`A poodle is recovering today after its owner found her covered in feces and blood in the backyard of her northeast Phoenix home.
Arizona Humane Society spokeswoman Angela Stringfellow says the eight-pound, five-year-old toy poodle had been raped and sodomized by a human.’
`Ryan Reynolds is a psittalinguist — a person who interprets budgie-speak.
Since 1999, he has invested thousands of hours slowing down and deconstructing recordings of his beloved budgie, Victor, who died five years ago at the young age of 3, as well as other talking budgies.
Victor had a vocabulary of 1,000 words, which he used in context, Reynolds says. [..]
So what are budgies saying?
“This is going to sound crazy, but they talk about spiritual things: God, the afterlife, a better world for them,” Reynolds says.’
‘A big dick and a limber body don’t belong to everyone, but if you can already get pretty close there are a few tricks you can do to improve and hopefully, get that incredible rush that comes when you finally make contact between your tongue and your own dick.
I first sucked my 9 inch dick at age fourteen and I think an early start helps. I laid off for a good ten years and when I started again, it took work to get back in contact. I’ve been doing it again for about two years, but lately have come to the belief that practice *definitely* pays off. Before, I could only lick the tip with real strain, legs thrown over my head. Now I am getting the whole juicy head in my mouth plus some shaft, and I can lick halfway down my dick and taste my balls. I can also now suck it standing up and sitting down.’
`An exasperated father has discovered to his cost that cyberspace is not the ideal arena for family feuds. Two weeks ago Steve Williams became so fed up with his daughter’s messy bedroom that he built a website featuring pictures of his slothful offspring’s lair in an attempt to shame her into action.
But the public humiliation proved a short-lived victory. While it did spur his daughter, Claire, into tidying up her room, it also whet her appetite for revenge. With the help of her father’s friends, the 20-year-old business student has now set up a rival website that displays photos of him in a variety of compromising situations.
“All my friends feel sorry for Claire so they’re ganging up on me,” said Mr Williams, of Whitehaven, Cumbria. “They’ve managed to dig out photos of me drunk and dancing round with a handbag at a party, and also put pictures of my garage on to show it’s not just Claire who’s untidy.
“The boot’s on the other foot now, but I suppose I deserve it.”‘
`When asked, most individuals will describe themselves as better-than-average in areas such as leadership, social skills, written expression, or just about any flavor of savvy where the individual has an interest. This tendency of the average person to believe he or she is better-than-average is known as the “above-average effect,” and it flies in the face of logic… by definition, descriptive statistics says that it is impossible for a majority of people to be above average. Clearly a large number of the self-described “above average” individuals are actually below average in those areas, and they are simply unaware of their incompetence.’
`A man with no arms has been caught speeding at 121 km/h (75 mph), according to police in New Zealand.
The driver, who used one foot to steer and another to operate the pedals, told officers he was born with no arms but had been driving for years.
The 32-year-old had passengers in the car when he was stopped on a highway near Papamoa in the Bay of Plenty area. [..]
Senior Constable Brent Gray approached the driver’s window, saw a foot on the dashboard and noticed the seat was reclined.
Mr Gray told colleagues he thought the man had an “attitude”, then noticed the driver had no arms.’
`When President Bush signed the reauthorization of the USA Patriot Act this month, he included an addendum saying that he did not feel obliged to obey requirements that he inform Congress about how the FBI was using the act’s expanded police powers. [..]
Bush signed the bill with fanfare at a White House ceremony March 9, calling it ”a piece of legislation that’s vital to win the war on terror and to protect the American people.” But after the reporters and guests had left, the White House quietly issued a ”signing statement,” an official document in which a president lays out his interpretation of a new law.
In the statement, Bush said that he did not consider himself bound to tell Congress how the Patriot Act powers were being used and that, despite the law’s requirements, he could withhold the information if he decided that disclosure would ”impair foreign relations, national security, the deliberative process of the executive, or the performance of the executive’s constitutional duties.”‘
`An Olympic gold medallist could not catch up with a gang of teenage robbers after they made off with her cash-stuffed purse.
Romanian Doina Melinte, who still holds the European record for the 1,500 metres, was attacked at a petrol station just outside Bucharest.
Three teenagers took her purse which had £17,000 pounds in it she was carrying to make a down payment on some land.
Melinte, who won gold in the 800 metres and silver in the 1,500 metres at the 1984 Olympics, gave chase but lost the trio after about half a mile.’
`The first computer circuit to be built on a single molecule has been unveiled by researchers in the US.
It was assembled on a single carbon nanotube, a standard component of any nanotechnologist’s toolkit.
The circuit is less than a fifth of the width of a human hair and can only be seen through an electron microscope.
The researchers, from IBM and two US universities in Florida and New York, told the journal Science that the work could lead to faster computer chips.’
‘Action clip from “Unefeatable”, a truly incredible martial arts film.’
(8meg Flash video)
see it here »
`Police in Charleston County say a naked man exposed himself to his 66-year-old neighbor, then later attacked officers with nunchucks.
