moonbuggy

This model stacks it twice, and the anchor can’t stop laughing about it.

It’s an amusing kinda fall. :)

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‘A man stopped for drink driving was found to be wearing nothing behind the wheel except his shoes and socks. [..]

He stalled and his car lurched forward, bumping their vehicle. Officers then discovered he was almost naked. [..]

A spokesman for the Crown Prosecution Service said: “His trousers and top were stuffed into the footwell of the car.

“The passengers in the rear of the car were not apparently aware that he was naked.

“It seems they saw him get out to relieve himself and were unaware that when he got back in the car it was without his clothes on.” [..]

It is understood he never explained why he was driving almost naked.’

‘A young mother, carrying her 3-month-old infant in her arms, visited a construction site Wednesday only to have a nail fired from a pneumatic nailing gun ricochet off a board into the infant’s head.

The infant was rushed to Delta Memorial Hospital, then flown Wednesday night to St. Mary’s Hospital in Grand Junction for surgery. The infant’s condition is unknown.

Delta police chief Rich Bacher said that the initial investigation shows “this appears to be a very tragic accident.” He said the investigation is continuing “until we know all the facts.”‘

‘The story is about a boy who lives in a cupboard (i.e. “in the closet”). His Aunt and Uncle are ashamed of him because his parents were quite eccentric (i.e. “flaming”) and they are deeply concerned and afraid that he will turn out just like them. On his 11th birthday (i.e. roughly at the onset of puberty), the boy discovers that he is actually a “wizard”, different in both style and substance from normal people, or “muggles” (i.e. “breeders”). The boy is groomed into his new existence by a large, hairy bear of a man who shows Harry a hidden underground community of “wizards” living right under the noses of the general population (i.e. the gay subculture). Harry’s first trip to this subculture involves traveling through “Diagon Alley”, a play on the word diagonally (i.e. not straight).’

‘Modesto police have arrested a man and a woman on felony charges of child endangerment after discovering that a “mini-horse” lived in their home’s kitchen and dining room, which were covered with trash and feces.

An animal control officer visited the one-story house at 1233 College Court on Monday after neighbors told police about the horse and seven dogs kept in the back yard. Joe Curtis Silva, 30, denied having a horse in the house, but the officer saw Silva trying to load the animal into a vehicle and called for more officers to investigate, police said.

“The conditions were horrendous,” said John Bear, animal control supervisor for the Modesto police. “This miniature horse had been housed indoors for I’m guessing a good length of time by the amount of animal waste that was built up inside the house.”‘

..and zinc and salt and ammonium nitrate.

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‘A 22-year-old man whose truck broke down Tuesday afternoon along Route 309 in West Rockhill Township grabbed a pistol from the vehicle, apologized to his brother, who was with him, and shot himself in the head, police said. [..]

Philippi and his brother were returning home from work when their truck broke down, police said. The shooting happened about 3 p.m.

Chief David Mettin of Pennridge Regional police, which patrols that area, said the man had been dealing with ”mental health issues” stemming from the recent death of a loved one.

”It seems to me, that was like the final straw for this gentleman,” Mettin said.’

‘Shoppers often choose meat out of the grocery case based on how fresh it looks, but meatpackers have started packaging fresh meat in a “modified atmosphere” that masks telltale discoloration and decomposition of days-old meat. The process involves pumping oxygen out of and carbon monoxide into an airtight container. The deception has occasioned numerous protests from consumer groups.

A U.S. Food and Drug Administration regulation specifically bans using carbon monoxide for packaging fresh meat. But meatpacking companies won exemptions from the rule when they petitioned the FDA in 2001, 2004, and 2005 to declare the gas itself “generally recognized as safe,” and the practice continues to spread. Democratic members of Congress pressed FDA Commissioner Dr. Andrew von Eschenbach last year to establish whether masking “the degradation of meat” is a “danger to public health,” but the agency stonewalled. [..]’

