Archive for August, 2006

guidelines

Monday, August 28, 2006

 

Baseball Nut Shot

‘A hitter for the Tigers bends back to avoid a pitch that’s a bit too inside. Unfortunately as he bends back his puts his balls right in the line of fire. At least he gets on base!’

(1.9meg Windows media)

see it here »


Saturday, August 26, 2006

 

I played WoW, I became a terrorist

`It all started when I got out of my seat to go to the bathroom. I went to the bathroom, washed my hands, and returned to my seat. A little while later the two stewardesses on the flight crossed each other in the aisle. They had a quick conversation that I was in earshot of. [..]

So now I’m starting to realize that this is turning into a big problem. They offer their condolences, tell me that it’s unfortunate, and I take a seat. Okay. So far, not so bad. I return to my seat and spend the rest of the flight trying to act normal.

That is, right up until the pilot comes over the intercom.’


marketing

Friday, August 25, 2006

 

Sex aid declared as bomb

`Madin Azad Amin was intending to travel to Turkey with his mother when he was stopped by officials on August 16 after they spotted a grenade-like object in Mr Amin’s baggage, said AP.

Rather explaining the nature of the item in front of his mother, Mr Amin told the officials it was a bomb.

The item was in fact a section of a penis pump, AP reported Cook County Assistant State’s Attorney Lorraine Scaduto as having said.


Ghost Rider Gets Car Stolen

‘Some dude is having his buddy taping him ghost riding his car in his neighborhood. A guy walking down the street sees him and decides to steal his car.’

(4.3meg Windows media)

see it here »


research

The Thing With Two Heads

A trailer for a movie about a white guys head being attached to a black guys body.

(5.5meg Flash video)

see it here »


e-mail

Slo-Mo Home Depot

`A few years back we executed a mission that involved repeating time. Ever since then I’ve wanted to try something that stopped or slowed down time. How would people react if they found themselves surrounded by people moving forward at a different rate or time (or not moving at all)? I decided the Home Depot on 23rd Street in Manhattan was the perfect place to try this out for two reasons. 1) The assonance in “Slo-Mo Home Depot” sounds funny. 2) The mere existence of a Home Depot, an enormous behemoth of a store, on our tiny island is hilarious. It also helped that the store is located on the exact same block as the Best Buy we invaded earlier this year.’


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Thursday, August 24, 2006

 

Veegle – Substantiated True Facts

Lots of interesting bits of information, and some sorta search engine thingy to search through them.


Mysterious Bag Not Dangerous, Just Disgusting

`In this day and time when terrorism is a threat, you just can’t be too careful.

A suspicious-looking black bag was sitting close to 20,000 gallons of jet fuel at the Somerset Airport Tuesday, prompting an employee to dial 911.

Airport Manager Ron Swartz looked at the bag through binoculars and said he couldn’t spot anything that would help identify it. Somerset Police officers responded to the scene, and after carefully approaching the black bag, opted to peek inside.

Fortunately, the only thing nefarious about the bag was its odor. The contents included a vomit-stained shirt and some empty beer cans.’


conditions

Speeding fines may come to sudden halt

`Every speed camera fine issued by the Roads and Traffic Authority since 1999 may be invalid, after a judge ruled the photos used to convict drivers were meaningless.

The decision in the Sydney District Court by Judge John Nicholson, SC, could cost the State Government hundreds of millions of dollars, said Dennis Miralis, the solicitor who won the case. [..]

He found that to be given weight as evidence the digital cameras that took the photos had to be calibrated every day. The authority calibrated its cameras once a year, Mr Miralis said.

He said every person convicted on such evidence since 1999 – when digital cameras came in – had been improperly convicted.’


Chillies aid Sumatra jail break

`Eighteen Indonesian prisoners broke out of jail using an unusual weapon – the chilli pepper.

Prisoners at Pematang Siantar jail in Sumatra mixed hot chillies with water in plastic bottles to spray at guards.

The fiery liquid temporarily blinded the guards, allowing prisoners to grab their keys and make the break for freedom.’


tour

Boy Charged For Meowing At Neighbor Lady

`Meow. A Pennsylvania judge is being asked to decide whether that word is a harmless taunt or grounds for misdemeanor harassment.

Police have charged a 14-year-old boy with that crime. Michael Loughner is accused of meowing whenever he sees his 78-year-old neighbor, Alexandria Carasia.

