Posts tagged as: wtf?

Thursday, June 17, 2010

 

U.S. Man Arrested for ‘Hunting’ Bin Laden

‘An American construction worker who was arrested with a 40-inch sword, a pistol and night-vision goggles in northwestern Pakistan told investigators Tuesday that he wanted to kill Osama bin Laden to avenge the 2001 terrorist attacks on the U.S.

Gary Brooks Faulkner, 50 years old, of Greeley, Colo., was caught by Pakistani police Monday in the remote Bumburat Valley near the border of Afghanistan’s Nuristan province, where he apparently hoped to find Mr. bin Laden.

Police quoted Mr. Faulkner as saying he wanted to avenge the victims of the attacks on New York and Washington. He was carrying Christian religious books, according to Mumtaz Ahmed Khan, a senior police officer in the northwestern town of Chitral. [..]

Dr. Faulkner said his brother also brought wire ties to use as handcuffs on Mr. bin Laden. He said that if Mr. Faulkner, who must undergo dialysis three times a week, killed or captured Mr. bin Laden, he planned to use his reward money to retire to Nicaragua, where he would help locals build houses.’


copyright

Saturday, September 19, 2009

 

Texas death row inmate tears out own eye, eats it

‘A death row inmate in Texas tore out his eyeball with his fingers and ate it, leaving him blind after he gouged out his other eye several years ago, the state’s department of criminal justice said on Friday.

“We don’t know how it happened,” said Jason Clark, a spokesman for the department. “There are no indications that he used anything other than his hands.”

Andre Thomas, 25, was now in a secure psychiatric facility after he pulled out his left eye last month at the death row unit in Livingston in eastern Texas, Clark said.

Thomas was condemned for killing his wife, son and infant stepdaughter in 2004, according to the department’s brief account of the case. Local media reports said he had ripped out the hearts of his victims.’


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Saturday, September 12, 2009

 

Michigan Mom Found Long-Lost Son Online, Raped Him

‘Michigan police say a 35-year-old mother used the Internet to track down the son she gave up for adoption a decade ago, seducing and raping the teenage boy when she found him after an online search.

Aimee Louise Sword of Waterford Township, near Detroit, was arraigned this week on three charges of criminal sexual conduct for the alleged rape of her biological son, whom she put up for adoption more than 10 years ago, MyFOXDetroit reported.

Prosecutors say the boy is still a minor, but won’t disclose whether he knew the woman was his mother — a situation that has horrified mental health experts who are calling the case “an abomination.” [..]

Sword’s attorney Kenneth Burch told the Press that his client “maintains her presumption of innocence” and said the accusations of incest have been very difficult for her.’


Friday, August 28, 2009

 

Ultimate Muscle Roller Legend

I don’t know why this exists or what it’s for.

(10.2meg Flash video)

see it here »


forum

Monday, January 26, 2009

 

An explanation to the unfortunate waitress who had my table.

‘I entered your fine eatery alone today. You greeted me with a great big smile and I was smitten immediately. You are gorgeous and exactly my type, down to the perfume you so delicately shared with me as you passed by. I’m really a normal guy and I’d like to explain myself. Perhaps we can put today’s unfortunate events aside and start over in a few weeks, should I be lucky enough you read this.

Men are pigs. This is a simple fact of life. I’ll be the first to admit it. That said, I was admiring you work for a while and was becoming more and more attracted to you. The more I watched, not all stalker like mind you, the more I was sure you were in fact as beautiful as I had first observed. When you came back to my table and offered to top off my coffee, I was so focused on being close to you, so enamored, I failed to recognize what was going on in my pants. I could not be more sorry.

What I FELT was something foreign moving in my pants. What was ACTUALLY happening was, I was getting an erection. My first gut reaction was to immediately, without hesitation, rain death down upon this uninvited intruder. Kill it before it killed me. [..]‘


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

 

Kids Attack Redheads on ‘Kick a Ginger’ Day

‘Inspired by a Facebook page, kids in Vancouver spent a day kicking and punching redheads for fun, the Vancouver Sun reports. Trouble is, being hit hurts. “I was amazed by the amount of people that kicked me,” said 13-year-old Aaron Mishkin, who figures he was assaulted about 80 times. An online group promoting “Kick a Ginger” day started it all.

