‘Boris Yeltsin was always good for a laugh, which is probably why on the occasion of his death people outside of Russia are not calling him words like scum and monster, but instead recalling him fondly, with a smile, as one would a retarded nephew who could always be counted on to pull his pants down at Thanksgiving dinner. [..]
He’s been on the verge of death so many times…His doctors themselves are in shock that he’s still alive. Half the blood vessels in his brain are about to burst after his strokes, his intestines are spotted all over with holes, he has giant ulcers in his stomach, his heart is in absolutely disgusting condition, he is literally rotting…He could die from any one of dozens of physical problems that he has, but contrary to all laws of nature — he lives.’
‘It’s got suicide bombers, political kidnaps and intercontinental war. It’s got filthy propaganda, rampant paranoia and secret treaties…
… and the Axis of Evil is a spinner in the middle of the board. You can fight terrorism, you can fund terrorism, you can even be the terrorists. The only thing that matters is global domination – err, liberation.’
‘As a rule, processed foods are more “energy dense” than fresh foods: they contain less water and fiber but more added fat and sugar, which makes them both less filling and more fattening. These particular calories also happen to be the least healthful ones in the marketplace, which is why we call the foods that contain them “junk.” Drewnowski concluded that the rules of the food game in America are organized in such a way that if you are eating on a budget, the most rational economic strategy is to eat badly — and get fat.’
‘A 12-year-old Brooklyn boy is clinging to life after being impaled in the head with a stick, and police have charged an 11-year-old with the vicious attack.
The victim, Stevenson Celius, was rushed to Kings County Hospital on Thursday evening when police say two inches of a wooden stick was lodged into his brain. His family says the attack happened when the boy went to the store to buy candy. The suspect, an 11-year-old classmate of his, demanded his change and when he refused, a chase ensued.
Stevenson made it as far as the vestibule of his building before the brutal attack occurred.’
‘After a long ball game this guy passed out in the parking lot, in the drivers seat, with the engine on, with his foot pressed firmly on the gas pedal. When a couple of strangers happen by they find an engine that is very close to blowing up and one moronic drunk out cold.’
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‘For the first time astronomers have discovered a planet outside our solar system that is potentially habitable, with Earth-like temperatures, a find researchers described Tuesday as a big step in the search for “life in the universe.”
The planet is just the right size, might have water in liquid form, and in galactic terms is relatively nearby at 120 trillion miles away. But the star it closely orbits, known as a “red dwarf,” is much smaller, dimmer and cooler than our sun.’
‘An owner of an exotic animal farm has died after being kicked and then sat on by a camel.
Cathie Ake and the 4-year-old camel were being filmed by a local television station on Sunday when the camel kicked her and then sat down during a break in filming. The station was doing a story on Mini-Akers Exotic Animals, the 15-acre farm Ake owned with her husband.’
‘This guys friends were sick of having to go outside to take a piss so he created a pressurized urinal that launches the piss directly into the neighbors garden.’
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‘Ryan Lackey wears body armor to business meetings. He flies armed helicopters to client sites. He has a cash flow problem: he is paid in hundred-dollar bills, sometimes shrink-wrapped bricks of them, and flowing this money into a bank is difficult. He even calls some of his company’s transactions “drug deals” – but what Lackey sells is Internet access. From his trailer on Logistics Staging Area Anaconda, a colossal US Army base fifty miles north of Baghdad, Lackey runs Blue Iraq, surely the most surreal ISP on the planet. He is 26 years old.’
‘A man cut off his penis with a knife at a London restaurant on Sunday evening, according to British tabloid The Sun. [..]
According to witnesses, the man ran into the restaurant kitchen, grabbed a knife.
Sales rep Stuart McMahon told The Sun: “This guy came running in then charged into the kitchen, got a massive knife and started waving it about.
“Everyone was screaming and running out as he jumped on a table, dropped his trousers and popped his penis out.
“Then he cut it off. I couldn’t believe it.”‘
‘[..] If you look at history, you can see that there is essentially a blueprint for turning an open society into a dictatorship. That blueprint has been used again and again in more and less bloody, more and less terrifying ways. But it is always effective. It is very difficult and arduous to create and sustain a democracy – but history shows that closing one down is much simpler. You simply have to be willing to take the 10 steps.
As difficult as this is to contemplate, it is clear, if you are willing to look, that each of these 10 steps has already been initiated today in the United States by the Bush administration.’
‘A human rights watchdog group says that two Chinese provinces that have come under fire for forcing Christian women there to have abortions are continuing the campaign. The China Aid Association reports that a total of 61 women and their unborn children became victims of the campaign in Guangxi province.
The group tells LifeNews.com that 41 women were forced to have abortions on Tuesday and another 20 more pregnant women were forcibly aborted on Wednesday.’
‘A Chinese couple sued Yahoo and its Chinese affiliates on Wednesday, alleging the Internet firms provided information that helped the Chinese government prosecute the man for his Internet writings.
Wang Xiaoning was sentenced to ten years in prison last year for “incitement to subvert state power” after he e-mailed electronic journals advocating democratic reform and a multi-party system.
His house and computer were searched in 2002.
