moonbuggy

Hooray for the Lamb of God. :)

‘A city woman who apparently thought she couldn’t be arrested for stealing once she left the store was in fact charged with multiple misdemeanors yesterday after, police said, she fought with the Neiman Marcus security guard who caught her.

Jazmine Roberts, 19, “went into a rage, repeatedly yelling ‘it’s too late, I already left the store,’ ” according to a police report of the incident, which took place shortly before 4 p.m. at Maple Avenue and Paulding Street.

Roberts, of 86 Dekalb Ave., was seen stealing a $251 pair of jeans at the store by the guard who, police said, followed her outside and apprehended her after a struggle during which Roberts allegedly pulled the guard’s hair, bit her on the wrist and choked her. The guard, who was not identified, was not seriously injured.’

All sorts of stats about the world population.

‘There has to be an Orwell Corollary to Godwin’s Law, one that says any discussion of today’s Republican Party will invariably lead to comparisons with 1984. That’s the easy place to run when trying to sum up the miasma of misdirection and jingoism that passes for Republican speech. But, damn it, when the candidates insist on treating the utterances of the Ministry of Truth as a textbook, what can you do? [..]

“Freedom is not a concept in which people can do anything they want, be anything they can be. Freedom is about authority. Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do.”‘

‘All across America, a mysterious disease is wiping out bee colonies. This malady causes all the bees in a hive to seemingly vanish overnight, abandoning their brood in the nursery, as well as their stores of honey and pollen. Other bees and pests, which normally plunder deserted honey, shun these hives. This baffling die-off dealt a financial blow to commercial beekeepers this season and raised fears of environmental and economic disaster. For farmers, no bees means no pollination.

But pollination is happening like mad in Leah Fortin’s tiny yard in North Oakland, Calif. Busy little bee bodies cover the clumps of lavender, salvia and roses that line her driveway. More bees work the malaleucas on the parking strip, those trees with shaggy bark that look like giant Q-tips when they’re in bloom.’

‘A man confessed to breaking into a Porter County probation office and stealing two urine samples, including his own, police said.

Joseph Klinkman, 23, of Valparaiso faces a burglary charge for Tuesday night’s break-in. The theft was discovered Wednesday morning at the Porter County PACT office, which operates programs for prisoners, ex-offenders, victims and witnesses.

A judge had ordered Klinkman to undergo programs through PACT because of an earlier drug possession charge. [..]

“He’d been in a few hours before and gave a urine sample,” Balon said. “He saw they were testing for a drug he didn’t think they were testing for. He panicked.”‘

‘Americans are living longer than ever, but not as long as people in 41 other countries.

For decades, the United States has been slipping in international rankings of life expectancy, as other countries improve health care, nutrition and lifestyles.

Countries that surpass the U.S. include Japan and most of Europe, as well as Jordan, Guam and the Cayman Islands.

“Something’s wrong here when one of the richest countries in the world, the one that spends the most on health care, is not able to keep up with other countries,” said Dr. Christopher Murray, head of the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation at the University of Washington.’

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‘Do you love Harry Potter, but think you’re too old and too awesome to be seen reading the books?

We have the solution, my friend. Print these out and you can safely read your Potter in front of all those ex Navy SEALS at the local strip club.’

I think I might have to start disguising my books as “Memories of a Shark Fucker”. :)

‘A five-year-old boy is being treated in hospital after using a park slide smeared with a mixture of caustic soda and shampoo in Dysart, near Kirkcaldy.

He suffered extensive burns on his legs and bottom and is in Edinburgh’s Royal Hospital for Sick Children.

Three other youngsters had to undergo medical checks for similar, but not so serious, injuries.

It is believed the boy and his friends found the substance in a litter bin and rubbed it on the slide themselves.’

‘A Monessen High School teacher resigned after winning a date with a porn star during a satellite radio contest.

The school board voted to accept Jaison Biagini’s resignation on Tuesday.

While listening to the “Bubba the Love Sponge” radio show on Sirius satellite radio, Mr. Biagini won the trip last month to St. Petersburg, Fla., to meet with porn star Akira.