The group’s 14-year-old creator, who based the page on a South Park episode, apologized and said it was intended as a joke. But after students went home with injuries and 20 kids were suspended at one middle school, the RCMP is investigating the group, saying it may have spurred a hate crime. “It’s really unprecedented,” one cyber-bullying expert said.’


faq

Sunday, November 23, 2008

 

Edison – The Menlo Park Drugs Baron

There are a few stories of Thomas Edison’s adventures. Science was extremely dodgy in the past. :) For example:

“I had read in a scientific paper the method of making nitroglycerine, and was so fired by the wonderful properties it was said to possess, that I determined to make some of the compound. We tested what we considered a very small quantity, but this produced such terrible and unexpected results that we became alarmed, the fact dawning upon us that we had a very large white elephant in our possession. At 6 A.M. I put the explosive into a sarsaparilla bottle, tied a string to it, wrapped it in a paper, and gently let it down into the sewer, corner of State and Washington Streets.”


e-mail

Friday, October 24, 2008

 

Online divorcee jailed after killing virtual hubby

‘A 43-year-old Japanese woman whose sudden divorce in a virtual game world made her so angry that she killed her online husband’s digital persona has been arrested on suspicion of hacking, police said Thursday.

The woman, who is jailed on suspicion of illegally accessing a computer and manipulating electronic data, used his identification and password to log onto popular interactive game “Maple Story” to carry out the virtual murder in mid-May, a police official in northern Sapporo said on condition of anonymity, citing department policy.

“I was suddenly divorced, without a word of warning. That made me so angry,” the official quoted her as telling investigators and admitting the allegations.

The woman had not plotted any revenge in the real world, the official said.’


guidelines

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

 

13-year-old girl wields knife at Casuarina Square mall

‘A girl allegedly held a knife to a shopper’s neck and stabbed a car – as a mother and two children hid inside – in a rampage at the Northern Territory’s largest shopping centre.

The 13-year-old wayward teenager, who has come to police attention more than 50 times, did not know her victims, the Northern Territory News reports.

Police said she was “enraged” and “highly agitated” after it is believed she lost a fist fight with another female juvenile in front of her peers near the shops about 30 minutes earlier.

The knife-wielding teenager’s frenzied rage happened in the underground carpark at Casuarina Square in Darwin about 4.30pm (CST) on Sunday.

Casuarina Police Station officer-in-charge Senior Sergeant John Ginnane said her actions were “unbelievable”.’


podcast

Chimp learns to be a firefighter

I’ve gotta move to Japan and get myself a monkey.

(20.4meg Flash video)

see it here »


Wednesday, October 15, 2008

 

Vicar accused of threatening herself

‘British authorities say a vicar stands accused of allegedly sending herself a dead hedgehog and dog feces to prove herself a crime victim.

The Rev. Janet Magee, 62, a Methodist minister, also claimed she was the victim of threatening phone calls and hate mail, which police determined she allegedly made and sent herself, the Daily Mail reported Monday.

Police reached their conclusions after secretly installing a closed circuit television camera in her home, the Mail reported, noting Magee is in on trial in Grimsby Crown Court for making false claims to police.

Magee, who allegedly tried to portray the hedgehog, dog feces, phone calls and hate mail as the work of people in her church, has been suspended as minister in charge of seven parishes on the Brigg and Barton-upon-Humbler Methodist Circuit, the Mail reported, noting Magee has pleaded innocent.’


Friday, August 29, 2008

 

Clifton Police arrest Ninjas

‘Two “modern day Ninjas” calling themselves Shinobi Warriors on a quest to rid the area of drug users and drug dealers have been put out of business by police.

On Wednesday at 2:35 a.m. police officers approached a car parked in the left lane of Route 46 east and found two Clifton men dressed in black claiming to be Ninjas. The men were wearing tactical vests and armed with knives in sheaths at their waists along with Ninja throwing knives, Chinese throwing stars, four-pointed tacks, swords, bows and arrows and nunchucks, said detective Capt. Robert Rowan.

