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Monday, October 29, 2007

 

The 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The U.S. Army

‘7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me. [..]

23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack. [..]

29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”. [..]

33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody. [..]

45. I am not allowed to “Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddy’s little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies”. [..]

60. “The Giant Space Ants” are not at the top of my chain of command. [..]

77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them “You don’t need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for.” [..]

79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese. [..]’




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