`A man is facing jail after slapping a passer-by with a fish.
Alan Bennie, 20, was walking through a park when he was approached by assailant David Evans, who was carrying a fish. [..]
[The prosecutor] said: “The accused asked the complainer ‘Do you want to kiss my fish?’
“Mr Bennie made no reply and walked on, at which point the accused said: ‘You answer me next time I ask you to kiss a fish’, and slapped him round the face with it.”‘