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Monday, December 24, 2007

 

Woman Stabbed Hubby for Opening Christmas Gift Early

‘A woman stabbed her husband with a kitchen knife following an argument that began when she accused him of opening a Christmas present early, authorities said Friday.

Misty Johnson, 34, was arrested and charged with aggravated assault and battery, a felony, and misdemeanor domestic battery. Her husband, Shawn Fay Johnson, 34, was treated at a hospital for a wound to the chest, police said. [..]

Authorities said Shawn Johnson called 911 just before 1 a.m. Wednesday to report that his wife had stabbed him. He told police that his wife started arguing with him over his opening a Christmas present, according to court records.

As the argument escalated, Misty Johnson accused her husband of having an affair, authorities said. Police found a marriage license in the couple’s apartment stating they were married in late September.

Police Detective David Thompson said he didn’t know what the present was, or if it was intended for the husband.’


Friday, December 21, 2007

 

Mall Santa sexually assaulted

‘The woman who sat on Santa’s lap was naughty, not nice.

Police say a woman has been charged with sexual assault after a Santa at the Danbury Fair mall in Danbury, Connecticut, complained the woman groped him.

Police did not give the name of the disconcerted Santa, but they said he is 65 and felt badly because children were waiting to see him.

Police quickly found and identified the suspect, described as a woman on crutches.’


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Friday, December 7, 2007

 

Kid Playing Video Games Gets Raped By A Dog

(1.4meg Flash video)

see it here »


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Sunday, December 2, 2007

 

How Could You Not Love This Town?

‘Cashier: How are you?

Customer: Do you want the honest answer?

Cashier: Yes.

Customer: I feel like the business end of a donkey. I am extremely hungover and did a mountain of cocaine last night. Now I have to make dinner for a 68-year-old gay artist who is trying to fuck me.

Cashier: I’m… sorry.

Customer: And the woman I love is in another state pregnant with her ex-boyfriend’s baby, and I wish the baby was mine. And I’m sleeping with a dominatrix. And it’s all true.’


language

Monday, November 26, 2007

 

Gropecunt Lane

‘Gropecunt Lane was a name used in English-speaking towns and cities in the Middle Ages for streets where prostitutes conducted their business. In most cases, the name would appear to derive directly from the words grope (sexual touching), and cunt (female genitalia). At one point there were streets of this name in many cities in Britain and Ireland, though in most cases later sensibilities changed the name to some more polite variation.

In London, the street that was Gropecunt Lane was near the present-day site of the Barbican Centre in the City of London. The street was called Grub Street in the 18th century, but renamed Milton Street in 1830. It is possible that the street known as Gropecunte Lane is now known as Threadneedle Street, however.’


Wednesday, November 21, 2007

 

Syphilis – Wikipedia

This is the wiki entry for Syphilis. Why, you ask? Because this small part of it amuses me greatly:

‘Until that time, as Fracastoro notes, syphilis had been called the “French disease” in Italy and Germany, and the “Italian disease” in France. In addition, the Dutch called it the “Spanish disease”, the Russians called it the “Polish disease”, the Turks called it the “Christian disease” or “Frank disease” (frengi) and the Tahitians called it the “British disease”.’

Also, the spiral shape of the organism is cool. That’s all. 🙂


Wednesday, November 7, 2007

 

Ethiopia tackles Aids with coffee-flavour condoms

‘Doctors have long argued about the health effects of coffee, but its reputation seems likely to receive a boost thanks to a flavoured condom that aims to encourage safer sex in Ethiopia.

Around 300,000 of the coffee condoms were sold in a week when they were launched in September, according to the US charity DKT International.

It hopes to tap into Ethiopia’s coffee mania as a means to tackle high rates of HIV in the country, which is said to have invented the drink.

The charity said that with 2.1% of Ethiopians infected with Aids – and more than 7% in the capital, Addis Ababa – the flavoured prophylactic was more than a novelty. “Everybody likes the flavour of coffee,” said a spokeswoman.’


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Copperfield Secret Document — How to Pick Up Chicks

‘TMZ has obtained portions of a secret document from David Copperfield’s shows, outlining in extreme detail how the magician’s assistants were supposed to rope in the women that David found attractive — and hold their boyfriends and husbands at bay.

The document, titled “Show Participation,” requires the people who work David’s shows to arm themselves with clipboards, a Polaroid camera, a digital camera, brochures of David’s islands in the Bahamas and “Blank photo(s) of David (if one of the girls is a scorpion).” “Scorpion” refers to women David brings onstage as part of his act.

