‘”Without oil, at least four billion people would starve. This spiral of trouble would make the oil infrastructure utterly useless” — unless their bodies could be turned into fuel.
That was the satirical message delivered by two corporate ethics activists to the Gas and Oil Exposition 2007 in Calgary, Alberta. The activists, part of political trickster collective the Yes Men, used the Exposition to stage their latest theatre of corporate absurdity, with Exxon/Mobil and the Natural Petroleum Council playing the fools.
The prank, intended as a critique of the fossil fuel industry’s influence on energy policy, caused confusion and consternation on the final day of the Exposition, one of the industry’s largest gatherings.’
‘Four lesbians convicted of assaulting a man who was stabbed after he made advances toward one of them were sentenced Thursday amid screams and weeping to prison terms ranging from 3 1/2 to 11 years.
More than two dozen court officers ringed the courtroom as Manhattan state Supreme Court Justice Edward McLaughlin pronounced the sentences, which were usually punctuated by a moan, a wail or a comment of disbelief. [..]
The judge sentenced Patreese Johnson, 20, to 11 years in prison. Johnson admitted she had a knife and is seen on the videotape swinging it at the victim, Dwayne Buckle, who has called the incident “a hate crime against a straight man.”‘
‘More than 450 people, including young children, have been freed from slavery in Chinese brick factories and mines but hundreds of others are believed to still be trapped, police said Friday.
In a crackdown that has laid bare a shocking underworld of human trafficking and slave labour, police in two provinces in northern and central China said the workers were freed after raids over the past week on hundreds of brick factories and small coal mines.
Various media reports have described freed workers, some as young as eight, as having been beaten, nearly starved and forced to work extraordinary long hours under appalling and dangerous conditions.
“So far, we have rescued more than 200 people including over 40 children,” an official with the Henan provincial public security department, who gave only his surname of Dang, told AFP by phone.
“They were abducted and sold to brick kilns in Shanxi and Henan provinces.”‘
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The car appears empty. But none the less it managed to steer right past the cameraman. Not quite sure, really.
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‘A woman who had not cut her hair in 43 years had it destroyed in a freak gardening accident.
The 57-year-old got her 3ft locks entangled in a hedge trimmer which knocked her out.
Firefighters called to her rural home in Henfield, West Sussex, realised they would have to chop off her hair to free it from the machine.
The woman, who has not been named, pleaded with them for an hour not to snip the hair — which had been growing since she was at school.
A fire brigade spokesman yesterday said: “She was traumatised.”‘
‘Police in Punta Gorda say a young man and woman were having sex on a crane in the middle of downtown. Police say the couple climbed more than 100 feet to get on top of the crane to take pictures when one thing apparently led to another.
The crane at the downtown Punta Gorda construction site has been there for some time. It’s becoming a landmark. But that seems to more true for some than others.
While on patrol, a Punta Gorda police officer got a call about some type of action on the crane. The officer noticed someone not wearing a shirt behind a banner and then a second person popped out.
“Both were unclothed,” said the officer. “Basically had to order them over the public address system to dress and come down.”‘
‘Poachers have shot the last two white rhinos in Zambia, killing one and wounding the other, in a night operation at the Mosi-Oa-Tunya national park in Livingstone, an official said today.
The shooting of the two endangered animals in a heavily-guarded zoological park near Victoria Falls in Zambia’s tourist resort town of Livingstone took place last week.
“I can confirm that one of the white rhinos was shot dead by suspected poachers. The other one was wounded and is undergoing treatment,” said Maureen Mwape, spokesperson of the Zambia Wildlife Authority, which would be investigating the shooting.
The dead female rhino’s horn was apparently removed.’
‘There was the Miami Vice bandit, the Fanny Pack bandit, even the Band-Aid bandit – all named for memorable outfits or unique characteristics that bank tellers recalled after the holdup.
Now police are looking for a robber named for his smell: the “Landscape bandit.”
“He smells like dirt – that’s what people always remember,” said Anaheim police Sgt. Tim Schmidt. “It’s not like he hasn’t bathed in month. It’s just he’s been outside working in the dirt.”
The man, who wears a wide-brimmed hat, has robbed three banks in Southern California since April and two out of three tellers mentioned his distinctive odor to investigators.’
‘The Army spends more feeding its dogs than its soldiers, it has been claimed.
Figures obtained by a Tory MP show that £1.51 a day goes on meals for troops, compared with £2.63 for military dogs.
Even prisoners – who cost £1.87 a day to feed – fare better than servicemen. Schoolchildren get £1.55 for lunch alone.
