Posts tagged as: stupid

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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

 

Police issue paedophile warning over ‘Pedobear’ internet joke

‘Police in the US have issued a bizarre warning to parents about a ‘paedophile’ cartoon bear that was created by a website as in internet joke. [..]

Now police in San Luis Obispo in California appear to have misunderstood the internet trend – or meme – and have warned parents that the Pedobear is being used by real paedophiles as a ‘mascot’.

In a po-faced newsletter that has made them the laughing stock of the internet, the Sheriff’s department has warned parents that some paedophiles are even dressing as the bear to signal their intentions.

The handout describes the bear’s ‘licentious love of little girls’ and warns that the character may be ‘lurking’ at family-friendly events. [..]

After being contacted by website Gawker, the San Luis Obispo police department has claimed that it has always known that Pedobear is just a joke but wanted to warn parents anyway.’


careers

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

 

Vile paedophiles tried to prey on each other as they searched for victims on internet

‘Two paedophiles went looking for victims on the internet – and ended up trying to prey on each other.

One of the perverts, school support worker Brian Syme, posed as a teenage girl called “Nikki D” to lure young boys.

And the other, student monster Andrew Byrne, mistook the tubby 32-year-old for a child he could abuse.

But Byrne, who groomed 250 children and molested a string of youngsters, was stunned when his “victim” became “sexually aggressive” and demanded explicit pictures of him.

He was so surprised that he asked his target: “Are you sure you’re a girl?”

Both perverts are now in jail and Byrne is considered such a threat to children that he will be supervised for the rest of his life.’


Friday, August 27, 2010

 

Mortgage worker got drunk, shot computer server

‘A Salt Lake City mortgage company employee allegedly got drunk, opened fired on his firm’s computer server with a .45-caliber automatic, and then told police someone had stolen his gun and caused the damage. [..]

However, investigators allege that Campbell had been drinking that night at the Twilight Concert in Pioneer Park with a co-worker and had returned to his office afterward and shot the server.

A probable cause statement alleges that Campbell told police he had been “mugged, assaulted with his own firearm and drugged” by a mystery assailant.

However, acquaintances of Campbell reportedly told police he had earlier been drunk, was armed and had threatened to shoot the computer and maybe himself.’


mail

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

 

Truck driver dies staging phony accident

‘A man who died near downtown when he jumped from the cab of his moving 18-wheeler was apparently trying to stage a wreck early Tuesday morning to collect from his insurance company, Houston police said. [..]

The victim, whose name has not been released, had head injuries. No other injuries were reported.

Police said the man’s business partner told investigators the trucker was staging an accident to file a fraudulent claim with his insurance company. [..]

The truck was traveling at about 50 mph, police said. The driver was alone in the cab and was not pulling a trailer.’


tour

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

 

Man claims cow seduced him for sex

‘An 18-year-old Indonesian man says he was seduced by a cow, and that’s why he was having sex with it.

A neighbour caught Gusti Ngurah Alit allegedly wooing the farm animal on Sunday, the village chief on the resort island of Bali said, the Times newspaper in Johannesburg, South Africa reported Friday.

“He was caught by one of the residents standing naked while holding the back of the cow,” village chief Embang Ida Bagus Legawa said in the newspaper.

Alit said he didn’t see an animal, he saw a beautiful young woman.

“She called my name and seduced me, so I had sex with her,” the man told the newspaper.

Alit underwent a cleansing ritual. The village chief gave the owner of the cow the equivalent of $562.

The cow was reportedly drowned in the sea to rid the village of bad luck.’


notice

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

 

3 Boys Detained for Calif. ‘Ginger Day’ Attacks

‘Three boys were booked on suspicion of bullying or kicking red-haired students at a middle school when a ”Kick a Ginger Day” prank inspired by a ”South Park” episode got out of hand, authorities said Monday.

A 13-year-old boy was detained last week for investigation of threatening to inflict injury by means of electronic communication — essentially, cyberbullying. Two 12-year-olds were booked for battery on school property, Los Angeles County sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore said. [..]

Four girls and three boys reported that schoolmates shoved or kicked them on Nov. 20 at A.E. Wright Middle School in Calabasas, an affluent suburb of Los Angeles.

No serious injuries were reported. Most incidents involved a single person kicking a student’s shoe or leg, but one youngster was bruised when three or four boys confronted him at once, said Donald Zimring, superintendent of the Las Virgenes Unified School District.

He may have been kicked in the groin or head while on the ground, although accounts differ, Zimring said.’