The boy’s family got rid of their cat after Carasia complained that it was using her flower garden as a litter box. Now, she said, the boy makes meowing sounds every time he sees her.

He said he’s only meowed at her twice.’


Police crack down on striptease funerals

`Striptease send-offs at funerals may become a thing of the past in east China after five people were arrested for organizing the intimate farewells, state media reported on Wednesday.

Police swooped last week after two groups of strippers gave “obscene performances” at a farmer’s funeral in Donghai County, Jiangsu province, Xinhua news agency said.

The disrobing served a higher purpose, the report noted.

“Striptease used to be a common practice at funerals in Donghai’s rural areas to allure viewers,” it said. “Local villagers believe that the more people who attend the funeral, the more the dead person is honored.”‘


guidelines

Shot Whacks Kid In Face

‘Some dude takes a shot with his buddy defending. The shot hits the side of the goal and ricochets off the post straight into his friends face.’

(490kB Windows media)

see it here »


Cat-killing raccoons on prowl in west Olympia

`Raccoons are cute, until they kill one of your cats.

That is what a west Olympia neighborhood is learning this summer.

Raccoons have killed about 10 cats in a three-block area near the Garfield Nature Trail at Harrison Avenue West and Foote Street Southwest.

Problem wildlife coordinator Sean Carrell of the state Department of Fish and Wildlife called the situation “bizarre, weird.”‘


marketing

Operation Acoustic Kitty

`One of the CIA’s most bizarre Cold War efforts was Operation Acoustic Kitty. In declassified documents from the CIA’s super-secret Science and Technology Directorate, it was revealed that some Cold-War-era cats were surgically altered to become sophisticated bugging devices. The idea was that the cats would eavesdrop on Soviet conversations from park benches, windowsills and garbage containers. The cat was meant to just stroll up to the sensitive conversations, completely unnoticed. The clandestine cat’s electrical internals would then capture and relay the audio to awaiting agents.’


Wednesday, August 23, 2006

 

Korean Girl Has Seizure Onstage

‘…and the other girls just keep on singing! An instant classic.’

see it here »


research

Armor of God PJs

`The Armor Of God PJ’s were inspired by a mother reading Ephesians 6:10-18 every night to her daughter to give her a safe and secure feeling in the dark. As they read the scriptures, they put on each spiritual and powerful piece of the Armor of God to keep them safe and peaceful thile they slept.’


e-mail

Heard about the guy who had a sex-change after his girlfriend said she’s a lesbian?

`”Harukarin Blog,” the hot bestseller, tells the supposedly true story of Harukarin Nakagawa, a 23-year-old who claims to have undergone a sex change operation that made him a woman because his girlfriend of several years decided she was a lesbian and would prefer he was female.

“Harukarin Blog” is comprised mainly of excerpts taken from Nakagawa’s blog entries detailing her transformation from man to woman and has sold steadily since it hit bookstore shelves in May.

“Our love was truly a matter of life or death. I truly believe I can overcome any fate to be with the woman I love so much,” Cyzo quotes Harukarin saying in the preface to her story.’


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Bin Laden ‘fantasised over’ Whitney Houston

Diary of A Lost Girl: The Autobiography Of Kola Boof

‘Osama bin Laden, the al-Qaeda leader, was obsessed with the singer Whitney Houston and wanted to marry her, a new book claims.

Kola Boof, a Sudanese poet and novelist, who says she was kept against her will as the terrorism mastermind’s mistress in 1996, writes in her autobiography that he wanted to give the star a mansion and make her one of his wives.

“He told me that Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen,” Boof claims in Diary of a Lost Girl, excerpts of which are published in Harper’s magazine.

But bin Laden had less respect for Houston’s husband Bobby Brown, apparently talking about the possibility of having him killed.’


Tuesday, August 22, 2006

 

The 5 Most Obviously Drug-Fueled TV Appearances Ever

I think the Richard Pryor interview is hilarious:

‘Around 6:29, he launches into a vigorous fit of mock masturbation which, when conducted on national TV, is a pretty good indicator that you’re out of your fucking gourd. Pryor also says a few things that might suggest he’s on drugs, such as: “I didn’t get caught yesterday buying seven pounds of cocaine in front of eight policemen.”’

