moonbuggy

This is a bit strange.

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‘All you need is your own security tag, you set off the security alarm and then you try to get away from the security guard. [..]

You ain’t nicked nothing, but they’ll still chase ya, so leg it.’

There’s something hilarious about a man running around a shopping center being chased by a security guard whilst yelling “C’mon fatty!”.

(13.2meg Flash video)

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`A couple’s ill-concealed sexual play aboard a Southwest Airlines flight from Los Angeles got them charged with violating the Patriot Act, intended for terrorist acts, and could land them in jail for 20 years.

According to their indictment, Carl Persing and Dawn Sewell were allegedly snuggling and kissing inappropriately, “making other passengers uncomfortable,” when a flight attendant asked them to stop. [..]

They have been placed under legal surveillance until their trial on February 5. If found guilty, they both could be sent to jail for up to 20 years.’

`Bryan James Hathaway, 20, of Superior, was arrested on “a misdemeanour charge of sexual gratification with an animal” after indulging in intercourse with said deceased deer on 11 October.

His attorney, public defender Fredric Anderson, last week filed a motion with a Douglas County court which argued “because the deer was dead, it was not considered an animal and the charge should be dismissed”. He wrote: “The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass.” [..]

Judge Lucci summed the matter up concisely with: “I’m a little surprised this issue hasn’t been tackled before in another case.” He then promised to render a decision before Hathaway’s next court appearance on 1 December.’

`A botched kidnapping ended with one of the assailants shooting himself in the groin, Wichita police said.

The man had just stuck the gun back into his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle. He cringed, causing the gun to fire again and strike him in the left calf.

When the shooting ended, the 23-year-old man managed to walk himself into the hospital for treatment, police said. He and his two accomplices, ages 18 and 20, were arrested for aggravated attempted kidnapping and conspiracy to obstruct justice.

The men were attempting to kidnap a teen in a dispute over stereo speakers, police said.’

`A Thai zoo, which has hosted a couple of pandas for four years, will play “porn” videos for the male next month to encourage them to breed in captivity, the project manager said on Saturday.

The pair — living chastely together at the zoo in the northern city of Chiang Mai since arriving from China in 2003 — would be separated in December, but stay close enough for occasional glimpses of each other, said panda project chief Prasertsak Buntrakoonpoontawee.

“They don’t know how to mate so we need to show the male how, through videos,” Prasertsak told Reuters.

He said Chuang Chuang, the six-year-old male, would be shown the videos on a large screen when he might be feeling amorous.’

`Nearly six months after authorities discovered the body of a missing New Jersey college student in a Pennsylvania landfill, investigators are now looking at whether his death was the tragic result of a game of hide-and-seek.

In a mass e-mail sent to students at The College of New Jersey on Wednesday, school officials asked if they knew of any students playing hide-and-seek in Wolfe Hall around the time John Fiocco Jr. went missing in March. Investigators also asked about Fiocco specifically.

“Do you have any knowledge of John Fiocco Jr. engaging in any such game on the ground floor of Wolfe Hall, within the compactor room or any nearby area, at any time?” the e-mail asks.

The circumstances over John Fiocco Jr.’s death remain cloudy.’

`We’re probably all guilty of the occasional Web slip-up. Instead of IM-ing your coworker to complain about your wife, you get mixed up and IM your wife herself. Or instead of forwarding that note from the boss–along with a snarky comment–to your friend, you hit reply. Or for a quick hit of mortification, just take a look at your MySpace page.

Those little missteps, alas, are trifles compared with the most embarrassing incidents on the Web.’

`Turkey’s Internet celebrity Mahir Cagri is so convinced he was the inspiration for the Kazakh journalist character Borat Sagdiyev that he plans to travel to London seeking ways he can benefit from the movie that has surprised Hollywood with a No. 1 debut.

Cagri, 44, became a cyber celebrity after he posted a personal Web site in 1999, which featured unintentionally amusing photos of himself playing pingpong or the accordion and sunbathing in a skimpy bathing suit.

Word of the site spread quickly and the Web site received more than a million hits from fans poking fun at, or endeared by his broken English and as well as a hilarious invitation to women: “Who is want to come TURKEY I can invitate … She can stay my home.”‘

followup to: WELCOME TO MY HOME PAGE !!!!!!!!! I KISS YOU !!!!!

