Archive for April, 2006

Thursday, April 20, 2006

 

Drunk Will Show You, Everybody

`In response to the shit he knows everyone is saying about him, local resident Todd Stenerud, after a prolonged drinking session, announced his intention to show you and everyone else just minutes before closing time at a local bar Monday.

“You people don’t know [what] the fuck you’re talking about,” Stenerud announced from his stool at Dan’s Pub. “You think I can’t? Know what? I’ll show you. I’ll show everybody.”

Stenerud, who is frequently drunk, added that if those assembled were opposed to his announcement, they could kiss his “big red baboon ass.”‘


language

Average Homeboy!

Definately average. You’ll be blazed.

(7.3meg Flash video)

see it here »


terms

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

 

Train bash survivor thanking metal gods

`The metal gods were smiling on Jesse Maggrah.

The 20-year-old man was walking beside railway tracks on Sunday, the Norwegian heavy metal band Gorgoroth cranked on his portable CD player, when he was hit by a freight train. [..]

He has several broken ribs, one which is poking into a lung, his doctors have told him. Maggrah is also very sore and stiff, and is having trouble walking.

Maggrah said he didn’t hear the train over his music and he didn’t feel anything through the ground.

“Maybe the metal gods above were smiling on me and they didn’t want one of their true warriors to die on them. Otherwise, I’d be up there in the kingdom of steel.”‘


First LA Case Of Bubonic Plague Reported Since 1984

`A woman from the Country Club Park area contracted a case of bubonic plague, the first human case in Los Angeles County since 1984, county health officials said Tuesday.

The woman, who has not been identified, came down with symptoms last week and remains hospitalized.

Health officials said they believe the woman was exposed to fleas in the area around her house, although an investigation is continuing.

Public health workers set out traps Tuesday to catch squirrels and other wild animals in the area near her home. County Public Health Laboratory workers will test blood from those animals to determine if there has been any exposure to the plague bacteria.’


Drink Driver Banned for Life Plus 109 Years

`Britain’s worst driver was [behind] bars last night after being banned from the roads for nine lifetimes plus 109 years.

John Williamson, 40, was locked up for 14 months yesterday after he admitted defying eight previous life bans for drinking and driving.

In 2000, Williamson was branded the worst driver “in Scotland, if not the UK”, after earning his sixth life ban.

At the time, he claimed he only got behind the wheel when he was drunk.

He also claimed he had never caused an accident – shortly before smashing into a police car.

At Perth Sheriff Court yesterday, Williamson was banned for life for the ninth time after he admitted driving while disqualified and with no insurance.’


tour

Cruise plays down ‘placenta plan’

`Hollywood actor Tom Cruise has played down reports that he plans to eat the placenta of his new baby.

The War of the Worlds star was quoted in GQ magazine saying he thought the placenta and umbilical cord would be “very nutritious”.

But in a subsequent interview with Diane Sawyer on US television, he made light of the comments.

“Yeah, we’re going to do that – a whole family thing. Isn’t that normal and natural? No, we’re not eating it.”‘

followup to Tom Cruise’s placenta plans.


New Detectors Sniff Terrorists’ Scents

`The Pentagon’s fringe science arm wants to keep track of potential enemies-of-the-state in every way imaginable: not just by sight, or by sound, or by their e-mail; but by their smell, as well.

Darpa’s “Unique Signature Detection Project (formerly known as the Odortype Detection program)” aims to sniff out genetic markers in “human emanations (urine, sweat, etc.)” that “can be used to identify and distinguish specific high-level-of-interest individuals within groups of enemy troops.”

“Recent experimental results” show that chemical compounds in a mouse’s “urinary” scent produces an “odortype” that’s unique to each individual rodent, Darpa observes in its original solicitation for the project. “Although experimental data for humans is far less quantitative,” the agency is hoping that a similarly “genetically determined,” “exploitable chemosignal” can be found in people, too.’


content

School Makes Students Use Buckets Instead Of Bathrooms

`School officials in Inglewood, Calif., said an elementary school principal made an “honest mistake” while trying to prevent student walkouts during immigration rallies.

Angie Marquez imposed a lockdown as nearly 40,000 students across Southern California left classes to attend immigrants’ rights demonstrations. But the lockdown didn’t allow children to go to the bathroom, forcing them to use buckets in the classroom.

One activist said what happened was “unsanitary, unnecessary and absolutely unacceptable.”

Marquez apparently misread the district handbook and ordered a lockdown designed for nuclear attacks.’


participate

ASIO takes hunt for spies online

`Australia’s top spy agency ASIO is surfing the net for new recruits as part of a $1 million campaign.

The Australian Security Intelligence Organisation (ASIO) has paid for a “sponsored link” on web search engine Google to find budding spies.

