‘Me: caucasian, white yoga capris and tan tank top
you: Latino, 5′8, in your twenties, sports jersey, short hair, mole on your face.
You might have been following me for a while, Mr. Perv, I don’t know - I was on the phone with my mother, venting about my roommate situation (we had to find a new one) and my job search (like, I need a job), when you snuck up behind me, and gently squeezed my ass. Not just the top of my ass, but kinda low, kinda close to my you-know-what, if you know what I mean.
You know, even my boyfriend needs permission to get that close, so having a perfect stranger attempt access so suddenly, so completely out of the blue, triggered my fight-or-flight response. And I *fight*. [..]’
‘The bedridden woman, who weighs nearly half a ton - 1,000 pounds or over 71 stone - is accused of killing her two-year-old nephew.
A grand jury indicted Mayra Lizbeth Rosales, 27, on a charge of first degree murder on Thursday and ordered her bail be set at $150,000.
Hidalgo County District Attorney Rene Guerra Rosales told local television news he hoped to take the woman into custody as early as Friday but did not go into detail as to how this would be done.
Lupe Trevino, Hidalgo County Sheriff, said holding Rosales at the county jail for the duration of her trial would be impossible because she needs extensive medical care.
“She would die,” said Mr Trevino.’
‘James Robinson is a retired Air National Guard brigadier general and a commercial pilot for a major airline who flies passenger planes around the country.
Eight-year-old James Robinson isn’t sure what “terrorist” means, but he’s on the government list, too.
He has even been certified by the Transportation Security Administration to carry a weapon into the cockpit as part of the government’s defense program should a terrorist try to commandeer a plane.
But there’s one problem: James Robinson, the pilot, has difficulty even getting to his plane because his name is on the government’s terrorist “watch list.”
That means he can’t use an airport kiosk to check in; he can’t do it online; he can’t do it curbside. Instead, like thousands of Americans whose names match a name or alias used by a suspected terrorist on the list, he must go to the ticket counter and have an agent verify that he is James Robinson, the pilot, and not James Robinson, the terrorist.
“Shocking’s a good word; frustrating,” Robinson — the pilot — said. “I’m carrying a weapon, flying a multimillion-dollar jet with passengers, but I’m still screened as, you know, on the terrorist watch list.”‘
‘A British man has been banned from visiting his girlfriend’s home after neighbours complained about noisy sex, a local official said today.
A court barred Adam Hinton, 32, from being within 100 metres of his 29-year-old girlfriend Kerry Norris’ apartment, Brighton and Hove City Council spokesman Mike Taggart said.
Residents of Norris’s home had been complaining since 2006 about thumping music, banging headboards and screamed obscenities, Taggart said.
Neighbours also complained about Norris sunbathing naked in her yard, and were upset that a six-year-old child in the building had been “subjected to the sort of obscenities you wouldn’t want a six-year-old to hear,” the spokesman said.’
‘First off, I must say that I admire your courage. It must be hard living in the world today as a lady-beast. Society judges, oh lord do they ever.
With that said, let’s get down to business. Over the past year, we’ve had a funny sort of relationship, you and I. When I first moved into the place, it was rather peaceful. It was an exciting time in my life, as it was the first time I would be living by myself. Then came the day that I first heard it. What did I hear you ask? It was sound of your hooves galloping across the hardwood floors of your living room. At the time I thought, “No big deal, surely it can’t always be like this.” Oh was I wrong. It turned out that every time I was at home, you would be up there, stomping around, like the wild lady-beast that you are.
After a few weeks, I determined through a process of elimination, that you are in fact, a Minotaur. It only makes sense.’
‘We’ve all done it. Someone asks for your phone number and you gladly give it, only to later realize you gave them one number out of order or something and they’re calling some random stranger now.
A UK police department did much the same thing, except instead of a phone number it was a website and instead of reaching some random guy they saw several random guys do some very adult oriented things to each other.
The police department in Sussex, a county in the South of England, was attempting to promote Operation Beat Sweep, a massive program aimed at helping end crime by tackling anti-social behaviour in the community.
To help promote the initiative they passed out leaflets on Operation Beat Sweep. The leaflets encouraged anybody who had further questions to visit the police website at www.sussexpolice.co.uk. There’s just one problem, the actual URL for Sussex Police is www.sussex.police.uk. The first URL, and the one the leaflet encouraged citizens to visit, is actually a hardcore gay porn site.’
‘A lawsuit filed Monday in California seeks class action status alleging that Apple denied technical staffers required overtime pay and meal compensation in violation of state law.
