moonbuggy

Polar bears are pretty smart.

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‘Inmates in South Carolina could soon find that a kidney is worth 180 days.

Lawmakers are considering legislation that would let prisoners donate organs or bone marrow in exchange for time off their sentences.

A state Senate panel on Thursday endorsed creating an organ-and-tissue donation program for inmates. But legislators postponed debate on a measure to reduce the sentences of participating prisoners, citing concern that federal law may not allow it.’

‘Tony Lagouranis doesn’t fit the profile of a person likely to go wrong by following orders. He’s lived a footloose life unconstrained by a desire for professional advancement, for the approval of superiors, even for a comfortable home. A freethinker, he read the great works of Western civilization in college and mastered classical languages. It was his desire to learn Arabic as well that took him to Iraq.

And there, as an army interrogator, he tortured detainees for information he admits they rarely had. Since leaving Iraq he’s taken this story public, doing battle on national television against the war’s architects for giving him the orders he regrets he obeyed.’

‘A man remained in jail Monday after Tampa police say he ripped off a large portion of his girlfriend’s scalp with a 6-inch kitchen knife.

After the Friday attack, 40-year-old Tina D. Robinson was rushed to St. Joseph’s Hospital, where surgeons attempted to reattach her scalp. Hospital officials would not comment on her condition Monday.

Police say Robinson and her 30-year-old boyfriend Jason Eric Tarvin had been drinking Thursday night and were intoxicated when an argument got violent.’

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‘A renowned hedge-fund honcho hatched a heinous revenge plot against his former mistress by posing as her on the Internet – saying she wanted to be kidnapped and raped as part of a sicko sex fantasy, officials said yesterday.

Albert Hsu, 43, a wealthy, married dad of two and former Cub Scout leader, posted his fiendish ad on a hardcore, S&M Web site, Connecticut authorities said.

He allegedly included the woman’s name, photo, address, license-plate number, train schedule to and from work and even the rail car she usually sits in.

“The defendant set the victim up to be abducted and raped by a complete stranger,” prosecutor Ricki Goldstein said in Norwalk, Conn., Superior Court.’

‘It could be a scene from Kafka or Brazil. Imagine a government agency, in a bureaucratic foul-up, accidentally gives you a copy of a document marked “top secret.” And it contains a log of some of your private phone calls.

You read it and ponder it and wonder what it all means. Then, two months later, the FBI shows up at your door, demands the document back and orders you to forget you ever saw it.

By all accounts, that’s what happened to Washington D.C. attorney Wendell Belew in August 2004. [..]’

‘The Government’s financial support for tertiary students was among the most generous in the world and students should be more frugal, Education Minister Julie Bishop said today.

Her comments follow a study that found university students were regularly going without food because they could not afford to eat.

The Australian Vice-Chancellors’ Committee’s 2006 survey found one in eight students (12.5 per cent) regularly went without food or other necessities because they could not afford them.

It also revealed university students were worse off financially last year than they were in 2000, with 70.6 per cent of full-time undergraduates working about 14.8 hours a week to make ends meet.’

‘First you get yourself a quality motor and some burgers. Then you throw the burgers at some muppets head from the roof of the car.’

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‘A 24-year-old man called police to tell them he was trying to break into a church, but he wasn’t having much luck.

Police said the would-be thief’s call prompted them to show up at St. Paul’s Lutheran Church, where they found him waiting. The man told them he had hoped to get married in the church and was trying to use a metal shovel to break through the doors. He told them, if anything, he figured they could help.

Officers search the man and found marijuana. He then invited them to his home, where he told them they would find more drugs.

They did: He showed them his stash of marijuana and stolen prescription drugs.’

‘Since October 2006, 35 per cent or more of the United States’ population of the Western honey bee (Apis mellifera) – billions of individual bees – simply flew from their hive homes and disappeared.

[..] Across the 24 U.S. states affected by the mysterious phenomenon, losses have ranged up to 90 per cent. “I’ve had a couple of yards where I’ve had 200 hives and they’re down to 10 hives that are alive,” says David Bradshaw of Visalia, about 180 kilometres southeast of Los Banos along California’s Route 99.

What’s causing the carnage, however, is a total mystery; all that scientists have come up with so far is a new name for the phenomenon – Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD) – and a list of symptoms.’

‘It might have been one of the easiest drug busts in the history of the South Carolina Highway Patrol: A car with 43 pounds of marijuana crashed into a trooper’s cruiser, authorities said.

The easy bust happened after two patrolmen parked their cars in each lane of northbound Interstate 95 near Santee early Sunday morning following a series of wrecks that had tied up traffic, Highway Patrol Capt. Chris Williamson said.

A Chevrolet Malibu going about 70 mph hit one of the cruisers, causing minor injuries to the trooper behind the wheel, Williamson said.”

Camels can run pretty fast. :)

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‘An 18-year-old man has been detained for repeatedly defecating in front of a cash machine in a bank vestibule in the southern German town of Eggmuehl.

A police spokesman said the man, who left his deposit at the bank eight times, was caught only after the bank installed video monitors to film him in action.’

‘Ok I have this fantasy. I need someone who is adventurous and open. First I want you to come over to my place and make me a clown. I want you to paint my face up and dress me as a clown. Then I want you to wear a top hat and make me perform a circus routine. After the circus performance, make me your clown women and do what ever you want to me. I may fight back a little but I want to be forced upon by a strapping big top showman.’

‘A 12-year-old boy has been charged with sexually assaulting a 23-year-old woman in a car park in north Queensland.

Police said the woman had parked her car in a multi-level car park in Townsville yesterday about 10.30am (AEST) and was walking to the lift when she was approached by the boy.

