moonbuggy

‘Watch this unlucky shot. This is a professional tournament and this final shot was to win the game.’

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`When Bobby Akien forced himself on women, he made his victims clear him in writing afterward, police say.

But his legal strategy backfired. Authorities say it helped him get caught. [..]

Police say he sneaked into her bedroom early Saturday morning and forced her to have sex while he concealed his identity. Later, detectives say, he ordered the girl to write a letter saying she had sex consensually on that day.

Then he left with the letter and her house key.’

‘Sony may be forced out of the battery manufacturing business after today announcing a global product recall for batteries it has manufactured, Dow Jones reports. [..]

According to a statement issued by Sony, “Sony Corporation will initiate a global replacement program for certain battery packs that utilize Sony-manufactured lithium ion cells used by notebook computer manufacturers in order to address concern related to recent over-heating incidents,” the company said in a statement.’

‘Some big guys car breaks down and while he pushes it to the nearest gas station his pants keep falling off.’

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`A man showed up Thursday for his preliminary hearing in Greensburg wearing a crisp dress shirt and a snappy tie — just like his attorney wanted — and a box on his head.

Yes, that’s right: a blue-and-white cardboard carton that covered his head and had two eyeholes cut in it so he could see. [..]

Box Man’s attorney, Jeff Leonard, said he decided that wearing the box would be in his client’s best interest. It literally was part of his defense, the attorney explained.

“I’m trying to think outside of the box, so to speak,” the lawyer said. [..]

Box Man’s case apparently did reach a conclusion. And he left the courthouse, with no comment coming from the box.’

`There are many thousands of Chinese restaurants around in the UK and everyone has their favourite dish, but only in China itself do chefs specialise in a range of slightly more unusual delicacies.

A glass of deer penis juice amongst food on a table at the restaurant (Photo credit: Stefan Gates)
Many of the restaurant’s guests are wealthy businessmen

The dish in front of me is grey and shiny.

“Russian dog,” says my waitress Nancy.

“Big dog,” I reply.

“Yes,” she says. “Big dog’s penis…”‘

Silly.

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`He’s seen machetes, utensils and knives.

“A pitchfork?” asked Officer Robert Vega, police spokesman. “Now I’ve seen it all.”

That was Vega’s reaction to a Wednesday report of a garage sale turned violent, an argument between buyer and seller that allegedly ended with the buyer using a pitchfork to stab the seller in the hand.’

`”Another reason [you should hire me is] your web site is very unfriendly and may sway some clients into not working with you. People use websites of companies such as yours for research and your website thinks that it is witty, but comes off very dull and cheezy.” [Editor’s note: This is the first entry in a new category we call “Insult Your Way to the Top!”]’

and `”… But that’s the past. I’ve given them a year of my life in a minimum security work camp and I’m nearing work release status where I’ll be for the next 15 months or so… I need to connect with open-minded people like myself! My crime was a ‘non-violent, victimless’ one. I’m hoping this letter is reaching people who have or do smoke weed …”‘

`An inmate serving a life term for molesting and killing a 10-year-old girl named Katie somehow got “Katie’s Revenge” tattooed across his forehead, and prison authorities were trying to determine how it happened.

The Indiana Department of Correction placed Anthony Ray Stockelman, 39, in protective custody away from the general inmate population last weekend after authorities discovered the tattoo, said Rich Larsen, a spokesman for the Wabash Valley Correctional Facility.

Stockelman was sentenced to life in prison after pleading guilty to abducting, molesting and killing Katlyn “Katie” Collman. Katie was missing for five days before her body was found January 30, 2005, in a creek about 15 miles from her home in the southern Indiana town of Crothersville.’

‘The host of a Romanian talk show has two guests on that decide at the last minute not to talk. So like any good talk show host he kicks the crap out of both of them.’

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`Harry Potter creator JK Rowling has been voted the author Americans most want to ban from libraries over fears that her books promote witchcraft.

The American Library Association (ALA), who compiled the list for their Banned Book Week, said there were more than 3,000 attempts to remove the books from libraries and schools between 2000 and 2005.

The ALA said some of the main reasons cited for protesters trying to get controversial books removed from circulation were sexually explicit material, having an occult theme or offensive language.’

`A middle school employee on Tuesday pleaded guilty to charges that he used a stun gun on a student.