`The book, which was to have been published on November 30 by the News Corp-owned HarperCollins imprint ReganBooks, was touted as featuring Simpson discussing how he would have carried out the 1994 murders of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman, if he were the one responsible.

The book, titled If I Did It, was to have been preceded by a two-part Fox television interview of Simpson conducted by the publisher, Judith Regan. Fox, like HarperCollins, is a unit of News Corp.’

`After seeing the chaos of Hurricane Katrina, a city councilor in this tiny Idaho town founded by pacifist Quakers came up with a novel idea.

Ordinance 208, passed by the City Council on Tuesday, asks Greenleaf’s 862 residents who do not object on religious or other grounds to keep a gun at home in case they are overrun by refugees from the Gulf Coast.

“This is not an ‘it’ll never happen here’ kind of thing,” said Steven Jett, the ordinance’s sponsor. “We could get refugees.”‘

`Fire chiefs are reportedly blaming health and safety regulations for the decision to send 40 firefighters to rescue a single sheep.

The emergency services received a 999 call when the animal got trapped on a ledge above a flooded quarry in Bacup, Lancashire.

The sheep’s owner was amazed when seven fire crews were sent to his aid.

They performed a delicate, two-hour operation involving a team using wetsuits and an inflatable boat.’

`Cosmic Latte is the color of the universe, according to a team of astronomers from Johns Hopkins University. In 2001, Karl Glazebrook and Ivan Baldry determined that the color of the universe was a greenish white, but they soon corrected their analysis in “The 2dF Galaxy Redshift Survey: constraints on cosmic star-formation history from the cosmic spectrum”, published in 2002. In this paper, they reported that their survey of the color of all light in the universe added up to a slightly beige white. The survey included more than 200,000 galaxies, and measured the spectral range of the light from a large volume of the universe. The hexadecimal RGB value for Cosmic Latte is #FFF8E7. ‘

`The Drug Enforcement Administration agents were near the Philip Burton Federal Building at 1:15 p.m. when a man passed them on the 400 block of Turk Street carrying a cardboard box. The box, emblazoned with the logo of a common brand of hydroponics equipment, reeked of marijuana. [..]

The narcotics agents stopped the man and asked what was in the box. He showed them about 1.5 pounds of marijuana, 12 ounces of hashish and an electronic scale.

Then, in a move that apparently stunned the 20-year-old Eureka resident, the agents took his pot away. While his crime was too minor to prosecute under federal law, the federal government does consider marijuana to be contraband, McEnry said. [..]

Realizing the DEA did not intend to return his stash, the man then called 911 on his cell phone to report the incident to San Francisco police.’

`A constable who took a Taser to a central Auckland domestic dispute wound up shocking himself and a 16-year-old and later pepper-spraying an innocent 21-year-old woman.

The constable accidentally blasted himself with the Taser’s 50,000 volts as he reloaded the weapon while trying to stun a man at the centre of the domestic incident on October 1. One shot accidentally struck the man’s teenage son.

After five attempts to hit the man, the officer eventually used pepper spray. This hit the man’s 21-year-old daughter, also an unintended target.

The man eventually gave himself up. The constable, who had had Taser training, was not injured.’

‘Some dude tries to rob a store with a pretty big knife only to be trumped by the clerks friggin machete.’

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‘By the time doctors finally discovered what had poisoned Alexander Litvinenko, he had only three hours to live.

As he lay unconscious, his wife Marina holding his hand and his ten-year-old son, Anatoli, stroking his forehead, a laboratory test on a urine sample identified the lethal element polonium-210 as the silent killer ravaging his body. [..]

The revelations about polonium-210 provoked a new rush of conspiracy theories. Security experts said this was no crude grudge killing but was the work of assassins with likely access to a nuclear installation, not just to a radioactive isotope that could be acquired from medical waste.’

I used to work a bit with polonium-210. Never did me any harm. But I s’pose I was playing with only nanograms at a time and definitely not eating it. :)

`A girl of two was crushed to death by her father’s lorry driven by her 11-year-old brother, a court heard yesterday.

Crystal Collier’s father Gary, 37, watched in horror as the adored youngster he called “my princess” was repeatedly hit by the wheels of the skip truck.

He will be sentenced today after earlier admitting manslaughter through gross negligence, and faces jail.’

It’s been a while since I’ve had any good NSFW stuff. Here you go. :)

`Bare-chested and fuelled by drunken bravado, he dangles from a 25,000 volt power cable.

