Posts tagged as: ebay

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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

 

HILLARY CLINTON’S DIGNITY and CLASS – eBay

‘You are bidding on very elusive and now discarded pieces of Hillary Clinton’s character. According to media reports and her own campaign’s statements, Mrs. Clinton has apparently decided to severe all ties with her class and dignity after her loss in the Iowa primary.

Lucky for us, we were able to find this highly sought after item stuffed in a garbage can at Des Moines International Airport. Apparently, it was discarded minutes before the Clinton camp’s private jet whisked her out of Iowa.

This is truly a one of a kind piece of political memorabilia, as it has barely seen the light of day and it’s mere existence has been the subject of much debate for years.

Along with the class and dignity, you will also receive an 8×10 photo(copy) of a timeless portrait of Hillary with some of her biggest donors and supporters, including but not limited to Mr. Insurance Company, Mr. Drug Company, along with Mr. and Mrs. Ceo of Wall Street.

Good Bidding…and free shipping, too!’


Tuesday, February 5, 2008

 

Dog fart in a jar on eBay

‘My dog makes the stinkiest farts every know to mankind. They have been known to make people run and bugs to pass out. We have managed to trap one of them in a jar and will send it to the highest bidder. If you have a way to get it to Iraq you could possibly end the war or make Bin Lauden come out of hiding!’


Thursday, December 20, 2007

 

Drive Someone Insane with Postcards

‘You are bidding on a rare chance to traumatize a treasured friend or relative with baffling, mind-numbing, mystery correspondence from abroad.

Here is the arrangement:

I will be spending the Christmas holiday in Poland in a tiny village that has one church with no bell because angry Germans stole it. Aside from vodka, there is not a lot for me to do.

During the course of my holiday I will send three postcards to one person of your choosing.

These postcards will be rant-ravingly insane, yet they will be peppered with unmistakable personal details about the addressee. Details you will provide me.

The postcards will not be coherently signed, leaving your mark confused, guessing wildly, crying out in anguish.’


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Thursday, September 20, 2007

 

eBay halts sale of Belgium

‘Internet auction website eBay today withdrew an unusual second-hand sale item, the country of Belgium, which had attracted an offer of 10 million euros ($A16.68 million).

“Belgium, a kingdom in three parts” was posted on the Belgian eBay site as offering “plenty of choice” despite the caveat that it comes with “300 billion of National Debt”.

Offered in three parts – Flanders, Brussels and Wallonia – the accompanying blurb said the kingdom “can be bought as a whole (not recommended)”.

The vendor also included as added extras “the king and his court (costs not included)”.

EBay spokesman Peter Burin said the site could not host the sale of anything virtual or “unrealistic”, the Belga news agency reported.’


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Saturday, August 11, 2007

 

Christ-like smudge on garage floor fetches $1,525 online

‘A smudge of driveway sealant resembling the face of Jesus Christ has fetched more than $1,500 in an online auction.

The family that found the image on its garage floor sold it for $1,525.69 on eBay Wednesday, more than a week after the slab of concrete was put on sale.

“I really never thought I’d get any, to be honest,” said Deb Serio, a high school teacher.’


Monday, July 23, 2007

 

Woman Finds Jesus In Her Cooking Pot

(1.4meg Flash video)

see it here »


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Sunday, July 22, 2007

 

Boy gets £44,000 in eBay parcel

‘Police are trying to trace the owner of 65,400 euros (£44,000) mistakenly sent to a 16-year-old boy who bought a Playstation Two for £95 on eBay.

The cash arrived in a box at the house in Aylsham, Norfolk, with the games console, but minus two games.

Police are holding the money under the Proceeds of Crime Act while the matter is investigated.

An eBay spokesman said the parcel’s contents were “somewhat unusual” and it would help police with their inquiries. [..]

But, if the money remains unclaimed the family could potentially apply for it to be returned to them under the Police Property Act.’


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Thursday, May 10, 2007

 

Drag Queen Discovers Human Skulls In Bucktown Apartment

‘Local artist and drag performer Jojo Baby thinks he’s fairly open minded, but what he saw inside a Wicker Park apartment this week blew him away.

Baby was at eBay seller Brian Sloan’s apartment to buy vintage mannequins for his studio, where he creates dolls and puppets.

But instead, Baby said he saw human skulls boiling inside Sloan’s apartment. [..]

Sloan has a law degree but makes a living selling various items on the Internet — including a batch of vintage mannequins that were on the steps of his back porch. Sloan said the skulls are imported legally, but police still confiscated them.’


Monday, March 12, 2007

 

Ted Haggard Massage Table

‘Own a piece of Ted Haggard history from Mike Jones.

The table where it all happened.

Table is about 10 years old with a few tears but totaly usable.

Will autograph table if requested and in June an autographed book “I Had To Say Something” by Mike Jones will be sent.

All proceeds benefit ‘Project Angel Heart’, who provides people living with HIV/AIDS, cancer and other life-threatening illnesses nutritious home-delivered meals.’

more at the wiki.


Saturday, February 24, 2007

 

Lisa Nowak NASA Astronaut DIAPER left behind..RARE!

