moonbuggy

This is a site run by an apartment complex manager, with lots of interesting and amusing stories about her dealings with tenants. For example, a letter to a tenant:

‘Dear Mr. Levert,

I understand that it’s quite frustrating to receive many upon many late rent notices when you seem pretty convinced you brought the cheque on the first of the month. I also understand that you’re a very busy man and “don’t have time for this shit”, and that I should just, as you eloquently put it, “fucking fix it.” [..]

But it’s all okay, because calling you and getting screamed at that you don’t have time to fix our fuck-up and that we better stop sending late rent notice makes me feel quite special, especially as the eviction date draws closer (and I love nothing more than having TWO pending evictions in one month). [..]’

‘Every once in a while you’ll stumble upon a forum or an online community that is so specific, so insane, so completely ridiculous that you are forced to conclude that you have reached the end of the Internet. Sure, you may continue on your merry clicking way, but you do so with the deep-seated feeling that there is nowhere else to look; you have seen everything the Internet could possibly hope to provide. Here are the eight online communities that killed our adventurous spirit, made us sure that we’d seen everything the online world has to offer, and even more certain that we didn’t want to try to find anything more depressingly fascinating.’

I don’t think I’d seen the #1 strangest community before. It’s rare, these days, to come across a strange fetish I’ve never heard of before. But, that’s the internet for you. Strange. :)

They’re gonna break their elbows, surely.

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‘The blood that stained the courtyard of the modest Thousand Oaks apartment complex had been washed away by Monday morning. In its place stood a makeshift memorial: A teddy bear and a few balloons. A Winnie-the-Pooh baby blanket. And a single rose for every year the young victim had lived.

Sev’n Molina, age 6, was hacked to death with a meat cleaver Sunday night, as his mother fought to save his life, terrified neighbors called 911 and the bravest among them tried to intervene in the grisly struggle. [..]

After the boy burst from the apartment into the communal courtyard, witnesses said, Sharp followed him, wielding the cleaver, and began hacking at the child’s head and shouting, “Die, die!”‘

On his last day of work his colleagues decide to put his car up on cinder blocks so he can’t drive away. I wonder how long it took him to figure it out. :)

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‘Like any three-year-old, Tom Trueman is constantly at risk of taking a tumble.

But in his case every fall could prove fatal – which is why he wears a safety helmet every waking moment.

Tom, who has already had ten operations, had half of his skull removed after a hospital infection attacked most of the bones in his head.

He has astounded doctors with his progress since but, as his everwatchful parents know, a knock from a fall or a glancing blow from a stray football could cause permanent brain damage or prove fatal.’

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‘US researchers say they have invented a lightweight paper battery that could serve as an enhanced power storage device for the next generation of consumer electronic devices.

The battery produces electricity in the same way as the conventional lithium-ion batteries that power so many of today’s gadgets, but all the components have been incorporated into a lightweight, flexible sheet of paper.

An early prototype of the device, just big enough to be held between thumb and forefinger, kicks out 2.5 volts, enough juice to power a small fan, or illuminate a light, and its inventors say the battery can be easily scaled up to provide enough power to run any number of electronic gadgets.

“You can stack one sheet on top of another to boost the power output,” said Robert Linhardt, a biology and chemistry professor at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, New York, and a project team member.’

‘When a little green plant cropped up suddenly in Helge and Helga Nilsson’s garden a couple of months ago, they thought nothing of it. In fact, thinking it was rather pretty, they nurtured it as it grew until it was one-and-a-half metres tall.

The couple, from Löddeköpinge, near Lund in southern Sweden, did not know the name of their plant until they saw a television report about drugs which showed footage of cannabis plants. Helga Nilsson reacted immediately.
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“Lord, Helge – we’ve got one of those in the garden,” were Mrs Nilsson’s words to her husband after seeing the report, according to Sydsvenskan.

The couple asked the Lund Botanical Gardens for advice, and now plan to remove the plant, although the couple say they will be sorry to see it go.

“It’s really quite decorative,” Mr. Nilsson said’

‘This poor little guy kept getting picked on until he finally had enough and ended up whopping the bigger guys ass. When it was over the bully ended up leaving the party crying.’

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‘The head of a Chinese toy manufacturing company whose products were the target of a massive recall in the U.S. because they contained lead-tainted paint has committed suicide.

Zhang Shuhong, who ran the Lee Der Industrial Co. Ltd., was found hanged in his warehouse Monday morning.