Filed in the US District Court for Southern California, the complaint claims that many Apple employees are routinely subjected to working conditions resembling indentured servitude.
Lead plaintiff David Walsh was employed by Apple as a network engineer from 1995 until 2007. His complaint says he was often required to work more than 40 hours per week, miss meals, and spend his evenings and even entire weekends on call without any overtime pay or meal compensation. He fielded technical support calls that often came after 11 pm.’
I assume they’re trying to raise money for retarded aeroplane pilots or something. 
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‘What a day. Just after I’d hit the publish button on the blog below, musing about what the big news was that the Phoenix lander was rumoured to have discovered about the ‘potential for life’ on Mars, I received a NASA email suggesting Phoenix may have actually found a chemical that might harm life.
It seems that the lander’s wet chemistry lab, part of its MECA instrument, has detected what seems to be perchlorate, a highly oxidising substance, in two soil samples it has studied.
But so far it’s been difficult to confirm the detection with another onboard instrument called TEGA. A soil sample studied by TEGA on Sunday - taken from just above a layer of ice - found no evidence of the compound. But TEGA had found that an earlier sample of soil, taken from near the surface, was “consistent with but not conclusive of the presence of perchlorate”, said principal investigator Peter Smith in a statement.’
‘As opening day for the 2008 Summer Olympics draws near, thousands of Chinese villagers are in training. Loading up artillery shells and readying rocket launchers, they await a call to arms.
The villagers aren’t part of some civilian security corps. They’re part of China’s weather modification program. Their mission: to shoot dust into threatening clouds in advance of the opening ceremony Friday in Beijing.
Rain will not be allowed to dampen this Olympic flame.
China is home to one of the oldest, largest and most costly weather modification programs in the world. [..]
That has meteorologists and weather modifiers in the United States chuckling. The thought of being asked to seed clouds to prevent rain on Super Bowl Sunday, for example, makes them snort. [..]
Recalling the fate of China’s former food and drug administrator, who was executed for corruption amid product safety scandals, Ahlness, at Weather Modification Inc., said his sympathies were with the Chinese scientists charged with holding the umbrella.
“I don’t think I’d want to run their weather modification program,” Ahlness said. “I hope they have clear weather just so they don’t have to try anything.”‘
Followup to Weather Engineering in China.
‘Up to 20 heavy vehicles and large pieces of equipment are stolen from NSW construction sites every week and sold on black markets as far away as South America and South Africa.
Thieves are making off with equipment worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.
They are helped by the extraordinary fact that a universal key operates most of the machinery.
There were 1174 heavy vehicle thefts in the year to June 30, with only a 68 per cent recovery rate, the National Motor Vehicle Theft Reduction Council found.
The trafficking of stolen heavy equipment is two-way between Australia and the world.
The Australian buyer of a second-hand backhoe from Britain found a 9mm pistol and ammunition secreted in the dashboard. British police found the backhoe, tractors and excavators had been stolen and shipped to Australia.’
‘On the last day of his life, Dallas Carter sat down in his apartment and addressed a letter “TO Whom it my concert.”
He was not a good speller and he could not read well, but the 44-year-old father stitched together, on green construction paper, the last will and testament of a poor man. It ran three pages, 380 words, and it began with the formality of a legal document.
I, Dallas D. Carter, …
This was before the police arrived, before gunshots lit the night and the children fled apartment B28.
… buy the time you get this letter I will be gone or dead. it’s not a good letter. sometime people do dump thing I’m not really a bad person Just life gets away from me sometime …
Before that Saturday night, no one would have expected Dallas Carter to do what he did.’
‘Children screamed in fear when they found a naked body of a man on their way to school in Alice Springs yesterday.
Witnesses said it appeared the caucasian man had been half-eaten by dogs.
Residents of the Hidden Valley town camp in Alice Springs east made the gruesome discovery about 8am yesterday.
A man was driving a group of about five children to school when they came across the body. It lay just off the road close to the town camp’s entrance. [..]
The children’s grandfather described the scene as “horrific”.
The grandfather said: “A lot of meat was torn out of one leg and an arm. I think a dog made a meal of him. [..]’
‘Queensland will become hotter and super-cyclones will batter the coast as far south as Brisbane by 2070, the nation’s top scientists have warned.
In a top-level ministerial briefing note seen by The Courier-Mail, the Reef and Rainforest Research Centre, the co-ordinating body for the nation’s 15 peak scientific bodies, offers stark predictions about climate change. [..]
