‘A couple telephoned police in the middle of the night after finding a man in their basement covered head to toe in barbecue sauce.
“He told the officers that it was urban camouflage,” said the homeowner.
This happened in Wisconsin.
The homeowners say they woke up to whistling sounds.
The husband grabbed his shotgun and headed toward the basement where he found the sauced-up intruder.
He held him at gunpoint until police arrived.
The guy told officers he covered himself in barbecue sauce because he wanted to hide from the government.
He now faces burglary charges.’
‘Police killed a 27-year-old man as he kicked, punched and stomped a toddler to death despite other people’s attempts to stop him on a dark, country road, authorities said.
Investigators on Sunday were trying to establish the relationship between the suspect and the child they say he killed Saturday night. The Stanislaus County coroner said the boy appeared to be between 1 and 2 years old based on his size, according to county sheriff’s deputy Royjindar Singh.
“It’s been a long night of wondering, ‘Why?’ — not only for the officers and the passers-by who stopped and tried to help out, but for anyone. Why would somebody do this?” Singh said.
Singh said the coroner does not plan to confirm the identities of the suspect and victim until Monday. Because his injuries were so severe, the child will have to be identified through a blood or DNA test, he said.’
‘Transit police have identified the man seen with a young girl on-board a bus at Sullivan Station Sunday night.
Officers have met with both the young girl, and the family member who was with her on the bus.
A passenger noticed a man holding the child’s hand. That passenger says she overheard the girl say she was hungry, and the man told her to “Please be quiet.”
T police say there was no criminal conduct. They consider the case closed.’
‘The following events are completely true.
I met a girl on Match.com and we chatted for about two weeks before going out for the first time last Saturday. The plan was she meet me at my apartment then we would go for a walk and grab a drink or some coffee.
7:00 PM - I call her to let her know I was now home and she could meet me anytime. She says she will be over in 30 minutes.
8:00 PM - She shows up to my place. At first she seamed kind of spacey which I wrote off as her being nervous. [..]’
Gimme some of that sugar!
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‘Automatic car features are supposed to make life easier for motorists, but they may be leaving some people without the know-how to do things the old-fashioned way. That’s what happened to a driver in Utah County who became trapped inside her own car.
A woman called Orem police Friday afternoon needing help because her battery died and she was locked inside her car.
When police arrived, they found the woman sitting in the car, unable to get herself out. She couldn’t hear the officers instructions through the rolled-up windows so she motioned to them to call her on her cell phone, according to police.
Once officers were able to talk to the woman on the phone, they were able to tell her how to manually operate the slide lock mechanism on the inside door panel to open the door and free herself.
“I’m just glad she had a cell phone to call for help,” an officer said.’
‘ A homeless woman lived in the closet of a Japanese man for one year before she was found and arrested.
Apparently the fact that someone was living in his home wasn’t enough to tip him off. It took the fact that food was missing from his house to give him a hint that something was wrong. Since he lived alone, and didn’t have any rats, he installed security cameras in his rooms and set them up to transmit to his mobile phone.
Shortly after, he saw something in those images, and thinking that there was a burglar in the house, he called the police. When the police arrived, they found the house locked, but when they entered the house they found something they didn’t expect.’
‘A call for a woman armed with a taser at a high school Wednesday morning turned out to be a man in a dress. [..]
“As we were walking up to the classroom, I saw some guy in a dress, in pink rubber boots. It looked pretty ridiculous, I’m not going to lie,” said senior Ian Metz. He says he wasn’t scared by the stranger until he thought he saw a gun in the man’s hand.
It was actually a taser, but it was enough to send Metz running into class to tell his teacher.
“It’s going to sound completely out of nowhere, but there’s a man out there with a gun and pink boots,” Metz told his teacher. [..]
“He has posted a lot of things on the internet that certainly need to be cleared up,” said Cmdr. Tor Bjornstad, Olympia Police. [..]
In the Capital High School Tragedy posting, there is a thread that reads “In about an hour or so, teens from Capital High School will be parking out from my house, and littering as usual. If i (sic) SHOOT ONE, perhaps the FIRST ONE TO PARK OUTSIDE, Can i (sic) PLEASE HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT MY GENDER ISSUES?”‘
‘A donkey has been sent to prison in southern Mexico for a brutal case of ass-ault and battery.
The animal was locked up at a local jail that normally holds people for public drunkenness and other disturbances after it bit and kicked two men near a ranch in the state of Chiapas.
