Archive for February, 2005

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Tuesday, February 22, 2005

 

Biphallic Pictures

This should generate a little bit of traffic. ๐Ÿ™‚

Update: It’s attracting quite a bit of traffic actually. Several gay forums seem to have noticed and are sending people my way. Now if only someone would buy a dildo. ๐Ÿ™‚

If you’ve come here for a double dose of cock, why don’t you have a bit of a look around the rest of the site? There’s more to life than duplicate deep dicking, you know.

biphallic pornbiphallic pornbiphallic pornbiphallic pornbiphallic porn


news

Anything Into Oil

`Unlike other solid-to-liquid-fuel processes such as cornstarch into ethanol, this one will accept almost any carbon-based feedstock. If a 175-pound man fell into one end , he would come out the other end as 38 pounds of oil, 7 pounds of gas, and 7 pounds of minerals, as well as 123 pounds of sterilized water. While no one plans to put people into a thermal depolymerization machine, an intimate human creation could become a prime feedstock. “There is no reason why we can’t turn sewage, including human excrement, into a glorious oil,” says engineer Terry Adams, a project consultant.’


SHA-1 cracked!

`A three-person Chinese research team, comprised of mainly researchers from Shandong University in China, have broken the SHA-1 encryption algorithm. SHA is a popular one-way hash algorithm used to create digital signatures, and was developed by the NIST, and SHA-1 is a revision to the standard released in 1994. SHA-1 has been a method of encryption that has been in common use for the last nine years. Now, serious questions will be asked about its future effectiveness as a security measure.’


Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer?

I got 5/10. Don’t let me hire your IT staff, because 50% of them will try to kill you. ๐Ÿ™‚


jobs

Pictures of Walls

`The wall is the weapon of choice for the unarmed civilian.’


It’s a stupid name, say experts

`The Beckhams’ decision to call their baby Cruz has been branded ‘stupid’ by language experts. Cruz, which means ‘cross’ in Spanish, is an old-fashioned girls’ Christian name, they say.

It is also is commonly used as a surname, ‡ la the actress Penelope. ‘They’ll have problems in Spain because it will be seen as a name for girls,’ said Lola Oria, a Spanish language tutor at Oxford University.

‘It’s a strange thing to do to a little boy.”


3D Billiards


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Josh and Susan’s big date

`So i met this girl the other day, her name is Susan, and we went on this date tonight. I picked her up from her tree at 7:30 sharp and drove to my house.’


podcast

Monday, February 21, 2005

 

Paris Hilton’s Note Book Hack

`Private telephone numbers of celebrities have been unleashed on the Internet after an apparent hacking into Paris Hilton’s T-MOBILE SIDEKICK Address Book, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned.

The FBI has opened an investigation into the hack, a government source said.

The DRUDGE REPORT has confirmed the authenticity of many of the unlisted and super-secret numbers: Private phone numbers and email addresses of Eminem, Lindsay Lohan, Christina Aguilera, Andy Roddick, Ashlee Simpson, Victoria Gotti, Vin Diesel, Anna Kournikova and many others!’


faq

Hunter S. Thompson found dead

`Hunter S. Thompson, the American author and journalist died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound at his home in Colorado on Sunday.

The 67-year-old hero of counter culture and creator of “gonzo journalism”, best known for his book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, was found by his son Juan on Sunday evening according to the Aspen Daily News. Thompson’s wife, Anita Thompson, 32, was reportedly not at home when the shooting occurred.

“On February 20, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson took his life with a gunshot to the head at his fortified compound in Woody Creek, Colorado. The family will provide more information about memorial service and media contacts shortly. Hunter prized his privacy and we ask that his friends and admirers respect that privacy as well as that of his family,” Juan and Anita Thompson said in a statement released to the Aspen Daily News. “He stomped terra.”‘


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Friday, February 18, 2005

 

Hilarious Accident Report

`The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide ‘play by play’ of the incident. After telling them the story, he promised to send them a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box, it crashed their voice mail server.’