Mr. Biagini, who uses a wheelchair, was interviewed on the radio show after returning home. He said that he was ridiculed for his disability and offended by how he was portrayed on the show. He also expressed concerns about his teaching job. [..]

Mr. Biagini, who taught art for 14 years at the school, said he entered the contest because he wanted to win the free trip and visit the Salvador Dali museum in St. Petersburg. He described the date as being “all fake and staged.”‘

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‘A local woman killed a raccoon with her bare hands Thursday when the animal attacked a young boy.

Officials with Cheshire animal control say the woman was walking in the woods around 11 a.m. with a group of children when the animal bit the 5-year-old son of a friend. She pulled the raccoon off the child, told the children to run home and strangled the animal, authorities said.

The carcass was taken to a state laboratory in Hartford where it tested positive for rabies.’

‘It’s safe to go back into the waters off Britain — reports of a man-eating shark that have made front page headlines were just a great white lie.

British newspapers reported Thursday that stories they had eagerly followed in recent weeks about sightings of a killer Great White shark lurking in the waters off Cornwall, southwest England, had in fact been made up.

Doorman Kevin Keeble sparked the media feeding frenzy when he sent pictures to his local paper of a shark he photographed during a fishing trip to South Africa, jokingly claiming the photo was taken near the British surfing resort of Newquay.

“I didn’t expect anyone would be daft enough to take it seriously,” newspapers quoted him as saying. “I can’t believe the story went so big.”‘

‘A painkiller used by 60,000 Australians has been ordered off the shelves after the deaths of two people.

The Therapeutic Goods Administration yesterday announced the urgent recall of the drug Prexige, used to treat osteoarthritis and acute pain. Patients using the drug, also known by its chemical name lumiracoxib, are advised to stop taking it immediately and ask their doctor for an alternative prescription.

The TGA made the decision after receiving reports of eight people who suffered serious liver reactions, including two deaths and two liver transplants. Six of the reports occurred since the beginning of July.’

‘It has become increasingly popular to speak of racial and ethnic diversity as a civic strength. From multicultural festivals to pronouncements from political leaders, the message is the same: our differences make us stronger.

But a massive new study, based on detailed interviews of nearly 30,000 people across America, has concluded just the opposite. Harvard political scientist Robert Putnam — famous for “Bowling Alone,” his 2000 book on declining civic engagement — has found that the greater the diversity in a community, the fewer people vote and the less they volunteer, the less they give to charity and work on community projects. In the most diverse communities, neighbors trust one another about half as much as they do in the most homogenous settings. The study, the largest ever on civic engagement in America, found that virtually all measures of civic health are lower in more diverse settings.

“The extent of the effect is shocking,” says Scott Page, a University of Michigan political scientist.’

It seems in 1994 Dick Cheney actually talked sense.

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‘An alcoholic nine-year-old boy who waged a two-year crime spree, including car theft, has become Victoria’s youngest prisoner.

The pint-sized menace was locked up in a secure welfare unit this week as authorities attempt to cure him of alcoholism and stop him committing crimes.

The State Government will be asked to explain how the boy was able to carry out his crime spree and descend into a booze battle without welfare authorities stepping in.

The boy, who began offending at the age of seven, came to police notice 35 times in two years, but he could not be charged because of his age.’

‘Tom Rogers, a retired Indianapolis detective, toils away most days in his suburban home office reviewing sexual Web sites and other Internet traffic to see whether they qualify as obscene material whose purveyors should be prosecuted by the Justice Department. [..]

The grant, about $150,000 a year, has helped pay for Mr. Rogers and another retired law enforcement officer in Reno, Nev., to harvest and review complaints about obscene matter on the Internet that citizens register on the Justice Department Web site.

In the last few years, 67,000 citizens’ complaints have been deemed legitimate under the program and passed on to the Justice Department and federal prosecutors.

The number of prosecutions resulting from those referrals is zero.’