His death comes days after the Chinese government announced a temporary ban on exports by the company.

Earlier this month, Mattel subsidiary Fisher-Price said it was recalling 967,000 toys — including the popular Big Bird, Elmo, Dora and Diego characters — because their paint contained excessive amounts of lead. The Fisher-Price recall involved 83 types of plastic preschool toys made by the Chinese vendor and sold in the United States between May and August.’

‘I once got talking to a guy whose job it was to go into a company, sit alongside the Systems Administrator for two weeks, and write a professional audit on his processes and practices.

Naturally the sys admin would be on his best behavior, showing off all the clever things he did to keep the company’s computer network ticking over.

At the end of the two weeks, the sys admin would be fired. There was never any audit: this was just the method the company used to replace their IT people without disruption, making sure the new guy was trained up and the old guy didn’t cause any damage before he left.’

‘A teenager was taken to hospital after overdosing on espresso coffee.

Jasmine Willis, 17, developed a fever and began hyperventilating after drinking seven double espressos while working at her family’s sandwich shop.

The student, of Stanley, County Durham, was taken to the University Hospital of North Durham, where doctors confirmed she had overdosed on caffeine.

She has since made a full recovery and is now warning others about the dangers of excessive coffee drinking.

Ms Willis, who had thought the coffees were single measures, said the effects were so severe that she began laughing and crying for no reason while serving customers at the shop.’

‘The Sheboygan County Sheriff’s Department was seeking a man Monday who broke into a home and tried to steal from a toddler’s piggy bank. [..]

Sheriff’s Capt. Dave Adams gave the following account:

Julie Herscheb of Wilson woke Friday night and heard a noise about 10:30 p.m.

With her husband asleep in the basement, she grabbed a baseball bat and opened the door to her 2-year-old daughter’s bedroom. Herscheb saw a man trying to shake money from the child’s piggy bank.

She shut the door and went to call 911. She dropped the phone, making a noise. The man was gone when deputies arrived.’

If your friend ate your lunch would you shoot then with a paintball gun to teach them a lesson? What if they were standing on a ladder at the time? :)

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‘”Brady Bunch” parody “Not the Bradys XXX” hits stores Sept. 18, bringing back memories of the sweet innocent times of the 1970s, according to the company.

“This movie just makes you feel good as you watch it,” said co-producer Scott David of X-Play, which produced the movie with distribution coming through LFP.

“This is a family-style porn movie, which I’m not sure has ever been done,” said the movie’s co-producer Jeff Mullen. “We live in an era of extremely hardcore sex where double-doubles and reverse bukkakees with anal triple-Lutz moves reign supreme, however ‘Not the Bradys XXX’ isn’t about that, but it is the kind of movie you can show the entire family. [..]

The film also stars Mike Horner playing the sensible father, Alana Evans as Carol the mom, Lynn LeMay as Alice and Ron Jeremy as Sam the Butcher. [..]’

‘News agency Reuters has been forced to admit that footage it released last week purportedly showing Russian submersibles on the seabed of the North Pole actually came from the movie Titanic.

The images were reproduced around the world – including by the Guardian and Guardian Unlimited – alongside the story of Russia planting its flag below the North Pole on Thursday last week. [..]

The mistake was only revealed after a 13-year-old Finnish schoolboy contacted a local newspaper to tell them the images looked identical to those used in the movie.’

Followup to Russians to dive below North Pole.

‘Leroy Greer meant to say it with flowers to his girlfriend, but his wife heard about it too, and now the whole arrangement is in federal court.

Claiming 1-800-flowers.com made his life considerably less rosy, Greer sued the flower delivery company, alleging it made his divorce case thornier by faxing his wife a receipt for flowers he had sent his girlfriend — along with the romantic words he wrote for the card.

The suit, filed this week in Houston, asks that the company pay for his mental anguish and for the increased amount he figures he’ll have to pay in his divorce case, pending since 2005 in Fort Bend County, because his wife has new evidence against him.’

Some guy is dared to dip his whole head in a bucket of paint. How can you resist such a dare? :)

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‘Three hundred chickens died in panic early on Sunday when a drunken German teenager on a joyride crashed a van into their shed, police said.