Shaun Ellis, 25, faces probation to six months in prison after pleading guilty to second-degree assault, prosecutor Kerri Lombardi said.

Ellis, who worked in an after-school program at Horace Mann Middle School, called a boy out class Jan. 11 and took him to the school’s empty auditorium.

The boy said Ellis told him he was in trouble for tripping a girl the night before at an after-school basketball game, shocked him three times and punched him in the stomach, Lombardi said.

The boy described the shocks as “like 1,000 bee stings,” she said.’

‘A wedding singer belts out a tune on the dance floor when out of nowhere a dancing couple bangs into the back of the mic stand causing her to gag.’

(1.2meg Windows media)

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`A pervert who built a ‘super computer’ to store one of Britain’s biggest child porn collections featuring children as young as three being raped by adults, has been jailed for 15 months. [..]

The gay ex-sailor was eventually caught after Italian police, investigating a child porn website, passed his name to British officials.

It took them so long to categorise Ford’s “enormous” archive they had no choice but to call a halt after working non-stop for six weeks.

London’s Middlesex Guildhall Crown Court heard that even then they had only managed to examine just over a third of the material.’

`The bill rejects the right to a speedy trial and limits the traditional right to self-representation by requiring that defendants accept military defense attorneys. Panels of military officers need not reach unanimous agreement to win convictions, except in death penalty cases, and appeals must go through a second military panel before reaching a federal civilian court. [..]

At the same time, the bill immunizes U.S. officials from prosecution for cruel, inhumane or degrading treatment of detainees who the military and the CIA captured before the end of last year. It gives the president a dominant but not exclusive role in setting the rules for future interrogations of terrorism suspects.’

`A hardline Muslim teacher who caused a furore by denouncing pupils for celebrating Christmas has been made a Government schools inspector.

Israr Khan’s Ofsted appointment was described by a former colleague as ‘absolutely astonishing’.

Mr Khan, now headmaster of an Islamic school, launched into his tirade during a concert rehearsal at Washwood Heath Secondary School in Birmingham in 1996 after the choir including around 40 Muslim youngsters, had sung a number of popular Christmas songs, including carols.

He leapt from his seat, yelling: “Who is your God? Why are you saying Jesus and Jesus Christ? God is not your God – it is Allah.”

As children in the audience began booing and clapping, a number of choir members – both white and Asian – walked out, some in tears.’

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`A secret sexual relationship with his daughter was not enough.

There had to be a wedding.

And it had to be a grand celebration befitting a Fisher Island, Florida, multimillionaire who controls billions from Wall Street to Bermuda, from London to Dubai.

So on a sunny June day two years ago, father and daughter exchanged rings at Westminster Abbey.’

`Boucher, who is nearing the end of a five-year sentence for aggravated assault, struck the cow with a broomstick when the stubborn animal resisted efforts to be restrained in a stall for milking.

“I just hit it once in the butt,” he told court, adding it was a hot day and the cows were getting out of control and aggressive.

“I didn’t think there’d be any repercussions that would be this serious.”

The cow suffered a small laceration to its udder along with swelling and traces of blood in its milk but eventually made a full recovery.’

also Spike Trick Part 2 and When Everything Goes Wrong!

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`The suspect, Thomas Fatty, was milling around the 7-11 at 11 East 1700 South. Employees say they saw Fatty shoplifting the burritos and confronted him. Fatty threatened the employees, saying he had a weapon.

Police say Fatty then threw enough money on the counter for one burrito and took off. [..]

Lt. Dave Cracroft, Salt Lake City Police Dept.: “It’s strange that he would decide he needed to have the last bite of his burrito before he complied, when he had two officers pointing pistols at him.”

Fatty was booked into the Salt Lake County jail on suspicion of aggravated robbery.’

‘The late Kenneth Hagin and not-late Kenneth Copeland are seen here during a pastor’s conference in which the crowd was worked up into quite a state. “Holy Laughter”, “Spiritual Drinkenness”, dancing, thrashing about, falling out, speaking in tongues, mooing (yes, you read that right) and various and sundry other so-called pentecostal manifestions.

It becomes evident that in a room full of preachers and their wives, especially of the crazy holy-roller persuasion, no one wants to be seen as being left out or not being spiritual. So…. these kinds of mass-mind outbursts tend to snowball.’

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