moonbuggy

This is what the little quiz tells me:

`You will die with your hand down your underwear, watching Star Trek.’

Not too bad. I always thought I’d die of a heart attack whilst humping your mother.

`A crackpot clergyman wants to ban all Superman comic books and movies – because he believes the Man of Steel is gay!

“We owe it to our children not to expose them to this kind of flamboyant character, flitting around in the air like Tinkerbell,” declares the Reverend Clay Blanblood. “Real men do NOT prance around in tights. Who knows how many homosexuals got their start from trying to imitate Superman?”

The Topeka-based minister says he reached his bizarre conclusion after pouring over hundreds of Superman comics, movies and TV shows dating back to the 1930s. [..]

* He is “overly chummy” with cute young cub reporter Jimmy Olsen.

* He often poses with his hands on his hips, “the traditional gay posture.”

* He has X-ray vision, yet never uses the power to look through women’s clothing, “the way any normal, red-blooded American man would,” according to the preacher.

* He’s often seen flying through the air carrying a man he’s just rescued – something Rev. Blanblood insists “no heterosexual male would be caught dead doing.” [..]

A leading comic book expert calls the preacher’s crusade against Superman “idiotic.”‘

‘The “suspicious package” that caused Interstate 75 and Daniels Parkway to be shut for more than an hour Monday was not an explosive pipe bomb — but rather wrapped-up plastic foot-long penis.

“Someone took construction-grade plastic, molded it into a penis and wrapped it with duct tape,” said Lee County Sheriff’s Chief Deputy Charles Ferrante.

“They wrote ‘Happy Father’s Day’ on the duct tape.”‘

`This beautiful dildo is made from solid hypoallergenic titanium. It has been designed with natural forms and contours. The end of the dildo is specifically designed to stimulate the g-spot. Being Titanium, it does not corrode (good for water lovers) and retains heat well – excellent for trying to add a little heat to any situation or for an amazingly sexy cool experience!

The handle of the dildo is embellished with precious stones of your choice, twenty in total. These superb Swarovski stones are set into 18ct gold and then inlaid permanently into the titanium. You can choose between a single, continuous band of stones and an alternating band of two different coloured stones, personalising your product.’

`The Hilbert (axiomatic) method

We place a locked cage onto a given point in the desert. After that we introduce the following logical system:

Axiom 1: The set of lions in the Sahara is not empty.
Axiom 2: If there exists a lion in the Sahara, then there exists a lion in the cage.
Procedure: If P is a theorem, and if the following is holds: “P implies Q”, then Q is a theorem.
Theorem 1: There exists a lion in the cage. [..]

The Schrödinger method

At every instant there is a non-zero probability of the lion being in the cage. Sit and wait. ‘

`Here’s what you need: a toy laser sword with a retractable blade, a brightly colored clear jelly dildo, a utility knife, and a mini LED flashlight. Match the color of the flashlight to the color of the dildo if you can.’

`The organisers of a memorial service for writer Hunter S Thompson are to build a 150 foot-high tower from which to fire his ashes.

Actor Johnny Depp will pay for the tower to be built for the service, set to take place on 20 August.

During the ceremony, Thompson’s ashes will be fired from a cannon at the top of the tower onto his Colorado ranch.’

Some guy called Bruce loses his mind over an argument in an internet forum. Shoots two people who insulted him then goes on the run. Keeps posting on the forum with wireless net access whilst on the run.

More on the internet murders here.

I think this might be photoshopped.

Not safe for work, but not as bad as some of the other stuff I’ve been posting lately. :)

`The object is to insert the numbers in the boxes to satisfy only one condition: each row, column and 3×3 box must contain the digits 1 through 9 exactly once. What could be simpler?’

Lots and lots of these addictive little puzzles here.

Also, there’s a 3D Puzzle here (in PDF format).

`Mr Rigney said it worked by enabling vehicles to use petrol that normally was spewed into the environment.

He said most cars wasted between 15 per cent and 20 per cent of petrol because they failed to turn it into vapour.

Vaporate added heat to a fuel system, ensuring all petrol was vapourised and used.