The document describes how the assistants need to be heads-up for attractive women whom David can meet backstage after the performance. We’re told the plan is to keep boyfriends and husband in the arena, adding “from time to time, boyfriends and husbands will give us a hard time and refuse to stay. If that is the case, try your best to get them to stay and refer to the “What to Say” sheet for help.”‘


Man Busted for Hospital Necrophilia Act

‘A 24-year-old New York City man remains jailed after he was found allegedly having sex with a 92-year-old woman’s corpse inside the morgue of the hospital where he worked.

Anthony Merino, who works as a lab technician at Holy Name Hospital in Teaneck, N.J., was arrested Sunday after police responded to a call from a security guard at the hospital. The guard reported witnessing the lab technician sexually desecrating the woman’s dead body, according to police.

“This is a first,” Lt. Dean Kazinci, spokesman for the Teaneck, N.J., police, told ABC News. “When you think you’ve heard and seen it all, something like this happens.”‘


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Mother who shaved her daughter’s head and pierced her genitalia acquitted

‘A U.S. woman who decided to pierce her 13-year-old daughter’s genitalia to protect her from early sex life was acquitted of aggravated child abuse. The girl, now 16 years of age, testified at court that her mother was trying to protect her. In 2004 the woman asked her male friend to shave the girl’s head to make her unattractive to boys. Afterwards, the woman apparently thought that it was not enough and decided to forcefully pierce the girl’s genitalia. [..]

“She was trying to protect me, but it hurt me,” the girl testified earlier this week. “It not only hurt me physically, but it hurt me mentally. … That’s emotionally scarring. That’s physical abuse.” Prosecutors said the mother called on a friend to shave the girl’s head and do the piercing after realizing that she had been having sex, including with the mother’s boyfriend.

Defense attorneys told jurors that the mother had trouble with her rebellious daughter and that the girl agreed to the piercing to help rebuild her mother’s trust. Child welfare officials were called after the girl became infected from the piercing.’


Big Brother horror show

‘The sight of a blind-drunk young woman being assaulted by a Big Brother housemate in what may be the most public rape ever has turned the stomachs of millions of television viewers.

[..] Bezuidenhout lay down next to the comatose young woman and penetrated her vagina with his fingers. He carried on despite the pleas of another female housemate for him stop. Under the law in South Africa – where, on average, a woman is sexually assaulted every 40 seconds – such an act constitutes rape.

Bezuidenhout, who is married, finally desisted and went off to sit by himself while drunkenly sniffing his fingers. At this point the producers of the show did intervene, sending paramedics into the house and cutting the live feed.

Bezuindehout, defending his sexual behaviour in a show that has featured copious nudity, recently told his housemates, “Well, this is Africa.”‘


news

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

 

Man simulated sex act on pavement

‘A teenager carried out a sex act and then simulated sex on a pavement after drinking a half bottle of vodka while on medication, a court has heard.

Steven Marshall, 18, of Woodstock Avenue, Galashiels, admitted the offence in his home street on 17 June.

Selkirk Sheriff Court heard he got into a press-up position on the pavement and started simulating sexual intercourse.

Sentence was deferred on Marshall, who takes medication for arthritis. He was put on the sex offenders register.’


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Monday, October 29, 2007

 

Man allegedly found with inflatable doll in public restroom

‘A man was arrested after a government agent allegedly found him in an office building restroom lying next to an inflatable, anatomically correct doll with his pants down.

Craig S. McCullough, 47, was charged Wednesday with indecent exposure, a misdemeanor. [..]

McCullough’s criminal record includes a 2004 conviction for burglarizing Just For Me bridal boutique. Shortly after the burglary, police officers found McCullough in a nearby alley, carrying a mannequin wearing a bridal dress.’


Friday, October 26, 2007

 

How To Respond To Pickup Lines

“Haven’t we met before?”
“Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.”

“So what do you do for a living?”
“I’m a female impersonator.”

“I’m here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy.”
“You mean you’ve got both a donkey and a Great Dane?”


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Human race will ‘split into two different species’

‘The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures, according to a top scientist.

100,000 years into the future, sexual selection will mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed.

The alarming prediction comes from evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry from the London School of Economics, who says that the human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000.

These humans will be between 6ft and 7ft tall and they will live up to 120 years.

Men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises.’


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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

 

Chlamydia reduces male fertility by ravaging sperm

‘Chlamydia – the most common sexually transmitted disease in the US and UK – causes dramatic genetic damage in sperm leading to male infertility, a new study suggests.

