Posts tagged as: stupid

Saturday, May 24, 2008

 

How I Killed a Guy: A True Story

‘At 2:25 P.M., I happened to be down on the street, smoking a cigarette with a co-worker. Out of the blue, I hear “Splat,” followed by piercing, vivid screams of fear and nauseous anxiety.

Suddenly, I saw two girls running down the side of the street with blood and muscle tissue covering their faces. And I just walked around, asking myself what the hell was going on.

In the confusion, my buddy told me to turn around. I did, and there it was: [..]’


terms

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

 

the answer to life, the universe and everything plus the number of horns on a unicorn


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Image of Taser use lingers

‘Blake Dwyer remembers pain:

And shouting.

And fear.

“I thought a swarm of wasps was after me,” the 17-year-old Guyer High School athlete said. “I was trying to fight them off.”

He doesn’t remember the epileptic seizure he suffered July 18, 2007, when he was 16.

He doesn’t remember fighting to keep from being tied to a stretcher or hitting a paramedic.

His brother, Travis Baker, 17, remembers all of it. He recalls screaming at Corinth police to stop shocking Blake with a Taser. His mother, Deana, remembers hearing Travis crying on the telephone.

“He was saying, ‘Blake is having a seizure, and they’re hurting him,'” she said.’


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Saturday, May 10, 2008

 

Kids, mom lived with 90-year-old’s corpse for weeks in Wis.

‘Two children and their mother lived for about two months with the decaying body of a 90-year-old woman on the toilet of their home’s only bathroom, on the advice of a religious “superior” who claimed the corpse would come back to life, authorities said Friday.

The children—a 15-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy—cried hysterically Wednesday after a deputy who came to their Necedah home looking for Magdeline Alvina Middlesworth ordered them out because of the stench from her body.

The children were in foster care Friday. Their mother, Tammy Lewis, and self-described “bishop” Alan Bushey remained in custody on felony counts of being a party to causing mental harm to a child. [..]

Lewis told the deputy that Middlesworth had died about two months earlier, but that God told her Middlesworth would come to life if she prayed hard enough.

She said she couldn’t say anything more until she spoke with her “superior”—Bushey, 57, also known as Bishop John Peter Bushey.’


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13 Year Old Steals Dad’s Credit Card to Buy Hookers

‘A 13 year old from Texas who stole his Dad’s credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order.

Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father’s existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing “Halo” on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel.

The credit card company involved said it was regular practice to send extra credit cards out as long as all security questions are answered.

The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business. [..]

Ralph’s ambition is to one day become a politician.’


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Thursday, May 8, 2008

 

I have news for you, little boy.

‘alright, i got a computer that used to be networked onto a server with classlinks in school or whatever., well i got it home thinking i could reformat the hard drive, yeah…no. they set up a password on the computer so when i go to the utility options or whatever, and it has a password as soon as it opens. and to let you know nothing boots. i tried installing XP but im almost 100% sure that that password is blockin the coputer from accessing it, bc when i go to install XP it says no mass storgae device found. So how do i over ride this password. i changed the RAM and switched out the hard drives, then i took out that little battery for 10 min or so..no luck, Somone please help me.’


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Conservatives Happier Than Liberals

‘Regardless of marital status, income or church attendance, right-wing individuals reported greater life satisfaction and well-being than left-wingers, the new study found. Conservatives also scored highest on measures of rationalization, which gauge a person’s tendency to justify, or explain away, inequalities. [..]

To justify economic inequalities, a person could support the idea of meritocracy, in which people supposedly move up their economic status in society based on hard work and good performance. In that way, one’s social class attainment, whether upper, middle or lower, would be perceived as totally fair and justified.

If your beliefs don’t justify gaps in status, you could be left frustrated and disheartened, according to the researchers, Jaime Napier and John Jost of New York University. They conducted a U.S.-centric survey and a more internationally focused one to arrive at the findings.’


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Saturday, May 3, 2008

 

Oh Shiit


Friday, May 2, 2008

 

The Colleen Lopez battery fiasco

During an infomercial for some car jumper leads the women doing the presenting decides to switch the jumper cable connections to the battery. Intentionally, for no good reason.

