Archive for August, 2005

Wednesday, August 31, 2005


Man ‘gang-raped’ by 3 women

`A 30-year-old man was off to play pool when three women asked him to direct them to a hotel and he claims they raped him in turn after they had had drinks. [..]

“On the way to the hotel, the driver suddenly changed direction and drove to an open piece of veld near the Durban Roodepoort Deep mine.

“One of the women pulled out a gun and held up the man while the other two undressed.

“Then all three of them raped him in turn, with one of them keeping the gun pointed at him,” said [some policewoman].’


Cables Save Drivers Life

Looks like some good driving.


High-Tech Door Better than Star Trek

`The Tanaka Auto Door opens automatically when you stand in front of it. Even better, it only opens just enough to let the individual person come in.

The Auto Door consists of individual slats that slide open and closed from the side of the door. Each slat is half the width of the door; each slat has a sensor. If you stand in front of the door, the sensors determine how much of the door needs to open to allow you to enter. ‘


U.S. Attorney’s Porn Fight Gets Bad Reviews

`When FBI supervisors in Miami met with new interim U.S. Attorney Alex Acosta last month, they wondered what the top enforcement priority for Acosta and Attorney General Alberto Gonzales would be.

Would it be terrorism? Organized crime? Narcotics trafficking? Immigration? Or maybe public corruption?

The agents were stunned to learn that a top prosecutorial priority of Acosta and the Department of Justice was none of the above. Instead, Acosta told them, it’s obscenity. Not pornography involving children, but pornographic material featuring consenting adults.’


Rent My Daughter – Child Rental Agency

`RentMyDaughter provides safe and trustworthy child-rental services in multiple metropolitan areas. Our service area is growing every year and we are on target to provide services in 50 cities by the end of 2006. [..]

We pride ourselves in being a one-of-a-kind company with a near-perfect track record. We are constantly evaluating our procedures to be sure we are offering a 100% safe environment for everyone involved.

Our goal is to provide reliable child-rental services in a fun and safe environment. We strive to make customer satisfaction a priority. Feel free to contact us with any cares or concerns. We thank you for your past and continued business. ‘

Scientific Savvy? In U.S., Not Much

`[..] American adults in general do not understand what molecules are (other than that they are really small). Fewer than a third can identify DNA as a key to heredity. Only about 10 percent know what radiation is. One adult American in five thinks the Sun revolves around the Earth, an idea science had abandoned by the 17th century. [..]

Lately, people who advocate the teaching of evolution have been citing Dr. Miller’s ideas on what factors are correlated with adherence to creationism and rejection of Darwinian theories. In general, he says, these fundamentalist views are most common among people who are not well educated and who “work in jobs that are evaporating fast with competition around the world.”‘


Laserglow GHL Series

`At laserglow, we have the complete solution! A high power, compact laser source which operates on 2 “C” cell alkaline batteries! Whether you are a research technician, a scientist, or your industrial application requires a portable, high power laser source, the GHL series of portable lasers is designed for you! Please be aware that these are HIGH POWER lasers, and are too powerful for most pointing applications.’

Monday, August 29, 2005


A Four-Leaf Clover


Sheep in bed a bit of a yarn

`Senior Constable Ian Henderson said the 19-year-old man sounded rather traumatised when he contacted police at 2.21am on Wednesday.

“He said he had woken up to find a sheep sleeping in his bed and he was sure it was pregnant.”

Police did not ask how the young man came to that conclusion. [..]

However, when he checked on her the next morning, it appeared his bed mate had hoofed it some time during the night and she was no where to be found.

A scene check by police later that morning failed to find any trace of the sheep. “There certainly wasn’t any dags, wool or hoof marks in the bed.” [..]

The man has admitted being very intoxicated that night.’


Lockerbie evidence was faked

`A former Scottish police chief has given lawyers a signed statement claiming that key evidence in the Lockerbie bombing trial was fabricated.

The retired officer – of assistant chief constable rank or higher – has testified that the CIA planted the tiny fragment of circuit board crucial in convicting a Libyan for the 1989 mass murder of 270 people. [..]

The officer, who was a member of the Association of Chief Police Officers Scotland, is supporting earlier claims by a former CIA agent that his bosses “wrote the script” to incriminate Libya.’

Rude Awakening

`This guys reaction to being rudely awakened is insane. Imagine what he would do if you put his hand in warm water.’

(2meg .wmv)


(5meg Quicktime)

A photo of my mom naked

‘I’m selling a photo of my mom naked because she’s fuckin pissing me off. I’ll take the photo once the bids have finished. I’ll probably only get like 5 bucks but at least that’s gonna get me a beer and some pokies at the local pub.

If you wanna know what she looks like young Mother Teresa. I’m not putting her photo up on this page cause I’ll get in the shit, so when you get it you gotta promise to keep it to yourself or something.

I take no responsibility if you die when you see her.

I’ll probably take it when shes like getting outta the shower, I’m movin to England so what do I care.’


Bush’s Obscene Tirades Rattle White House Aides

`While President George W. Bush travels around the country in a last-ditch effort to sell his Iraq war, White House aides scramble frantically behind the scenes to hide the dark mood of an increasingly angry leader who unleashes obscenity-filled outbursts at anyone who dares disagree with him.

Im not meeting again with that goddamned bitch, Bush screamed at aides who suggested he meet again with Cindy Sheehan, the war-protesting mother whose son died in Iraq. She can go to hell as far as Im concerned! [..]

White House insiders say Bush is growing increasingly bitter over mounting opposition to his war in Iraq. Polls show a vast majority of Americans now believe the war was a mistake and most doubt the Presidents honesty.