The latest climate change projections predict that by 2030: Average annual temperature will increase by between 0.6C and 1.2C, and that after 2030, the rate of increase will be highly dependent on emission levels.
Also, cyclones will be stronger, more frequent and last longer, and the region of cyclone activity will shift southwards, affecting areas 300km further south by 2070.
Local sea levels will be 13 to 20cm above 1990 levels, and 49 to 89cm above 1990 levels by 2070.’
‘The Michigan wedding of Durango newlyweds Andy and Ania Somora came to an abrupt end last weekend after the bride and groom were tasered by local police and spent their wedding night in jail.
Police arrest Ania Somora at her wedding reception Saturday night at Burnison Art Gallery in Chikaming Township, Mich.
According to a news release from the Chikaming Township (Mich.) Police Department, Officer Jeff Enders responded Saturday to the Burnison Art Gallery in Lakeside, Mich., after gallery owner Judi Burnison asked for assistance with unruly guests at the Somoras’ wedding reception. [..]
Skowron said the crowd got particularly unruly after police handcuffed Andy Somora’s father and put him in the back of a police cruiser. He said the elder Somora, whom he described as “a distinguished older gentleman,” was trying to talk to Enders to defuse the situation.
“I didn’t believe it, but I witnessed it. It was brutal, and that’s when Andy got really mad,” he said.
Skowron said Andy Somora had to be restrained by police and was tasered at least twice. His wife also received a shock because she was touching her husband during one of the incidents. Skowron said husband and wife were both arrested, but Chikaming police would not confirm that claim, and no mention of the use of a taser is included in the news release.’
‘Katie Holmes has been wearing gloves and long sleeve shirts with the sleeves pulled down over her hands, in order to cover their freakish purple coloration.
It’s rumored that Katie may have taken part in a Scientology purification ritual that caused her hands to turn purple.
According to reports, the purification ritual is called the Purification Rundown or Purif, which is the process of taking ‘vitamin bombs’ to get ‘toxins’ out of their bodies.
It’s reported that in almost every single case, Scientology founder Hubbard recommends dosages in his teachings that are well above the safe limits, in some cases as much as 142 times more than the toxic level. The side effects of such huge overdoses range from liver damage, hair loss, brain swelling and nausea up to fatal heart and respiratory failure.’
‘I was twenty-one and barely a man when the horror came. It has stuck with me to this day, a dark spirit that looms over my shoulder whenever a quiet moment comes over me and leaves me free to think. The shape of the horror has been burned into my mind’s background noise. It has become something that I have to see the same way I have to see a purple after-image after I stare at a bright light source. As hard as it is to see some things, still other things are harder to unsee. God, how I wish I could.
What I saw in that five by five metal shack in the oil fields will follow me till my dying day.’
‘Three Chinese reporters attending a police briefing on the success of an anti-gun campaign were accidentally shot, media reports say.
An officer picked up one of the weapons on show - a confiscated home-made gun - but it went off in his hand.
A reporter needed surgery for injuries to his ankle, crotch and chest, after being hit by what appeared to be pebbles fired by the gun.
Two others were slightly injured in the incident in Nanchong, southern China.’
‘Investigators and a grandmother are trying to make sense of a sign found posted in a New Braunfels neighborhood. Is it a joke or something more sinister?
There are plenty of signs at the pool you would expect to see - “No Lifeguard on Duty” and “No Diving.” But a woman who lives in the neighborhood didn’t expect to see a sign with the words “Pool’s Closed” - with the image of a black man - posted on the gate.
Isabelle and Nicholas Martinez are visiting their grandmother and love spending time at the pool. Mary Alice Altorfer says she’ll keep taking them there, despite the sign.
“This kind of stuff is old, and it’s ugly and tired,” says Altorfer. “It’s time for it to be buried.”
Altorfer says the pool wasn’t closed at all. She sensed the real message was racist and directed at her grandchildren.’
‘Up to 30 partygoers at an outdoor rave have been partially blinded by a laser light show.
Health officials confirmed 12 cases of laser-blindness from the event, with reports suggesting up to 17 more.
Some of those affected have lost up to 80 per cent of their vision.
Guests at the Aquamarine Open Air Festival in Kirzhach, Russia, began seeking medical help days after the show, complaining of vision problems.
Lasers like these were erected inside giant tents at the Aquamarine Open Air Festival in Kirzhach, Russia, after heavy rain. Up to 30 ravers suffered permanent damage to their vision.