The boy allegedly grabbed her around the throat and dragged her towards the stairwell, where he sexually assaulted her.

He also allegedly stole money from the woman’s handbag.’

Apparently he didn’t shoot because it was too small a bear. Clever fuckers tho.

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‘This year’s Super Bowl telecast generated about 150 complaints to the Federal Communications Commission, with the bulk of the beefs centering on Prince’s halftime performance and a Snickers commercial. As seen in the letters on the following pages, many correspondents were upset because they believed that the rock star was manipulating his guitar as if it were a penis. As one viewer noted in an e-mail, the “pro-homosexual theme” of this year’s event, telecast on CBS, was “disgraceful.” The writer added that “just because 6% of the population is gay,” porn did not need to be included in the broadcast. Another purportedly offended viewer was concerned that the halftime show would have an unfortunate lasting effect on his son, who “hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay…Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY.” [..]’

‘Joshua Key, 28, was a poor, uneducated Oklahoma country boy who saw the U.S. army and its promised benefits — from free health care to career training — as the ticket to a better life. In 2002, not yet 24 but already married and the father of two , Key enlisted. He says his recruiting officer promised he’d never be deployed abroad, but a year later he was in Iraq. Only 24 hours after arriving, as Key recounts in The Deserter’s Tale (Anansi), he experienced his first doubts about what he and his fellow soldiers were doing there [..]’

‘Attempts to duplicate a stunt from Jackass landed one man in hospital with burnt genitals and left another facing criminal charges.

The men were trying to do a stunt from one of the hit show’s movies, in which a character lights his genitals on fire.

Jared W. Anderson, 20, suffered serious burns to his hands and genitals, according to the criminal complaint.

Randell D. Peterson, 43, who sprayed lighter fluid on Anderson and lit him on fire, was charged with felony battery and first-degree reckless endangerment in Eau Claire County Court.’

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‘That morning latte or espresso may not be the pick-me-up people think it is, a study has revealed.

University of Bristol researchers say the caffeine eases withdrawal symptoms which build up overnight, but does not make people more alert than normal.

The work, presented to the British Nutrition Foundation conference, showed only people who have avoided coffee for a while will get a buzz from caffeine.

But the British Coffee Association said regular drinkers did feel more alert.’

‘In the odd animals hall of fame, this little piggy takes the cake.

Pigs are a sign of fertility in China, and in the Year of the Pig, this piglet got more than his fair share, being born with two mouths, two noses and three eyes.

Liu Shuping, a farmer specialising in raising pigs, presented the new-born piglet in Xi an, in north-west China’s Shannxi province yesterday.

But it’s not unique. Only last month there were reports of a pig being born in Quanzhou in East China’s Fujian province with two mouths and four eyes.’

‘A public high school has suspended three 16-year-old girls who disobeyed officials by saying the word “vagina” during a reading from “The Vagina Monologues.”

Their defiant stand is being applauded by the author of the well-known feminist play, who said Tuesday that the school should be celebrating, rather than punishing, the three juniors.

“Don’t we want our children to resist authority when it’s not appropriate and wise?” said author Eve Ensler.

The three honor students, Megan Reback, Elan Stahl and Hannah Levinson, included the word because “we knew it was the right thing to do. Since we’re comfortable saying it, we should make other people comfortable saying it,” Levinson said.’

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‘More than half of American women are not getting enough sleep — with stay-at-home mothers suffering the most — which stops them eating healthily, spending time with friends, or having sex.

Nearly 70 percent of women say they frequently have a problem sleeping, with most of them stressed or anxious, and 60 percent only get a good night’s sleep a few nights a week, according to a poll by the National Sleep Foundation. [..]

“Women’s lack of sleep affects virtually every aspect of their time-pressed lives, leaving them late for work, stressed out, too tired for sex and little time for their friends.”‘

‘”I’ve got her, and you’re not going to get her.”

Beth Johnson heard those words from her ex-husband Monday, shortly before he crashed his rented single-engine plane into his former mother-in-law’s southern Indiana home, killing himself and the couple’s 8-year-old daughter.

The mother-in-law, Vivian Pace, described the cell phone call Tuesday as investigators tried to determine why student pilot Eric Johnson strapped his daughter into the plane’s passenger seat and apparently crashed the plane deliberately into the one-story house. [..]

“That was the only way he could hurt Beth,” she said. “That was the only way he could get to her.”

In the cell phone call, Pace said, her daughter could hear the child in the background saying, ‘Mommy, come get me, come get me.””

‘A 68-year-old grandmother convicted of growing cannabis at her Northumberland home has been given a 250 hour community service order.

Patricia Tabram, from Humshaugh, had denied charges of possessing and cultivating the drug when she appeared at Carlisle Crown Court.

She was arrested in 2005 when plants and growing equipment were seized. [..]

After the hearing she said: “I’m going to go on medicating.

“The police can come to my house every week. I’ll give them a cup of tea.

“I’ll give them a decent biscuit, which of course will be medicated and I’ll give them some cannabis so they charge me again and again and again.”‘

Fucking teeth!

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‘Invocon, Inc., one of dozens of companies expected to showcase their wares at the forum, says it’ll be there to display its “non-lethal, stand-off weapon for military and law enforcement personnel that could ultimately work through walls and other non-metallic structures.” [..]

Wow! Through the walls? That even beats the Active Denial System — the pain ray that Noah wrote about the other day. Invocon even touts its device as a “Star Trek hand-held Phaser Weapon set on ‘Stun’.”

However, rather than causing intense pain, like the Active Denial System, Invocon is advertising a weapon that boasts the ability to go through walls and incapacitate everyone in a room by making them lose their balance. “Second order effects would be extreme motion sickness,” the company notes.’