Archive for March, 2005

Thursday, March 24, 2005

 

Huge blast rocks Texas oil plant

`A huge explosion at an oil refinery in Texas has killed at least 14 and injured more than 70.

The blast took place at a facility owned by British-owned company BP in Texas City. [..]

Texas City resident Mike Martin described “a real loud explosion, like a sonic boom”.

“It shook the pictures bad enough to where it knocked them off the wall. And it frightened me, so I jumped out of bed.”

Judith Mantell, 62, told the Houston Chronicle the blast lifted her vehicle off the ground at her home five miles (8km) away.’


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Naked man chases off burglar

`A naked man saw off a burglar who broke into his flat above The Lamb Inn at Hungerford, on Saturday – and even flung the would-be thief across the bonnet of his getaway car after chasing him into the street. [..]

The offender is 5ft 9ins, pudgy, with bad acne and dark hair.

He may well also be bruised after his scuffle with the naked man. [..]’


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HDTV: Beauty Is Skin-Deep

`There is no escaping the naked lens of High-Definition TV. The picture is so clear that aging signs and skin imperfections are clearly visible. Below is our “Top 10” list of which celebrities look better — and worse — in high-def.’


Celine Slams Las Vegas Audiences

`Superstar Celine Dion has hit out at audiences at her Las Vegas shows – insisting they are not ‘real fans’ and often fall asleep while she sings.

The Canadian is contracted to perform 200 shows a year at Sin City’s Caesar’s Palace, but she admits she is disillusioned by the experience of performing to jet-lagged gamblers.

She snipes, “When I started here, I told myself, ‘I’m not gonna expect anything’. That only leaves you open to disappointment.’


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Bush Adviser: `Because STAR TREK Says So!’

`”Diana Schaub, a Loyola College professor and adviser to President [George W.] Bush, is convinced that cloning and embryonic stem cell research are evil. She says this belief was formed, in part, by watching STAR TREK,” reports Jason Song for the Baltimore Sun.

Schaub says that STAR TREK “left me receptive to the view that mortality is, if not precisely a good thing, then at least the necessary foundation of other very good things. There is something misguided about the attempt to overcome mortality.”‘


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Seven Charged With Misdemeanor Assault for Applying Famous `Wieners to the Face’ Hold on Teammates

`The latest HS hazing incident had gotten a little more serious with seven members of the AHST High School wrestling team (including one former member) being charged with misdemeanor assault for “forcibly restraining” seven freshman wrestlers on eight different occasions, and each time “one individual would take down his pants and place his bare genitals against the face and head of the alleged victims.”‘


The Solar Death Ray

`Using some basic principles of Black Body Radiation, I estimate that the Solar Death Ray can heat things up to between 500-600 degrees Celsius (930-1100 degrees Fahrenheit) under good conditions. This assumes that heat is not lost due to conduction and convection of the air around the target, which is unlikely. As a check, paper will ignite at around 230 degrees Celsius (450 degrees Fahrenheit). Because I can routinely ignite paper with the Solar Death Ray, I know it can heat things to at least this temperature. The “output power” of the Solar Death Ray is roughly 1,500 Watts, meaning that 1,500 Watts of power can be deposited onto a target.’


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Xananeko


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Man survives 1,000 foot fall

`Martin Tlusty, 20, from Prague had been climbing with friends in the Low Tatras mountain range in neighbouring Slovakia when he lost his footing, slipped and fell 1,000 feet down the side of the mountain. [..]

He was taken to hospital by mountain rescue teams but doctors said he suffered only cuts and bruises from the fall and would soon bounce back, local daily Novy Cas reported.

The man said he would be back climbing the same mountains as soon as possible. He said: “I’ll definitely be back.”‘


Wednesday, March 23, 2005

 

Shift


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Disgruntled Asian Tattoo Artist Inks His Revenge

`Sakai, an award-winning tattoo artist, was tired of seeing sacred Japanese words, symbols of his heritage, inked on random white people. So he used their blissful ignorance to make an everlasting statement. Any time acustomer came to Sakai’s home studio wanting Japanese tattooed on them, he modified it into a profane word or phrase.

[..] Kerri Baker, a Carlow College freshman, paid $50 to have the symbols for “beautiful goddess” etched above her belly button, but when she went into Szechuan Express Asian Noodle Shop sporting a bare midriff, the giggling employees explained to her that the tattoo really said, “Insert General Tso’s Chicken Here!”

“I don’t even like General Tso’s!” Baker sobbed. “I’m a vegetarian!”’


Tuesday, March 22, 2005

 

My V8 Engine

`This page will describe the construction of a miniature eight cylinder engine I built in my home machine shop over the past few years. I still have a few small details left to finish, but the engine is running and almost complete. This was my first attempt at building a running miniature engine, I should have started with something a little simpler. I had a great time designing and building this engine and the first time it started was an unbelievable experience.’


Monday, March 21, 2005

 

Sick Dog + Computer = Massive Damage

`Me: So… what happened to your case?