Sponsored links enable organisations and companies to have their names and brief messages pop up when a web surfer keys in the name or associated words.’


about

Woman Unknowingly Videotapes Sister’s Demise

`In an odd twist of fate, a sister caught her sister’s last minutes alive – without even knowing.

Maria Ramoutar and her sister were in separate cars on their way back from Miami Beach when Maria saw a fiery car crash. She decided to videotape it with her cell phone.

Four people inside that burning car died, including Maria’s sister.

Maria didn’t find out it was her sister till the next day. Now she says she wishes she would have done something to save her.’


rss

‘Crafty fag’ patient is burned to death

`A hospital patient died when he became engulfed in flames as he lit a cigarette after being treated with an inflammable gel for a skin complaint.

Philip Hoe, 60, is believed to have sneaked out of a ward and on to a fire escape stairwell to get around a smoking ban.

It is believed that as he lit the cigarette it ignited fumes from a paraffin and kerosene wax cream used on large areas of his body.

The gel is thought to have soaked into his nightclothes which burst into flames, causing him to scream in agony.’


The advert enforcer

`Philips suggests adding flags to commercial breaks to stop a viewer from changing channels until the adverts are over. The flags could also be recognised by digital video recorders, which would then disable the fast forward control while the ads are playing.

Philips’ patent acknowledges that this may be “greatly resented by viewers” who could initially think their equipment has gone wrong. So it suggests the new system could throw up a warning on screen when it is enforcing advert viewing. The patent also suggests that the system could offer viewers the chance to pay a fee interactively to go back to skipping adverts.’


Grrrrrrr

Not safe for work.

Unless you are some sort of professional fat porn viewer.


language

Tom Cruise’s placenta plans

`Dad-to-be Tom Cruise has vowed to eat the placenta of his newborn baby and plans to dine on the umbilical cord too.

The actor’s bizarre plans are sure to shock his legions of fans but the Hollywood heavyweight insists he plans to cook the unusual meal after fiancée Katie Holmes gives birth.

The 43 year-old star told America’s GQ magazine: “I’m going to eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I’m going to eat the cord and the placenta right there.”

Cruise, a devoted Scientologist, made the decision after reading the afterbirth contains important nutrients and vitamins.’


terms

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

 

Pimp Her Ride

Pretty strange. Not safe for work.

(1.1meg Flash video)

see it here »


Monday, April 17, 2006

 

The Surreal, Fantastic Realist, Psychedilic & Visionary Artists of the 21st Century Links Gallery


Going Nuclear

`In the early 1970s when I helped found Greenpeace, I believed that nuclear energy was synonymous with nuclear holocaust, as did most of my compatriots. That’s the conviction that inspired Greenpeace’s first voyage up the spectacular rocky northwest coast to protest the testing of U.S. hydrogen bombs in Alaska’s Aleutian Islands. Thirty years on, my views have changed, and the rest of the environmental movement needs to update its views, too, because nuclear energy may just be the energy source that can save our planet from another possible disaster: catastrophic climate change.

Look at it this way: More than 600 coal-fired electric plants in the United States produce 36 percent of U.S. emissions — or nearly 10 percent of global emissions — of CO2, the primary greenhouse gas responsible for climate change. Nuclear energy is the only large-scale, cost-effective energy source that can reduce these emissions while continuing to satisfy a growing demand for power. And these days it can do so safely.’


tour

Sunday, April 16, 2006

 

Passion play gone wrong

`A man portraying Jesus during a passion play in Mexico City has been taken to hospital after he fell from the cross.

The 29-year-old actor hit his head on the ground after falling up to three metres yesterday as he was being lowered to be laid in a tomb, television reports said.’


Saturday, April 15, 2006

 

Sorority On Probation For Giving ‘Blackest Member’ Award

`The Kent State University chapter of a national sorority is on probation over some comments that have angered some of the university’s black students, NewsChannel5 reported.

The controversy surrounds an award given out at the Chi Omega formal last Saturday. A student who was catering the event heard an award given out for the “blackest Chi Omega.”

Candace Poole said she was shocked to hear applause in the room as a white member accepted the award.

A group of black students met Thursday with sorority members, who said the award was meant as a joke and was the idea of just a few students, including the black date of the recipient.

He said his date received the award because she was motherly and nurturing.’


content

GTA cited as car-chase motive

`From the life-does-not-always-imitate-art department, an Albany, New York, resident was sentenced to jail for second-degree assault and attempted first-degree assault, reports the online branch of Capital 9 News.

Tyrone McMillan was taken into custody last year after leading police on a car chase when officers attempted to pull him over for a parole violation. After slamming into two cars, McMillan told police that he thought he could outrun them because he played games from Rockstar’s controversial Grand Theft Auto franchise.