Police say 49-year-old Rudolph Claude Smith went next door to his neighbor’s apartment to borrow some oil for a workout. While he was in the woman’s home, police say Smith took off his clothes and asked the woman to “oil him up.”
According to a police report, Smith attacked two officers with nunchucks when they came to his home to make an arrest. They also say the oil made it difficult for them to get a good grip on him.’
`Homeowners in an Orange County, Fla., neighborhood claim their community has been overrun by rats big enough to pick fights with small dogs, according to a Local 6 News report.
Residents in the Conway Acres neighborhood in Orange County said the rats are scurrying around their neighborhood 24 hours a day.
Homeowners said they have seen the rats running on power lines into homes. [..]
Neighbors said a home that was left in deplorable condition after Hurricane Charley provided a structure for the rats to multiply unnoticed. The rats then apparently spread throughout the neighborhood, according to the report.’
`H5N1 virus prefers to settle in cells deep within the lungs, rather than in the upper respiratory tract, as happens with human flu strains, two new studies have found.
H5N1 virus prefers to settle in cells deep within the lungs, rather than in the upper respiratory tract, as happens with human flu strains, two new studies have found.
That may help explain why human-to-human transmission of the bird flu virus has so far not happened — and might not happen in the future, Forbes.com reported Wednesday.
Since 2003, the H5N1 virus has been found in Asia, Europe, Africa and the Middle East, and has led to the slaughter of tens of millions of domestic fowl. While infection has primarily been limited to birds, the virus has killed 103 people via bird-to-human transmission.’
`Reebok is recalling 300 000 children’s charm bracelets after a four-year-old died from lead poisoning after swallowing a piece of the jewellery, the US government said.
The silver-coloured bracelets, bearing heart-shaped charms engraved with the “Reebok” name, were given away with the purchase of children’s shoes in major shoe stores across the country.
The bracelets contain high levels of lead, the Consumer Product Safety Commission said.’
`[..] Teachers at his facility are forbidden to use the “e-word” (evolution)
with the kids. They are permitted to use the word “adaptation” but only to refer to a current characteristic of an organism, not as a product of evolutionary change via natural selection. They cannot even use the term “natural selection.” Bob feared that not being able to use evolutionary terms and ideas to answer his students’ questions would lead to reinforcement of their misconceptions.
But Bob’s personal issue was more specific, and the prohibition more insidious. In his words, “I am instructed NOT to use hard numbers when telling kids how old rocks are. I am supposed to say that these rocks are VERY VERY OLD … but I am NOT to say that these rocks are thought to be about 300 million years old.”’
`Thousands of calls to Chattanooga’s 911 call center have been going unanswered, according to records examined after a caller was unable to report a kitchen fire because three of four dispatchers were taking breaks at the same time.
Stacey Hunter and her family members called 911 from her home phone and cellular phones Monday afternoon when the fire broke out, but the calls went unanswered. Finally, Artterius Bonds, and 14-year-old nephew, Quayshaune Fountain, ended up running a half mile to get help from the fire station. No one was hurt.’
`A Pierce County man is in jail for a botched attempt at kidnapping a young girl. It happened March 8th on a rural road near Yelm.
According to court documents, a 12-year-old girl was walking home after getting off the school bus when a man wearing a camouflage mask grabbed her from behind and tied a towel around her head to keep the girl from seeing his face. [..]
The blindfolded victim apparently recognized the phone’s unique ringtone and said, “Jimmy you are scaring me. If it’s you Jimmy, stop it.”
The startled attacker ran off, leaving the girl bound and alone in the woods. She managed to free herself and ran home where she reported the attack to her dad, who called police.’
`Remember the whiny, insecure kid in nursery school, the one who always thought everyone was out to get him, and was always running to the teacher with complaints? Chances are he grew up to be a conservative.
At least, he did if he was one of 95 kids from the Berkeley area that social scientists have been tracking for the last 20 years. The confident, resilient, self-reliant kids mostly grew up to be liberals.
The study from the Journal of Research Into Personality isn’t going to make the UC Berkeley professor who published it any friends on the right. Similar conclusions a few years ago from another academic saw him excoriated on right-wing blogs, and even led to a Congressional investigation into his research funding.’
`Act now and let evangelist Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron show you how to share the way of salvation to a bunch of dirty pillowbiters without causing undue offense! To play at home you’ll need about 20 years of repressed homosexuality and residual cash from a bloody awful 80s shit-com.’
It’s a 30 minute long video..
`A new jet engine design able to fly seven times the speed of sound is scheduled to launch over Australia on Saturday.
The scramjet engine, known as Hyshot III, has been designed by British defence firm QinetiQ.
If successful, it could pave the way for ultrafast, intercontinental air travel, and substantially cut the cost of putting small payloads into space.
The engine will launch on a rocket owned by the University of Queensland.’
`State senators are considering a proposal that would allow South Carolina to execute those convicted two or more times of sexually assaulting children.
The amendment came as the Senate took up sexual offender legislation crafted in response to a Florida girl kidnapped and killed last year and a week after a Hartsville man was charged with abducting two girls to an underground shelter and assaulting them.
