`Authorities said a fight broke out on board a flight arriving at Miami International Airport on Wednesday morning. [..]
The FBI said that about two hours before the flight was scheduled to land, the Japanese man elbowed the passenger sitting next to him. Federal authorities said the Japanese man didn’t think the passenger should be using an iPod in flight and complained that he smelled. He then poured perfume on the man, poured water on himself and vomited in the aisle, authorities said.’
`A baby died after rolling off a bed and falling into a bucket of her teenage mother’s vomit at a homeless shelter, police said.
The mother, Savarin DeJesus, 18, was charged with criminally negligent homicide and endangering the welfare of a child, and could get five years behind bars. [..]
Authorities said DeJesus spent the evening of Sept. 15 downing gin and smoking cigarettes and then returned before dawn to the shelter where she lived with the 4-month old girl, Niah. DeJesus threw up into a bucket of cleaning solution next to her bed, then passed out on the bed, clutching Niah’s legs, authorities said.’
6,000,000 light years beyond believability!
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`Thailand’s coup leaders have banned go-go dancers from performing for troops on the streets of Bangkok, fearing soldiers may be distracted.
A troupe of scantily-clad women danced for soldiers near the Royal Plaza on Monday, as part of entertainments paid for by a local radio station.
But the coup’s leaders – who had earlier told soldiers to keep smiling – have now banned all dancing near tanks.
“We have to maintain the seriousness of the coup,” a military spokesman said.’
`A teddy bear has been implicated in 2,500 deaths — trout deaths, that is.
State officials say a teddy bear that fell into a pool at a Fish and Game Department hatchery earlier this month clogged a drain. The clog blocked the flow of oxygen to the pool and suffocated the fish.
Hatcheries supervisor Robert Fawcett said the bear, dressed in yellow raincoat and hat, is believed to be the first stuffed toy to cause fatalities at the facility.’
`He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom “Saved by the Bell.” But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.
Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.
We can’t get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a “Dirty Sanchez.”‘
`David Hasselhoff lied to cops when he allegedly called 911 to report that his younger daughter attempted to commit suicide, according to his estranged wife, Pamela Bach. And Bach tells TMZ Hasselhoff made the call out of pure revenge.
TMZ first reported that police and paramedics responded to Hasselhoff”s 911 call Sunday night. Multiple police sources told TMZ the former “Baywatch” star reported that his younger daughter was “cut” and it was a suicide attempt. Now Pamela Bach tells TMZ that her daughter never attempted suicide and that David knew it. Bach claims David used his daughter as a pawn, telling Bach, “You’re going down. I’m calling the police.”‘
`The Iraq war is a “cause celebre” swelling the ranks of Islamist terrorists, who are likely to grow in numbers for the next five years, a newly declassified US intelligence report has said.
The National Intelligence Estimate, which represents the consensus of the 16 US spy agencies, said the US-led campaign since September 11, 2001, had significantly hurt al Qaeda, but that extermists were nevertheless growing in number across the world.
It said this would lead to “increasing attacks worldwide” for the next five years.’
`Jack Neal briefly became the proud owner of a pink convertible after he managed to buy it for $US17,000 on the Internet, despite being only three-years-old.
Jack’s mother Rachel Neal says she left her password for the eBay auction site in her computer and her son used the ‘buy it now’ option to complete the purchase.
“Jack’s a whiz on the PC and just pressed all the right buttons,” she said.’
`Hey, I like tiny phones as much as the next guy, but this is insane. Take a gander at the Xun Chi 138, purported to be the world’s smallest cellphone. You won’t here any arguments from me on that front; it’s freakin’ tiny. But the problem is that it’s so small there isn’t even room for a keypad, forcing you to use the stylus and touchscreen to do any input. Plus, there’s the danger that you could accidentally swallow it while making a call. [..]’
`When the rare birds of paradise escaped from his suitcase and flew over the heads of U.S. Customs Agents at Los Angeles International Airport, Robert Cusack decided it was best to confess that, yes, he did have more to declare.
“I have monkeys in my pants,” Cusack told the agents.’
`Welsh-speaking cyclists have been left baffled – and possibly concerned for their health – after a bizarre translation mix-up.
For instead of a road sign telling them to dismount, the Welsh translation informs them that ‘bladder disease has returned’.
The temporary sign, placed in front of the roadworks at Barons Court roundabout between Penarth and Cardiff, correctly says ‘cyclists dismount’ in English, but says ‘llid y bledren dymchwelyd’ in Welsh.’
`It looks like the new Rolling Stone due out tomorrow will have a doozy of an article by RFK, Jr. whick will look into whether the 2006 election can be hacked. Based on a few blurbs that were “sneak previewed” by Raw Story it looks like there is an even bigger story in that article – an admission by a Diebold consultant that machine software was altered in 5,000 machines in DeKalb and Fulton counties on the day of the election.