Mr Rigney, who spent more than seven years developing the device, said extensive testing had shown four in five family cars and four-wheel-drive vehicles fitted with the device used between 10 per cent and 20 per cent less fuel.

He claimed that in some vehicles fuel use dropped by more than a quarter.’

`Saaya Irie, an 11-year-old Japanese girl, may not be that miracle, but she has clearly played a part in pacifying a certain segment of China’s population, according to Shukan Bunshun.

If anything about Saaya is miraculous, it’s her body — she wears an F-cup bra, though she has yet to reach her teens. So when a photo of her in a bikini was posted on a Chinese Internet forum called “100,” she immediately caused a sensation.

The pic was accompanied by message — rendered in mock Marxist rhetoric — reading: “An 11-year-old Japanese girl with large breasts has a proclamation for all Chinese people! Dear elder brothers, a beautiful young Japanese girl is beseeching you.

“Please stop these anti-Japanese hijinks. If you don’t, I won’t like you anymore.”

At the end of the message, she states that her breasts would “rise up” if the people “unite for the sake of China’s democracy.”‘

Here’s some pictures of Saaya Irie so you can see if she eases any tension you might have.

`Alan Colmes, on his Fox radio talk show last week, asked anti-abortion extremist Neal Horsley if he was kidding when Horsley once claimed to have had sex with animals as a boy growing up in Georgia. [..]

Horsley: Hey, Alan, if you want to accuse me of having sex when I was a fool, I did everything that crossed my mind that looked like I . . .

Colmes: You had sex with animals?

Horsley: Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule.

Colmes: I’m not so sure that that is so.

Horsley: You didn’t grow up on a farm in Georgia, did you?

Colmes: Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?

Horsley: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality. . . . Welcome to domestic life on the farm. You experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually. You’re naive. You know better than that. . . . If it’s warm and it’s damp and it vibrates, you might in fact have sex with it. ‘

`The only force with this Star Wars fan was the team of sheriff’s deputies who arrested him. James Andrew Crawford, 35, of Sun City was arrested Tuesday for allegedly failing to register as a convicted sex offender after ‘relocating.’

His new abode? It wasn’t a sprawling ranch-style house in the country. It wasn’t a stylish apartment in the city. It was a tent erected outside a Corona theater.

For two weeks he had camped out —- as had others —- with hopes of being among the first to see the latest ‘Star Wars’ movie, authorities said Thursday. The lengthy wait was for naught, as the arrest and subsequent booking into county jail came two days before the debut of ‘Star Wars: Episode III —- Revenge of the Sith.”

`The website for the Senate Committee on Homeland Security and Government Affairs has removed testimony from UK MP George Galloway from its website.

All other witness testimonies for the hearings on the Oil for Food scandal are available on the Committee’s website in PDF form. But Galloway’s testimony is the only document not on the site. [..]

“I have met Saddam Hussein exactly the same number of times as Donald Rumsfeld met him,” Galloway told the Committee.

“The difference is that Donald Rumsfeld met him to sell him guns and to give him maps the better to target those guns.”

Press representatives for the Committee had no comment.’

I’m suprised they even put it up in the first place. The censors were obviously busy covering up something else at the time. Followup to the Galloway video I posted earlier.

23 pages of pictures.

`The solution to the following puzzle is unique; in some cases the knowledge that the solution is unique may actually give you a short-cut to finding the answer to a particular question, but it’s possible to find the unique solution even without making use of the fact that the solution is unique.’

`A woman isn’t legally responsible for injuries her boyfriend suffered while they were having consensual sex more than a decade ago, a state appeals court ruled Monday.

The man, identified only as John Doe in court papers, filed suit against the woman in 1997, claiming she was negligent when she suddenly changed positions, landed awkwardly on him and fractured his penis.

The man underwent emergency surgery in September 1994, “endured a painful and lengthy recovery” and has suffered from sexual dysfunction that hasn’t responded to medication or counseling, the appeals court said.

Although the woman may have exposed her boyfriend to “some risk of harm,” the three-judge panel said her conduct during the sexual encounter wasn’t “wanton or reckless” and can’t support a lawsuit.’

`Seven workers were suspended after being caught ogling sick internet images of a naked woman with an octopus. [..]