The two victims accuse it of biting one of them in the chest and then kicking the other as he came to the rescue, fracturing his ankle.
Police said it took half a dozen men to control the enraged beast.’
This is bizarre, but really cool. It gets somewhat more interesting as it progresses. 
Peace, love, ecstasy..
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‘A 13 year old from Texas who stole his Dad’s credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order.
Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father’s existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing “Halo” on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel.
The credit card company involved said it was regular practice to send extra credit cards out as long as all security questions are answered.
The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business. [..]
Ralph’s ambition is to one day become a politician.’
‘Highly intoxicated and dissatisfied with her sex life, a 28-year-old woman was arrested Tuesday for stealing her husband’s wallet and later assaulting the deputy who booked her into jail.
The meltdown, which deputies witnessed along with the couple’s 3- and 4-year-old children, started when the husband, 24, had told his wife they had three hours to quit smoking, drinking, swearing and engaging in some sex acts because “they were going to be good Christians now,” the woman said.
The man said she had woken him up to have relations, but then became disappointed and angry. [..]
When deputies arrived, the woman denied any assault had taken place, and repeatedly, without sparing a vulgar euphemism, told the deputies about how unsatisfied she was with her sex life — some of the time carrying around a half-gallon of whiskey while doing so.
During an argument with one of the deputies, the woman picked up the family’s 20-pound dog and threw it at the deputy, who caught it, the report said.’
‘A German man survived a 25ft plunge down a lift shaft when he landed on a woman who had fallen down it a day before.
Jens Wilhelms, 27, was unhurt after landing on the 57-year-old woman and managed to free himself from the shaft at the apartment block in Frankfurt am Main where he lived.
He called out rescue services who took the woman to hospital. Doctors said she is in a critical condition after sustaining injuries in her original fall - and then again when Wilhelms landed on her.
Police spokesman Manfred Vonhausen said: “The woman had been lying unconscious in the shaft for some time already.’
‘A Bay Shore man was arrested Saturday morning after booby-trapping his apartment door with a crutch, an elastic cord and a large knife, Suffolk police said.
Eric Stetz, of Brook Avenue, was charged with reckless endangerment after the building superintendent discovered the ready-to-stab device while trying to open Stetz’s door Thursday, police said.
The superintendent and a Verizon agent had come to Stetz’s home for a visit the super had warned Stetz would be necessary, police said. When their knocks went unanswered — Stetz was not home — the super went to open the door, felt resistance and found the rigged contraption, police said. [..]
Stetz was not charged in connection with a similar booby trap installed on a bedroom door in the apartment, said Sgt. Kevin Beyrer of the Third Precinct.
Stetz’s mother, Freda Stetz, said her son had rigged the device with a steak knife to protect himself from squatters who had taken up residence in the building.’
‘Internet griefers descended on an epilepsy support message board last weekend and used JavaScript code and flashing computer animation to trigger migraine headaches and seizures in some users.
The nonprofit Epilepsy Foundation, which runs the forum, briefly closed the site Sunday to purge the offending messages and to boost security.
“We are seeing people affected,” says Ken Lowenberg, senior director of web and print publishing at the Epilepsy Foundation. “It’s fortunately only a handful. It’s possible that people are just not reporting yet — people affected by it may not be coming back to the forum so fast.”
The incident, possibly the first computer attack to inflict physical harm on the victims, began Saturday, March 22, when attackers used a script to post hundreds of messages embedded with flashing animated gifs.
The attackers turned to a more effective tactic on Sunday, injecting JavaScript into some posts that redirected users’ browsers to a page with a more complex image designed to trigger seizures in both photosensitive and pattern-sensitive epileptics.’
People are cunts.
‘Two hoax ads on Craigslist cost a Jacksonville man thousands of dollars in property Saturday and could land the pranksters in jail on theft and burglary charges.
The classified ads popped up Saturday afternoon on the Web site saying the owner of a home in the 7900 block of Sterling Creek Road was forced to leave the area suddenly and that his belongings, including a horse, were free for the taking, said Jackson County sheriff’s Detective Sgt. Colin Fagan.
The only problem is that Robert Salisbury has no plans of leaving his home any time soon.
Salisbury, who works as an independent contractor, was at Emigrant Lake when he received a call from a woman had stopped by his house to claim his horse.
On his way home he stopped a truck loaded down with his work ladders, lawn mower and weed eater.’
‘Marriage to a pokemon is nothing strange I feel, you an share love with them just as much as you can with a person.
