Tuesday, December 19, 2006


My Miserable Christmas

Stories from people who’ve had a really bad Christmas. How bad, you ask? Here’s some excepts:

`The next thing we know, he’s on top of her, screaming and spitting. His face was all red, and all I could hear were words like “whore” and “bitch.” Before we could do anything, he snatched up the corkscrew and put both my mom’s eyes out.’

`Two Christmases ago my parents went to pick up my grandparents from some friends, and some drunk idiot caused a car crash, which they all died in. Dad was actually in a coma for a bit, but they turned the machines off on January 3rd. Everyone else died on impact. Mom was beheaded by a piece of metal flying through the windscreen.’

`I got so drunk I covered myself in peanut butter and started screaming, “Where’s that fat Santa with the jelly, we need a sandwich bitch!”‘

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