Silly. 🙂

(2.8meg Flash video)

see it here »


Sunday, April 13, 2008

 

Carl McCunn

‘Carl McCunn (1946 – 1981) was a Texan who, in March 1981, paid a bush pilot to drop him at a remote lake near the Coleen River in Alaska, on the southern margin of the Brooks Range, to photograph wildlife.

McCunn flew in with 500 rolls of film, 1,400 pounds of provisions, two rifles and a shotgun, but had not arranged for the pilot to pick him up again in August. He prematurely disposed of boxes of shotgun shells in the river; used the wrong emergency hand signals to a plane that had spotted him and waved the plane off; and waited too long in the season to attempt to walk out.

In February 1982 Alaska State Troopers found his body, emaciated and frozen as hard as stone, along with a 100-page diary that documented his demise. He wrote “I think I should have used more foresight about arranging my departure.” Rather than starve, McCunn had shot himself in the head.’


Writing A Crack Cheque

‘In my previous life as a fed agent I was often asked to assist with some “undercover” sting operations all over the Northeast US. One of the most memorable was a op in northern Maine. I was to play the brother-in-law of our source who’s co-worker had recently asked him if he knew of any good dealers of crack.

Long story short they brought me in to sell him crack. We met the “Client” as planned and you should have seen this kids eyes when I pulled out this giant bag of crack we had obtained from a previous bust. He looked like he was going to start crying, like he had just come to know Jesus or something… anyway he wanted to buy it all, every last gram of it, but he had only brought $150.00 bucks with him. I thought for a second and asked him if had his checkbook on him and he did. [..]’


Cabinet for girl who wanted ‘Cab, init?’

‘A teenager reportedly ended up with a cabinet instead of a taxi because she asked directory inquiries for a “cab, innit”.

According to The Sun, the Londoner, 19, wanted a taxi to take her to Bristol airport, and first used the Cockney rhyming slang “Joe Baxi”.

When the operator told her she couldn’t find anyone by that name, the teen replied: “It ain’t a person, it’s a cab, innit.”

The operator then found the nearest cabinet shop, Displaysense, and put the girl through.

She then spoke to a bemused saleswoman and eventually demanded: “Look love, how hard is it? All I want is your cheapest cab, innit. I need it for 10am. How much is it?”

The sales adviser said it would be £180 and the girl gave her address and paid with a credit card. The next morning, an office cabinet was delivered to her South London home.’


Dr. Phil Posted Bond For Teen Accused Of Ringleading Videotaped Beating

‘The teen accused of masterminding a videotaped “animalistic” attack against a fellow teenage classmate is out on bond, and she has celebrity talk show host Dr. Phil McGraw to thank for it, according to a bail bondsman.

The bondsman told media gathered at a Polk County jail Friday that Dr. Phil posted Mercedes Nichols’ $30,000 bond.

When Nichols was released from jail, a man arrived and idenfitied himself as a Dr. Phil producer and ordered local media to leave the area because the Dr. Phil Show had exclusive rights to the story, according to reporters on scene.’


terms

Saturday, April 12, 2008

 

Boeing Patent Shuts Down AMC-14 Lunar Flyby Salvage Attempt

‘Attempts to salvage a wayward GEO comsat have come unstuck in the face of institutional disinterest and an aging patent of questionable validity.

The AMC-14 commercial geostationary satellite was launched in March by a Proton launch vehicle into space just short of its minimum geostationary transfer orbit (GTO). [..]

Following the failed launch, SES Americom looked into how they might salvage the satellite in a manner similar to the Asiasat-3 salvage in 1998.

However, SpaceDaily has now learned that a plan to salvage AMC-14 was abandoned a week ago when SES gave up in the face of patent issues relating to the lunar flyby process used to bring wayward GEO birds back to GEO Earth orbit. [..]

Industry sources have told SpaceDaily that the patent is regarded as legal “trite”, as basic physics has been rebranded as a “process”, and that the patent wouldn’t stand up to any significant level of court scrutiny and was only registered at the time as “the patent office was incompetent when it came to space matters”.’


report

Man Charged With Petty Theft After Leaving Pop Under Cart

‘Have you ever put a case of water or something heavy under your shopping cart and then forgotten about it?

A Cleveland man did and it landed him in jail.