If anyone remembers the 2002 election in Georgia, that is the one where Max Cleland’s five to six point lead was erased overnight to a seven point loss, leading to a miraculous win by Saxby Chambliss, which even describes his come from behind win as “stunning and historical” in his Senate website.’
`Wil Kemp, a reptile keeper at Rockhampton Zoo, in central Queensland, and his fiancee Kahila Pepper, named their son Tai, who was born prematurely on September 5, after the taipan. [..]
As news of the Crocodile Hunter’s death reached Mr Kemp and his fiancee, they gave Tai the middle name of Irwin after their wildlife hero.
And now they say they will feed Tai’s placenta to their three pet goannas, which live in pits in the family’s backyard bordering the zoo, following a family gathering on Sunday.
“I think we’ll just break some beers, chuck it in and do it,” Mr Kemp, 21, said.’
`And although Hitler’s distinguished biographer Sir Ian Kershaw has rightly dismissed Hitler’s feelings for Stefanie as ‘a juvenile infatuation’, the passion with which Hitler stalked her and fantasised about kidnapping and committing suicide with her lets us glimpse the mentality of the person he was destined to become.
Furthermore, August Kubizek’s account reveals that Hitler was utterly unconcerned as to whether the girl after whom he lusted was Jewish or not.’
‘CBS 2 New York Meteorologist Audrey Puente slips up when trying to describe a rip current. Jeez between this and the MSNBC black cock comment it makes you wonder what these news women really wish they were reporting about.’
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`A security expert in New York has learned how to get free money from some ATMs by entering a special code sequence on the PIN pad.
Last week, news reports circulated about a cyber thief who strolled into a gas station in Virginia Beach, Virginia, and, with no special equipment, reprogrammed the mini ATM in the corner to think it had $5.00 bills in its dispensing tray, instead of $20.00 bills.
Using a pre-paid debit card, the crook then made a withdrawal, and casually strolled off with a 300% profit in his pocket.’
`Henrietta the chicken was living inconspicuously for 18 months among 36,000 other chickens at Brendle Farms – until a farm foreman discovered she had four legs.
Farm-owner Mike Brendle was amazed by the discovery among his standard two-legged, egg-laying hens.
“It’s as healthy as the rest,” he said.’
‘Steve, still weakened by the radiation he took, must try to rescue Jamie from the alien rebels. You kids with your “Lost” – this was the television event of the decade back in the 70’s.’
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`Maggot Art™ is a fantastic new teaching tool for use in the elementary school setting. Children get hands-on experience with insects that most people find truly disgusting — maggots — while creating a beautiful piece of artwork to share with others.’
`Yes, that’s a pistol completely stuffed into the vaginal vault. All of a sudden her agitation and thrashing about seemed a lot more important than it had a few minutes before. How the hell were we to get the gun out without the damn thing discharging?
In the end, there was no real option. She was sedated and taken to the OR for an exam under anesthesia. They put a bulletproof vest over the patient’s body to protect the anesthesiologist in the event the gun went off, and had general surgery standing by. [..]’
‘Even Popeye is affected by the recent outbreak of Ecoli in spinach.’
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`A car commercial proclaiming a jihad on the US auto market and offering “Fatwa Fridays” with free swords for the kids is offensive and should not be aired, Muslim leaders say.
The radio advertisement for the Dennis Mitsubishi car dealership in Columbus, Ohio, has “a whole jihad theme,” said Adnan Mirza, director of the Columbus office of the Council on American-Islamic Relations.
“They are planning on launching a jihad on the automotive market and their representatives would be wearing burqas … ,” Mirza said. “They mentioned the pope in there and also about giving rubber swords out to the kiddies – really just reprehensible-type comments.”‘
`A plan in the early 1970s to create a massive artificial reef off Fort Lauderdale has turned into an environmental mess with the U.S. Navy, Broward County and others trying to figure out how to remove about two million tires covering 36 acres of ocean floor. [..]
”They thought it would be a good fish habitat. It turned out to be a bad idea,” said William Nuckols, project coordinator and military liaison for Coastal America, a federal group involved in the cleanup. “It’s a coastal coral destruction machine.”’
`Enjoy sending a completely original spring loaded surprise to those on your A-Hole list…They will receive their specially gift wrapped glossy white box, cut the fancy bow and KA-BOINNNGGG! A custom made Spring Loaded Ass in their face will shock and surprise them!’
‘A racy music video that asks the crucial question, “Do you take it?”.’
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‘If you were banging a blow up doll wouldn’t you lock the freakin door? I’ll let you be the judge.’
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`What are claimed to be the world’s first specially bred hypoallergenic cats have gone on sale in the US.
US biotech firm Allerca says it has managed to selectively breed them by reducing a certain type of protein that triggers allergic reactions. [..]
The BBC’s Pascale Harter says there could soon be a global market for the kittens – in the US alone 38 million households own a cat, and around the world an estimated 35% of humans suffer from allergies.’
Y’all know ya want a piece of my chicken..
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