‘A Territory man filmed himself speeding at 150km/h while masturbating at the wheel of his drug-laden car, a court heard.
His Holden SV6 was allegedly laden with 5kg of drugs, including two cannabis plants resting on the back seat, the court was told.
Brendon Alan Erhardt, 39, was granted bail so he could marry his girlfriend of six months before he goes to jail.
Prosecutor Sergeant Melinda Edwards said in court the father-of-three told police he “had masturbated while driving” just before he was stopped for speeding on the 130km/h stretch of the Stuart Hwy.
“(He) also video recorded himself masturbating while travelling at a speed of 150km/h.”
Sgt Edwards said Mr Erhardt — who was disqualified from driving — also told officers his act was “not dangerous” as the “only person he could hurt was himself”.’
‘A 19-year-old man dressed as a penis was arrested for disturbing a high school graduation today at the Saratoga Performing Arts Center.
Calvin Morett of 337 Pyramid Pine Estates allegedly interrupted the Saratoga Springs High School graduation by marching across SPAC’s stage in an inflatable 6-foot penis costume while diplomas were being given out, Saratoga Springs Police Sgt. Sean Briscoe said.
Morett purchased the full-body costume and sprayed parts of the 5,000 people in the crowd with Silly String, Briscoe said.
His motive? “He thought it would be funny,” Briscoe said. [..]
“Once I stopped laughing, he was pretty easy to catch because he was tripping on the lower portion of the costume,” said Briscoe, who made the arrest.’
‘even the magnums are too small for me, is there anywhere you can order bigger ones on line? they fit great on the shaft but it is way too tight around my ball sack and it squeezes my balls which is very uncomfortable.’
‘A man bitten on the penis by a deadly snake has told how he used a cold rum can to soothe the pain while he rang his mother to say a final goodbye.
“I thought I was gone,” Daryl Zutt said of his now notorious encounter with a brown snake during a roadside toilet stop in remote far north Queensland, The Cairns Post reported.
“I thought, ‘Maybe, this is it. Maybe, I’m gonna cark it’.”
The Cairns Post revealed details of the bizarre encounter two weeks ago but the identity of the victim remained unknown until Mr Zutt came forward to tell how the brown snake took a near-fatal swipe as he relieved himself.
“I squatted down … I reckon I must’ve nearly sat on his head,” he said.
“As soon as I felt it, I yelled.
“It really hurt. [..]’
Followup to Deadly snake bites man’s penis.
‘ Two teenagers who say they hijacked Comcast’s Web portal on Thursday also say they expect to be arrested for their actions.
“I wish I was a minor right now because this is going to be really bad,” 19-year-old “Defiant” told Wired’s Kevin Poulsen, who managed to get a one-hour phone interview with Defiant and his 18-year-old cohort “EBK.”
“I slept in my clothes, because the last time they came, I was in my underwear with my dong hanging out and shit,” Defiant said of a past raid.
On Thursday, Comcast’s portal was defaced, leaving some e-mail subscribers without service. On the site, the hackers referenced their group: “KRYOGENICS Defiant and EBK RoXed Comcast.”‘
‘A roadside toilet stop ended in pain, embarrassment and almost death for a tourist when a highly venomous snake bit the end of his penis.
The deadly brown snake slithered between his legs and lunged at his manhood as he crouched on a roadside near Laura, 300km northwest of Cairns, about a month ago.
Details of the incident only came to light yesterday after they were confirmed by a paramedic.
“It certainly had a swipe at him,” an ambulance spokesman said yesterday.
“But it didn’t envenomate him.
“As it came through it must have got a bit of a shock.”‘
Australia should make this into an advertising slogan to attract tourists. ‘Come to Australia. Our wildlife will bite you on the cock.’ Can’t fail. 
Have you got a better idea?
(832kB Flash video)
see it here »
‘Why dontcha come lick my tartar sauce off, bitch?’
This is the same fellow from Joe Rogan Vs Female Heckler
(7.2meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘Eight British Commandos have been flown home in disgrace for stripping naked and engaging in appalling behaviour in a Norwegian bar during an Arctic training exercise.
The men disgusted onlookers in the town of Harstad with a drunken game of “naked bar”.
After whipping off their clothes, they urinated on each other - splashing other customers and furniture - before slurring insults and abuse.
Furious senior officers ordered the soldiers, from the Army’s 59 Independent Commando Squadron Royal Engineers, back home to face disciplinary action.
“This is taken extremely seriously,” a Ministry of Defence official said. [..]
Harstad police spokesman Gair Pedersen said: “They were drunk and there was a problem in the bar but we are quite used to dealing with British soldiers like this.”‘
‘Tucson porn-proprietor Tyrone Henry wants you to know that blowing your load on the faces of blindfolded, underage girls who think they’re participating in a facial cream marketing study is not fraud or any other crime, no matter what the Arizona Court of Appeals said last month. He also wants you to know he was framed. [..]