Tom Sturgis has a long receipt showing the $157.20 worth of two grocery carts full of groceries that he bought at a Brooklyn supermarket Saturday night. After going through the self checkout, Sturgis said he forgot a $4 case of pop under the cart.

A police officer working security at the store asked to see his receipt.

“I went looking for the receipt, the pop wasn’t on it and they decided to have me arrested,” he said. [..]

Sturgis, who said he has never had so much as a parking ticket, found himself being led out of the store in handcuffs. He spent 11:30 p.m. until 3 a.m. in jail that night.

At home, his wife said she couldn’t believe what was happening.’


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Tuesday, April 8, 2008

 

Man dies from mercury poisoning after trying to extract gold

‘A man who was poisoned March 19 while trying to use mercury to extract gold from computer parts has died and the home is so contaminated that it cannot be lived in, an emergency official said. [..]

The home is located on Winnett Road southeast of Colbert. Winnett and Melissa Lake drove themselves to the hospital after inhaling mercury vapors, according to authorities. [..]

Mercury has a chemical reaction with gold and causes it to separate, according to Dalton. Authorities believe the couple heated the mercury and accidentally inhaled it.

The home was immediately cordoned off after the incident. Dalton said he did not know how much mercury was inside the home, but the residence would have to be gutted before it could ever be used again.’


conditions

Sunday, April 6, 2008

 

Man Caught Having Sex with Picnic Table

(4.2meg Flash video)

see it here »


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Sunday, March 30, 2008

 

TSA Forces Woman To Remove Nipple Rings At Airport Security Gate

‘A Texas woman who said she was forced to remove a nipple ring with pliers in order to board an airplane called Thursday for an apology by federal security agents and a civil rights investigation. [..]

Hamlin, 37, said she was trying to board a flight from Lubbock to Dallas on Feb. 24 when she was scanned by a Transportation Security Administration agent after passing through a larger metal detector without problems.

The female TSA agent used a handheld detector that beeped when it passed in front of Hamlin’s chest, the Dallas-area resident said.

Hamlin said she told the woman she was wearing nipple piercings. The agent then called over her male colleagues, one of whom said she would have to remove the jewelry, Hamlin said.

Hamlin said she could not remove them and asked whether she could instead display her pierced breasts in private to the female agent. But several other male officers told her she could not board her flight until the jewelry was out, she said.’


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Creative Lab’s Message to Daniel_K

Apparently Creative sound cards barely work in Windows vista, and Creative won’t make drivers for them.

“If we choose to develop and provide host-based processing features with certain sound cards and not others, that is a business decision that only we have the right to make.”

Some clever fellow has been writing his own drivers that have make the cards work as they should, but creative aren’t happy about it. Intellectual property and all that.

What follows is many forum pages worth of people telling Creative they’re stupid and claiming they’re never buying a Creative sound card again.

“My god, you guys got some balls on you, either that or you’r all bordeline mad.”

Hilarious. 🙂


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Thursday, March 27, 2008

 

Chicago’s Dumbest Thief

‘Chicago Police say no one could make this story up…

18-year-old Ruben Zarate, entered a muffler shop in the 2600 block of North Laramie Avenue yesterday and declared a robbery. He allegedly waved a gun around and demanded money, according to police.

When he was told the money was in a safe and that the manager who knew how to open it was not there, the suspect had a brilliant idea; at least he thought it was brilliant.

He gave the shop employees his cell phone number and asked them to call him when the manager arrived so he could open the safe for him.

He left and the employees opted to call 911. Authorities stationed plain clothes officers in the shop and called the would-be robber back.

Zarate, showed up again, and waved his gun around again, but this time was shot in the leg by an officer.’


Tuesday, March 25, 2008

 

Stupid Game Show Answers – Dumb Luck

How many years in a decade? 🙂

(6.2meg Flash video)

see it here »


Saturday, March 22, 2008

 

Emergency Stop Button

Ever wondered what happens when you press the emergency stop or the fire button at a petrol station? 🙂

(2.8meg Flash video)

see it here »


Sunday, March 16, 2008

 

Teen charged with stealing bunny, trying to extort money

‘A Portland teen has been charged with stealing a pet bunny and trying to extort money from the bunny’s owner.

The 17-year old, who’s being held at the Long Creek Youth Development Center, is accused of breaking into another teen’s apartment and stealing the gray pygmy rabbit. Police say he then telephoned the rabbit’s owner demanding repayment of a $100 debt or else the rabbit would be hurt.