A worker said last night: “The video is vile but a lot of the lads thought it was a scream.

“They gathered round computer screens and roared with laughter.

“But management didn’t see the funny side.”‘

I can see the funny side. Maybe that’s why I’m not any sort of manager. :)

Sometimes I wish I was born sooner. If these album covers are anything to go by, I certainly missed out on some exciting times. :)

Bring a prostitute to orgasm in an alley.

I’ll just say it’s not safe for work and leave it at that. :)

Best viewed with sound on.

`Fake prehistoric rock art of a caveman with a shopping trolley has been hung on the walls of the British Museum.

The rock was put there by art prankster Banksy, who has previously put works in galleries in London and New York. [..]

A British Museum spokeswoman said they were “seeing the lighter side of it”. She said it went unnoticed for one or two days but Banksy said three days.

Banksy also hung a sign saying the cave art showed “early man venturing towards the out-of-town hunting grounds”.

It read: “This finely preserved example of primitive art dates from the Post-Catatonic era.’

‘British soldiers serving in Iraq crashed defense ministry computers in London last week after officials downloaded a spoof video the troops had made of a chart-topping song.

The soldiers’ four-minute video take of the 1971 hit ‘Is This The Way To Amarillo’ had officers laughing out loud back at London headquarters as they e-mailed copies to each other. [..]

In the spoof video, a soldier looking like Kay marches through a British base in Iraq calling on fellow troopers to join him, including two dressed only in underwear, webbing and rifles.’

And you can see the video here.

(4.1meg Windows media)

see it here »

`As you may know, last September the Alaska Supreme Court upheld a previous ruling that allows adults aged 21 and older to use and possess up to four ounces of marijuana in the privacy of their homes — and not just for medical use. The MPP grants program funded this litigation.

A few months ago, Alaska Gov. Frank Murkowski (R) declared that re-criminalizing marijuana would be one of his top legislative priorities this year. At his urging, the state legislature introduced twin bills to impose the same penalty for the possession of four ounces of marijuana as for incest — five years in prison!…

MPP fought back. [..]’

`A photographer has come under fire in China for his pictures of a man falling off a bicycle.

The man took a spectacular digger in Xiamen city after his bike hit a pot-hole submerged in rainwater.

But photographer Liu Tao was accused of lying in wait to take his pictures instead of warning people of the danger.’

..with the pictures. :)

`It is said that hair makes the man, and certainly women go to amazing lengths to find a style that will at once enhance their looks and set them apart from other women. Sometimes the pressure and lengths traveled lead to styles and cuts that are just plain terrible. From the old standbys of ugliness like, The Mullet and Comb-Over to new additions to the bad hair lexicon like, The Career Terminator and The Gangsta Pimp- they are all here. We hope you enjoy our list of the 50 Worst Hairstyles of All-Time. ‘

`Climate change researchers have detected the first signs of a slowdown in the Gulf Stream — the mighty ocean current that keeps Britain and Europe from freezing.

They have found that one of the “engines” driving the Gulf Stream — the sinking of supercooled water in the Greenland Sea — has weakened to less than a quarter of its former strength. [..]

Such a change could have a severe impact on Britain, which lies on the same latitude as Siberia and ought to be much colder. The Gulf Stream transports 27,000 times more heat to British shores than all the nation’s power supplies could provide, warming Britain by 5-8C.’

`Throughout the Bible, having a hard and lasting erection is frequently equated with righteousness and Godliness. Potency and procreative ability and prowess are often equated with God’s blessings: “His seed shall be mighty upon earth: the generation of the upright shall be blessed.” (Psalms 112:2) In the Old Testament, David was one of God’s most favored servants, and here the Lord declares how he has blessed him with a firm manhood: “For thy steadfast love was established forever, thy faithfulness is firm as the heavens. I pledged my word to my servant, David, saying, Everyone descending from you is guaranteed life; I’ll make your rule as solid and lasting as rock.” (Psalms 89:2-4) As we can see, an erection is not only a gift from God, but also a means of glorifying Him. Later in the same Psalm, the Lord explains how David’s erection is actually praising Him: “My faithfulness and my steadfast love shall be with him, and in my name shall his horn be exalted.” (Psalms 89:24)’