In the summer of 2000, Roach was assigned to prosecute Tyrone Henry after two teenage girls said he lured them to his home to try out a product called “White Dew” facial cream he was developing. Instead of exfoliation, they said they got ejaculation.
The girls, 15 and 16 years old at the time, said Henry showed them examples of women with “clumpy” white cream on their faces and then blindfolded them. The girls said they heard heavy breathing and Henry say, “It’s coming,” and then felt a thick, warm substance applied to their faces. They said he took photos, paid them $10 a piece and convinced them to make follow-up appointments. Thinking about it later, they realized they’d been hoodwinked and called the police.
Roach admits the hardest part of the case was figuring out what charge he could hang on Henry. It wasn’t sexual assault because he didn’t touch the girls sexually, and they didn’t touch him. And it wasn’t indecent exposure because the girls were blindfolded. [..]
In the end, the only charge Roach could get to stick was “fraudulent scheme and artifice.” [..]’
‘A 21-year-old German man has been convicted of sending a photograph of his penis to an unknown woman via mobile phone, authorities said on Wednesday.
“We all had a bit of a laugh when we saw the thing,” said Christian Kropp, presiding judge at the court in the eastern town of Sondershausen.’
‘Dude! That’s disgusting!’
(4.2meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘A 24-year-old American man is suing a Burger King restaurant - claiming he found a condom in his Whopper.
Van Miguel Hartless alleges he bit into the burger and found the unwrapped contraceptive under a piece of lettuce.
“My third bite into the burger, it was just a foreign taste,” he said. “It was a very sour, bitter sort of taste. It almost had a numbing sensation.
“As I went to bite down a little harder, I felt a rubber grind in between my teeth. I saw it half in my mouth, half hanging out.
“It was an immediate sick-to-my-stomach type of thing.”‘
‘A middle-aged man was beaten up by his drinking buddies after being caught gratifying himself in front of school children camping at a popular Manawatu reserve.
The unemployed man, 48, from Palmerston North, suffered a “substantial” head injury and was admitted to Palmerston North Hospital.
Police have since arrested and charged him with committing an indecent act. [..]
The offender was seen sitting and watching a number of teenage girls camping at the site, along with children from Dannevirke Primary School, for nearly an hour.
He is then alleged to have stood up, exposed himself and performed an indecent act in plain view of all present.
“His associates, who he had been drinking with since before lunch time, obviously didn’t approve of his behaviour and they’ve dealt to him themselves, giving him a pretty nasty head injury,” Ms Ross said.’
‘A surgery meant to reverse a colostomy on a Dover man went horribly wrong last year, resulting in fecal mater being discharged from his penis and urine passing through his colon, according to a lawsuit filed in Superior Court.
During the procedure, the suit alleges doctors at Kent General Hospital improperly stapled the colon to the bladder instead of the rectal stump. This left the patient with diarrhea, as well as gas and liquid stool passing from his penis.
The man was taken to Christiana Hospital 12 days later to have the procedure corrected, but not until after much suffering and embarrassment as well as “disfigurement and disability,” the suit claims. It also affected life at home with his wife, who also is suing the three doctors involved in the allegedly botched procedure, Surgical Associates P.A. and Bayhealth Medical Center Inc.’
‘A German flasher stunned lawyers during his appeal hearing on a flashing conviction by stripping off in court, authorities said.
“The court withdrew for deliberations and during the adjournment the man removed his clothes again,” said a spokesman for the court in the western city of Duisburg. “It appears he sees it as art, and views himself as a living work of art.”
The 60-year-old was in court to appeal against his conviction for running onto the pitch naked during a girl’s soccer match and striking a range of “body builder poses”, the spokesman said.
State prosecutors filed fresh charges of indecent behaviour against the man after the court incident.’
‘<third_planet> The other night my friend had some pot and wanted me to smoke it with him, but we had nowhere to smoke it because both our parents were home.
<third-planet> So we drove around looking for a place to park so we could smoke in the car.
<third-planet> We eventually settled on a Wendys parking lot..
see it here »
‘Salt Lake police say even a taser wasn’t enough to subdue a man who was wandering naked at a Super 8 Motel.
Employees called police when Michael Ellis repeatedly exited his room naked.
When officers arrived, Ellis refused to cooperate and resisted arrest. Police say they tasered him, struck him with batons, and then still had to wrestle him to the ground.’
‘The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures, according to a top scientist.
100,000 years into the future, sexual selection will mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed.
The alarming prediction comes from evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry from the London School of Economics, who says that the human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000.
These humans will be between 6ft and 7ft tall and they will live up to 120 years.
Men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises.’
‘<Richad34> Oy I had a bad night
<Richad34> I couldn’t sleep, and had no idea what to do. My parents are still awake, it was midnight, and I was bored.