Police Lt. Tony Ward says officers recovered the rabbit in good condition. They charged the 17-year-old with burglary and theft in connection with the break-in.

The juvenile is also charged with robbery, assault and terrorizing following a confrontation last Friday in which he allegedly stole another teen’s skateboard, backpack and pocket money.’


World’s Best Video Production Company

Who needs a movie?

(5.5meg Flash video)

see it here »


Wanted man accidentally maces own face for cops

‘Kamloops RCMP say a wanted man was arrested after accidentally spraying himself in the face with bear spray while fleeing officers.

The Mounties pulled over a suspicious vehicle Tuesday and the 20-year-old suspect fled on foot. He sprayed himself while trying to discard the can of bear-repellent pepper spray.

Police say the man is a prolific offender facing charges of fleeing police, possession of stolen property and breach of probation.

The man, whom police didn’t name, is being held in police custody and will be appearing in court today.

Paramedics were called to the arrest scene to treat the self-inflicted injuries to the man’s face.’


terms

Prison for Man Who Aided Suicide

‘A man who gave a loaded gun to his suicidal friend to “snap her out of it” and then watched in shock as she killed herself was sentenced Friday to up to five years in prison for his role in her death. [..]

He wiped away tears throughout his sentencing, then apologized to Choquette’s family and his own.

“My deepest condolences and most heartfelt apologies,” he said haltingly, often trailing off to regain his composure. “I had a much better speech, apology, if you want, but that’s really all I can get through at this point.” [..]

When she threatened suicide, he said he tried “calling her bluff” by retrieving and loading a 9mm Beretta he had purchased from her late father. Choquette lifted it to her head and killed herself just a few feet away from him.

He told police her last words were: “I’m going to do it, and you’re going to watch.”‘


report

Dad Accused Of Forcing Girl To Stab Pet Cat

‘An Indiana father has been jailed for allegedly forcing his 7-year-old daughter to kill the family’s cat.

The cat, named Boots, was stabbed to death last Sunday.

According to the arrest affidavit, Daniel Collins said he wanted his children to “learn how to kill.”

Police said Collins gave his son the knife first, but the 11-year-old boy hid the cat and put ketchup on the knife to simulate blood.

They said that when the father realized the cat was still alive, he forced the knife into his daughter’s hand and made her stab the cat.

Police said Collins finally stabbed and strangled the cat himself and had his son throw the carcass in the trash.’


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Reporting From The Bottom Of A Sled Run

‘Oh, jeez!’

(1.2meg Flash video)

see it here »


conditions

Iraq: teachers told to rewrite history

‘Britain’s biggest teachers’ union has accused the Ministry of Defence of breaking the law over a lesson plan drawn up to teach pupils about the Iraq war. The National Union of Teachers claims it breaches the 1996 Education Act, which aims to ensure all political issues are treated in a balanced way.

Teachers will threaten to boycott military involvement in schools at the union’s annual conference next weekend, claiming the lesson plan is a “propaganda” exercise and makes no mention of any civilian casualties as a result of the war.

They believe the instructions, designed for use during classroom discussions in general studies or personal, social and health education (PSE) lessons, are arguably an attempt to rewrite the history of the Iraq invasion just as the world prepares to mark its fifth anniversary.’


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50 people looking for solar image of Mary lose sight

‘At least 50 people in Kottayam district have reportedly lost their vision after gazing at the sun looking for an image of Virgin Mary.

Though alarmed health authorities have installed a signboard to counter the rumour that a solar image of Virgin Mary appeared to the believers, curious onlookers, including foreign travellers, have been thronging the venue of the ‘miracle’

St Joseph’s ENT and Eye Hospital in Kanjirappally alone has recorded 48 cases of vision loss due to photochemical burns on the retina. “All our patients have similar history and symptoms. The damage is to the macula, the most sensitive part of retina. They have developed photochemical, not thermal, burns after continuously gazing at the sun,” Dr Annamma James Isaac, the hospital’s ophthalmologist, said. [..]

The health department has now put up a signboard at the hotelier’s house near Erumeli, where the divine image is said to have appeared, warning people against exposing their eyes to sunlight.’


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