In a previous post I discussed the fact that, according to my web stats, people are really interested in biphallicism.
So, here you go. :) You know you love it.
Oh, also, I just found this.
The latter picture is significantly less safe for work than the former. :)
`An angry mob of drag racers turned on police after an illegal street racer careered into a crowd of spectators in Sydney last night.
Up to 30 people lay injured on the road and footpath as punches were thrown and officers shoved.
Dozens of police raced to the scene in South Strathfield to help bring the 50-strong crowd under control.
One of the first officers to arrive at the scene radioed for urgent back up, telling the radio operator: “The crowd has turned on us.” [..]
The melee continued early this morning outside St George hospital as the injured arrived in ambulances for treatment.’
`A state Supreme Court justice pulled over for drunk driving urged a police officer not to arrest her and cited her rulings in drunken driving cases, according to police videotapes. [..]
In the video, shot by a camera on the dashboard of the patrol car and released Friday, a police sergeant questioning Resnick in the front seat tells her he can smell alcohol on her breath. [..]
Resnick also repeatedly asks to be let go, saying, “My God, you know I decide all these cases in your favor. And my golly, look what you’re doing to me.”‘
‘Ahhh…I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again…
I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.’
`Unqualified US military medics stationed at Iraq’s Abu Ghraib prison carried out amputations, recycled used chest tubes and lacked medical supplies to treat the overcrowded jail’s inmates after the fall of Baghdad, according to a report.
The Time magazine report, to hit newsstands Monday, also said that a medic was ordered, by one account, to cover up a homicide inside the jail.
Although the prison just outside Baghdad was jammed with as many as 7,000 detainees — some of whom displayed serious mental illnesses — no US doctor was in residence for most of 2003 following the US-led invasion of Iraq.’
`An “idiot” car thief who drove a stolen vehicle straight to a London police station to confess was told he was probably too stupid to jail. [..]
Adjourning the case at Southwark Crown Court until March 2, Judge Paul Dodgson told Zaman: “Frankly, you are an idiot and I hope you realise that.”‘
‘These authentic photographs resemble the image of Jesus. They were taken in the year 2001 and are date stamped accordingly and can be yours. The negatives for these photographs mysteriously disappeared. There are two photo’s that depict the image as they appeared on the mirror and the third photo that shows an enlargement of the image as it appears in the center of the mirror. The image was discovered one day as the mirror steamed up.’
I should start up a seperate web page titled “Stupid People finding Stupid Jesus in Stupid Places”. There’s a lot of it going on these days..
`In a totally unrelated note, I got into a fight with a guy from work who insisted the iPod mini was actually a “mini iPod”. And when I brought him around to the concept (by showing him a printout of apple.com/ipodmini), he insisted they be spelt in the plural as “iPod mini’s”. [..]
Granted, if there are many of his type out there – and I’m sure there are – this is a real worry. But who cares? Fuck these people. I hope they and their shitty grammar get wiped out by a plague.
That’s right – THE plague. The Black Death. Bubonic plague. Ever heard of that one? Transmitted by rats**, and vengeful proofreaders wielding rats.***
**Sorry, fleas.
***Apparently this guy is some sort of writer. That doesn’t change anything – I still want to kill him with plague.’
Kieranmushroom was kind enough to link to my site and a bit of reciprocation never hurt anybody. Unless you count reciprocating saws. Powertools hurt lots of people, I’m sure.
Also, I want to kill people with the plague sometimes too. :)
‘A Texan family say they have found the image of Jesus in their frying pan.
Juan Pastrano, wife Mary-Lou and son Juan Jnr made the discovery when they went to wash up after a fry-up at their home in Prairie Lea.
Now they are keeping the pan in a sealed plastic bag while they decided what to do with it.’
Seriously, no one owns stupidpeoplestupidjesus.com yet. I could be on to a winner.
‘A group of homeless people in Holland who withdrew more than £70,000 from a faulty cash machine are believed to be on a Spanish beach.
The homeless people had been given special state social security cash cards which allow them to take out up to £100 a time.
But a computer glitch at a Fortis Bank cash machine in Rotterdam meant they could withdraw an unrestricted amount of cash, newspaper De Volkskrant reported.’
`A Colombian mayor shot himself in the backside while he was on the toilet. [..]
He asked to use the toilet of a local shop and disappeared into the back, reports Terra Noticias Populares.
A witness said: “All we heard was the noise of a 9mm gun firing!”
The mayor’s handgun, which he was carrying in his back pocket, had gone off wounding him in the backside.’
`A man from Swansea has discovered he sends text messages in his sleep.
Richard Griffiths, 23, has sent a series of messages – one even mirroring a nightmare he was having. [..]
He sent his first message to his mum at 2am 18 months ago reports The Sun.
A few months later he sent a text to his friend Ashley Jones saying: “Help, I’m in trouble, someone’s chasing me.” Ashley immediately rang back – and spoke to Richard who revealed he had been dreaming.