‘A mayor in eastern Germany has filed charges against workers at his local zoo for shooting animals and selling them as meat.

A spokeswoman for the mayor’s office said deer were among the animals killed and sold by workers at Erfurt Zoo without permission over a number of years. [..]

“We are worried this is only the tip of the iceberg,” said Wolfgang Apel, president of the League, who also said the case raised serious questions about the zoo’s management.

Die Zeit newspaper quoted an anonymous zoo employee as saying the number of animals had been declining and: “It is high time something is done about it.”‘

‘Emergency workers labored through the night to rescue an ailing 500-pound man who was stranded on a stretch of the St. Croix River so shallow that rescue vehicles – including a hovercraft – were unable to approach. [..]

Rike and three friends were floating down the river Monday afternoon when Rike’s tube hit a rock and deflated, said Chief Deputy Steve Ovick of the Pine County Sheriff’s Office in Minnesota. [..]

Rike’s group called 911 shortly after 8 p.m. to report that he was ill. A paramedic who arrived by helicopter stabilized Rike, but the pilot couldn’t take him to a hospital.

“The aircraft that found him said they could not lift that amount of weight,” Ovick said.

As many as 50 rescuers on the ground eventually responded, with the first reaching Rike about 9 p.m.’

‘We get to see a lot of new products and services at TechCrunch, many of them bad; usually it’s a case that they won’t get a run. Then there are those that are so bad they a worthy of mention. Crunchgear’s John Biggs summed it up well in an email to me (see their very brief coverage here): “I was so disgusted that I couldn’t write anymore”. 3D Mailbox has also received attention from the press; Michael Parsons at The Times Online described 3D Mailbox as “The worst software application I have ever seen…a waste of valuable processing power,” Richard Bartle in the Guardian notes “When I first saw the trailer, I thought it was a parody.” Sadly Richard, it’s not.’

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‘A 38-year-old man was arrested after he called 911 and told a dispatcher he was surrounded by police officers and needed help, authorities said.

Police officers met Dana Farrell Shelton after being called to investigate a disturbance at a bar on Sunday but had found no problems and told him to move along.

Shelton, who officers said appeared intoxicated, then called 911 to report he was “surrounded by Largo police,” according to an arrest affidavit.
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“Our officers were standing there scratching their heads. He called, standing there in their presence,” Largo Sgt. Melanie Holley said. “It’s one of our ‘truth is stranger than fiction’ cases.”

Shelton was charged with misdemeanor misuse of 911. The charge carries maximum penalties of one year in jail and $1,000 in fines.’

‘A TV report earlier this month that purportedly showed a Beijing seller using softened chopped cardboard as the main ingredient in steamed buns has been dismissed as false news.

The Beijing municipal government said last night that investigations had found an employee surnamed Zi with Beijing Television fabricated and directed the sensational program for higher audience ratings. Zi is being held under criminal custody. [..]

The report said 60 percent of the bun’s ingredients were chopped cardboard that had been soaked in caustic soda. Pork flavor and fatty meat were added to the cardboard, it claimed. [..]

However, the government announcement said that Zi had provided all the cardboard and asked the vendor to soak it. “It’s all cheating,” it said.’

Followup to Chinese food ‘made from cardboard’.

‘The rotting cadaver of a dead whale was floating in a west coast fjord on Wednesday, sending a foul odor over the area while officials worried it could explode at any time.

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it an explosion, but it can be like an enormous fart,” said Tore Haug of the Norwegian Marine Research Institute in Bergen.

He warned emergency crews trying to tow the cadaver out of the fjord that gases built up in the dead whale’s stomach could cause a blowout.

“It would be quite unpleasant if the stomach blows up,” Haug told web site bt.no. “It’s not very nice to have rotten whale parts showering over you.”‘

‘A woman who hates spiders is crediting them with helping save her from a house fire. Danielle Vigue, 18, says she awoke early Tuesday to find spiders in her room, and started killing them. When more showed up, she says she went across the hall and got into bed with her 15-year-old sister, Lauren.