The two men, Jesse Trojaniak, 19, and Tadieusz Tertkiewicz, 20, told police they were “modern day Ninjas” also called Shinobi Warriors on their way to deliver warning letters to known drug dealers and drug users to stop their “impure” activities. They told police they planned to leave the letters on the front doors of these individuals they had singled out.

Their weapons, Rowan said, were to be a precaution in case they were confronted by the drug dealers.

The officers located five envelopes decorated with red Chinese designs containing the letters to be delivered. Reports show the two men had already delivered one such letter to Tertkiewicz’ 16-year-old ex-girlfriend in Clifton. Police contacted the teen and her mother and alerted them to the situation. Tertkiewicz was charged with harassment, both were charged with weapons possession.’


Tuesday, August 26, 2008

 

Attempted Kidnapping of Princess Anne

‘On the 22nd May 1975 (1974) I was convicted, at the Old bailey, of attempting to kidnap Her Royal Highness Princess Anne.

From the accompanying document entitled ‘Hoax Explanation’ you can see that I did not attempt to kidnap Princess Anne – the whole incident was just an elaborate hoax.

You can also see, from the document, that it is easy to prove the incident was a hoax – all you have to do is prove that the incident took place on the 20th March 1975 and not the 20th March 1974 as the authorities are asserting. This will prove that is was a hoax because it means that, when I was outside, I was living one year behind everybody else and the amount of contact Frank and his associates would have had to have with me to maintain the time deception proves that it would have been impossible for me to plan and execute a real kidnap attempt.

£1MILLION REWARD

As I am desperate to get out of Broadmoor, I am offering a £1Million reward to the first person who proves the incident was a hoax.’


copyright

Sunday, August 17, 2008

 

Sexual harrassment okay as it ensures humans breed, Russian judge rules

‘A Russian advertising executive who sued her boss for sexual harassment lost her case after a judge ruled that employers were obliged to make passes at female staff to ensure the survival of the human race.

The unnamed executive, a 22-year-old from St Petersburg, had been hoping to become only the third woman in Russia’s history to bring a successful sexual harassment action against a male employer.

She alleged she had been locked out of her office after she refused to have intimate relations with her 47-year-old boss.

“He always demanded that female workers signalled to him with their eyes that they desperately wanted to be laid on the boardroom table as soon as he gave the word,” she earlier told the court. “I didn’t realise at first that he wasn’t speaking metaphorically.”

The judge said he threw out the case not through lack of evidence but because the employer had acted gallantly rather than criminally.

“If we had no sexual harassment we would have no children,” the judge ruled.’


feed

Friday, August 15, 2008

 

Dad ‘blows son up’

‘A Cambodian father and mechanic learned the hard way not to inflate children when he inserted an air hose designed to fill car tyres into his five-year-old son’s anus and blew him up, local media reported on Thursday.

The Khmer-language Rasmei Kampuchea daily reported Try Sienghym was “playing” with his son Sok Sambo when the incident took place.

The paper said the child’s stomach became distended and his concerned mother rushed him to hospital, where he remains in a stable condition and is expected to make a full recovery.

“The father very much regrets playing like this now,” the paper quoted a family member as saying.’


Wednesday, August 13, 2008

 

Cloned puppies may have exposed 31-year mystery

‘A woman who made news around the world when she had five pups cloned from her beloved pit bull Booger looked very familiar to some who saw her picture: She’s the same woman who 31 years earlier was accused of abducting a Mormon missionary in England, handcuffing him to a bed and making him her sex slave.

Dog lover Bernann McKinney acknowledged in a telephone call to The Associated Press on Saturday that she is indeed Joyce McKinney, who in 1977 became a British tabloid sensation when she faced charges of unlawful imprisonment in the missionary case. She jumped bail and was never brought to justice.

Through tears, she explained that she went public with her efforts to replicate Booger, who died two years ago, hoping people would be able to focus on that story rather than the ”garbage” of the past.

”I thought people would be honest enough to see me as a person who was trying to do something good and not as a celebrity,” McKinney told the AP. ”My mother always taught me, ‘Say something good or say nothing at all.”’

”I think I gave people too much credit,” she said.’

Follow up to US dog lover clones pet five times.


forum

Thursday, August 7, 2008

 

Fiend had ‘sex with 400 cows’

‘A twisted oddball with an insatiable animal fetish was arrested after allegedly having sex with 400 cows.

