‘The cab of Paul Goncalves’ truck looks more like a hospital room than the helm of a mighty 18-wheeler.
It even caught the attention of Montreal police earlier this week, as Goncalves, a transport-truck driver who lives in Kitchener, made his way through Quebec.
Goncalves says he has no choice: It’s the only way he can keep a close eye on the toddler at the end of a length of intravenous tubing and a bag of life-saving solution.
“I’ll tell you, life has been so miserable,” Goncalves said Tuesday after carefully dressing a shunt that drains liquid from the brain of his constant passenger — his two-year-old son, Pauly. Pauly was born with hydrocephalus, an accumulation of spinal fluid on the brain. Doctors recently removed a brain cyst. In his short life, Pauly has had five brain operations.’
‘A manhunt is under way in western Germany for a convicted drug dealer who escaped by mailing himself out of jail.
The 42-year-old Turkish citizen - who was serving a seven-year sentence - had been making stationery with other prisoners destined for the shops.
At the end of his shift, the inmate climbed into a cardboard box and was taken out of prison by express courier. His whereabouts are still unknown.
The chief warden of the jail told the BBC this was an embarrassing incident.’
‘A baby from Oregon who disappeared from her bed was found safe several hours later under the floorboards of her grandparents’ home.
Kate Higgins, 1, vanished from her bedroom in Woodburn, Ore., late Sunday night, according to KPTV-TV, the FOX affiliate in Portland, Ore.
Her father, Lawrence Higgins Jr., told police he fell asleep in a room at his parents’ house at about 10:30 p.m. with Kate and his two other children, ages 5 and 3. He awoke at around 5 a.m. to discover Kate had disappeared, the station said.
“We were like, ‘She couldn’t have went anywhere. She can’t walk,’” Kate’s uncle, Tim Higgins, told the station. “‘She’s gotta be here unless somebody came in and took her.’”‘
‘Behavior of young children in a situation simulating entrapment in refrigerators was studied in order to develop standards for inside releasing devices, in accordance with Public Law 930 of the 84th Congress.
Using a specially designed enclosure, 201 children 2 to 5 years of age took part in tests in which six devices were used, including two developed in the course of this experiment as the result of observation of behavior.
Success in escaping was dependent on the device, a child’s age and size and his behavior. It was also influenced by the educational level of the parents, a higher rate of success being associated with fewer years of education attained by mother and father combined. Three major types of behavior were observed: (1) inaction, with no effort or only slight effort to get out (24%); (2) purposeful effort to escape (39%); (3) violent action both directed toward escape and undirected (37%).’
‘With a fox locked onto her arm, an Arizona jogger ran a mile to her car, where she was able to dislodge the animal, throw it into the trunk and drive to a Prescott hospital. The Yavapai County Sheriff’s Office said the fox, which later attacked an animal control officer, tested positive for rabies.
The unidentified Chino Valley resident told deputies she was on a trail Monday at the base of Granite Mountain when the fox attacked, biting her foot. The woman said she grabbed it by the neck when it went for her leg and it latched onto her arm.
Thinking the fox was rabid, she wanted to make sure it didn’t get away so she ran to her car, where she was able to pry open its jaws, wrap it in a sweat shirt and toss it into the trunk.
The woman is receiving rabies vaccinations, as is the animal control officer.’
‘Police say a Michigan man has been arrested after “receiving sexual favors from a vacuum” at a car wash.
The Saginaw News reports the 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was arrested Thursday in Saginaw County’s Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.
Police Sgt. Gary Breidinger says a resident called to report suspicious activity at the car wash about 6:45 a.m. An officer approached on foot and caught the man in the act.’
‘A man who claims chemicals in his sofa caused a serious heart problem is to sue its supplier and manufacturer. [..]
Mr Green said he first suffered blisters, then breathing problems, followed by pneumonia and finally heart failure, which doctors have told him has left half his heart damaged.
“At first I just couldn’t catch my breath, I thought it was just a cold or flu, but it just escalated from there,” he said. [..]
He claims sachets of anti-mould fungicide placed under the sofa cushions to keep the leather fresh were responsible.
The sachets contained the chemical dimethyl fumarate.’
‘Families thought they were witnessing a miracle when wine flowed from their taps during a grape festival.
But it wasn’t down to divine intervention – just very bad plumbing.
Sparkling, chilled white wine should have been flowing into a marble fountain in the town square during the annual Marino grape festival on Sunday.
Instead it gushed out of kitchen taps in dozens of homes, to the delight of residents in the Italian hilltop town. The mayor, Adriano Palozzi, a priest and locals had all gathered round the fountain to give a prayer of thanks to the Virgin Mary. Everyone had a plastic beaker at the ready to drink a free glass or two of Marino DOC.
But they were left disappointed as, instead of fresh wine, out poured the usual water.’
‘One man has attacked a police officer with a dildo at the Bathurst 1000 motor racing event while another man has been caught wheeling around a television set showing porn.