“At first there were five, they were all around the light fixture,” Danielle Vigue told The Saginaw News. “I hate spiders, they freak me out.” [..]

A few hours later, Vigue’s 48-year-old mother, Debra, and 8-year-old sister, Shelby, smelled smoke, and flames greeted the family when they opened the door to the room Danielle Vigue had earlier left.

“I will never kill another spider again,” she told WNEM-TV in Saginaw.’

Hooray for conviction, I s’pose. :)

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‘A mother who planned to eat her placenta will have it returned to her by a hospital following a court order.

Sunrise Hospital and Medical Centre had refused to give Ms Swanson her placenta following the caesarian birth of her daughter because it was classified as contaminated biohazardous waste, Associated Press reported.

Ms Swanson initially wanted to have her placenta dried, ground into a power and packed into capsules she believes the theory that placental hormones can help control postnatal depression.

Instead of eating it, she now plans to store and eventually bury it.

“I hope this brings about a better awareness about the benefits of placenta,” Ms Swanon said. ‘

‘A 55-year-old Port Orange woman who said she killed her neighbors because their “green mothball cookies” made her sick was found not guilty of murder by reason of insanity, according to a judge. [..]

A short time after the shooting, Anderson was taken into custody and charged with first-degree murder.

During questioning, Anderson told police, “I didn’t see any blood or bullet holes in their clothing. …They are over there watching TV aren’t they? I was shooting blanks.”

Anderson also said, “They make me cookies with green mothballs in them and I get sick.’

‘The Braintree Fire Department is investigating how a firefighter training exercise ended up tearing apart the wrong house.

NewsCenter 5’s Rhondella Richardson reported that a Braintree family invited the fire department to conduct a training exercise at their home that was slated to be torn down. But instead of going to 6 Harrison Ave., firefighters ended up a few blocks away at 30 Coolidge Ave. [..]

The firefighters were practicing ventilating burning buildings by tearing holes in the roof.

After waiting for the fire department to arrive, contractors ended up demolishing the Harrison Avenue home.’

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‘Drug users in the desert town of Alice Springs have started injecting illegal adrenaline, prompting police to warn “the new speed” could have fatal consequences.

The drug, normally used by medics to treat people suffering extreme asthma attacks or allergic reactions, is being sold on the streets in glass containers with blue stoppers. [..]

“This new recreational drug has the potential to cause death in some people,” Detective Murphy said.

“Adrenaline is usually only used in cases of extreme emergency for such things as severe allergic reactions or during acute asthma attacks for breathing difficulties.’

‘Welcome to Random Acts Of Reality, a Blog based in London, England, written by an E.M.T working for the London Ambulance Service. Also, number one search result for “Womble porn”. All names have be changed to protect the guilty. This Blog was previously known as “Why I Hate Humanity” but the antipsychotic medication seems to have kicked in.’

There’s also a book out, under Creative Commons license, that you can download for free. It’s called Blood, Sweat and Tea.

‘Wearing his gold-framed glasses and gold headphones and sipping from his gold-rimmed cup yesterday, veteran broadcaster John Laws was down one vital glistening item – his golden mike.

Police are treating as suspicious the disappearance from his production office of the $10,000 nine carat gold microphone presented to Lawsie in 2003 as a gift from 2UE management for his 50th year on the airwaves.

It is a one-off German Sennheiser, serial number JL 0001.

Laws has been using another golden microphone, given to him for his 40th anniversary, since the brazen bandit looted the king of his prized instrument. “I’m very upset about it. It’s been part of my life,” Laws said yesterday.’

‘Live rats are being trucked from central China, suffering a plague of a reported two billion rodents displaced by a flooded lake, to the south of the of country to end up in restaurant dishes, Chinese media reported.