Him: I’d swear your dog did it on purpose, but he came into my room while I was using my computer, sat near the front and totally took a dump all over it. I didn’t even notice until he left the room, that’s when I smelled something funny… I was like wtf???

Here are some pictures, VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! [..]

Needless to say, we had to buy a new case…’


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World War 2 Pictures in Colour


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Overheard in New York

`Hefty chick #1: Well, I didn’t want to fight her, but she called me a fat bitch.
Hefty chick #2: Oh, lawd!
Hefty chick #1: So I backed up on her and dropped her with my elbow.

–41st St. & 7th Ave.’


Wednesday, March 16, 2005

 

BlotterArt.net


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The unspoken language of the office

`If a picture is better than a thousand words, then a person’s body language has got to “speak” volumes. A lot of the focus on body language at work has been on how to avoid looking all twitchy and nervous. Not much is mentioned about how to use body language to get people out of your office. And I’m not just talking about that bare-toothed hiss that you’ve perfected. Here are a select few tips for your unspoken pleasure. Some are classics, others are more subtle. All are effective…’


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Are Nanobacteria Making Us Ill?

`Olavi Kajander didn’t mean to discover the mysterious particles that have been called the most primitive organisms on Earth and that could be responsible for a series of painful and sometimes fatal illnesses.

He was simply trying to find out why certain cultures of mammalian cells in his lab would die no matter how carefully he prepared them.

So the Finnish biochemist and his colleagues slipped some of their old cultures under an electron microscope one day in 1988 and took a closer look. That’s when they saw the particles. Like bacteria but an astonishing 100 times smaller, they seemed to be thriving inside the dying cells.’


Camel Toe Cup

`”I wanted to impress this guy at the bar, so I opened a beer with my cup, we’ve been going out for 3 days, he drives a camaro, I’m in heaven!”‘


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Friday, March 4, 2005

 

moonbuggy is moving..

I’m moving house over the weekend and I don’t have internet access for the new place setup yet. Updates might be a bit sparse for the next week or so.

If you’re bored, check out the sites on the links page. I steal pretty much all the good stuff from those sites anyways.

If you’re _really_ bored, do some Google searches from the search page and click the ads that pop up. Do this repeatedly until you have RSI. Make me rich. 🙂


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[puzzle] Zest

Another one of these things. I’m too lazy to do it, but it looks like it could be fun. If you’re not lazy. 🙂


The Cross in Space

`The cross will be over You personally! The Cross will be over every Nation on earth! Over Afghanistan! Saudi Arabia! Jerusalem! America! The cross in Space Satellite will be in a Polar orbit from pole to pole. As the earth turns it will pass over every inch of the earth like peeling an apple. The cross will circle the earth every one and a half hours. After launch we can tell you on our site when it will be over you and your nation. We have carried the cross in Every nation. Now we will, God willing have it flying above Every nation! We wave the cross in the face of Satan and proclaim that Jesus is Lord over All the Earth. All glory to God.’


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Crack Whore Confessions

Not safe for work.

Unless your boss is into smoking crack and having sex.


Get this off my penis!

`Raju Shetty’s (28) attempt to adopt an inventive method to enhance sexual pleasure landed him on the surgeon’s table yesterday.

Inspired by the fad of body piercing, the Pantnagar (Ghatkopar) resident substituted a ring with a metal nut and pushed it around his penis. Problem was, the metal stayed stubbornly stuck to his organ for over two hours.

After failing to remove the foreign body, an embarrassed Shetty decided to seek medical help and checked into the casualty ward of Rajawadi Hospital in the evening.’


Rutgers University Grills Sandwich Vendors

`A student group at Rutgers University has demanded sandwich vendors on campus change the names of sandwiches that have been deemed offensive.

Some of the sandwiches, which have been voted the best “fat” sandwiches by Maxim magazine, are called; “Fat Dyke,” “Fat Phillipino” [sic] and “Fat Bitch.” The big bites are sold by so-called “grease trucks” on the New Jersey school’s main road.’


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World Jump Day

`Join us in the attempt to drive planet Earth into a new orbit, by letting millions of people jump!

Scientific research has proven that this change of planetary positioning would very likely stop global warming, extend daytime hours and create a more homogeneous climate.’


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I Park Like an Idiot


Free Candy!

`My kid who is 16 had a fairly decent 85 nissan maxima as his own car but the tranny blew in it.

Well we gave him the other phat ryde that we had in the family for him to use as his daily driver. He has been using it for the last 2 months or so.

Purchase price for the 1980 Ford Econoline 250 van: $0.00. My buddy got it for 100 bux from a university surplus sale and gave it to us after he got a better one and after we put a fancy hitch on it.

Creepiness factor on a scale of 1 to 10: A solid 23 or so. Its seriously creepy. We might be able to push the creepiness factor up to around 30 or so if we put curtains in the windows and a bumper sticker on the back that says: “Don’t laugh, your daughter might be in here!”.’


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Learning Styles Questionnaire


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The Oops List

Lots of pictures.