Posts tagged as: stupid

conditions

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

 

consbreastution – Google Search

Hooray for automatic profanity filters. 🙂


Wednesday, August 6, 2008

 

Releasing Balloons For Charity

I assume they’re trying to raise money for retarded aeroplane pilots or something. 🙂

(2.6meg Flash video)

see it here »


Evil mother who killed son, 5, to spite her ex

‘An evil mother driven by rage and jealousy killed her five-year-old son to spite his father, a horrified coroner heard yesterday.

Emma Hart, 27, force-fed Lewis Dangerfield a lethal cocktail of painkillers and antidepressants at their home, then fled to her mother’s flat nearby and ended her own life by slashing her wrists.

In a note to Lewis’s father, Shaun Dangerfield, which she left by the boy’s body, she wrote: ‘I told you I would make you pay, enjoy your life now, nothing is stopping you, ha ha ha. Just remember it’s all your fault.’

Coroner Robin Balmain described the case as the most distressing he had ever dealt with in 25 years of inquests. ‘I can’t imagine something quite so evil as a mother who is prepared to do that.

‘Her actions were simply spite – she was prepared to kill her son to spite Mr Dangerfield. I find it difficult to believe how anybody could do that.”


handbook

Saturday, August 2, 2008

 

Driver abuses speed limit and himself

‘A Territory man filmed himself speeding at 150km/h while masturbating at the wheel of his drug-laden car, a court heard.

His Holden SV6 was allegedly laden with 5kg of drugs, including two cannabis plants resting on the back seat, the court was told.

Brendon Alan Erhardt, 39, was granted bail so he could marry his girlfriend of six months before he goes to jail.

Prosecutor Sergeant Melinda Edwards said in court the father-of-three told police he “had masturbated while driving” just before he was stopped for speeding on the 130km/h stretch of the Stuart Hwy.

“(He) also video recorded himself masturbating while travelling at a speed of 150km/h.”

Sgt Edwards said Mr Erhardt — who was disqualified from driving — also told officers his act was “not dangerous” as the “only person he could hurt was himself”.’


international

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

 

Chickity China Da Chinese Chicken

Have a drumstick and your brain starts clickin’..

(1.4meg Flash video)

see it here »


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

 

Katie Holmes & Her Mysterious Purple Hands

‘Katie Holmes has been wearing gloves and long sleeve shirts with the sleeves pulled down over her hands, in order to cover their freakish purple coloration.

It’s rumored that Katie may have taken part in a Scientology purification ritual that caused her hands to turn purple.

According to reports, the purification ritual is called the Purification Rundown or Purif, which is the process of taking ‘vitamin bombs’ to get ‘toxins’ out of their bodies.

It’s reported that in almost every single case, Scientology founder Hubbard recommends dosages in his teachings that are well above the safe limits, in some cases as much as 142 times more than the toxic level. The side effects of such huge overdoses range from liver damage, hair loss, brain swelling and nausea up to fatal heart and respiratory failure.’


Monday, July 21, 2008

 

Police use taser on blind woman with cancer

‘Family members are angry and speaking out after Dayton police used a stun gun on a woman who is blind and suffering from cancer. Police said they were looking for a suspect when they knocked on Denise Harris’s door Thursday morning. But according to both police and witnesses, things quickly got out of hand and Harris was tased.

“She was able to force herself down on to the floor and not be cooperative, grabbing on to the detective. A taser was dry stunned onto her arm to control her hand movement, then she was cuffed,” said Sgt. Charles Anderson.

Her family said she was yelling at officers because she was scared.

“She was terrified. She was extremely terrified,” said Harris’s niece, Dionna. “She was scared because the person identified themselves as a police officer. But she’s been robbed before by someone using the same technique.” [..]

“She’s blind and they pulled her off her Futon, handcuffed her and tased her because he said she swung at him. She can’t see,” said Harris’s sister Elvita Harris. “I’m very frustrated and upset. Dayton police need to implement a sensitivity program.”

Neighbors said they told officers she was blind and sick.’


api

Friday, July 18, 2008

 

Moon mistaken for UFO

‘The moon was mistaken for a “bright, stationary” UFO which had been loitering for at least half an hour, by a confused local in South Wales who made a 999 call to the police.

Today officers released a transcript in order to highlight the time wasted by unnecessary 999 calls.

The bizzare conversation ran as follows: [..]’


copyright

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

 

Sorry that I kicked you in balls

‘Brandon! Brandon! Brandon, come here!