And both have been thrown out of the the major annual racing event, police say.
A 22-year-old Moss Vale man was arrested shortly after 10pm (AEDT) yesterday after launching himself at a male police officer sitting inside a police car, hitting him on the head with a sex toy.
The officer was not hurt, but the man has been charged with assaulting police.’
We’re a classy bunch of people. 
‘A Middletown woman is arrested, after chasing children, urinating on a porch, and blocking traffic… all while wearing a cow suit.
Police say 32 year old Michelle Allen was chasing children in the 3100 block of Wilbraham, while wearing the cow costume early Monday evening. Allen also reportedly urinated on a neighbor’s front porch. An officer told Allen to go home and stay there for the remainder of the evening.
Police were later called to North Verity Avenue, where Allen was allegedly blocking traffic. The arresting officer says Allen smelled of alcohol, slurred her speech, and was belligerent. She also allegedly cussed at the officer.
Allen is charged with disorderly conduct.’
Soundtrack is a bit strange aswell.
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‘Wash’s Sweater (aka Big Damn Sweater and The Washburne) is a project of Big Damn Knitters, the Ravelry group for fans of the TV series Firefly and the spin-off movie Serenity.
The goal was to recreate a sweater worn by the character Wash in two of the series episodes — “Out of Gas” and “The Message.”
Variations of the cable pattern were created by Laura Wilson-Martos and Margaret (Maggs) Kailhofer. Maggs’ pattern in particular provided the basis for this pattern.’
‘Designed to study the beauty of decay.
4”x5” camera made from Aluminium, Titanium, Brass, Silver, Gem Stones and a 150 year old skull of a 13 year old girl. Light and time enters at the third eye, exposing the film in the middle of the skull.’
‘As if the mysteries of dark matter and dark energy weren’t vexing enough, another baffling cosmic puzzle has been discovered.
Patches of matter in the universe seem to be moving at very high speeds and in a uniform direction that can’t be explained by any of the known gravitational forces in the observable universe. Astronomers are calling the phenomenon “dark flow.”
The stuff that’s pulling this matter must be outside the observable universe, researchers conclude.’
‘This is a hamburger from McDonalds that I purchased in 1996.
That was 12 years ago.
Note that it looks exactly like it did the very day I bought it.
The flecks on the bun are crumbs from the bun.
The burger is starting to crumble a bit
It has the oddest smell.’
‘Doctors treating a 14 year old boy from India were shocked to find a 2cm long fish had “slipped” up his penis and into his bladder.
The patient, who was admitted to hospital with complaints of pain, dribbling urine and acute urinary retention spanning a 24-hour period, gave an interesting explanation.
Details of the case, which was documented in The Internet Journal of Urology, have revealed that the patient claimed that the fish “slipped” into his penis while he was maintaining his aquarium.’
‘Police in Somerset County are trying to figure out how a radio tower went missing in Windber. Police say a group of people had a very thorough plan to get all 120 feet of steel and copper down from the old Windber radio tower.
Police believe the thieves threw cables over the guidelines of the tower and yanked it down with a truck. Police also found cut bolts and torch marks on nearby grass. Police say the tower had to be cut into small pieces in order to get it out of the wooded area, but they can’t figure out how they did it without anybody noticing.
“There’s probably a half a dozen routes that come in and out of that area. At least 20 four-wheelers and ATV riders go through there a day,” said Paint Township Police Chief Rick Skiles.
The thieves also got away with a 300-pound Penelec transformer full of copper.’
‘Ok, this is going to sound odd, but the Starbucks near my house has like NO parking in the morning.
So, what I’m looking for is a girl who wants to crash out with me the night before, and then in the morning, ride in my car with me past the Starbucks, so I can have someone run in without me having to find parking.
I’ll pay for the Starbucks and up to one (1) baked item. No venti’s. You can leave a tip if the barista (or baristo) is worthy of one, but make sure to bring me the receipt.
I understand that we are human beings with needs, so if we should happen to let our bodies get the better of ourselves for hours and hours the night before, then there isn’t really much I can do about that, but seriously - this is about coffee - not wildly passionate, kinky, orgasm sessions, ok? OR if you could give me a good blow job while I play video games, that would be even better. [..]’
‘A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed food seasoning over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man on the face and head before running out of the house, Fresno County sheriff’s deputies said Saturday.
Lt. Ian Burrimond, describing the crime as one of the strangest he’s ever heard of, said a suspect was found hiding in a nearby field a few minutes later and taken into custody on suspicion of residential robbery.
Deputies, he said, had no problem linking the suspect to the crime.
“It seems the guy ran out of the house wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, leaving behind his wallet with his ID,” Burrimond said.’
‘Here’s an interesting conundrum involving nuclear decay rates.
We think that the decay rates of elements are constant regardless of the ambient conditions (except in a few special cases where beta decay can be influenced by powerful electric fields).