‘Contrary to popular belief, NASA Astronaut Lisa Nowak did actually make a couple of stops along the way on her journey from Houston, TX to Orlando, FL.

Up for bid is ONE of only a small handful of historic news media frenzy spawned memorabilia that we found “left behind” and that has come to be known as the Lisa Nowak NASA Astronaut DIAPER! It is clean and unused, and it can be YOURS if you are the lucky winning bidder.’

Followup to: Astronaut charged with attempted murder is released on bond


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Monday, February 19, 2007

 

Britney Spears Hair on eBay

Lots of people trying to sell her hair for lots of money.

This one is at $400k at the moment.


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Saturday, February 3, 2007

 

‘Hannibal’ penis stolen

‘A rubber penis and fake severed head have been stolen from the set of new horror film ‘Hannibal Rising’.

The movie’s director Peter Webber revealed the theft and is convinced the guilty party is planning on selling them.

He said: “There’s a character called Dortlich whose head is severed during the course of the movie. It was stolen by someone. There’s also a scene with a body that Hannibal Lecter is working on. It’s a full-size replica human body, including the genitals. Somebody took the genitals – they had to cut them off. So someone somewhere has got a large rubber penis and a rubber head.”

Webber is going to check internet auction site eBay to see if they turn up.’


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Thursday, January 18, 2007

 

New Life for Sale!!

`Winning bidder will take ownership of my:

– Name
– Phone number
– All my possessions which includes the following
– Clothes,
– Roughly 300 CDs
– Surfboard
– Laptop (minus certain information with my discretion),
– Pushbike (Has wonky handlebars, may need some work)
– Books,
– Bed
– CD player
– Backpack
– Tennis racquets
– Golf Clubs(which you will have no idea how to use)
– Childhood photos
– Skateboard
– Nice lamp which your ex-girlfriend bought you.’


Monday, January 15, 2007

 

eBay user – iaintpayinyou

The feedback suits the user name. :)


Saturday, December 30, 2006

 

Paris Hilton Toilet Paper

`This is one roll of Paris Hilton toilet paper. Her picture is printed all through roll and is shrink wrapped. This would be a great gag gift.’


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Monday, October 16, 2006

 

M400X Skycar VTOL Prototype Aircraft

`Own the one and only prototype of the Moller M400 Skycar. This test vehicle has flown repeatedly and demonstrated its hover capabilities in over a dozen flights at the Moller International facilities in Davis, California. It is our intent to offer it for sale by auction on eBay to raise capital for the Company.

This is the Real Deal A working Flying Car prototype!’

At the time of posting, the auction is just above US$2mil and the reserve isn’t me. [sigh] Looks like I can’t afford it. :) [Unless lots of people start clicking AdSense links. :)]


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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

 

Three-year-old buys car on eBay

`Jack Neal briefly became the proud owner of a pink convertible after he managed to buy it for $US17,000 on the Internet, despite being only three-years-old.

Jack’s mother Rachel Neal says she left her password for the eBay auction site in her computer and her son used the ‘buy it now’ option to complete the purchase.

“Jack’s a whiz on the PC and just pressed all the right buttons,” she said.’


Wednesday, June 28, 2006

 

The 10 Weirdest Things Ever Sold On eBay

`Perhaps you’ve heard stories of people auctioning off strange items on eBay, like the homely kid who put his virginity up for bid or the bald guys who offer their own heads as advertising space. But those are nothing compared to some of the items that have made their way onto eBay’s digital auction block.

Here are ten of the weirdest things ever to appear on eBay. To qualify for this list, the item or items must have received at least one bid, proving the point that no matter what you have to sell, somewhere there is a buyer for it.’


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Saturday, May 13, 2006

 

Online auction site eBay rules that New Zealand not for sale

`New Zealand is not for sale, despite somebody in neighboring Australia trying to offload the nation of 4 million to the highest online bidder.

With a starting offer of just one cent, brisk bidding for the prime chunk of South Pacific real estate quickly boosted the price to 3,000 Australian dollars (US$2,330) before eBay pulled the plug on the auction this week.

“Clearly New Zealand is not for sale,” eBay Australia spokesman Daniel Feiler told the New Zealand Press Association, adding that 22 bids had been made before the company acted.’


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Monday, May 8, 2006

 

Titan 1 ICBM Missile Base

`Located about 1 1/2 hrs from Spokane, 4 hrs. from Seattle, 5 hrs. from Portland.

360 Degree Views. Private water system. High Power lines on sight.

Hardened buildings built to withstand One megaton nuclear blast within three thousand feet!!

Wall thicknesses up to fourteen feet.

Three 155′ tall missile silos.

A dozen other large to huge buildings underground.

Thousands of feet of connecting tunnels.’