The MP, Mike Penning, is to raise the issue in the House of Commons today. The former Grenadier Guard said troops serving in war zones such as Iraq were being denied decent meals.
And he claimed that U.S. troops are given high-quality meat while British soldiers make do with cheap sausages and chips.’
Running on a treadmill and eating cookies. Harder than it sounds. :)
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‘An elementary school science teacher in this Chicago suburb doesn’t have to turn on the news for an update on NASA’s space mission. She just turns on her video baby monitor.
Since Sunday, one of the two channels on Natalie Meilinger’s baby monitor has been picking up black-and-white video from inside the space shuttle Atlantis. The other still lets her keep an eye on her baby.
“Whoever has a baby monitor knows what you’ll usually see,” Meilinger said. “No one would ever expect this.”
Live video of the mission is available on NASA’s Web site, so it’s possible the monitor is picking up a signal from somewhere.’
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‘A man who spent five years in jail for exposing sexual partners to HIV was sentenced to life in prison for knowingly exposing another woman to the virus.
Sean L. Sykes, 33, was sentenced Tuesday. He was found guilty in May of having unprotected sex with a St. Joseph woman without telling her he was HIV-positive. Testimony at his trial — which was closed to the public to protect witnesses — indicated that he had exposed at least eight women to HIV. At least three have tested positive.
“I think it’s fairly clear he is a very dangerous individual,” Buchanan County Prosecutor Dwight Scroggins said after the sentencing. “If he is not in prison, he would likely continue to spread HIV.”‘
‘Bob Teixeira decided it was time to take a stand against U.S. dependence on foreign oil.
So last fall the Charlotte musician and guitar instructor spent $1,200 to convert his 1981 diesel Mercedes to run on vegetable oil. He bought soybean oil in 5-gallon jugs at Costco, spending about 30 percent more than diesel would cost.
His reward, from a state that heavily promotes alternative fuels: a $1,000 fine last month for not paying motor fuel taxes. He has been told to expect another $1,000 fine from the federal government.
To legally use veggie oil, state officials told him, he would have to first post a $2,500 bond.
Teixeira is one of a growing number of fuel-it-yourselfers — backyard brewers who recycle restaurant grease or make moonshine for their car tanks. They do it to save money, reduce pollution or thumb their noses at oil sheiks.
They’re also caught in a web of little-known state laws that can stifle energy independence.’
‘A new diet promises to slim folks down with sexy results.
The so-called diet book “The Ultimate Sex Diet” (True Courage) requires that lovers engage in sex to burn off the pounds. Author Kerry McCloskey says your partner becomes your nutritionist, psychologist and personal trainer.
There are sexual positions like the “Let’s Get Crazy” position where the legs of the woman are on top of the man’s shoulders. McCloskey says this one tones the man’s arms and the woman’s tummy.
She designed and followed the diet and lost 23 pounds in six months. [..]
At the very worst, she says the diet can make a good pickup line: “I have a new sex diet and I need someone to help me out.”‘
‘CIA and FBI agents hunting for al Qaeda militants in the Horn of Africa have been interrogating terrorism suspects from 19 countries held at secret prisons in Ethiopia, which is notorious for torture and abuse, according to an investigation by The Associated Press.
Human rights groups, lawyers and several Western diplomats assert hundreds of prisoners, who include women and children, have been transferred secretly and illegally in recent months from Kenya and Somalia to Ethiopia, where they are kept without charge or access to lawyers and families.
The detainees include at least one U.S. citizen and some are from Canada, Sweden and France, according to a list compiled by a Kenyan Muslim rights group and flight manifests obtained by AP.’
‘Russian men are risking death by drinking aftershave and cleaning agents, a study has suggested.
UK researchers estimated that half of all deaths in working age men in the country are due to hazardous drinking.
The products, which also include herbal tinctures sold in pharmacies, are widely available, cheap and contain up to 97% alcohol, the Lancet study says.
It was found that they contain very few toxins but are deadly simply because of the extreme alcohol levels.
Russian men have an “exceptionally low” life expectancy of 59 years, compared with 72 years for women.’
‘A judge has ruled that a 24-year-old Canadian man is not allowed to have a girlfriend for the next three years.
The ruling came after Steven Cranley pleaded guilty on Tuesday to several charges stemming from an assault on a former girlfriend.
Cranley, who has been diagnosed with a dependent personality disorder, attacked his girlfriend in an argument after their breakup.
He tried to prevent her from phoning the police by cutting her phone cord and punched and kicked her. He finally stabbed himself with a butcher knife when police did arrive, puncturing his aorta.