However it would feel strange to me to marry my partner pokemon Houndoom, because it feels like we are of the same soul and same family, it would be like marrying my clone or something like that!
But i still love him very much <3′
‘Well, if I have to teach you how to be a reporter..’
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‘An Indiana father has been jailed for allegedly forcing his 7-year-old daughter to kill the family’s cat.
The cat, named Boots, was stabbed to death last Sunday.
According to the arrest affidavit, Daniel Collins said he wanted his children to “learn how to kill.”
Police said Collins gave his son the knife first, but the 11-year-old boy hid the cat and put ketchup on the knife to simulate blood.
They said that when the father realized the cat was still alive, he forced the knife into his daughter’s hand and made her stab the cat.
Police said Collins finally stabbed and strangled the cat himself and had his son throw the carcass in the trash.’
‘Deputies said a woman in western Kansas sat on her boyfriend’s toilet for two years, and they’re investigating whether she was mistreated.
Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said a man called his office last month to report that something was wrong with his girlfriend.
Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman’s skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.
“We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital,” Whipple said. “The hospital removed it.”‘
‘A man beheaded his 15-month-old nephew in front of his mother in a supermarket in Saudi Arabia apparently after a family dispute, newspapers reported.
The 25-year-old Syrian national picked up a knife from the store in the Red Sea city of Jeddah yesterday and decapitated the little boy in full view of shoppers, Arab News said.
The man apparently killed the little boy following a dispute with the man’s sister and brother-in-law, the English-language daily said.
“He chopped off the boy’s head in front of the mother to get back at her,” a police officer was quoted as saying. The mother fainted and was taken to hospital.’
‘A 40-year-old Central Florida woman is accused of sexually abusing a 16-year-old girl with yellow chili peppers.
Investigators said the woman, who works at the Carnagie Gardens Nursing Home Center in Melbourne, beat the victim with an iron and iron cord after she arrived home.
She said she was also sexually abused with the peppers while she tried to shower.
The girl then reported the attack to a teacher the next day and a nurse’s exam confirmed the abuse, police said.’
‘Footage of a mother repeatedly raped in front of her screaming children posted on YouTube has sparked calls for the video sharing website to be moderated.
The 25-year-old woman, who said her glass of champagne was spiked by three teenage boys when they visited her London home in November, said the three-minute mobile phone footage of of her horrific ordeal was watched by 600 people.
The woman said she was unable to move, but fully aware during the hours-long attack.
“They just hurt me the whole way through. They had no respect,” she told Sky News.
“Afterwards one pissed on me, like I was nothing. [..]
“Putting (the video) on the internet was an abomination,” the mother said.
“I was raped on film and you could hear my daughter and four-year-old son crying. I cannot understand how any website could show such a thing.”‘
‘A website promoting the town of Mildenhall has been shut down after it unintentionally became the recipient of hundreds of classified emails, including messages detailing the planned flight path of President Bush.
Over more than a decade, www.mildenhall.com received emails detailing all kinds of secret military information that were intended for official Air Force personnel. One detailed where Air Force One could be found in the air during a planned visit to the region by President Bush. Others included battlefield strategy and passwords.
“I was being sent everything from banal chat and jokes, to videos up to 15mb in size,” Gary Sinnott, owner of mildenhall.com, said in this article in EDP 24. “Some were classified, some were personal. A lot had some really sensitive information in them.” [..]
Sinnott says he brought the SNAFU to the attention of Air Force officials but was never able to get the problem fixed. At first, they didn’t seem to take the matter seriously, but eventually, they “went mental,” he said. Officials advised Sinnott to block unrecognizable addresses from his domain and set up an auto-reply reminding people of the address for the official air force base.’
‘Who really know what I’m lookin’ at, you know what I’m sayin’?’
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This man runs in a treadmill whilst simultaneously painting, blending fruit in a blender, and taking phone calls from people.
The painting isn’t very good, the fruit drink probably isn’t going to be very tasty, and the calls are all abusive.
Funny.
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Heathcliff, it’s me! Kathy!
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‘The man accused of murdering a model said he was “totally disgusted” with himself for having sex with her corpse.
Mark Dixie, accused of killing Sally Anne Bowman, said he did not realise she was dead until after he had sex with her body, the Old Bailey heard.
He said he became suspicious when the teenager did not react to bites on her face and body.
Mr Dixie, 37, denies murdering the 18-year-old in Croydon, south London, during a sex attack, in September 2005.
Giving evidence, he said: “I don’t know what went through my mind. I took full advantage of someone and I should not have done it.”‘
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