Currently, South Carolina prosecutors can only seek the death penalty for murder with aggravating circumstances. If the proposed amendment by Sen. Kevin Bryant of Anderson passes, South Carolina would join Louisiana as the only other state to allow the death penalty for an offense other than murder, senators said.’
`Last night, Mr. Kevin Smith a.k.a. Silent Bob a.k.a. director of “Dogma” and “Clerks” and “Jersey Girl” (!!!) spoke at my escuela and, in the midst of a huge amount of profanity and cock jokes, he pulled out some stories about his compatriot, Jason Mewes (Jay). Jay used to be a hardcore heroin addict, but when he finally officially cleaned up about 3 years ago, he started getting way more ass.
“I fuck a lot more,” Smith said Mewes said, “and remember it more. But I fuck a lot shorter too.” Apparently one of his remembered sexcapades was everyone’s favorite walking stick, Nicole Richie, who, and I quote, “pulled Jay into a bathroom and just sat on his dick and started going at it.” While he ejaculated in approximately 30 seconds and it was “running all over her back,” she didn’t notice because she “had had a few drinks or something.” By “drinks,” I’m sure he was meant “blow” but didn’t say it since that would have been a confusingly false sex pun.’
‘Winnie the Pooh and Tigger, too, in ‘Nam. See Piglet suddenly transformed into Dennis Hopper’s mind-blown journalist! See Pooh pulled by a runaway kite, accompanied by the Stones’ “Satisfaction.” It’s Apocalypse Now Redux Redux…’
It’s okay, but not all that great.
see it here »
`German and Japanese scientists recently collaborated to achieve just such a quantum leap in obliterating the world record for data transmission. By transmitting a data signal at 2.56 terabits per second over a 160-kilometer link (equivalent to 2,560,000,000,000 bits per second or the contents of 60 DVDs) the researchers bettered the old record of 1.28 terabits per second held by a Japanese group. By comparison, the fastest high-speed links currently carry data at a maximum 40 Gbit/s, or around 50 times slower.’
`The Pleasure Periscope is a vibrator and a periscope! Enter into the anus or vagina and watch what’s inside from a 1-inch square window. The rounded clear plastic tip lights up. The 1-inch shaft is hollow with a mirror inside its base. Insertable to about 4.5 inches. It has separate on/off switches for both the vibrator and the light, so you can use either one independently of the other. Total height 8.5 inches.
Uses 2 AA batteries (not included).’
`XG, a division of MGE, has launched an external high-end 600 W fanless power supply, called Magnum 600 External. Yes, you read it right: external. The idea is to provide “true” 600 W power and, at the same time, to help lowering the temperature inside the PC, since high-end power supplies increase the PC internal temperature. Let’s take a look on this new concept.’
I want one. I don’t need one, but that doesn’t stop me.
‘The fine folks in New York have completely lost their minds and given Britney Spears her own Pro-Life monument at Capla Kesting Fine Art in Brooklyn’s Williamsburg gallery district. The life-sized statue celebrates the recent birth of Spears’ baby boy, Sean, and applauds her decision of placing family before career. Gallery co-director Lincoln Capla says, “A superstar at Britney’s young age having a child is rare in today’s celebrity culture. This dedication honors Britney for the rarity of her choice and bravery of her decision.”‘
This is fucken funny. My girlfriend wonders what it looks like from behind. I kinda wonder the same, but I think I’d rather keep wondering than actually know.
see it here »
`Climate change over the next 20 years could result in a global catastrophe costing millions of lives in wars and natural disasters..
A secret report, suppressed by US defence chiefs and obtained by The Observer, warns that major European cities will be sunk beneath rising seas as Britain is plunged into a ‘Siberian’ climate by 2020. Nuclear conflict, mega-droughts, famine and widespread rioting will erupt across the world.
The document predicts that abrupt climate change could bring the planet to the edge of anarchy as countries develop a nuclear threat to defend and secure dwindling food, water and energy supplies. The threat to global stability vastly eclipses that of terrorism, say the few experts privy to its contents.’
`In short, virtually all keypad entry systems – as used in various applications, including building access control, alarm system control, electronic lock safes, ATM input, etc – are susceptible to a trivial low-profile passphrase snooping scheme. This attack enables the attacker to quickly and unobtrusively recover previously entered passphrases with a high degree of success. This is in contrast to previously documented methods of keypad snooping; these methods were in general either highly intrusive – required close presence or installation of specialized hardware – or difficult to carry out and not very reliable (e.g., examining deposited fingerprints – works in low-use situations only, and does not reveal the ordering of digits).’
These people are convinced they’ve seen a leprechaun up in a tree. It only comes out at night, and it mysteriously vanishes when you try and shine a light on it.
But it hasn’t stopped them from gathering in huge crowds every night and dressing up in camo gear in attempts to try and see the thing.
A magical leprechaun flute that has been passed down in one family for thousands of years is involved aswell.
(3.8meg Flash video)
Update: Someone over at ZGeek dug up the story that goes with this. It’s doesn’t explain much more than the video, but if you want you can read all about the Leprechaun Sighting.
see it here »