The 53-year-old cleaner told police he did not fancy women and only cows and horses got him randy.

Getulino Ferreira Paraizo said he chose the more tranquil animals before engaging in sex acts with them.

But police say it is even more bizarre.

They accuse him of torturing the animals, sometimes ripping out their eyes before having sex with them and then killing them.

Among the clues he left behind at every scene were empty packages of the same cookies.

Police found another packet on him when they arrested him.’


Wednesday, August 6, 2008

 

First pictures of knifeman suspected of decapitating sleeping bus passenger

‘Head bowed and feet shackled, a crazed knifeman suspected of decapitating a sleeping bus passenger and holding the head aloft for other passengers to see, is led into court.

Vince Weiguang Li, 40, of Edmonton, Alberta, was charged with second-degree murder and shuffled into the courtroom in Portage la Prairie, Manitoba.

Li, whose face was bruised and one hand bandaged, did not reply when the judge asked him whether he was going to get a lawyer, and only nodded slightly when asked whether he was exercising his right not to speak. [..]

Witnesses said the attacker stabbed the victim up to 50 times and after severing his head he began methodically carving up the body as passengers scrambled to get off the Greyhound bus – which was traveling from Edmonton to Winnipeg in Canada. [..]

“When he was attacking him, he was calm … like he was at the beach.’


faq

Saturday, August 2, 2008

 

Driver abuses speed limit and himself

‘A Territory man filmed himself speeding at 150km/h while masturbating at the wheel of his drug-laden car, a court heard.

His Holden SV6 was allegedly laden with 5kg of drugs, including two cannabis plants resting on the back seat, the court was told.

Brendon Alan Erhardt, 39, was granted bail so he could marry his girlfriend of six months before he goes to jail.

Prosecutor Sergeant Melinda Edwards said in court the father-of-three told police he “had masturbated while driving” just before he was stopped for speeding on the 130km/h stretch of the Stuart Hwy.

“(He) also video recorded himself masturbating while travelling at a speed of 150km/h.”

Sgt Edwards said Mr Erhardt — who was disqualified from driving — also told officers his act was “not dangerous” as the “only person he could hurt was himself”.’


e-mail

Saturday, July 26, 2008

 

Man Stole Miami-Dade Buses, Drove Them On Routes

‘Police have arrested an 18-year-old man accused of stealing at least three county buses and driving them on their routes.

James L. Harris is charged with three counts each of third-degree grand theft and burglary of an occupied conveyance, WPLG-TV reported.

The most recent theft occurred Tuesday, when he was arrested and charged.

According to Miami-Dade police, Harris would take the buses from several Miami-Dade Transit bus depots in the county and drive the buses on their routes, picking up and dropping off passengers along the way. He would then return the buses at the end of the day.’


guidelines

Monday, July 21, 2008

 

Police use taser on blind woman with cancer

‘Family members are angry and speaking out after Dayton police used a stun gun on a woman who is blind and suffering from cancer. Police said they were looking for a suspect when they knocked on Denise Harris’s door Thursday morning. But according to both police and witnesses, things quickly got out of hand and Harris was tased.

“She was able to force herself down on to the floor and not be cooperative, grabbing on to the detective. A taser was dry stunned onto her arm to control her hand movement, then she was cuffed,” said Sgt. Charles Anderson.

Her family said she was yelling at officers because she was scared.

“She was terrified. She was extremely terrified,” said Harris’s niece, Dionna. “She was scared because the person identified themselves as a police officer. But she’s been robbed before by someone using the same technique.” [..]

“She’s blind and they pulled her off her Futon, handcuffed her and tased her because he said she swung at him. She can’t see,” said Harris’s sister Elvita Harris. “I’m very frustrated and upset. Dayton police need to implement a sensitivity program.”

Neighbors said they told officers she was blind and sick.’


podcast

Friday, July 18, 2008

 

Moon mistaken for UFO

‘The moon was mistaken for a “bright, stationary” UFO which had been loitering for at least half an hour, by a confused local in South Wales who made a 999 call to the police.

Today officers released a transcript in order to highlight the time wasted by unnecessary 999 calls.

