`Last night, Mr. Kevin Smith a.k.a. Silent Bob a.k.a. director of “Dogma” and “Clerks” and “Jersey Girl” (!!!) spoke at my escuela and, in the midst of a huge amount of profanity and cock jokes, he pulled out some stories about his compatriot, Jason Mewes (Jay). Jay used to be a hardcore heroin addict, but when he finally officially cleaned up about 3 years ago, he started getting way more ass.
“I fuck a lot more,” Smith said Mewes said, “and remember it more. But I fuck a lot shorter too.” Apparently one of his remembered sexcapades was everyone’s favorite walking stick, Nicole Richie, who, and I quote, “pulled Jay into a bathroom and just sat on his dick and started going at it.” While he ejaculated in approximately 30 seconds and it was “running all over her back,” she didn’t notice because she “had had a few drinks or something.” By “drinks,” I’m sure he was meant “blow” but didn’t say it since that would have been a confusingly false sex pun.’