Thats what I heard for five minutes while we were in the Quicky Mart. Your 3 year old was running all over and knocking stuff down while you and your Whiskey Tango (white trash) wife were getting your post methadone clinic Big Gulps. You would just just yell every 30 seconds “Brandon come here” like an hillbilly fog horn. I wanted to yell “turn your fat jowls and watch your crotch fruit, yelling Brandon every thirty seconds does not make up for your lack of parenting “. I chose not to as I just wanted out of there.’


trademarks

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

 

Toddlers who dislike spicy food racist, say report

‘Toddlers who turn their noses up at spicy food from overseas could be branded racists by a Government-sponsored agency.

The National Children’s Bureau, which receives £12 million a year, mainly from Government funded organisations, has issued guidance to play leaders and nursery teachers advising them to be alert for racist incidents among youngsters in their care.

This could include a child of as young as three who says “yuk” in response to being served unfamiliar foreign food. [..]

It advises nursery teachers to be on the alert for childish abuse such as: “blackie”, “Pakis”, “those people” or “they smell”.

The guide goes on to warn that children might also “react negatively to a culinary tradition other than their own by saying ‘yuk'”. [..]

Nurseries are encouraged to report as many incidents as possible to their local council. The guide added: “Some people think that if a large number of racist incidents are reported, this will reflect badly on the institution. In fact, the opposite is the case.”‘


profile

Monday, July 14, 2008

 

Dad Sells Baby’s Name for $100 Gas Card

‘An Orlando man has traded the naming rights to his unborn son for a $100 gas card.

David Partin recently heard that a local radio station was giving $100 worth of free gas to the listener who called in with the most interesting item to trade. Central Florida radio hosts Richard Dixon and J. Willoughby were quick to take Partin up on his offer, The Orlando Sentinel reports.

When the baby is born this winter, he will be named Dixon and Willoughby Partin — with the “and” included.

Partin’s girlfriend, Samantha, says at least her son will have an interesting story about how he got his name.’


Sunday, July 13, 2008

 

Strip Search of 13-Year-Old for Ibuprofen Ruled Unconstitutional

‘If you have a problem with school officials strip searching 13-year-olds for Advil – or if you care about the government’s standards for informant use and invasive searches – you can take relief in yesterday’s ruling by a full panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit, which ruled 6-5 that students cannot be strip-searched based on the uncorroborated word of another student who is facing disciplinary punishment.

“A reasonable school official, seeking to protect the students in his charge, does not subject a thirteen-year-old girl to a traumatic search to ‘protect’ her from the danger of Advil,” the federal appellate court wrote in today’s opinion. “We reject Safford’s effort to lump together these run-of-the-mill anti-inflammatory pills with the evocative term ‘prescription drugs,’ in a knowing effort to shield an imprudent strip search of a young girl behind a larger war against drugs.”

“It does not take a constitutional scholar to conclude that a nude search of a 13-year-old girl is an invasion of constitutional rights. More than that: it is a violation of any known principle of human dignity,” the court continued.’


conditions

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

 

IT’S A GODDAMNED CRACKER!

‘There are days when it is agony to read the news, because people are so goddamned stupid. Petty and stupid. Hateful and stupid. Just plain stupid. And nothing makes them stupider than religion.

Here’s a story that will destroy your hopes for a reasonable humanity.

Webster Cook says he smuggled a Eucharist, a small bread wafer that to Catholics symbolic of the Body of Christ after a priest blesses it, out of mass, didn’t eat it as he was supposed to do, but instead walked with it.

This isn’t the stupid part yet. [..]’


Saturday, July 5, 2008

 

New Computer Repair Law Could Affect Both Company Owners and Consumers

‘A new Texas law requires every computer repair technician to obtain a private investigator’s license, according to a lawsuit filed in Austin. Violators can face a $4,000 fine and one year in jail, as well as a $10,000 civil penalty.

Unlicensed computer shops will have to close down until they obtain a private investigator’s license.

A private investigator’s license can be obtained by acquiring a criminal justice degree or by getting a three-year apprenticeship under a licensed private investigator. [..]

In the Austin American-Statesman, State Rep. Joe Driver, (R-Garland) explains the intent of the law, and claims it does not place such restrictions on most computer shops.’


The pub with no swearing, no gambling and, guess what… no customers

‘Of all the careers available to a devout Christian couple, revamping an urban pub and winning over its hardcore regulars was always going to be a gamble.

Sure enough, Krista and John Fleming found they were preaching to the unconverted – and the regulars had every intention of staying that way.

Now the Flemings, who banned swearing and gambling on horseracing, have been sacked after takings plunged. [..]