Another text, referring to the Jungle Book film he had seen with two young relatives, read: “Baloo have you seen Bagheera?”‘
`Mourners at a funeral were left terrified when a massive block of frozen urine fell from the sky.
People ducked for cover when iced toilet waste the size of a portable television hurtled down as they were leaving the church.
The lump of ice smashed into the building as around 50 mourners were standing outside and narrowly missed them as it scattered across the ground.
It is believed to have come from an aeroplane that was passing overhead.’
‘Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said on Thursday he has not decided whether to attend an international security conference next week in Germany, where he might be subject to arrest on a war-crimes complaint. [..]
He conceded in response to questions at a press conference that one problem was the jurisdiction of a German court over a 160-page criminal complaint filed Nov. 30 with the federal prosecutor’s office in Germany accusing him of war crimes in connection with detainee abuse at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq.’
I hope he goes, and I hope the Germans put him in jail and get prostitutes to menstruate on him. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, afterall.
`Semen makes you happy. That’s the remarkable conclusion of a study comparing women whose partners wear condoms with those whose partners don’t.
The study, which is bound to provoke controversy, showed that the women who were directly exposed to semen were less depressed. The researchers think this is because mood-altering hormones in semen are absorbed through the vagina. They say they have ruled out other explanations.’
Not safe for work at all. I don’t know why someone would go to the effort, really..
(3.6meg Flash video)
`After an all night bender, Bill has a problem… He’s woken up next to a dead hooker… Again. Thankfully R&H Educational Films has a step-by-step solution in this satire of 1950s partriarchy.’
Remember, if she can be identified, so can you!
Many other videos too.
This is pretty much the coolest TV series ever, and now they’re making a movie.
Good stuff. :)
`It has been revealed an Australian resident has been locked up in Baxter Detention Centre in South Australia for the past 10 months.
The 39-year-old, known as Cornelia Rau, went missing from the Manly psychiatric hospital in Sydney in March 2004.
Queensland police say she was found in that state’s far north later that month.
Police spokesman Steve Keeling says police handed Ms Rau to immigration officials on April 5, suspecting she was an illegal immigrant.’
`Until she returned from a brief visit to Mexico, Utah State University student Heilit Martinez thought she was a 20-year-old legal resident of the United States.
But since being detained by border officials, she has learned she is 18 and an illegal resident. [..]
“Up until I was 12, I thought I was an American,” she said. When she found out she wasn’t a U.S. citizen, her parents told her she was a legal resident. [..]
When they returned and were questioned by U.S. border agents, she said she was a German citizen. The border officials could not find her listed in a database of permanent foreign residents. She was taken into custody and was told she was in the United States illegally.’
`Two Colorado teens now have reason to believe the saying, “No good deed goes unpunished.”
They’ve been fined almost $900 for baking and delivering cookies to their neighbors last summer.
Taylor Ostergaard, 17 and Lindsey Jo Zellitti, 18, dropped off cookies last July to about nine scattered rural homes south of Durango.
Several neighbors said they enjoyed the unexpected treats. But one woman became so terrified by the knocks on her door around 10:30 p.m. that she ended up in the hospital after suffering an anxiety attack.’
`[A] correspondent who works for a Slovak news agency informed us that not only has the avalanche story (or any news story about an avalanche) not appeared in the news media there, but the very same tale (of Czech origin, told about an unnamed man caught in the Austrian Alps) was circulating in that country as an e-mail joke even before the heavy snows described in the article occurred.’
follow-up to Man peed way out of avalanche.
`Leona Helmsley’s dog Trouble is a fluffy Maltese small enough to fit into her purse. But when Trouble barks, Leona listens.
That’s because the 84-year-old hotel queen is said to believe that her late husband, real-estate tycoon Harry Helmsley, communicates to her through the pooch.
Someone who recently dined with Leona and her canine companion came away convinced that she sees Trouble as a psychic transmitter.’
`A senior US Marine Corps General who said it was “fun to shoot some people” should have chosen his words more carefully but will not be disciplined, military officials have said.
Lieutenant General James Mattis, who led troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, made the comments at a conference on Tuesday in San Diego.
“Actually it’s quite fun to fight them, you know. It’s a hell of a hoot. It’s fun to shoot some people. I’ll be right up front with you, I like brawling,” said Lt Gen Mattis.
“You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn’t wear a veil,” Lt Gen Mattis said during a panel discussion.
“You know, guys like that ain’t got no manhood left anyway. So it’s a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them.”‘
`Sweden’s Princess Madeleine drove her Lexus into a taxi on Thursday afternoon, sending an 85-year-old woman head first into the windshield.
“The princess was so nervous she was trembling,” the collision victim told Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet. [..]
The collision was hard enough to send the elderly passenger, sitting in the front seat, forward so that her head struck the windshield. She then struck her head on the neck support behind her. The woman has complained of neck pains after the accident.’
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