Men with chlamydia have more than three times the normal level of DNA fragmentation in their sperm, report researchers. However, results from the study also indicate that appropriate antibiotic treatment can help restore the genetic integrity of these men’s sperm as well as their fertility.

Until recently, doctors believed that chlamydia threatened women’s fertility only. The bacteria responsible for the disease, Chlamydia trachomatis can cause a woman’s fallopian tubes to become blocked or scarred, making it difficult or impossible to conceive a child.’


language

Monday, October 1, 2007

 

Shock at archbishop condom claim

‘The head of the Catholic Church in Mozambique has told the BBC he believes some European-made condoms are infected with HIV deliberately.

Maputo Archbishop Francisco Chimoio claimed some anti-retroviral drugs were also infected “in order to finish quickly the African people”.

The Catholic Church formally opposes any use of condoms, advising fidelity within marriage or sexual abstinence.

Aids activists have been angered by the remarks, one calling them “nonsense”.’


Man, 24, weds 82-year-old bride

‘A 24-year-old Argentine man has married a woman 58 years his senior.

The groom, Reinaldo Waveqche, told reporters after the ceremony in Santa Fe, northern Argentina: “I’ve always liked mature ladies.”

Mr Waveqche added: “I don’t care what other people say.” He and bride Adelfa Volpes, 82, are planning to travel to Rio de Janeiro for their honeymoon.

Asked if the marriage was purely spiritual, Ms Volpes laughed and replied: “There is going to be more.”‘


Friday, September 28, 2007

 

Animal Shelter Worker Accused Of Sex With Dog

‘A volunteer worker at the Denver Municipal Animal Shelter has been suspended as a result of accusations that he engaged in sexual activity with a dog, a city spokeswoman confirmed Wednesday.

The alleged incident happened Saturday afternoon behind the building, and the man was partially naked when another shelter employee saw him.

The witness said Gustavo Castanon, 33, was having a bassett hound perform a sex act on him, according to a police report.’


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China bans ‘sexual sounds’ on TV

‘China has banned “sexually provocative sounds” on television and pulled the plug on a show reconstructing infamous crimes by women ahead of a major Communist Party meeting next month.

The order, issued by the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television, is the latest in a raft of measures which have included cancelling reality shows featuring sex changes and plastic surgery and banning talent contests during prime-time.

“Sexually suggestive advertisements and scenes showing how women are influenced into a life of crime are detrimental to society,” it said in a statement posted on its website, referring to its decision to axe Red Question Mark, a crime documentary.

“Commercials containing sexually provocative sounds or tantalizing language as well as vulgar advertisements for breast enhancement and female underwear are banned, effective immediately,” said the SARFT notice.’


Thursday, September 27, 2007

 

Bob Collins: the ugly truth

‘The man is dead. He can’t fight back. Nor could the children he pinned down and molested. Bob Collins was not killed by bowel cancer, as has been widely reported. He had beaten it – though there were complications after he had surgery in Adelaide. Collins is being eulogised as a great fighter for the north. But he did untold damage along the way.

When he had his way with boys, he was consumed by a sickness. But there can be no excuses for Collins. On the times he spoke up for the rights of children, he was the worst kind of hypocrite. And it must be remembered he was smart as a whip, being a minister in both the Bob Hawke and Paul Keating federal cabinets.

Collins was the first former or serving federal minister to be charged with child-sex offences. Police believe his preferred prey was Aboriginal boys, although white boys were not excluded.’


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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

 

Joke about mom leads to criminal investigation

‘A child’s joke about sleeping with another friend’s mother led to a child abuse investigation.

An investigator with the Department of Children and Family went to Destin Middle School on Sept. 19 to look into an allegation that a child had been having sex with an adult, according to an Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office report.

The investigation revealed that the story started during P.E. class while a few boys were joking around.

Upon questioning, one of the boys involved said he “made up the story about a friend having sex with (the) mother,” the report stated.

The case was ruled as unfounded.’


Monday, September 24, 2007

 

Anger over art showing Pope in sex pose

‘The Roman Catholic bishop of Ibiza has demanded that a collage depicting the late Pope John Paul II being sodomised be removed from an exhibit held at a former church on the Spanish holiday island.

The work is one of three collages by Ivo Hendriks that are part of a showcase of art by 15 Dutch artists with ties to Ibiza made over the last 50 years that opened on September 7 and is due to run until the end of the month.

The other two collages also depict religious figures in homosexual positions.

Bishop Vicente Juan Segura said the works “offended Catholic sentiment” and he called for their “immediate and urgent withdrawal”.’