In the complaint filed in U.S. District Court for Northern California, Wang and his wife Yu Ling charged the Internet firms turned over details to prosecutors that helped identify him to authorities.’
‘A man fleeing security drowned early Saturday after he leaped over a railing into a moat surrounding a casino, authorities said.
Police said the man, identified as Anthony D. Swopes, 21, of Kansas City, fled while being questioned about his identification at the Isle of Capri casino. A check of the card revealed an outstanding bench warrant. [..]
Moats are common fixtures at Missouri casinos. Casino gambling in the state initially was restricted to floating riverboats, but the state’s constitution was amended to allow riverboat casinos to float within manmade moats.’
‘The technological explosion is even bigger than the mobile phone explosion that preceded it. And, as with mobiles, it is being followed by fears about its effect on health – particularly the health of children. Recent research, which suggests that the worst fears about mobiles are proving to be justified, only heightens concern about the electronic soup in which we are increasingly spending our lives.
Now, as we report today, Sir William Stewart (pictured below right), the man who has issued the most authoritative British warnings about the hazards of mobiles, is becoming worried about the spread of Wi-Fi. The chairman of the Health Protection Agency – and a former chief scientific adviser to the Government – is privately pressing for an official investigation of the risks it may pose.’
‘A guy gets on a local german news program and attempts to read the anchors mind to determine the location of a hidden nail. He should of known better.’
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‘Singer Sheryl Crow has said a ban on using too much toilet paper should be introduced to help the environment.
Crow has suggested using “only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required”.
The 45-year-old, who made the comments on her website, has just toured the US on a biodiesel-powered bus to raise awareness about climate change.’
‘Two teenagers who murdered their friend and buried her body in a shallow grave beneath her West Australian home said they just woke up and decided to do it, a court was told today. [..]
The court was told they strangled the girl with cable in a premeditated and unprovoked attack, 200km southwest of Perth. [..]
“Sunday morning me and (her) woke up, and we were just talking, and for some reason we just decided to kill her,” one of the girls told police in her interview.
Mr Stone said that the girls knew it was wrong to kill.
“(One of them) told police that while she knew it was wrong to kill a person it did not feel wrong at the time,” Mr Stone said.’
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‘A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.’
Regular expressions always confuse me. I see now my problem all along has been not enough vine.
‘Police are searching for two would-be bandits after Postal Annex employees got the giggles and foiled an attempted armed robbery, reported television station KPTV in Portland, Ore. [..]
One of the men had a fold-up knife and was having problems opening it. The employees, thinking the attempted robbery was a hoax, laughed at the would-be robbers, KPTV reported.
The assistant manager, playing along with what she assumed was a joke, picked up the phone and threatened to call 911. As soon as she said the three numbers, the two would-be robbers were gone, the employees said.
“He didn’t have a serious voice to him,” said employee Shelley Martin. “We thought he was kidding, so we were laughing back at him.”
“We just didn’t take them seriously. It was like having your kid brother come up with his cowboy and Indian thing,” said employee Nicole Luedtke.’
‘A Bentonville, Ark., man is seeking $20,000 from the city after his two teenage sons found a book on lesbian sex on a public library bookshelf.
He also wants the library director fired.
Earl Adams said his 14- and 16-year-old sons were “greatly disturbed” after finding the book, titled “The Whole Lesbian Sex Book.” Adams said the book caused “many sleepless nights in our house.”
Adams said the book is “patently offensive and lacks any artistic, literary or scientific value,” according to a letter he faxed to Mayor Bob McCaslin. He said the teenagers found it while browsing for material on military academies.’
‘A Susquenita School District bus driver showed two girls a video clip on a cellular phone of the cartoon character Smurfette performing a sex act on Papa Smurf, state police said.
Tony Lee Campbell, 33, of the 3900 block of Sugar Run Road in Tuscarora Twp., has been charged with misdemeanor counts of corruption of minors, harassment and disseminating obscene materials to minors, records state.
The allegations surfaced when Campbell tried to have middle school officials discipline a 12-year-old girl for leaving the bus against Campbell’s orders, records state.
When Assistant Principal Jeffrey Kuhns asked why she left the bus, the girl said Campbell was a “pervert,” records state.’
‘Seven clusters of cancer and other serious illnesses have been discovered around mobile phone masts, raising concerns over the technology’s potential impact on health.
Studies of the sites show high incidences of cancer, brain haemorrhages and high blood pressure within a radius of 400 yards of mobile phone masts.
One of the studies, in Warwickshire, showed a cluster of 31 cancers around a single street. A quarter of the 30 staff at a special school within sight of the 90ft high mast have developed tumours since 2000, while another quarter have suffered significant health problems.’
‘Russian military pilots have described how they created rain clouds to protect Moscow from radioactive fallout after the Chernobyl nuclear disaster in 1986.
Major Aleksei Grushin repeatedly took to the skies above Chernobyl and Belarus and used artillery shells filled with silver iodide to make rain clouds that would “wash out” radioactive particles drifting towards densely populated cities.
More than 4,000 square miles of Belarus were sacrificed to save the Russian capital from the toxic radioactive material.’