Thursday, October 29, 2009

 

Fifteen students left with permanent scars after branding each other with heated coathangers

‘Fifteen students were left with permanent scars after branding themselves with heated coat hangers at a house party, it emerged today.

The ‘group challenge’ saw each student brand themselves with the initial of the hall they lived in last year.

Participants held a reshaped metal coat hanger to heat on a hot stove for 30 seconds. [..]

After visiting hospital, at least three of the students were given antibiotics to fight infection.

A burns specialist also warned they will have permanent scarring, following the incident on September 20 at a private house party for students at Exeter University. [..]

Onlookers said large amounts of alcohol were consumed at the party, but another unnamed student added there was no coercion involved.

He said: ‘No one was pinned down. It was all optional, everyone just stood there and did it.”


handbook

Saturday, October 24, 2009

 

Man arrested for making coffee in own home while naked

‘Eric Williamson, from Springfield, Virginia, was brewing coffee in his kitchen when a woman and a seven-year-old boy walked past the window and saw him.

The woman complained to police who arrested Williamson shortly after the incident on Monday morning.

Williamson, 29, insisted he did nothing wrong and that any exposure of his private parts were accidental.

“Yes I wasn’t wearing any clothes but I was alone, in my own home and just got out of bed. It was dark and I had no idea anyone was outside looking in at me,” he said. [..]

A spokesman for Fairfax county police, Mary Ann Jennings, said Williamson was arrested because officers believed he wanted to be seen naked by the public.

The 29-year-old faces up to a year in jail and a $2,000 fine if he is convicted. He is fighting the charge and seeking damages from police.’


Saturday, September 12, 2009

 

6-Year-Old Drives After Mom Smokes “That Stinky Stuff”

‘A Coatesville mother made her 6-year-old daughter drive a car because “[mom] was sleepy” after smoking “that stinky stuff,” according to police. [..]

Officer Robert Keetch said he had to do a double take after seeing the little girl driving. “There were two white knuckles and a little head popping over the stearing wheel,” he said.

The woman, Lakisha Hogue, was sitting in the passenger seat, laughing, when a patrol officer pulled her over, said police. Hogue told the Officer Keetch that she was teaching her daughter how to drive.

“Mom made me drive because she was sleepy,” the girl told police.

Then police say the aunt asked her niece, “Was your mom smoking that stinky stuff again?” The girl replied “yes,” say police.’


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Wednesday, July 8, 2009

 

Another defamation suit: ZGeek owner sued for alleged defamatory forum comments

‘The operator of the Australian discussion forum ZGeek has been named as a defendant in a defamation suit for material posted by ZGeek users to a thread about a 9/11 conspiracy theory. Another forum is apparently also named as a defendant in the claim.

The plaintiffs are apparently seeking $42 Million in consequential damages, claiming that they lost a film deal as a result of criticism of the conspiracy theory in the discussion fora.

What makes this claim stranger is that the owner of the site states that he complied with earlier takedown notices sent by the plaintiffs’ lawyers about the alleged defamatory material.

These types of claims are very worrying for the high levels of uncertainty that they impose on forum operators. In the US, Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act essentially immunises forum operators from defamation claims like this one, but no such strong protection exists in Australia. This lack of certainty effectively provides an incentive for those who feel aggrieved by posts on a public forum to seek damages against the operators of the forum, even where the operators have complied by removing the allegedly defamatory material.’


Tuesday, July 7, 2009

 

‘Exorcism on teenager’: policeman stood down

‘A South Australian police officer has been charged with trying to perform an exorcism on a teenager at a church youth camp.

The 28-year-old off-duty senior constable and two other adults have been charged following a camp run by the Lutheran church in the Barossa Valley in April, Adelaide’s The Advertiser reports on Tuesday.

It’s alleged the three restrained the boy after he complained of stomach pains in an incident that allegedly went for about 12 hours.

The police officer has been charged with false imprisonment and aggravated assault, and suspended pending the outcome of the charges.’


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

 

Now…Go Break The Windows

‘A telephone prankster posing as a sprinkler company employee caused havoc Saturday morning at an Arkansas Holiday Inn when he convinced an employee to set off the hotel’s fire alarm, smash windows, shut down electricity, and break a sprinkler head that flooded the building lobby. [..]

The man told Bergmann that there was a problem with the hotel’s fire sprinklers and that she “needed to pull the fire alarm to reset them,” cops reported. “Bergmann proceeded to pull the fire alarm at this point, causing the audible alarm.” Bergmann, aided by a hotel guest, would subsequently follow a series of directions from the caller that would result in about $50,000 in damages to the hotel’s windows, carpets and electrical system.’