(1.5meg .mp3)


Deformed Piglet

This is a bit gross, but it reminds me of that South Park episode “An Elephant Makes Love To A Pig”.


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Missing plutonium ‘just on paper’

`Almost 30kg of plutonium apparently missing from the Sellafield nuclear plant is simply an auditing issue, it has been announced.

The UK Atomic Energy Authority (UKAEA) confirmed 29.6kg of plutonium – enough to make seven nuclear bombs – was “unaccounted for” in auditing records.

Operator, the British Nuclear Group (BNG), said it was a discrepancy between physical and book inventories.

UKAEA said there was no reason to think there was any “real loss” of plutonium. [..]

The figures also showed that 16.4kg of naturally-depleted uranium was also unaccounted for.’


news

U.S. pressure mounts on Syria

`A war of words is developing between Washington and Damascus, with the U.S. recalling its ambassador to Syria, and Syria shrugging off criticism of its troop presence in Lebanon and U.S. claims that it supports terrorism.

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Tuesday Syria was “unfortunately on a path right now where relations are not improving, but are worsening”.

Rice did not blame Syria for Monday’s bomb attack that killed Hariri and 16 others, but she did challenge Syria’s longstanding claim that its troops were needed in Lebanon to provide security.’

Of course, the only reasonable thing to do would be to invade Syria to bring Democracy to the people of Lebanon.


Think Tank

`This glowing life-like brain in a bubbling self contained unit, is much like the ones from the 1950’s horror films.

It’s great as an office oddity, or Halloween effect. The constant bubbling can even be relaxing.

The workmanship and detail are akin to that of Hollywood special effects departments. The tanks come fully assembled – (just add water!)’

More things I want for no reason. ๐Ÿ™‚


Stupid motorists, beware

`The Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office will invoke the state’s “stupid motorist law” for the first time, after a Cave Creek man drove around traffic barricades and tried to cross a flooded street last week in his Hummer.

The driver, Paul Zalewski, 47, reportedly ignored warnings not to enter Creek Canyon Road in Cave Creek on Friday.

But “Hummers are made to float,” sheriff’s spokesman Lt. Paul Chagolla said. “Other people told him not to go in there, and he did it anyway,” endangering himself and six passengers, including three children.’


jobs

Ecstasy trials for combat stress

`American soldiers traumatised by fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan are to be offered the drug ecstasy to help free them of flashbacks and recurring nightmares.

The US food and drug administration has given the go-ahead for the soldiers to be included in an experiment to see if MDMA, the active ingredient in ecstasy, can treat post-traumatic stress disorder.’


Fucking a Nigger Doll

The name says it all.

Quite a few non-employer-friendly links today. ๐Ÿ™‚


My Silicone Heroes

`Here are some of the guys who have inspired me from the beginning. They all fall into the category of “extreme”. If you’re curious about how far I plan to go with my injections, this will give you a pretty good idea.’

I bet the ladies love it. I bet your boss would be less impressed to catch you looking at it. ๐Ÿ™‚


search

Paris Hilton and Search Engines

`Every so often I do a monthly check-up of my hit stats for evilzug.com. It’s always cool to see what kind of traffic my site is getting because I often forget that there are people out there, looking at my stuff, on a daily basis. But this month, something is just unusual. I can’t place it yet, so I keep looking around.

I notice a spike of traffic from Yahoo image search. This is peculiar, as I don’t really have a lot of images on my site. Hmm… This catchs my eye!’

I experience a similar thing with biphallic images. Several orders of magnitude down the scale though.

Just wait until I post some actual pictures tho. ๐Ÿ™‚


podcast

How to Get Man Boobs

`You know you’ve dreamed of it since you were a little boy. You admired your mother’s ample bosom, grew green with envy when your sister began sprouting hers, couldn’t stop staring at stranger’s ones (still can’t, can you?), and now can’t get enough of your girlfriend’s/wife’s ones.

