‘One man has attacked a police officer with a dildo at the Bathurst 1000 motor racing event while another man has been caught wheeling around a television set showing porn.
And both have been thrown out of the the major annual racing event, police say.
A 22-year-old Moss Vale man was arrested shortly after 10pm (AEDT) yesterday after launching himself at a male police officer sitting inside a police car, hitting him on the head with a sex toy.
The officer was not hurt, but the man has been charged with assaulting police.’
We’re a classy bunch of people. 
It was a five year mission to seek out new life and civilisations..
see it here »
‘Wash’s Sweater (aka Big Damn Sweater and The Washburne) is a project of Big Damn Knitters, the Ravelry group for fans of the TV series Firefly and the spin-off movie Serenity.
The goal was to recreate a sweater worn by the character Wash in two of the series episodes — “Out of Gas” and “The Message.”
Variations of the cable pattern were created by Laura Wilson-Martos and Margaret (Maggs) Kailhofer. Maggs’ pattern in particular provided the basis for this pattern.’
Ken Lee.. tulibu dibu douchoo..
(2.9meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘I originally wrote this story as a reply in one of those “funny drinking stories” threads a couple of months ago. It is a very embarrassing story about me when I was a stupid teenager, not that much different from a lot of people’s drinking stories, but with a twist of lemon. Lots of people seemed to like it, so I thought I would illustrate and narrate the story in its own thread for maximum hilarity.
This all happened when I was 18 years old. I had dropped out of highschool twice by this point, ditched a lot of my friends because I was a selfish idiot and generally didn’t give a gently caress about anything. I hardly ever ate anything and was skinny as gently caress, showered maybe once every three days, took a poo poo load of drugs and smoked like a chimney. I didn’t have any prospects for the future. I just followed every impulse I had. I stole hundreds of dollars of stuff from the gas station I worked at. I stole poo poo from my parents. I shop lifted. I’m sure lots of people have been through a phase like this and I feel very sorry for all of you.’
‘Left to its own devices, TATP can decompose to oxygen or ozone and acetone. However, TATP is so unstable that it can spontaneously explode in an unpredictable and catastrophic manner.
TATP is especially dangerous because it is constrained in a ring like structure, the carbon and methane groups which are shown in gray and white in the images below do not allow for the elimination of the unstable extra oxygen atoms and the retention of the ring like structure at the same time. When the rings of TATP fall apart the rearrangement is necessarily wholesale and dramatic.
The mixing solvents like acetone and peroxides like hydrogen peroxide happens mistakenly on occasion in laboratories. On this occasional basis the inherent and dangerous instability of TATP is rediscovered inadvertently and explosively in a refluxing vessel or a when a precipitate is being dried in an oven. If you work in a laboratory, be very careful when working with peroxides.’
‘If there was any doubt about the terrible threat that global warming poses to humanity, then it can now be dismissed - as this shocking photograph proves that climate change is turning icebergs into giant penises.
The cockberg was photographed by Andy Rouse* in the Bransfield Strait near Antarctica.
Experts now believe** that it is only a matter of time before an armada of penis-shaped chunks begin to break off the Antarctic ice floes, and then roam the oceans wreaking havoc and luring sailors to their doom.’
‘I’m making a gang. It’s going to be called the “Regulators.” It’s a popular name but I don’t know of any with that name in my area so I’m going to use it. You must live in downtown DC. You must be at least 5′8. You can be smaller but you have to prove yourself to join. You don’t have to get beat up to get initiated into the gank. You should have to be down for the cause. If you’re not loyal though, I will cock glock and lay you out. That’s real talk. [..]’
Mildly amusing sorta thing.
‘Two “modern day Ninjas” calling themselves Shinobi Warriors on a quest to rid the area of drug users and drug dealers have been put out of business by police.
On Wednesday at 2:35 a.m. police officers approached a car parked in the left lane of Route 46 east and found two Clifton men dressed in black claiming to be Ninjas. The men were wearing tactical vests and armed with knives in sheaths at their waists along with Ninja throwing knives, Chinese throwing stars, four-pointed tacks, swords, bows and arrows and nunchucks, said detective Capt. Robert Rowan.
The two men, Jesse Trojaniak, 19, and Tadieusz Tertkiewicz, 20, told police they were “modern day Ninjas” also called Shinobi Warriors on their way to deliver warning letters to known drug dealers and drug users to stop their “impure” activities. They told police they planned to leave the letters on the front doors of these individuals they had singled out.
Their weapons, Rowan said, were to be a precaution in case they were confronted by the drug dealers.
The officers located five envelopes decorated with red Chinese designs containing the letters to be delivered. Reports show the two men had already delivered one such letter to Tertkiewicz’ 16-year-old ex-girlfriend in Clifton. Police contacted the teen and her mother and alerted them to the situation. Tertkiewicz was charged with harassment, both were charged with weapons possession.’
‘A cat taking a nap on the roof of an ambulance woke to find itself going along on an emergency callout at speeds of up to 100km/h.