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Exploring the Mysteries of the Mind with the Sims 3

‘Every scientist dreams of a world without ethics. Whenever a scientist sees a set of twins, he or she secretly wonders what would happen if you surgically swapped their faces. They already have a chamber set up to harness the power of their screams as they gradually realize what has happened. Every day, ethics barely prevent experiments like this from being carried out.

But what if we didn’t have these ethics? When Nazi doctors were let loose during WWII, the incredible rate of their discoveries were matched only by the inadequacy of words to atone for them. They might have been monsters, but without them, we never would have discovered the yield elasticity of the elderly, or learned what part of a prisoner’s tongue detects the taste of angel meat.

The Sims 3 is computer game based on these Nazi scientists that offers us a world of moral ambiguity, free to perform psychological experiments away from the leering eye of ethics. Which is exactly what I did. Here are the results of my findings.’


careers

Monday, January 26, 2009

 

An explanation to the unfortunate waitress who had my table.

‘I entered your fine eatery alone today. You greeted me with a great big smile and I was smitten immediately. You are gorgeous and exactly my type, down to the perfume you so delicately shared with me as you passed by. I’m really a normal guy and I’d like to explain myself. Perhaps we can put today’s unfortunate events aside and start over in a few weeks, should I be lucky enough you read this.

Men are pigs. This is a simple fact of life. I’ll be the first to admit it. That said, I was admiring you work for a while and was becoming more and more attracted to you. The more I watched, not all stalker like mind you, the more I was sure you were in fact as beautiful as I had first observed. When you came back to my table and offered to top off my coffee, I was so focused on being close to you, so enamored, I failed to recognize what was going on in my pants. I could not be more sorry.

What I FELT was something foreign moving in my pants. What was ACTUALLY happening was, I was getting an erection. My first gut reaction was to immediately, without hesitation, rain death down upon this uninvited intruder. Kill it before it killed me. [..]‘


Wednesday, January 7, 2009

 

‘Jealous wife’ charged in fatal genitals fire

‘An Australian woman accused of setting her husband’s genitals on fire because she thought he was having an affair has been charged with murder.

Prosecutors said 44-year-old Rajini Narayan confessed to neighbors that she set her husband on fire on Dec. 8, 2008, after she saw him hug another woman.

She was initially charged with endangering life and arson but the charges were upgraded to murder after her 47-year-old husband, Satish Narayan, died from his injuries last week. [..]

Boord quoted Narayan allegedly saying: “I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else. … I didn’t mean this to happen.”‘


mail

Saturday, December 20, 2008

 

Police Get The Wrong House In Galveston, Allegedly Assault 12-Year-Old Girl

‘It was a little before 8 at night when the breaker went out at Emily Milburn’s home in Galveston. She was busy preparing her children for school the next day, so she asked her 12-year-old daughter, Dymond, to pop outside and turn the switch back on.

As Dymond headed toward the breaker, a blue van drove up and three men jumped out rushing toward her. One of them grabbed her saying, “You’re a prostitute. You’re coming with me.”

Dymond grabbed onto a tree and started screaming, “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.” One of the men covered her mouth. Two of the men beat her about the face and throat.

As it turned out, the three men were plain-clothed Galveston police officers who had been called to the area regarding three white prostitutes soliciting a white man and a black drug dealer.’


tour

Sunday, November 30, 2008

 

Oppau explosion

‘The Oppau explosion occurred on September 21, 1921 when a tower silo storing 4,500 tonnes of a mixture of ammonium sulfate and ammonium nitrate fertilizer exploded at a BASF plant in Oppau, now part of Ludwigshafen, Germany, killing 500–600 people and injuring about 2,000 more.

The plant began producing ammonium sulfate in 1911, but during World War I when Germany was unable to obtain the necessary sulfur, it began to produce ammonium nitrate as well. Ammonia could be produced without overseas resources, using the Haber process.

Compared to ammonium sulfate, ammonium nitrate is strongly hygroscopic, so the mixture of ammonium sulfate and nitrate clogged together under the pressure of its own weight, turning it into a plaster-like substance in the 20 m high silo. The workers needed to use pickaxes to get it out, a problematic situation because they could not enter the silo and risk being buried in collapsing fertilizer.