I’m talkin’ about Boobs! And now, thanks to the miracle that is tape, you yourself can also have this holiest of holies. In a quick 5 minutes, eHacked.com will transform you from an overweight pile of sludge, to the desire of all men all across the world.’


faq

Implants

`In December 1996, some friends described a guy that had a metal plate implanted inside his head, complete with spikes, to give him a “metal mohawk”. It was a pretty fuzzy story, which had probably been distorted after being retold by many people. I thought this was completely outrageous, but was very curious about it. The following spring, I ran across an extremely good article on a man named Steve Haworth at BME. Steve was the man that did the procedure I had heard about in December. As it turns out, Steve does many different procedures, including the metal mohawk, altho the story told to me was quite distorted.’

With generally unpleasant looking images.


participate

The Star-Nosed Mole

`With a mug like that, the star-nosed mole might seem to be in danger of scaring away all its food. Luckily, these bizarre-looking creatures can detect a snack and gulp it down all under a quarter of a second.

“Most predators take times ranging from minutes to seconds to handle their prey,” said Ken Catania of Vanderbilt University. “The only things I’ve found that come even close are some species of fish.”

The secret to the mole’s impressive foraging ability is the 22 appendages that ring its nose. Nearly blind, the animal uses this sensitive, star-shaped flesh to feel around in its dark, underground environment.’

This has to be about the craziest looking animal ever.


ShakeSkin

`Start by loosen up your muscles. Then we recommend using one of two techniques : Prrr or Shaken.

– To Prrr you hold your lips together and say ‘prrrr’, just like a horse on a sweet summer day.

– To Shakit you just shake your face from side to side and let those cheeks fly free.

Sometimes you drool, but thats perfectly normal.’


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Fun In The Park

`This all occured around about 10pm last Friday night… I jumped on my bike and headed towards the Wayville showgrounds to scope out the action at the Big Day Out… as I’m cutting through the parklands, I turn a corner, go over this little bridge, and fuck me but about 5m. away there’s two dudes standing behind a tree looking at me…

One of the dudes was real short. Either that or he’s not short he’s ON HIS KNEES! You *may* be able to figure out what the hell was happening there!’

Not really safe for work. ๐Ÿ™‚


news

Tom Cruise is a Silly Git

`Here’s “Mr. Tom Cruise” giving Scientology cult leader “Mr. David Miscavige” the galactic space patrol salute (think Arnold Rimmer in the scifi comedy Red Dwarf) at the International Association of Scientologists event, held in the U.K. in October, 2004′

If I found Tom Cruise’s face in a corn chip or a turd or something, I could sell it on eBay for atleast 50 cents.


Thursday, February 17, 2005

 

How do I swear in foreign languages?

`These following pages, surprisingly, contain strong language in places, please don’t proceed if you are easily offended.’

du verdammter Arschficker!


New York Brain Bank – Shipping Information

`These instructions outline the procedures of packing a fresh brain for shipment to the NYBB. Click on figures to enlarge them. Upon request, we provide packing material.’

With instructional pictures.


jobs

First Graders Face Sodomy Charges

`Did five elementary school students go too far? [..]

Earlington Police Chief Craig Patterson would like to think that this is an isolated incident, but he knows it is not. He’s investigating a similar situation at Earlington Elementary School where police say two first graders were found in the bathroom performing sexual acts. Both are now charged with first degree sodomy. Patterson says, “We’ve got to be concerned that something like this could happen in a place like that.”‘


You’re not our voice, Kiwis tell Farnham

`Australian singer John Farnham is disappointed he would not be performing at the 90th anniversary Anzac service at Gallipoli, his manager said today.

The star was invited by the Commonwealth War Graves Commission to sing at the event, but New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark has vetoed his performance, saying it would be inappropriate.

“I think it’s totally inappropriate to have loud entertainment on a place which was a killing field,” Ms Clark said on NZ radio today. [..]

NZ Government spokesman Ian Kennedy said he doubted Ms Clark had personally objected but snubbed the star by adding “I’m authorised to say New Zealand’s Prime Minister has never heard of Johnny Farnham”.’