If he had tried his foolish stunt at any other time, Shane White would have been fried.

Fortunately for him, however, he had unwittingly picked a seven minute period when the power was turned off – the first in 15 months. [..]

“It was completely and utterly idiotic. I know I’m a fool for doing it.”

White, unemployed, said he was so drunk on cider and beer that he had no memory of his actions until he saw the picture in a newspaper.’

`U.S. Coast Guards have seized a submarine carrying 3.5 tons of cocaine in the Pacific Ocean off Costa Rica and arrested three Colombians on board, the Costa Rican Coast Guard said on Sunday.

The submarine appeared to be a makeshift vessel unlike military submarines or those used by oceanographers. It could only submerge 6 feet under water, Costa Rican Coast Guard spokesman Jose Antonio Fallas told Reuters.

The 45-foot-long vessel was found last Wednesday near the remote Coco Island, southwest of the Central American mainland, and had traveled hundreds of miles from Colombia on its way to the United States.’

`A seizure took over Beloungea’s body while walking through his suburban Detroit neighborhood last April. When an onlooker in a neighbor’s house saw Beloungea having the seizure, which includes rapid repetitive arm motion, she misinterpreted it as criminal conduct. Specifically, she thought Beloungea was masturbating in public.

With that misconception in mind, she called the Oakland Police Department. When police arrived on the scene, Beloungea was still undergoing his seizure, acting disoriented and not responding to questions.

When officers couldn’t get through to Beloungea they drew their weapons, shocked him with a high-voltage taser, hit him with a baton and wrestled him to the ground. They then handcuffed him and put him in a police car.’

‘On a recent Springer episode the topic was Midget Fights and Todd dates a Tranny. The midget fight portion featured one of the funniest Springer brawls ever.’

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`A man who mailed a bomb to a doctor because he was angry about how his penis enlargement surgery turned out was sentenced Tuesday to four years and 10 months in prison.

Blake Steidler, 25, of Reamstown, put the bomb in the mail on Feb. 11, 2005, in North Bloomfield, Ohio, addressed to the doctor in Chicago. After returning home, he called 911 and told police what he had done. The bomb was retrieved from the mail and destroyed; no one was injured.

Steidler pleaded guilty in April to use of a weapon of mass destruction and other charges. Defense lawyer Luis A. Ortiz said at the time of the plea that his client was mentally ill.’

Seriously tho.. Weapons of mass destruction?

`Heroin should be prescribed to drug addicts to curb crime, the deputy chief constable of Nottinghamshire has said at a drugs conference.

Howard Roberts told an Association of Chief Police Officers’ conference in Manchester the idea should be assessed.

He said the treatment would cost £12,000 a year per addict but added that drug users steal property valued at an average of £45,000 a year.’

‘This guy is incredibly stupid and incredibly lucky. He decides it would be cool to jump off a ladder over a moving car. This could have ended so much worse.’

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This fellow wanted to take pictures of people that would ‘reveal a hidden part of their character’. So, he took pictures of them while they were playing video games.

No doubt I had looks like these on my face at various times with all the Neverwinter Nights I’ve been playing lately. :)

`Many people on the rundown northwest Atlanta street where Kathryn Johnston lived fortify their windows with metal bars and arm themselves for protection. Johnston, 92, was no exception. She was waiting with her gun on Tuesday night when a group of plainclothes officers with a warrant knocked down her door in a search for drugs, police said. She opened fire, wounding three officers, before being shot to death, police said.

Assistant Police Chief Alan Dreher called the killing “tragic and unfortunate” but said the officers were justified in returning fire.’

‘This is hilarious. This dude fails the sobriety test before it even begins. The cop asks him to hold a tape and place it on the ground and he [..]’

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`Junior Matthew LaClair, 16, said history teacher David Paszkiewicz, who is also a Baptist preacher in town, spent the first week of class lecturing students more about heaven and hell than the colonies and the Constitution.

LaClair said Paszkiewicz told students that if they didn’t accept Jesus, “you belong in hell.” He also dismissed as unscientific the theories of evolution and the “Big Bang.” [..]

On Oct. 10 — a month after he first requested a meeting with the principal — LaClair met with Paszkiewicz, Somma and the head of the social studies department.

At first, Paszkiewicz denied he mixed in religion with his history lesson, and the adults in the room appeared to be buying it, LaClair said. But then he reached into his backpack and produced the CDs.’