To ease their work, small charges of dynamite were used to loosen the mixture. [..]‘


notice

Sunday, November 23, 2008

 

Edison – The Menlo Park Drugs Baron

There are a few stories of Thomas Edison’s adventures. Science was extremely dodgy in the past. :) For example:

“I had read in a scientific paper the method of making nitroglycerine, and was so fired by the wonderful properties it was said to possess, that I determined to make some of the compound. We tested what we considered a very small quantity, but this produced such terrible and unexpected results that we became alarmed, the fact dawning upon us that we had a very large white elephant in our possession. At 6 A.M. I put the explosive into a sarsaparilla bottle, tied a string to it, wrapped it in a paper, and gently let it down into the sewer, corner of State and Washington Streets.”


Monday, November 3, 2008

 

No Clean Feed – Stop Internet Censorship in Australia

‘The Australian Federal Government is pushing forward with a plan to force Internet Service Providers [ISPs] to censor the Internet for all Australians. This plan will waste tens of millions of taxpayer dollars and slow down Internet access.

Despite being almost universally condemned by the public, ISPs, State Governments, Media and censorship experts, Communications Minister Stephen Conroy is determined to force this filter into your home.’

There are contact details for the fool behind this nonsense. If you’re annoy by all this, you should let them know.


handbook

Saturday, November 1, 2008

 

Uzi recoils, questions echo

‘As his father raised his camera, an 8-year-old boy aimed an Uzi at a pumpkin set up at a shooting event. Before his father could focus, the third-grader from Connecticut squeezed the trigger, and the high-powered weapon recoiled and fatally shot the boy in the head.

The death of Christopher Bizilj at the Westfield Sportsman’s Club Sunday has raised questions about how someone so young could be allowed to shoot an automatic weapon, which can fire hundreds of rounds in a minute. [..]

State Representative Michael Costello, the Newburyport Democrat who co-chairs the Joint Committee on Public Safety and Homeland Security, said yesterday that he plans to draft a bill that would ban anyone younger than age 21 from firing an automatic weapon.

“This isn’t a knee-jerk reaction; it’s a common sense reaction,” he said. “We should take swift action to provide some reasonable restrictions on this type of unreasonable practice. It’s almost indescribable that within a year of leaving a booster seat, an 8-year-old can be holding a submachine gun.”‘


Wednesday, October 15, 2008

 

Vicar accused of threatening herself

‘British authorities say a vicar stands accused of allegedly sending herself a dead hedgehog and dog feces to prove herself a crime victim.

The Rev. Janet Magee, 62, a Methodist minister, also claimed she was the victim of threatening phone calls and hate mail, which police determined she allegedly made and sent herself, the Daily Mail reported Monday.

Police reached their conclusions after secretly installing a closed circuit television camera in her home, the Mail reported, noting Magee is in on trial in Grimsby Crown Court for making false claims to police.

Magee, who allegedly tried to portray the hedgehog, dog feces, phone calls and hate mail as the work of people in her church, has been suspended as minister in charge of seven parishes on the Brigg and Barton-upon-Humbler Methodist Circuit, the Mail reported, noting Magee has pleaded innocent.’


search

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

 

Benny Lava

see it here »


Sunday, September 21, 2008

 

Training an AI bot

I’ve been playing with an artificial intelligence bot lately. It sits in IRC all day long, learns how to use words, and then pretends to be a person. It’s not very clever yet. :)

To give you an idea of how intelligent it is, today I’ve had the most sensible conversation with it that it’s ever had:

<moonbuggy> moonb0rg, what do you think about donkeys?
<moonb0rg> fucking donkeys?
<moonbuggy> moonb0rg, well, donkeys in general.
<moonb0rg> its all about donkeys digressin
<moonbuggy> moonb0rg, you think donkeys often digress?
<moonb0rg> sir, you fuck donkeys

Fun stuff. :)


Thursday, September 18, 2008

 

bodily fluids disaster story

‘I originally wrote this story as a reply in one of those “funny drinking stories” threads a couple of months ago. It is a very embarrassing story about me when I was a stupid teenager, not that much different from a lot of people’s drinking stories, but with a twist of lemon. Lots of people seemed to like it, so I thought I would illustrate and narrate the story in its own thread for maximum hilarity.