Doctors say Cranley has difficulty coping with rejection and runs a high risk to re-offend if he becomes involved in another intimate relationship.’
‘A flood-isolated Australian town was in danger of running out of beer this week until emergency volunteers came to their rescue.
Residents of Hinton, New South Wales, were stranded following the severe storms that hit the region on Sunday.
There was concern that their pub would run dry before a rugby league match which was due to be played between New South Wales and Queensland.
But the State Emergency Services boated in a huge beer delivery just in time.’
‘A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend’s testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.
Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.
She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: “That’s yours.”
Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years.
Sentencing Monti, Judge Charles James said it was “a very serious injury” and that Monti was not acting in self defence.’
Followup to Ex rips off man’s testicle.
‘A friend of mine happened to live in a students’ flat where such a thing happened: the landlord basically made them cram a bunch of stuff, which usually was in the main hallway, into a room that was too small for it, while in the same flat three rooms were completely empty, but locked. Luckily, the guy could lockpick his way into a room, but he asked me for a way to be able to re-lock it without the key and without anything suspicious being visible from the outside.
After some brainstorming, we came up with a James Bond-worthy concept: knock on the door in a certain fashion, and the door’ll open automatically. The idea was perfect: no need to drill holes, sneaky enough so the landlord wouldn’t accidentally trigger it, easy enough to remember.’
‘Gekisen is a game with limitless posibilities and strategic depth that will challenge your mental and decision making skills.’
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‘Two American teenage girls were ordered off a city bus in Portland, Oregon, by the driver who called them “sickos” because they exchanged a kiss.
The girls, aged 14, said they were kicked off the TriMet bus on Monday after they exchanged a kiss as they travelled home from school.
After another passenger complained, the driver called them “sickos” and told them to “knock it off”, US media reported.
One of the girls told television station KTVZ that her friend was upset by the driver so she gave her a hug.
The driver then ordered them off the bus.’
It looks like one of the boats was trying to show off and go for a splash through the wake of another.
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‘for the purposes of this project, we’re using a pretty broad (and to some extent, arbitrary) definition of “passive-aggressive” that roughly correlates with how the term is popularly used. (most people don’t go diving for the dsm IV when someone describes his or her roommate as “so passive-aggressive” — or “so antisocial” or “so sadistic” or “so schizo,” for that matter.)
truly, some of the notes found here aren’t really passive-aggressive even by our generous standards. some are really more aggressive in tone, and some of them are more passive — polite, even – but they all share a common sense of frustration that’s been channeled into written form rather than a direct confrontation.’
‘A Philadelphia reporter is fighting back against a man who made her private life — including her underwear drawer — public. [..]
Comedian Danny Ozark then snuck away and rifled through Cahn’s underwear drawer and later talked about the experience on a Philadelphia radio station. [..]
“After telling our viewers to stand up for themselves and fight back, I didn’t think I could just sit around without calling out the guy who rummaged through my underwear drawer,” said Cahn.
So Cahn and a camera crew went to the apartment Ozark shares with his father, Arthur Goldman.
Goldman let them in, and apologized for his son’s actions.
“That was in bad taste. I feel bad about that,” Goldman told them.’
‘A 17-year-old Livermore boy was seriously injured Monday night in Mt. Diablo State Park when he tried to fake a fall for a camera and then actually fell 75 feet onto rocks, a park ranger said Tuesday.
The teenager was on Sentinel Rock, a vertical formation near Rock City popular for its views, when he moved outside the handrail, lost his footing and fell into a crevice and became wedged between rocks, San Ramon Valley Fire District Battalion Chief Mike Brown said.
Friends of the boy, who is hospitalized with multiple traumatic injuries, told rescuers he had been trying to stage a photo of a fake fall for a MySpace Web site when he slipped and fell for real, said Dan Stefanisko, supervising ranger at Mt. Diablo State Park.’
‘A 14-year-old boy was arrested after dialing a wrong number and offering to sell drugs to the person on the other end — who happened to be a police detective.
After the call, Gulfport detective Matt Parks arranged to meet the teen in the parking lot of a school to buy an ounce of marijuana and some crack cocaine, a police report said. When the boy showed up, he was arrested on charges of possession of 18 grams of marijuana with intent to distribute within 1,000 feet of a school. [..]
Parks’ phone number is unlisted, and there were no similar phone numbers found in the boy’s cell phone, police said. Detectives said the boy, whose name was not released, likely dialed a random number to try to drum up new business.’
Steve Schirripa from the Sopranos has some advice for Paris Hilton.
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