“Recently there have been a lot of rats … Guangzhou people are rich and like to eat exotic things, so business is very good,” the China News Service quoted a vendor as saying, referring to the capital of Guangdong province.

Some vendors had asked people from a village in Hunan province, near Dongting Lake, to sell them live rats, the Beijing News said today.

“The buyers offered 6 yuan for a kilo, but as to where they will sell the rats, they would not say,” the newspaper quoted a local resident as saying, adding that villagers had to catch the rats live.’

‘A startling sight greeted a Fredericksburg woman when she returned home from picking up a newspaper early Thursday, police said. A man she didn’t know was sitting on her toilet.

The man had apparently entered her home in the 300 block of Germania Street by cutting a screen and unlocking the door, police said.

City police spokeswoman Natatia Bledsoe said the incident occurred about 5:30 a.m. The resident, who is in her 80s, had left the home for a brief time to get a paper. On her way to get the paper, Bledsoe said, the woman saw the man hanging out on the street. She had never seen him before that.

When she got home, she noticed that the bathroom door was closed. She opened the door and the man was sitting there.

Bledsoe said the woman asked the man a couple of questions, including “How long are you going to be?” but didn’t understand the man’s response because it was in Spanish.’

‘What do red necks do when they get bored on hot summer days? One classic way to kill a lazy day is to build a ramp and jump your car on it, this actually is damn cool. The Dukes of Hazard would be proud.’

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‘Predictably, I slid in with ease. She was a little tense at first, but with an Exxon Valdez size load spilled into her poop chute, she quickly loosened up and got into it. I liked it also; it had a different feel to it. Not as good as vaginal sex, a little grainy, kinda tight, but still very nice.

Before I knew it I was fucking her like the apocalypse was imminent, burying it to the hilt with impunity. After a few minutes I was ready to come. My urgency was expressed in my tempo, and I began really jackhammering her. As the excitement got the best of me, I pulled out too far and my dick came out of her ass. I kinda scrambled to grab my dick and put it back in so I could finish off inside of her, but before I could even get a hold of it and put it back in her ass, I heard a faint “psssst” sound and felt something wet and warm hit my crotch.’

‘Volcanic activity on the ‘bald mountain’ towering over St Pierre, Martinique, was usually so inconsequential that no one took seriously the fresh steaming vent-holes and earth tremors during April, 1902. By early May, however, ash began to rain down continuously, and the nauseating stench of sulphur filled the air. Their homes on the mountainside made uninhabitable, more than 100 fer-de-lance snakes slithered down and invaded the mulatto quarter of St Pierre. The 6-ft long serpents killed 50 people and innumerable animals before they were finally destroyed by the town’s giant street cats. But the annihilation had only begun. On May 5, a landslide of boiling mud spilled into the sea, followed by a tsunami that killed hundreds and, three days later, May 8, Mt Pelee finally exploded, sending a murderous avalanche of white-hot lava straight toward the town. Within three minutes St Pierre was completely obliterated. Of its 30,000 population, there were only two survivors.’

‘The Gippsland floods in Victoria’s south-east have triggered an explosion in the the birth rate – of the spider population.

Local residents have reported an unusually high number of spiders taking up residence in their homes.

Senior curator of spiders at Queensland Museum, Robert Raven, said the recent heavy drought-breaking rains had led to abnormally high spider hatchings.

“They have been hanging around waiting for this change in moisture level because things have been dry,” Mr Raven told Southern Cross Broadcasting.’

‘A round-the-clock television channel devoted exclusively to ageing, dying and death is to be launched in Germany.

Eos TV will feature documentaries about graveyards, televised obituaries, tips on finding a decent retirement home and even how to install in-house stair lifts.

Wolf Tilmann Schneider, 51, a former TV producer, has joined forces with Germany’s funeral association to launch the 24-hour, seven days a week channel on cable television and the internet. [..]

“It may come as a surprise, but older people really enjoy visiting cemeteries – not just to mourn, but for their peace and quiet,” Mr Schneider said.’