So that makes it hard to explain the curious periodic variations in the decay rates of silicon-32 and radium-226 observed by groups at the Brookhaven National Labs in the US and at the Physikalisch-Technische Bundesandstalt in Germany in the 1980s.
Today, the story gets even more puzzling. Jere Jenkins and pals at Purdue University in Indiana have re-analysed the raw data from these experiments and say that the modulations are synchronised with each other and with Earth’s distance from the sun. (Both groups, in acts of selfless dedication, measured the decay rates of siliocn-32 and radium-226 over a period of many years.)
In other words, there appears to be an annual variation in the decay rates of these elements.’
‘A cat taking a nap on the roof of an ambulance woke to find itself going along on an emergency callout at speeds of up to 100km/h.
Chloe’s snooze ended in a hair-raising 13km trip from Port Douglas to Oak Beach in north Queensland with lights flashing and siren blaring all the way, The Cairns Post reported today.
Chloe’s owner and paramedic Myles White got a huge shock when an extremely distressed meow alerted him to a “goggle-eyed” cat sitting on the roof. [..]
“When I took her down, she was all fluffed up and her eyes were a bit blown out and she did a big ‘Help, get me off’ meow.”‘
‘The bedridden woman, who weighs nearly half a ton - 1,000 pounds or over 71 stone - is accused of killing her two-year-old nephew.
A grand jury indicted Mayra Lizbeth Rosales, 27, on a charge of first degree murder on Thursday and ordered her bail be set at $150,000.
Hidalgo County District Attorney Rene Guerra Rosales told local television news he hoped to take the woman into custody as early as Friday but did not go into detail as to how this would be done.
Lupe Trevino, Hidalgo County Sheriff, said holding Rosales at the county jail for the duration of her trial would be impossible because she needs extensive medical care.
“She would die,” said Mr Trevino.’
‘German police have confiscated what may be the world’s fastest office chair. Police say officers happened on the contraption - the work of two inventive 17-year-olds - in the western town of Gross-Zimmern on Saturday.
The pair had added a lawnmower engine, bicycle brakes and a metal frame to the revolving chair - making into a go-kart-like vehicle.
Police said in a statement Monday the inventors insisted they had only tested it over a few meters, but witnesses reported seeing it on several streets.
They are being investigated over a variety of possible offenses, including defying insurance regulations, driving without a license and violating registration requirements.
Police did not say what top speed the chair could reach.’
‘Organisers of the Beijing Olympics have taken the fight against ambush marketing to a new level, covering up the tiny brand stamps on fixtures at all venues including those found on bathroom fittings such as urinals and toilet roll holders.
In the Main Press Centre on the Olympic Green that is home to 5600 accredited news and photographic journalists, tiny, shiny stickers have been applied to every basin, urinal, toilet, soap and paper towel dispenser, toilet roll holder and automatic hand drier.
The same goes for fixtures used in the official media villages and all of the off site Olympic venues, including those which were not purpose-built for the Games.
In some cases, the cover-up extends to the brand signage found inside the rim of the toilet.’
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‘Meet Gordon, probably the world’s first robot controlled exclusively by living brain tissue.
Created from cultured rat neurons, Gordon’s primitive grey matter was designed at the UK’s University of Reading by scientists who unveiled the neuron-powered machine yesterday.
Their groundbreaking experiments explore the vanishing boundary between natural and artificial intelligence, and could shed light on the basic building blocks of memory and learning, a lead researcher said.
“The purpose is to figure out how memories are stored in a biological brain,” said Kevin Warwick, a professor at the University of Reading and one of the robot’s principle architects.’
‘the bathroom door was half-open, so i thought no one was using it, and i catch my gf standing legs spread on either side of the toilet — DROPPING TURDS! wtf!? right as she’s squeezing off a real long and heavy one, she says: “INCOMING!” and makes bomb-dropping noises. “captain! we’re under attack! we’ve been hit! fire in the hole!”
then she looks up at me, sort of sheepish and blushes and quickly assumes the “normal” position. “just a little game i sometimes play when i’m bored,” she says as she starts to wipe herself.
my jaw is still on the floor and i’m speechless. “whatever…..” i mumble as i head for the door. [..]’
‘A scriptwriter in Hollywood has become the first person to order a commercial firm to clone a pet. Bernann McKinney paid a Korean company US $50,000 for five copies of Booger – her beloved pit bull terrier who died recently.
The lab used ear tissue from the diseased dog to re-create Booger. The five puppies were born from two surrogate mothers in late June, according to Britain’s Daily Mail newspaper. [..]
McKinney became deeply attached to Booger after it allegedly saved her life by chasing off a ferocious mastiff. [..]
Ra Jeong-Chang is the CEO of RNL Bio - the company that did the cloning for McKinney. He said his next project will be cloning camels for Middle East sheikhs.’
Charlie Bit Me: 