<Richad34> So then I remembered that I had a drama presentation the next class and I played a rich guy so I needed a suit.
<Richad34> I take out my suit, and get dressed. You know, the works. I even took out my top hat and my cane.
<Richad34> Now it gets a little weird. I had to go downstairs in order to see how I looked as it’s the only place with a full body mirror. My parents sleep on the same floor as me so I didn’t want to wake them up.
<Richad34> So I got this idea. I decided to turn on my TV so that my parents thought people were talking outside, and my footsteps would be noises they were making. I thought it would work, I was tired.
see it here »
‘Nudity could be outlawed on the world’s tallest mountain complaints about the number of climbers attempting to reach its summit without clothes
Nepalese mountaineering authorities are reportedly outraged that people were ditching their clothes on Mount Everest, which is worshipped by some villagers.
President of Nepal Mountaineering Association Ang Tshering told AP that following last year’s record by a Nepali climber, who claimed the world’s highest display of nudity while standing on the 8,850m summit in temperatures about minus 10 degrees Celsius, restrictions should be implemented.
“There should be strict regulations to discourage such attempts by climbers,” Tshering said.’
A collection of 10 videos of people getting caught having a wank.
Some of them are pretty funny.
‘What the fuck are you doing with my exercise ball?’
‘An Croatian motorbike rider was knocked unconscious when lightning struck his penis during a roadside toilet break.
Metro.co.uk reported Ante Djindjic, 29, escaped relatively unscathed from the incident, suffering only light burns to his chest and arms.
He said: “I don’t remember what happened. One minute I was taking a leak and the next thing I knew I was in hospital.
“Doctors said the lightning went through my body and because I was wearing rubber boots it earthed itself through my penis.”
“Thankfully, the doctors said that there would be no lasting effects, and my penis will function normally eventually.”‘
‘I, [MY NAME], hereby pledge:
1. To never let grubby boys touch me – unless it’s just fun innocent stuff like tripping me and pulling my hair. (But only the hair on my head!)
2. To never wear trampy stuff like shorts or t-shirts or open-toed shoes, which basically tell horny perverts that I’m a major tramp who’s just asking for it.
3. To never do rough stuff like ride horsies or bikes with hard seats, which could break my vagina’s freshness seal and make me totally unlovable.
4. To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises.
5. To never have premarital sex, because Jesus doesn’t want anyone messing around inside my girly hole until after His church makes some money off a wedding.’
Why is there a box in the corner?
(1.1meg Flash video)
see it here »
‘Wayne and Kathie Boniface returned home from dinner Thursday night at a neighbor’s to find the man in their house. Wayne Boniface said the man made the mistake of grabbing his wife.
“As soon as he grabbed my wife, I had him in the kitchen wrestling him to the ground in a headlock and arm-lock,” Boniface said.
First, Boniface said, he ripped the man’s shirt off. Then, “his head was down over the railing, and in today’s world, pants are worn fairly loose. I pulled his pants, and his pants and underpants and shoes came completely off. He was completely nude.”
When police asked Boniface if he could identify the suspect, he said: “Oh, yeah. I believe he’s the only guy running nude in Duluth.”‘
‘An unidentified naked white man wearing a gas mask and standing outside was reported by two witnesses Thursday around 9:40 p.m. According to police, officers were called to 505 Centre St. for a report of a naked white man wearing a gas mask attempting to get into an apartment building.
A witness said that while driving on Centre Street, they saw a naked white man, approximately 30-years-old, around 6-feet-tall, weighing about 200 lbs., wearing a gas mask and standing in the common entrance of a building. The witness pulled his truck up and the man fled down an alleyway.
Another witness stated her doorbell rang and when she looked through the viewing hole of her front door, she also saw a white man with no clothes on wearing a gas mask. She told police she had no idea who the man was and did not open the door to her apartment.’
Exactly what the title says. I could write something more, but really, what is there to write?
‘Two men have been arrested for stealing a man’s clothes and leaving him to wander around naked, officials said. The victim, a 19-year-old Hazleton man, was taken by two men to a rural area west of Oelwein where the men took his clothes at gunpoint, officials with the Fayette County sheriff’s office said.
The investigation began after the sheriff’s office received a report of a naked man walking down a county road early Sunday morning.
Deputies searched an Oelwein home later in the day and found the victim’s clothes and several guns.’
‘For most of his life the Shetland pony, who has both male and female genitalia, was thought to be a mare and went by the name of Amy.
And to add to his confusion he has been taken into care, undergone a sex change operation and been re-homed - only to be shunned by his peers.
But now Tootsie - named after Dustin Hoffman’s cross-dressing character in the film of the same name - finally appears to be settling in at the Bransby Home of Rest for Horses, near Lincoln.
And he has found an unlikely friend - in stablemate Derek the donkey.’
