Thursday, February 7, 2008


How To Field Dress A Unicorn

‘No matter how many times you shot a unicorn, they’re sure to stumble off into the bushes and make one last agony-filled run for the fabled gates of their pastel pink homelands. As long as you put enough holes in your unicorns heart and lungs (click here for a shootin’ diagram), you’ve got nothing to worry about: your unicorn will die coughing up it’s own blood not far from where you capped him. When you find a unicorn you’ve shot, don’t get all excited and run over to touch. The first rule is that unicorns are tricky bitches and often fake death just to lure you within impaling range. To avoid this common and undesirable hunter’s fate, pump a couple of rounds into your unicorn’s torso (just don’t hit the horn!). After a couple of safety shots, take a sharp stick and jab it into the unicorn’s eyeball. If the unicorn doesn’t move, congrats, you’ve killed him! If the unicorn still thrashed and makes nasty noises, shot, poke and repeat as many times as necessary.’

One Response to “How To Field Dress A Unicorn”

  1. L Says:

    I don’t know why I find this so very disturbing…

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