The bizzare conversation ran as follows: [..]‘


Tuesday, July 15, 2008

 

Fighting Giraffes

Crazy fucking animals.

I’d fight one. :)

(5.5meg Flash video)

see it here »


Sunday, July 13, 2008

 

Strip Search of 13-Year-Old for Ibuprofen Ruled Unconstitutional

‘If you have a problem with school officials strip searching 13-year-olds for Advil – or if you care about the government’s standards for informant use and invasive searches – you can take relief in yesterday’s ruling by a full panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit, which ruled 6-5 that students cannot be strip-searched based on the uncorroborated word of another student who is facing disciplinary punishment.

“A reasonable school official, seeking to protect the students in his charge, does not subject a thirteen-year-old girl to a traumatic search to ‘protect’ her from the danger of Advil,” the federal appellate court wrote in today’s opinion. “We reject Safford’s effort to lump together these run-of-the-mill anti-inflammatory pills with the evocative term ‘prescription drugs,’ in a knowing effort to shield an imprudent strip search of a young girl behind a larger war against drugs.”

“It does not take a constitutional scholar to conclude that a nude search of a 13-year-old girl is an invasion of constitutional rights. More than that: it is a violation of any known principle of human dignity,” the court continued.’


Wednesday, July 9, 2008

 

IT’S A GODDAMNED CRACKER!

‘There are days when it is agony to read the news, because people are so goddamned stupid. Petty and stupid. Hateful and stupid. Just plain stupid. And nothing makes them stupider than religion.

Here’s a story that will destroy your hopes for a reasonable humanity.

Webster Cook says he smuggled a Eucharist, a small bread wafer that to Catholics symbolic of the Body of Christ after a priest blesses it, out of mass, didn’t eat it as he was supposed to do, but instead walked with it.

This isn’t the stupid part yet. [..]‘


copyright

Saturday, July 5, 2008

 

Man found in Wisconsin basement covered in BBQ sauce

‘A couple telephoned police in the middle of the night after finding a man in their basement covered head to toe in barbecue sauce.

“He told the officers that it was urban camouflage,” said the homeowner.

This happened in Wisconsin.

The homeowners say they woke up to whistling sounds.

The husband grabbed his shotgun and headed toward the basement where he found the sauced-up intruder.

He held him at gunpoint until police arrived.

The guy told officers he covered himself in barbecue sauce because he wanted to hide from the government.

He now faces burglary charges.’


feed

Monday, June 16, 2008

 

Officer kills man who beat child to death

‘Police killed a 27-year-old man as he kicked, punched and stomped a toddler to death despite other people’s attempts to stop him on a dark, country road, authorities said.

Investigators on Sunday were trying to establish the relationship between the suspect and the child they say he killed Saturday night. The Stanislaus County coroner said the boy appeared to be between 1 and 2 years old based on his size, according to county sheriff’s deputy Royjindar Singh.

“It’s been a long night of wondering, ‘Why?’ — not only for the officers and the passers-by who stopped and tried to help out, but for anyone. Why would somebody do this?” Singh said.

Singh said the coroner does not plan to confirm the identities of the suspect and victim until Monday. Because his injuries were so severe, the child will have to be identified through a blood or DNA test, he said.’


Suspicious incident on-board MBTA bus resolved

‘Transit police have identified the man seen with a young girl on-board a bus at Sullivan Station Sunday night.

Officers have met with both the young girl, and the family member who was with her on the bus.

A passenger noticed a man holding the child’s hand. That passenger says she overheard the girl say she was hungry, and the man told her to “Please be quiet.”

T police say there was no criminal conduct. They consider the case closed.’


forum

Monday, June 9, 2008

 

The Date From Hell

‘The following events are completely true.

I met a girl on Match.com and we chatted for about two weeks before going out for the first time last Saturday. The plan was she meet me at my apartment then we would go for a walk and grab a drink or some coffee.

7:00 PM – I call her to let her know I was now home and she could meet me anytime. She says she will be over in 30 minutes.

8:00 PM – She shows up to my place. At first she seamed kind of spacey which I wrote off as her being nervous. [..]‘


Attack of the Redneck

Gimme some of that sugar!

(1.2meg Flash video)

see it here »


faq