Sunday, April 9, 2006

 

Deluxe Fur 100% Mink Penis Muffler

`ONE OF A KIND ITEM. FOR THE MAN WHO THOUGHT HE HAD ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. GUARANTEED TO BE THE ONLY ONE IN EXISTENCE. WILL KEEP YOU WARM & TOASTY. WITH 1 DAY TILL THE OLYMPICS OPENING CEREMONY I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW SO MANY OF YOU CAN LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF CRAFTSMANSHIP & INGENUITY TO PROTECT SOMETHING SO VITAL…’


Tuesday, April 4, 2006

 

Man flogs wife’s box on eBay

`You know how it is: you’ve got a 30-inch cock but your wife’s box is only six inches. The only intelligent solution is to offer the box for sale on eBay, as this Wisconsin vendor attempted to do [..]‘

eBay apparently keeps pulling the auction because it contains profanity, but the latest attempt is here: I’m selling my wife’s box 3rd try w/can no profanity!!

`I’m selling my wife’s box, I tried to before but ebay pulled it. I’m selling her box because as you can see from the pictures, my cock doesn’t fit in her box. If I try and shove it in any further I will tear her box and she doesn’t want that. We have tried in the past to get rid of her box but have had no luck. She gave her box to the neighbor twice, but he returned it. Then she tried to give it to the mailman, but he said he rather have my cock. Please help us out. I will ship her box to anywhere in the world. I will only charge up to actual shipping cost. My cock is only pictured as a reference and not included. The box measures about 6 inches tall and 4 3/4 inches wide and deep.’

He’s throwing in her can aswell now, because the head of his cock won’t fit into the hole of her can.


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Thursday, March 30, 2006

 

Enigma 3 Walzen Chiffriermaschine Chiper Weltkrieg 1941

`Fine example of a WW II Enigma cipher machine in a very good condition and a great history; full functional. Year of construction 1941 by Manufacturer Chiffriermaschinen Gesellschaft Heimsoeth and Rinke, Berlin. The Enigma machine is placed in an oak woodwork case. Three high-quality, all-metal, matched rotors and an Umkehrwalze B. The rotors are continuous numbered; serial numbers has been removed. There are two spare rotors in an additional small wooden box. Plug board is lettered QWERTZU, wheels numbered 1-26. 100% Original!!! No Copy!!’


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Friday, February 10, 2006

 

Jesus PanCake

`I made a Pancake and it has the image of Jesus on it!!!

See for yourself!’

One bid for $500 so far.


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Friday, January 27, 2006

 

STOLEN THEFT Apple Powerbook 17 Inch

An interesting use of eBay.

Some poor cunts are no doubt shitting themselves at the moment, waiting for the police to arrive.

Update: The auction is no longer listed on eBay, but Google has a cached version.


Thursday, January 19, 2006

 

Collectable Ten Little Nigger Boys Sticker Book

`Smashing, (but not totally P.C. nowadays!) 10 Little Nigger Boys sticker book.

It would have originally come with a sheet 48 sticky back pictures to stick on the relevant pages. These have all been stuck in the book correctly so the book is complete.

It is in good condition for its age.’


Thursday, December 22, 2005

 

FULL SIZE STUFFED ANTIQUE AUTHENTIC HORSE TAXIDERMY

`This is a full-sized, authentic stuffed horse. Real animal hair, hooves, mane, tail. Stuffed in a very unusual position. Measures approximately 60″ x 36″ x 75″ Free standing, doesn’t need pedestal. Old style taxidermy, not done anymore. Highly unusual prop for stage or theatre, wonderful gift for horse-lover, conversation piece for living room, unique and rare. Chestnut color, black mane and tail. Front right leg is missing, approximately 3″. Some tears in skin – approximately 5-10, no longer than 1″. Two tears in back, approx. 8″. More pictures on request. Contact seller for shipping fees.’

“very unusual position” could be an understatement.


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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

 

HIP REPLACEMENT/WORKING LIKE NEW

`THIS IS AN ESTATE ITEM.IT WAS INSTAULLED AND REMOVED AND IS IN GREAT SHAPE..WHO KNOWS I MIGHT NEED IT IN 20 YEARS..LOL’


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Friday, December 16, 2005

 

Used Candy Underwear from Christmas Party

`A wonderous Office Christmas party last night and I woke up with these on me. My work collegues tell me Sam, the office token Aussie, bought them for me as a secret santa present, but I cannot confirm this. By all accounts I wore these all night, while various members of staff nibbled at them. As you can see from the photos, there are lots of sweeties left. They are in perfect working order and I have them on now.’


Wednesday, December 14, 2005

 

DKNY Men’s Leather Pants I Unfortunately Own

`I have not worn these leather pants for the following reasons:

I am not a member of Queen.
I do not like motorcycles.
I am not Rod Stewart.
I am not French.
I do not cruise for transvestites in an expensive sports car.

These were not cheap leather pants. They are Donna Karan leather pants. Theyre for men. Brave men, I would think. Perhaps tattooed, pierced men. In fact, Ill go so far as to say you either have to be very tough, very gay, or very famous to wear these pants and get away with it. [..]

They are size 34×34. I am no longer size 34×34, so even were I to suddenly decide I was a famous gay biker I would not be able to wear these pants. These pants are destined for someone else. For reasons unknown – perhaps to keep my options open, in case I wanted to become a pirate – I have shuffled these unworn pants from house to house, closet to closet. Alas, it is now time to part ways so that I may use the extra room for any rhinestone-studded jeans I may purchase in the future.’


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