She said: ‘They should have built pews in here rather than chairs. I have no problem with their religion but… a pub is a pub. They started having a quiz and loads of the questions were on the Bible.

‘They took down the dart board… and now there’s some kind of calligraphy up there. [..]’


handbook

Thursday, July 3, 2008

 

Florida law allows guns at workplace

‘The Florida Retail Corporation and the Florida Chamber of Commerce are taking legal action against recent legislation which allows employees who have concealed weapons permits to bring guns to the workplace.

Disney and Publix are seeking to ban firearms from all areas of their property including the parking lots. Under the Florida law, workers will not only be permitted to have weapons, their employers will be prohibited from searching their vehicles or taking punitive action if a weapon is found.

In response to concerns that this legislation puts others at risk, Florida Governor Charlie Crist stated “It’s always a good idea to be able to protect yourself and the Second Amendment is a precious, cherished amendment that I fully support.”

Florida Chamber of Commerce member Sherri McInvale commented “It will absolutely hinder an employer’s right to control what happens on their property and most likely will not allow an employer to provide a safe environment for their employees and consumers.”‘


international

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

 

Man Who Used Stick To Roll Ball Into Hole In Ground Praised For His Courage

‘A man who used several different bent sticks to hit a ball to an area comprised of very short grass surrounding a hole in the ground was praised for his courage Monday after he used a somewhat smaller stick to gently roll the ball into the aforementioned hole in fewer attempts than his competitors. “What guts, what confidence,” ESPN commentator Scott Van Pelt said of the man, who was evidently unable to carry his sticks himself, employing someone else to hold the sticks and manipulate the flag sticking out of the hole in the ground while he rolled the ball into it. “You have to be so brave, so self-assured, so strong mentally to [roll a ball into a hole in the ground]. Amazing.” The man in question apparently hurt his knee during this activity.’


Crazy Driver Nearly Killed By Train

Not particularly clever, really. Lucky tho. 🙂

(2.4meg Flash video)

see it here »


Political Correctness Gone Too Far

‘A serious debate has heated up in the Swedish blogosphere on Monday after an eight-year-old boy’s failure to invite two classmates to his birthday party resulted in a complaint filed with parliament. Nearly 200 outraged comments had been posted on the website of the local southern Swedish daily Sydsvenskan on Monday, just days after the paper reported about the unlikely string of events that followed a young boy’s decision to invite all of his classmates to his birthday party except two.

The policy at the boy’s school in the southern town of Lund was that all children (or all the boys or all the girls) had to be invited to parties when their invitations were handed out in class. When a teacher noticed that two children had been left out of a party list, she promptly confiscated all the invitations, according to Sydsvenskan.

“Two people in class had not been invited, and that is not allowed. The ones who were not invited felt sad and left out,” the school principal, who was not named, told the paper.

The boy’s father meanwhile decided to file a complaint with the Swedish parliamentary ombudsman, insisting his son’s rights had been trampled on. [..]’


api

Saturday, June 28, 2008

 

Hospital sued for parting lesbian couple

‘A Washington woman said she filed a federal lawsuit accusing a Miami hospital of “anti-gay animus” after workers refused to let her see her dying partner.

Janice Langbehn and her partner Lisa Marie Pond, both aged 39, intended to enjoy a vacation cruise with three of their four children, marking the women’s 18 years as a couple in February 2007, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported Thursday.

The trip abruptly ended when Pond had a massive stroke as the ship was preparing to leave port, the newspaper said.

She was taken to Miami’s Jackson Memorial Hospital, where Langbehn said workers would not let her see her ailing partner.

A social worker allegedly said the couple was in an “anti-gay city and state.”‘


copyright

Broken Skateboard Has Last Laugh

That looks fairly painful. That’ll teach him I s’pose.

(1.0meg Flash video)

see it here »


trademarks

Monday, June 16, 2008

 

Suspicious incident on-board MBTA bus resolved

‘Transit police have identified the man seen with a young girl on-board a bus at Sullivan Station Sunday night.

Officers have met with both the young girl, and the family member who was with her on the bus.

A passenger noticed a man holding the child’s hand. That passenger says she overheard the girl say she was hungry, and the man told her to “Please be quiet.”

T police say there was no criminal conduct. They consider the case closed.’


profile

i need to find a bigger brand of condoms

‘even the magnums are too small for me, is there anywhere you can order bigger ones on line? they fit great on the shaft but it is way too tight around my ball sack and it squeezes my balls which is very uncomfortable.’