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IRON HYMEN: Abstinence-Only Program for Girls

‘I, [MY NAME], hereby pledge:

1. To never let grubby boys touch me – unless it’s just fun innocent stuff like tripping me and pulling my hair. (But only the hair on my head!)

2. To never wear trampy stuff like shorts or t-shirts or open-toed shoes, which basically tell horny perverts that I’m a major tramp who’s just asking for it.

3. To never do rough stuff like ride horsies or bikes with hard seats, which could break my vagina’s freshness seal and make me totally unlovable.

4. To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises.

5. To never have premarital sex, because Jesus doesn’t want anyone messing around inside my girly hole until after His church makes some money off a wedding.’


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SUV Driver Blames Backseat Sex For Crash

‘A driver of a sport utility vehicle who hit a telephone pole blamed the crash on two friends having sex in the back seat.

Joshua D. Frank, 22, pleaded guilty this week to a misdemeanor charge of failing to notify a police officer of a traffic accident. [..]

According to court documents, Frank told police that his SUV is top heavy and the backseat action made it become “tippy,” causing him to lose control.

According to the affidavit, Frank suffered a minor head injury in the crash and his friends were treated for unspecified injuries.’


Marcia Brady’s lesbian sex romp with TV sister

‘Fans of hit ’70s sitcom The Brady Bunch have been shocked by claims clean-cut TV sisters Marcia and Jan were real-life lovers.

Actress Maureen McCormick, who played Marcia, has reportedly revealed the lesbian love affair in a tell-all autobiography. [..]

“The most explosive comments will be how the then blonde, blue-eyed cutie developed a crush on Eve Plumb, which led to some sexual play,” a source told America’s National Enquirer magazine.

“This book will certainly come as a shocker. While Maureen is not a lesbian, she reveals there were some sexual high jinks going on behind the scenes.”‘


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Vacuum and toilet cleaner sex aid burglar avoids jail

‘A man who broke into his neighbour’s home west of Brisbane and used her vacuum cleaner and a detergent bottle as sex aids has avoided jail.
Jamie Thomas Lacey, 27, was high on LSD and amphetamines when he broke into the house at Millmerran in September 2004.

He pleaded guilty today in the Brisbane District Court to burglary and wilful damage.

The court was told his neighbour returned home on September 29 to find her bathroom in a total state of disarray.

Crown prosecutor Julie Aylward told the court pornographic magazines and clothes were strewn around the room, and that a makeshift sex aid constructed from a Toilet Duck bottle, a piece of wood and a latex glove had also been left behind.’


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Boy, 6, accused of sex abuse

‘The Education Department has investigated claims a six-year-old student ran a “sex club” at an eastern suburban primary school, involving up to up to half a dozen grade 1 students.

One mother said her son, also six, was asked to perform a sex act, and that the alleged perpetrator also exposed his genitals to students.

Following an investigation, the department has admitted that the student exposed students to sexual conversations and proposed activities, but denied the existence of a “sex club”. The alleged perpetrator received counselling.

The mother has been unable to make a police report because the law states sexual assault by a child under 10 cannot be prosecuted.’


language

Thursday, September 20, 2007

 

Site of sex sting flush with tourists

‘When tourists ask for the bathroom in the Minneapolis airport lately, it’s usually not because they have to go.

It’s because they want to see the stall made famous by U.S. Sen. Larry Craig’s arrest in a sex sting.

”It’s become a tourist attraction,” said Karen Evans of the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. ”People are taking pictures.”

Craig was arrested June 11. The Idaho Republican pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct. He has since said his plea was a mistake. His request to withdraw the guilty plea will be heard Sept. 26, four days before he has said he will step down.’


The Cook, the Beast, the Vice and its Lover

‘A disgusting and twisted restaurant in the Tokyo entertainment district of Roppongi is enticing warped rich folk with the opportunity to figuratively have their cake and eat it, too — with animals, according to Jitsuwa Knuckles (9/25).

Roppongi’s bestiality restaurant is being regarded by its main nouveau riche patronage of young company presidents and venture capitalists as a decadent practice only possible among the wealthy.

“Apparently, the restaurant started off quietly in the basement of a building that a real estate agent in Roppongi who couldn’t find any other tenants,” an S&M club worker identified only as M tells Jitsuwa Knuckles. “News about the restaurant spread through word of mouth and it became popular.”

M says she visited the members-only restaurant about half a year ago after being invited there by one of her regulars, a well-heeled lawyer.’