“Apparently some of the chickens were so desperate to get away that they ran into the wall and died,” the spokesman said. “Others suffered heart attacks.”‘

‘A grandmother taking a leisurely swim in a Swedish river ended up in the hospital after a beaver attacked her with its tail, regional newspaper Nerikes Allehanda reported Wednesday.

Police sources said it was the second time a beaver had attacked humans at the beach on the banks of the Bottenaa River, around 150 kilometres (93 miles) west of Stockholm, the newspaper reported.

“The beaver attacked the grandmother. She was seriously hit by the animal’s tail and received a number of bites and scratches,” an officer told the newspaper.

The authorities have decided to kill the dozen or so beavers living near the beach to eliminate any further risk to local bathers.’

‘We just received a tip that the source code for the Facebook main index page has been leaked and published on a blog called Facebook Secrets. There are at least two possible ways that the source code got out – the first is that a Facebook developer has sent it out, or the more likely option that a security hole or other method has been used on either one of the Facebook servers or in their source code repository to reveal the code. The blog that published the code only has a single post on it, so it was created exclusively to publish this code – meaning that whoever is behind this both isn’t taking credit for the hole and doesn’t want to be associated with it. While there is no certain way to verify if the code is actually from Facebook, by taking a quick look through the code and by double-checking some paths that have been referenced, we can say with some certainty that this seems to be both real and also a recent version of the main Facebook page.’

‘Police have used a stun gun to subdue a man who smeared himself with faeces and blood after being thrown out of a Gold Coast nightclub.

Officers were called after a security guard was assaulted by a man who had been evicted from the club in Orchid Avenue, Surfers Paradise, around 3.30am (AEST) today.

By the time officers arrived, the man had undressed himself and covered his entire body in faeces and blood, police said.’

‘Every hour Jack breaks through the door and the famous line “Here’s Johnny” plays followed by the scream of Shelly Duvall’

‘You’ve probably never heard of the E70 because Nokia’s marketing team is busy finding every last dick in the universe to suck, so I’m going to do their job for them and tell you about this product. And no, I’m not being paid to do this. I’m just tired of the iPhone fanboys shooting huge sticky wads and high-fiving each other (literally) over their stupid cellphones.

First of all, the E70 has a full keyboard, not some shitty stripped down, tap-and-pray smudgy piece of shit. Nokia uses a technology that’s even more advanced than the iPhone’s tap screen, allowing you to actually feel the keys you press as you’re pressing them! The technology is called “tactile response,” and it allows you to do things like dial a phone number without staring at your screen like a shit-chucking ape. In fact, every other cellphone ever made has this technology, sometimes called “buttons.”‘

‘Tall girl in design with the short brown hair- You have horrendous body odor! I’m not talking a little stench here and there I am talking everyday when you walk into the building people drop dead. I don’t know how you don’t notice it. I’m going to buy you deodorant for Christmas.

Fat woman who works in suite 19- I don’t know exactly what you do for this company, but I know far too much about your personal life. When you talk to your boyfriend on company time, please refrain from telling him it felt so good when he slipped his hard dick into your fat ass! Yea I heard that, and so does everyone else that walks by your suite when you are on the phone. It’s disgusting, and we don’t want to hear about it, so keep your voice down.’

‘An armed robber was no match for a 7-year-old girl in Reidsville, North Carolina.

The gunman tried to hold-up the convenience store where little Alisha’s mom was working. (She didn’t want to reveal her last name.)

Alisha rushed to her mom’s defense when the robber pushed her. Alisha shoved him right back.

“I was pushing on him and telling him to ‘back away, back away man.’

“I didn’t want him to hurt mommy.”

Stymied by the little girl, the gunman gave up on the cash and stole some cigarettes. Then he ran from the store.’

‘Take your breasts off at the door and sit down.’

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‘To observe the motion of an electron – an elementary particle with a mass that is one billionth of a billionth of a billionth of a gram – has been considered to be impossible. So when two Brown University physicists showed movies of electrons moving through liquid helium at the 2006 International Symposium on Quantum Fluids and Solids in Kyoto, they raised some eyebrows.

The images, which were published online on May 31, 2007, in the Journal of Low Temperature Physics, show scattered points of light moving down the screen – some in straight lines, some following a snakelike path. The Matrix it’s not. Still, the fact that they can be seen at all is astounding. “We were astonished when we first saw an electron moving across the screen,” said Humphrey Maris, a professor of physics at Brown University. “Once we had the idea, setting it up was surprisingly easy.”‘

‘I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.’