Wednesday, June 11, 2008

 

Kid Knocks Himself Out Tossing Log

‘He’s dead! Motherfucker!’

(4.0meg Flash video)

see it here »


conditions

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

 

Kicking A Hole In A Concrete Wall

It’s not a good idea at all.

(858kB Flash video)

see it here »


Sunday, June 8, 2008

 

Scientology luxury cruise ship remains locked down; Cult put thousands at high cancer risk

‘Six weeks after public health authorities on the Caribbean island of Curaçao (Netherlands Antilles) impounded the Scientology cult’s 440-foot luxury liner “Freewinds,” the ship remains locked down. Experts advise that decontaminating the ship would cost millions of dollars and may not even be possible. Meanwhile, the cult continues to solicit funds for cruises that will not happen.

After the ship was quarantined on April 26, the Curaçao Drydock Company was contracted to carry out refurbishment and repairs. The contamination was so extensive that the company decided that the risk to its workers was too great, and ceased operations. At that point Scientology sent a team of its “Sea Org” internal paramilitary force to clean the ship themselves. They are bringing the blue asbestos by the truckload to dump at the island’s Selikor landfill site at Malpais. [..]

Incredibly, top leaders of the Scientology cult were informed of the pervasive contamination back in 1987, but chose to do nothing. [..] Since Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard had never mentioned that asbestos was dangerous, they were not going to worry about it. Scientologists believe that disease is caused not by microbes or toxic substances, but by the presence of “suppressive persons” (SPs), or people who disagree with Scientology and its goals. Moreover, Scientologists believe that high-level Sea Org members cannot get cancer or any other disease.’


Friday, June 6, 2008

 

Man Falls After Receiving Spirit, Sues

‘Last June, Matthew Lincoln was attending an evening service at his nondenominational Tennessee church when he approached the altar where a visiting minister was offering individual prayers for parishioners. Assigned “catchers” were present on the altar in case congregants fainted, fell, or otherwise lost control. When the minister, Robert Lavala, slightly touched his forehead, the Knoxville-area man “received the spirit and fell backwards.” Except nobody was there to catch him, Lincoln charges in a $2.5 million lawsuit filed yesterday against Lakewind Church and its pastors. Lincoln, 58, claims that he fell backwards, striking his head against the “carpet-covered cement floor,” according to the Circuit Court complaint [..]

Lincoln alleges that Lakewind and its pastors were “negligent in not supervising the catchers to be sure that they stood behind the person being prayed for…should they have a dizzying, fainting, or falling in the spirit as had occurred on many occasions before.”‘


handbook

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

 

Woman Calls Orem Police To Free Her From Her Locked Car

‘Automatic car features are supposed to make life easier for motorists, but they may be leaving some people without the know-how to do things the old-fashioned way. That’s what happened to a driver in Utah County who became trapped inside her own car.

A woman called Orem police Friday afternoon needing help because her battery died and she was locked inside her car.

When police arrived, they found the woman sitting in the car, unable to get herself out. She couldn’t hear the officers instructions through the rolled-up windows so she motioned to them to call her on her cell phone, according to police.

Once officers were able to talk to the woman on the phone, they were able to tell her how to manually operate the slide lock mechanism on the inside door panel to open the door and free herself.

“I’m just glad she had a cell phone to call for help,” an officer said.’


international

Saturday, May 31, 2008

 

Iraqis claim Marines are pushing Christianity in Fallujah

‘At the western entrance to the Iraqi city of Fallujah Tuesday, Muamar Anad handed his residence badge to the U.S. Marines guarding the city. They checked to be sure that he was a city resident, and when they were done, Anad said, a Marine slipped a coin out of his pocket and put it in his hand.

Out of fear, he accepted it, Anad said. When he was inside the city, the college student said, he looked at one side of the coin. “Where will you spend eternity?” it asked.

He flipped it over, and on the other side it read, “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16.”

“They are trying to convert us to Christianity,” said Anad, a Sunni Muslim like most residents of this city in Anbar province. At home, he told his story, and his relatives echoed their disapproval: They’d been given the coins, too, he said.’


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

 

Donkey Sent To Prison For Attacking Two Men In Mexico

‘A donkey has been sent to prison in southern Mexico for a brutal case of ass-ault and battery.

The animal was locked up at a local jail that normally holds people for public drunkenness and other disturbances after it bit and kicked two men near a ranch in the state of Chiapas.

The two victims accuse it of biting one of them in the chest and then kicking the other as he came to the rescue, fracturing his ankle.

Police said it took half a dozen men to control the enraged beast.’