Who gives a flying fuck what the polls say, he screamed at a recent strategy meeting. Im the President and Ill do whatever I goddamned please. They dont know shit.’


Forgotten Bodies Found In Abandoned Funeral Home

`Police officers responding to a call at an abandoned funeral home made a gruesome discovery. Two bodies, never buried, were left behind when the funeral home closed almost two years ago. [..]

The owner of the funeral home, Ellis Pope, died in 2004. Edith Pope, his widow, claims she and her son knew nothing about the bodies left behind in the funeral home.’


Border Patrol chopper forced down

`Rock-throwing illegal immigrants near Yuma, Arizona, forced a U.S. Border Patrol helicopter pilot to make an emergency landing this week, the customs agency said. [..]

While the helicopter was hovering, a group of 10 people on the south side of the canal began throwing baseball-size rocks at it, Gramley said.

One rock hit a rotor, Gramley said. The pilot felt a bad vibration and made an emergency landing about a mile away.’


Avant-garde Chinese artist defends fetus-bird artwork

`A Chinese artist who grafted the head of a human fetus onto the body of a bird has defended his work as art after a Swiss museum withdrew the piece from an exhibit.

“It’s precisely because I respect all life that I did this,” artist Xiao Yu said Tuesday. He said the bird and fetus “died because there was something wrong with them. … I thought putting them together like this was a way for them to have another life.”‘

Cap’n Crunch in Cyberspace


Sunday, August 28, 2005


DeMoulin Bros Catalog

`We have reproduced the DeMoulin Catalog here in its entirety. Pay particular attention to the various testimonials at the bottom on some of the below catalog pages. These testimonials were sent in by the Lodges who purchased this paraphernalia and they described how it worked for them. In the end you’ll see that the wholesome fun… “light hazing,” endured by the candidates made them feel more apart of the Lodge and fostered Brotherly Love and Affection.

Lysol Feminine Hygiene

`A man marries a woman because he loves her. So instead of blaming him if married love begins to cool, she should question herself. Is she truly trying to keep her husband and herself eager, happy married lovers? One most effictive way to safeguard her dainty feminine allure is by practicing complete feminine hygiene as provided by vaginal douches with a scientifically correct preparation like “Lysol.”‘


The Crack Olympics

`All of us is crackheads out here right now. [..]

We goin’ up in this water, we gonna get these crack rocks. And whoever gets the most crack rocks is gonna be tha winner, fo’ sure.’

(4.7meg .wmv)


Saturday, August 27, 2005


Your Son Is A Heterosexual

Prank phone call.

(1.8meg .mp3)

see it here »


Not very nice for the fish, but interesting anyways.

(3.2meg Flash video)

see it here »

Friday, August 26, 2005


Sodium Party

`I decided I should produce a comprehensive online reference on sodium dropping, with documentation on the size and shape of the chunks, how thrown, and most importantly with videos of the resulting explosions. To do this, I held a Sodium Party. People brought chips and soda and we had a cookout.

The first step was the procurement, through eBay, of three and half pounds of solid sodium metal for about a hundred dollars. This is a decent price for a small quantity like this. Small being a relative term: It’s used by the ton in industry, but anything more than a few grams is a dangerous quantity if found in your home. Three and a half pounds is enough, for example, to blow your home to bits under the right conditions.’

Saturday, August 20, 2005


Brion’s Been Up Too Late

Some kid gets grounded by his mother on a WoW forum.


Friday, August 19, 2005


Google to sell 14m more shares

`Google says it has filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission for a proposed public offering of 14.2 million class A common shares.

Google shares, which have tripled since going public one year ago, closed Wednesday at $285.10 on the Nasdaq Stock Market, giving the offering an estimated value of $4 billion (euro3.25 billion) at that share price.

The operator of the popular Internet search engine said it intends to use the net proceeds from the offering for general corporate purposes, including working capital and capital expenditures, and possible acquisitions of “complementary businesses, technologies or other assets.”‘


Thursday, August 18, 2005


Pom Poko

‘I’ve seen a lot of weird Japanese animation, but this is one of the weirdest. I sat my wife and kids down in front of the TV to watch it and everything started off OK. Then the raccoons came on the screen and started transforming. That was strange, but not that strange. It was then that I noticed something odd between the legs of the male raccoon characters. It wasn’t until I saw it again a few times that I realized what it was — a scrotum. I said to my wife, “Did you see that?” We both looked again and I said, “Is that what I think it is??” We then realized we had seen the first testicles shown in a Disney film. Fortunately the kids didn’t notice. But it got weirder from there.’


Secret Nuclear Fallout Shelters

It amusing what you can see with Google and MSN maps. 🙂

Mount Weather is where the US president will hide in the event of a nuclear war. [map]

“Site R” at Raven Rock is for the Pentagon. [map]

The Russians also have a big bunker at Mount Yamantau, but no one knows if it’s just a shelter or a hardened weapon production site. Well, except the Russians, I s’pose. 🙂 [map]


The Brick Testament

`Rev. Smith has stated that the goal of The Brick Testament is to give people an increased knowledge of the contents of The Bible in a way that is fun and compelling while staying very true to the original versions. To this end, all stories are retold using direct quotes from The Bible.’

Furniture Porn

`Welcome to the HOTTEST site on the Web for hardcore furniture action! If you’re ready to see some hot, horny home furnishings get their freak on then you’re in the right place!! You won’t believe what our furniture will do! It’ll make you pop your springs and throw your pillows!!’