McMillan, in his 30s, apparently thought that his gaming skills translated to the real world. His experience navigating the fictional streets of San Andreas and Vice City with a PlayStation 2 controller led to a 55-minute real-life car chase, part of which had his girlfriend’s 11-year-old daughter and her 10-year-old cousin in the backseat. The girls leapt from the moving car while it was turning onto a highway.’


participate

New Fashion ‘Bug’

`This season’s creepiest fashion accessory is a live, bejeweled cockroach worn as jewelry – and what better place for roach couture than New York?

“This really reinforces my theory that society is imploding,” cracked Pete Donelan of Princeton, whose meal at a tony wine bar was interrupted by the sight of our live cockroach – Kafka – scurrying up its wearer’s arm.

The giant Madagascar hissing cockroach, which is about three inches long and actually does hiss, is partially covered in brightly colored Swarovski crystals, which are glued to its hard outer shell.’


about

New and Improved Antimatter Spaceship for Mars Missions

`Most self-respecting starships in science fiction stories use antimatter as fuel for a good reason – it’s the most potent fuel known. While tons of chemical fuel are needed to propel a human mission to Mars, just tens of milligrams of antimatter will do (a milligram is about one-thousandth the weight of a piece of the original M&M candy).

However, in reality this power comes with a price. Some antimatter reactions produce blasts of high energy gamma rays. Gamma rays are like X-rays on steroids. They penetrate matter and break apart molecules in cells, so they are not healthy to be around. High-energy gamma rays can also make the engines radioactive by fragmenting atoms of the engine material.

The NASA Institute for Advanced Concepts (NIAC) is funding a team of researchers working on a new design for an antimatter-powered spaceship that avoids this nasty side effect by producing gamma rays with much lower energy.’


rss

Friday, April 14, 2006

 

US offers Babylon damage apology

`A senior US marine officer says he is willing to apologise for the damage caused by his troops to the ancient Iraqi site of Babylon.

US forces built a helicopter pad on the ancient ruins and filled their sandbags with archaeological material in the months following the 2003 invasion.

Colonel Coleman was chief of staff at Babylon when it was occupied by the First Marine Expeditionary Force.

Babylon’s Hanging Gardens were among the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World.’


The Foam Monster That Ate Ellsworth Air Base

`Test of a Fire Fighting Foam system at Ellsworth AFB. This was only supposed to last a few seconds, but the system would not shut-off.’


101 Dumbest Moments in Business

`Notorious former mental institutions being converted into high-end condos. Candy bars with curious names. And more stupidity. See our list of the year’s most boneheaded blunders.’


language

Stupid user tricks: Eleven IT horror stories

`No matter how hard we pray, how many chickens we sacrifice, how often we chant naked by moonlight, every network is at one time or other exposed to the ultimate technology risk: users.

They’re short, tall, skinny, and fat. They’re smart or stupid, unique or cloned — but no matter what, they’ll abuse technology.’


terms

Food wrap linked to prostate cancer

`A chemical used to make food wrapping and line tin cans could be the cause of surging prostate cancer rates in men, says a study.

Bisphenol A is widely used in the food industry to make polycarbonate drinks bottles and the resins used to line tin cans, even though it is known to leach into food and has long been suspected of disrupting human sex hormones.

The new research suggests the small but constant level of bisphenol A entering people’s diet has a particular impact on pregnant women, disastrously altering the development of unborn baby sons.

The chemical causes microscopic changes in the developing prostate gland but these are not apparent at birth. Instead, they show up years later when they lead to a range of prostate diseases, such as enlargement and cancer. The changes can also cause malformation of the urethra, the channel for urine.’


Leopard Man

Leopard man lives alone on a small Scottish island. He has tattoos all over his body and sharpened leopard-like teeth.

Occasionally he paddles his kayak to the mainland to buy some food and have a beer.

(8.2meg Windows media)


Florescent Light vs Scrotum

Seems a bit silly, if you ask me.

(1.4meg Windows media)


tour

Jewish sex commando targets Israeli porn websites

`A group of Jewish ultra-Orthodox hackers is waging a war against pornographic websites, replacing their content with nothing but the picture of a revered rabbi, an Israeli paper reported Monday.

To fight what they see as an abomination, the ultra-Orthodox “sex commando” has so far targeted only Israeli-based websites, the mass-selling Yedioth Aharonot reported. [..]

Instead of seeing images of sexy girls, anyone who logs onto the site encounters the stern look of the white-bearded Rabbi Menahem Mendel Schneerson, the late leader of the popular Jewish Lubavitch movement.

Below his image appear the words “we, the Da-Net group, have hacked into this site and erased all its abomination.”‘