Chloe’s snooze ended in a hair-raising 13km trip from Port Douglas to Oak Beach in north Queensland with lights flashing and siren blaring all the way, The Cairns Post reported today.
Chloe’s owner and paramedic Myles White got a huge shock when an extremely distressed meow alerted him to a “goggle-eyed” cat sitting on the roof. [..]
“When I took her down, she was all fluffed up and her eyes were a bit blown out and she did a big ‘Help, get me off’ meow.”‘
‘Me: caucasian, white yoga capris and tan tank top
you: Latino, 5′8, in your twenties, sports jersey, short hair, mole on your face.
You might have been following me for a while, Mr. Perv, I don’t know - I was on the phone with my mother, venting about my roommate situation (we had to find a new one) and my job search (like, I need a job), when you snuck up behind me, and gently squeezed my ass. Not just the top of my ass, but kinda low, kinda close to my you-know-what, if you know what I mean.
You know, even my boyfriend needs permission to get that close, so having a perfect stranger attempt access so suddenly, so completely out of the blue, triggered my fight-or-flight response. And I *fight*. [..]’
(4.8 and 3.0meg Flash videos)
see it here »
Hooray for automatic profanity filters.
‘We’ve all done it. Someone asks for your phone number and you gladly give it, only to later realize you gave them one number out of order or something and they’re calling some random stranger now.
A UK police department did much the same thing, except instead of a phone number it was a website and instead of reaching some random guy they saw several random guys do some very adult oriented things to each other.
The police department in Sussex, a county in the South of England, was attempting to promote Operation Beat Sweep, a massive program aimed at helping end crime by tackling anti-social behaviour in the community.
To help promote the initiative they passed out leaflets on Operation Beat Sweep. The leaflets encouraged anybody who had further questions to visit the police website at www.sussexpolice.co.uk. There’s just one problem, the actual URL for Sussex Police is www.sussex.police.uk. The first URL, and the one the leaflet encouraged citizens to visit, is actually a hardcore gay porn site.’
‘the bathroom door was half-open, so i thought no one was using it, and i catch my gf standing legs spread on either side of the toilet — DROPPING TURDS! wtf!? right as she’s squeezing off a real long and heavy one, she says: “INCOMING!” and makes bomb-dropping noises. “captain! we’re under attack! we’ve been hit! fire in the hole!”
then she looks up at me, sort of sheepish and blushes and quickly assumes the “normal” position. “just a little game i sometimes play when i’m bored,” she says as she starts to wipe herself.
my jaw is still on the floor and i’m speechless. “whatever…..” i mumble as i head for the door. [..]’
Take off your shoes and suck me sexy..
(2.9meg Flash video)
see it here »
I assume they’re trying to raise money for retarded aeroplane pilots or something.
(2.6meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘This is something I put together myself..’
(3.6meg Flash video)
see it here »
Have a drumstick and your brain starts clickin’..
(1.4meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘I was twenty-one and barely a man when the horror came. It has stuck with me to this day, a dark spirit that looms over my shoulder whenever a quiet moment comes over me and leaves me free to think. The shape of the horror has been burned into my mind’s background noise. It has become something that I have to see the same way I have to see a purple after-image after I stare at a bright light source. As hard as it is to see some things, still other things are harder to unsee. God, how I wish I could.
What I saw in that five by five metal shack in the oil fields will follow me till my dying day.’
‘Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane has vowed to stop smoking marijuana - because it makes him too paranoid.
MacFarlane signed a GBP50 million deal with 20th Century Fox in May, in a move which will make him the highest-paid writer-producer in television - and he’s determined to increase his productivity by swearing off illegal drugs.
He says, “I don’t smoke much pot anymore. One of the last times I was stoned, I was convinced that I would die unless I kept moving my body.
“So I sat there, baked, waving my arms around like a crazy person.”‘
‘The moon was mistaken for a “bright, stationary” UFO which had been loitering for at least half an hour, by a confused local in South Wales who made a 999 call to the police.
Today officers released a transcript in order to highlight the time wasted by unnecessary 999 calls.
The bizzare conversation ran as follows: [..]’
‘Investigators and a grandmother are trying to make sense of a sign found posted in a New Braunfels neighborhood. Is it a joke or something more sinister?
There are plenty of signs at the pool you would expect to see - “No Lifeguard on Duty” and “No Diving.” But a woman who lives in the neighborhood didn’t expect to see a sign with the words “Pool’s Closed” - with the image of a black man - posted on the gate.
Isabelle and Nicholas Martinez are visiting their grandmother and love spending time at the pool. Mary Alice Altorfer says she’ll keep taking them there, despite the sign.
“This kind of stuff is old, and it’s ugly and tired,” says Altorfer. “It’s time for it to be buried.”
Altorfer says the pool wasn’t closed at all. She sensed the real message was racist and directed at her grandchildren.’
Broke Trek: 