This all happened when I was 18 years old. I had dropped out of highschool twice by this point, ditched a lot of my friends because I was a selfish idiot and generally didn’t give a gently caress about anything. I hardly ever ate anything and was skinny as gently caress, showered maybe once every three days, took a poo poo load of drugs and smoked like a chimney. I didn’t have any prospects for the future. I just followed every impulse I had. I stole hundreds of dollars of stuff from the gas station I worked at. I stole poo poo from my parents. I shop lifted. I’m sure lots of people have been through a phase like this and I feel very sorry for all of you.’


e-mail

Thursday, September 11, 2008

 

I’m starting a gang. If you’d like to join, and live in my area, email

‘I’m making a gang. It’s going to be called the “Regulators.” It’s a popular name but I don’t know of any with that name in my area so I’m going to use it. You must live in downtown DC. You must be at least 5’8. You can be smaller but you have to prove yourself to join. You don’t have to get beat up to get initiated into the gank. You should have to be down for the cause. If you’re not loyal though, I will cock glock and lay you out. That’s real talk. [..]‘


careers

Monday, September 1, 2008

 

Binocular Soccer

(5.3meg Flash video)

see it here »


Friday, August 29, 2008

 

Clifton Police arrest Ninjas

‘Two “modern day Ninjas” calling themselves Shinobi Warriors on a quest to rid the area of drug users and drug dealers have been put out of business by police.

On Wednesday at 2:35 a.m. police officers approached a car parked in the left lane of Route 46 east and found two Clifton men dressed in black claiming to be Ninjas. The men were wearing tactical vests and armed with knives in sheaths at their waists along with Ninja throwing knives, Chinese throwing stars, four-pointed tacks, swords, bows and arrows and nunchucks, said detective Capt. Robert Rowan.

The two men, Jesse Trojaniak, 19, and Tadieusz Tertkiewicz, 20, told police they were “modern day Ninjas” also called Shinobi Warriors on their way to deliver warning letters to known drug dealers and drug users to stop their “impure” activities. They told police they planned to leave the letters on the front doors of these individuals they had singled out.

Their weapons, Rowan said, were to be a precaution in case they were confronted by the drug dealers.

The officers located five envelopes decorated with red Chinese designs containing the letters to be delivered. Reports show the two men had already delivered one such letter to Tertkiewicz’ 16-year-old ex-girlfriend in Clifton. Police contacted the teen and her mother and alerted them to the situation. Tertkiewicz was charged with harassment, both were charged with weapons possession.’


mail

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

 

Airline captain, lawyer, child on terror ‘watch list’

‘James Robinson is a retired Air National Guard brigadier general and a commercial pilot for a major airline who flies passenger planes around the country.

Eight-year-old James Robinson isn’t sure what “terrorist” means, but he’s on the government list, too.

He has even been certified by the Transportation Security Administration to carry a weapon into the cockpit as part of the government’s defense program should a terrorist try to commandeer a plane.

But there’s one problem: James Robinson, the pilot, has difficulty even getting to his plane because his name is on the government’s terrorist “watch list.”

That means he can’t use an airport kiosk to check in; he can’t do it online; he can’t do it curbside. Instead, like thousands of Americans whose names match a name or alias used by a suspected terrorist on the list, he must go to the ticket counter and have an agent verify that he is James Robinson, the pilot, and not James Robinson, the terrorist.

“Shocking’s a good word; frustrating,” Robinson — the pilot — said. “I’m carrying a weapon, flying a multimillion-dollar jet with passengers, but I’m still screened as, you know, on the terrorist watch list.”‘


tour

Sunday, August 17, 2008

 

Man threatens brother’s life for using ladder

‘A man was arrested Monday night after he allegedly threatened to kill his brother during an argument over a ladder.

Benjamin Brunson, 71, told police he was upset with his 60-year-old brother, Jesse, because Jesse used a ladder. Benjamin Brunson admitted he told his brother, “I will kill you,” to “get him scared of me, make him cool off,” a police report states.

When police arrived at the brothers’ home in the 800 block of North 10th Street shortly after 6:30 p.m., Jesse Brunson confirmed that the disagreement was about a ladder, according to the report. Jesse Brunson told police he feared that his older brother was capable of carrying out the threat.

While police were there, the two men kept arguing and officers felt that a fight was imminent, the report states.’


notice

Friday, August 15, 2008

 

Dad ‘blows son up’

‘A Cambodian father and mechanic learned the hard way not to inflate children when he inserted an air hose designed to fill car tyres into his five-year-old son’s anus and blew him up, local media reported on Thursday.

The Khmer-language Rasmei Kampuchea daily reported Try Sienghym was “playing” with his son Sok Sambo when the incident took place.

The paper said the child’s stomach became distended and his concerned mother rushed him to hospital, where he remains in a stable condition and is expected to make a full recovery.

“The father very much regrets playing like this now,” the paper quoted a family member as saying.’