‘I’m starting to gather a reputation as a fairly self-sufficient guy. Of course there’s the homebrewing, the woodworking, the gardening, and yes, we’re thinking of getting some chickens. So I was not really surprised when my sisters got me a book on home meat-curing for my birthday, the simply, yet fancily-named Charcuterie. Beyond its appeal as a potential source of deliciousness, the book is stuffed full of great pencil drawings of one of my favorite subjects: meat preparation. Sausage, Prosciutto, Jamon Serrano, Saucisson Sec, and that staple of every Iowan’s diet, sweet, sweet bacon. Home-made bacon. Made … at home. By you. Holy. F-ing. Shit.’

‘The 2007 Miles Franklin Award winner will be among hundreds of books no longer stocked by Australia’s biggest bookstore chain, Angus & Robertson, from the end of next week.

Tower Books, which distributes Alexis Wright’s novel Carpentaria, is among the smaller Australian distributors and publishers which have received a letter from A&R demanding a payment if they want their books to be sold by the company’s 180 bookstores around the country.

The letter from A&R Whitcoulls Group’s commercial manager, Charlie Rimmer, said “over 40 per cent of our supplier agreements fall below our requirements in terms of profit earned” and “invites” recipients to pay amounts said to range between $2500 and $20,000 by August 17.’

The response letter from Tower Books is absolutely hilarious.

‘In one fell swoop this big guy ruins summer for everyone.’

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‘A man accused of having sex with a goat is scheduled to be arraigned on Friday on a animal cruelty charge. Charging papers say a witness saw 63-year-old Arthur Lawton having sex with a goat May 8th in a barn at Eatonville’s Pioneer Farm Museum where he worked.

Lawton said he was trying to milk the goat. [..]

He’s the second person charged in the county since the Legislature made bestiality a crime in response to the fatal injury to a man having sex with a horse in Enumclaw.’

Followup to Mr Hands.

‘A megachurch canceled a memorial service for a Navy veteran 24 hours before it was to start because the deceased was gay. [..]

“It’s a slap in the face. It’s like, ‘Oh, we’re sorry he died, but he’s gay so we can’t help you,'” she said Friday.

Wright said High Point offered to hold the service for Sinclair because their brother is a janitor there. Sinclair, who served in the first Gulf War, died Monday at age 46 from an infection after surgery to prepare him for a heart transplant.

The church’s pastor, the Rev. Gary Simons, said no one knew Sinclair, who was not a church member, was gay until the day before the Thursday service, when staff members putting together his video tribute saw pictures of men “engaging in clear affection, kissing and embracing.” [..]

“We did decline to host the service — not based on hatred, not based on discrimination, but based on principle,” Simons told The Associated Press. “Had we known it on the day they first spoke about it — yes, we would have declined then. It’s not that we didn’t love the family.”‘

Here’s a comic book from 1987. Nobody can beat Chuck Norris, not even ninjas.

‘Next time think twice before you threaten a bunch of kids!’

‘A Morgantown man, his mother and his friend are suing McDonald’s for $10 million.

The man says he bit into a hamburger and had a severe allergic reaction to the cheese melted on it.

Jeromy Jackson, who is in his early 20s, says he clearly ordered two Quarter Pounders without cheese at the McDonald’s restaurant in Star City before heading to Clarksburg.

His mother Trela Jackson and friend Andrew Ellifritz are parties to the lawsuit because they say they risked their lives rushing Jeromy to United Hospital Center in Clarksburg.

The lawsuit alleges Jeromy “was only moments from death” or serious injury by the time he reached the hospital.’

‘Explorer Colonel John Blashford-Snell has had close encounters with vampire bats and angry bees, but his latest brush has been with a rather odd dog.

He spotted a rare breed of Double-Nosed Andean tiger hound, which has two noses, on a recent trip to Bolivia. [..]

He said: “While we were there, sitting by the fire one night, I saw an extraordinary-looking dog that appeared to have two noses.

“I was sober at the time, and then I remembered the story that the legendary explorer Colonel Percy Fawcett came back with in 1913 of seeing such strange dogs in the Amazon jungle.

“Nobody believed him, they laughed him out of court.”‘