Heavy rain had forced organisers of the event, which took place on July 5 in the town 50 miles outside Moscow, to put up tents for the all-night dance party.
The lasers, which are designed to illuminate the sky, were reflected by the canopy into the eyes of the ravers, burning their retinas.’
‘Chemistry pupils have flunked O-level questions from 50 years ago, deepening fears that the subject is being dumbed down.
The teenagers were unable to answer questions from the 1960s and 1970s set by the Royal Society of Chemistry.
The average mark for the 1960s questions was just 16 per cent. [..]
Even bright pupils were baffled by many of the old questions, said the RSC chief executive, Richard Pike.
He added: ‘There is no doubt that the clever pupils are as sharp as they ever were, but most are being stifled by an educational system that does not encourage more detailed problem-solving and rigorous thinking.”
‘A Washington woman said she filed a federal lawsuit accusing a Miami hospital of “anti-gay animus” after workers refused to let her see her dying partner.
Janice Langbehn and her partner Lisa Marie Pond, both aged 39, intended to enjoy a vacation cruise with three of their four children, marking the women’s 18 years as a couple in February 2007, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported Thursday.
The trip abruptly ended when Pond had a massive stroke as the ship was preparing to leave port, the newspaper said.
She was taken to Miami’s Jackson Memorial Hospital, where Langbehn said workers would not let her see her ailing partner.
A social worker allegedly said the couple was in an “anti-gay city and state.”‘
That looks fairly painful. That’ll teach him I s’pose.
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‘Grief is universal, and most of us will probably experience the pain grief brings at some point in our lives, usually with the death of a loved one. In time, we move on, accepting the loss.
But for a substantial minority, it’s impossible to let go, and even years later, any reminder of their loss — a picture, a memory — brings on a fresh wave of grief and yearning. The question is, why? Why do some grieve and ultimately adapt, while others can’t get over the loss of someone held dear?
Reporting in the journal NeuroImage, scientists at UCLA suggest that such long-term or “complicated” grief activates neurons in the reward centers of the brain, possibly giving these memories addiction-like properties [..]’
‘A man bitten on the penis by a deadly snake has told how he used a cold rum can to soothe the pain while he rang his mother to say a final goodbye.
“I thought I was gone,” Daryl Zutt said of his now notorious encounter with a brown snake during a roadside toilet stop in remote far north Queensland, The Cairns Post reported.
“I thought, ‘Maybe, this is it. Maybe, I’m gonna cark it’.”
The Cairns Post revealed details of the bizarre encounter two weeks ago but the identity of the victim remained unknown until Mr Zutt came forward to tell how the brown snake took a near-fatal swipe as he relieved himself.
“I squatted down … I reckon I must’ve nearly sat on his head,” he said.
“As soon as I felt it, I yelled.
“It really hurt. [..]’
Followup to Deadly snake bites man’s penis.
‘He’s dead! Motherfucker!’
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It’s not a good idea at all.
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‘The following events are completely true.
I met a girl on Match.com and we chatted for about two weeks before going out for the first time last Saturday. The plan was she meet me at my apartment then we would go for a walk and grab a drink or some coffee.
7:00 PM - I call her to let her know I was now home and she could meet me anytime. She says she will be over in 30 minutes.
8:00 PM - She shows up to my place. At first she seamed kind of spacey which I wrote off as her being nervous. [..]’
‘My bedroom is a converted attic accessed by retractable metal ladders.
I fought my brother for this room at the young age of 12, and being the eldest it really was no contest.
You see at this young age I had already foreseen the benefits of being able to pull the ladders up and shut myself away from the world.
Actually, if I may take this chance to say a few things.
My 15,16,17 and 18 year old would like to thank my 12 yr self for providing the freedom to masturbate at will.
My 19, 20, 21, and 22-year-old self, thank my 12-year-old self for giving me the freedom to shag girlfriends in a fully occupied house.
My 23 yr old self however is less greatful and would have no qualms about kicking my 12 yr old self in his pre pubescent nutsack…..and ill tell you why.’
‘A footage of the first polar bear seen in Iceland in 20 years being shot dead by police has been posted online.
The bear, an adult male weighing around 250kg, was presumed to have swum some 300km from Greenland or from a distant chunk of Arctic ice to Skagafjordur in northern Iceland.
It was planned to sedate the animal and move it back to Greenland but the police decided it was safest to kill the bear immediately.
“There was fog up in the hills and we took the decision to kill the bear before it could disappear into the fog”, said police spokesman Petur Bjornsson.’
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