(32meg Flash video)

see it here »


conditions

Man abandons dogs to steal bikes

`A thief in Perth is stealing expensive motorbikes while on test rides after leaving dogs behind as security.

Police believe one man is responsible for stealing two bikes and abandoning two dogs in two separate thefts this month.

The first theft occurred almost two weeks ago after a Wanneroo man advertised his motorcycle for $10,000, officers say.

“A man arrived at his house with a dog and was given permission to take the bike for a test ride, leaving his dog with the seller,” police said.

“The man did not return with the bike, or for his pit-bull terrier dog.”‘


Article of Clothing with a Novel Attachment Means

`Don’t put your clothes on, put them IN! (In your anus, your vagina, whatever you’ve got to work with).

Inventor John Mott Goodman has patented an entirely new way to hang clothing–snap them into your genitals. Tired of that thong creeping up your bum? Your best solution might be to jam it in further. This invention holds your clothes in place by snapping them onto a bulb that is inserted into your vagina and/or rectum. Don’t just cover your orifices, fill them in as well!’


tour

Bad Babysitter Scares Kid

‘This really mean babysitter scares the crap out of some kid by screaming THE MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!’

(2.6meg Windows media)

see it here »


Sunday, August 20, 2006

 

A Molecular Link between the Active Component of Marijuana and Alzheimer’s Disease Pathology

`[..] Computational modeling of the THC-AChE interaction revealed that THC binds in the peripheral anionic site of AChE, the critical region involved in amyloidgenesis. Compared to currently approved drugs prescribed for the treatment of Alzheimer’s disease, THC is a considerably superior inhibitor of A aggregation, and this study provides a previously unrecognized molecular mechanism through which cannabinoid molecules may directly impact the progression of this debilitating disease.

[..] Therefore, AChE inhibitors such as THC and its analogues may provide an improved therapeutic for Alzheimer’s disease, augmenting acetylcholine levels by preventing neurotransmitter degradation and reducing A aggregation, thereby simultaneously treating both the symptoms and progression of Alzheimer’s disease.’


guidelines

Saturday, August 19, 2006

 

1,000,000 Thank Yous

Do you deserve to be thanked a million times?


Google is No. 1 search on AOL

`Out of more than 36 million search queries that hundreds of thousands of AOL users typed into AOL’s Internet search engine from March to May, here is the term most queried: Google.

That so many customers would use one search engine to find another is among the odd truths being mined from AOL’s public release of search data. The company last week called the incident involving 658,000 users’ queries a “screw-up” and apologized. But for better or worse, the data offer the first widespread public glimpse of how people search the Internet, of what they are interested in. Of how people think.’


marketing

Mystery of tree solved by officials, pilgrims keep coming

`Officials may have solved the mystery of a tree that has gurgled water from its trunk for months, attracting a steady stream of pilgrims who consider it holy water.

Officials with the San Antonio Water System shut off water service to Lucille Pope’s modest East Side home and found that the tree stopped leaking, according to Wednesday’s online edition of the San Antonio Express-News.

“They think the roots have gotten into the waterline,” said Lloyd Pope, Lucille’s 47-year-old son. “They don’t know where yet, though.” [..]

Despite officials’ explanation Wednesday and despite the “Do Not Enter” sign outside, the visitors kept on coming for the water, which they believe has healing properties.’


Man Delivers White Powder To North Bay Firefighter

`A man knocked on the door of the fire station near the corner of San Ramon Way and San Marin Drive in Novato at about 11:30 p.m.

A firefighter answered and saw a man wearing goggles and surgical gloves and holding a gallon-sized bag with a white powdery, crystal-like substance inside. The man tried to hand the firefighter the bag but the firefighter refused. The man turned and ran to a car where a second person and they drove away.

The firefighter did not handle the bag but he said he felt a burning sensation on his face.’


research

Priceless Stuck Mankini

see it here »


e-mail

Ibex attack ruins girl’s birthday

`A birthday party went horribly wrong yesterday when a goat at the Winnipeg Zoo was killed by its herd in front of the birthday girl.

Terry Geiger and her boyfriend had taken Geiger’s daughter, Angie, and a friend to the zoo for the six-year-old’s birthday when two Alpine ibex goats started fighting in the enclosure in front of them.

“At first it was entertaining,” Geiger said. “It was like watching the Discovery Channel but it just got worse and worse.”‘


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