Archive for March, 2008

help

Friday, March 7, 2008

 

School worker jailed for stealing from disabled student

‘A Camarillo High School employee has been jailed for stealing snack money from a disabled student.

Ventura County Superior Court Judge James Cloninger sentenced Kristen Rene Santoyo on Tuesday to six months in jail, followed by three years’ probation. She was also pay $285 restitution to the student.

The student’s parents put $5 a day in her lunch box along with her food. The money was for snacks, but her parents say she came home from school hungry.

The 37-year-old Oxnard woman earlier pleaded guilty to felony petty theft and misdemeanor cruelty to a child by inflicting injury. Defense attorney James Harmon says Santoyo took the money to feed a methamphetamine habit.’


e-mail

Hells Angels Plotted to Kill Mick Jagger

‘The death of Meredith Hunter, an 18-year-old black man who clashed with members of the Hells Angels motorcycle gang guarding a rock-concert stage while The Rolling Stones played “Under My Thumb,” spelled the end of the cultural phenomenon that was the 1960’s, according to many observers. But it also led to an assassination plot against Mick Jagger, according to a former F.B.I. agent who is featured in an upcoming BBC report.

In the aftermath of the ugly incident at the Altamont Speedway in California, which was famously captured on film by documentary filmmakers Albert and David Maysles, the Stones did not use the Hells Angels for security again, and did not support them in the finger-pointing that followed Mr. Hunter’s death. A group of the bikers were evidently outraged enough to want to kill Mr. Jagger, so they set out for his vacation home in the Hamptons, according to Mark Young, the former F.B.I. agent.

“A group of them took a boat, and were all tooled up and planned to attack him from the sea,” Tom Mangold, the host of the BBC program featuring Mr. Young, told The Sunday Telegraph. “They planned the attack from the sea so they could enter his property from the garden and avoid security at the front.”‘


forum

Famous assassinations: Who could doctors save today?

‘Would Julius Caesar or John F. Kennedy have survived if they were attacked in Billings today?

Dr. Terry Housinger, a general surgeon at the Billings Clinic, tackled the topic of famous assassinations at a meeting of the History of Medicine Club, offering his audience of medical students and doctors a chance to reflect on the evolution of trauma care.

After describing the circumstances surrounding each famous assassination, Housinger offered his opinion on whether modern medicine could have saved those high-profile victims if the attack had occurred in Billings today.’


Big breasts win verdict for Japanese pin-up

‘A Japanese pin-up model says that her big breasts have not only boosted her career — they also helped her overturn a court verdict.

The bikini model, who goes by her professional name Serena Kozakura, was cleared after a court decided she was too well-endowed to squeeze into a room through a hole, as she had been found guilty of earlier.

“I used to hate my body so much,” Kozakura, who has appeared in product commercials on television, told the private Asahi network in an interview aired Tuesday.

“But it was my breasts” that won in court, she said.’


service

Teacher who exposed pedophilia at Ethiopian orphanage faces jail

‘A British teacher is facing up to six months in jail after being convicted of defamation for comments she made in exposing pedophiles at a children’s charity in Ethiopia 10 years ago.

Jill Campbell and her husband Gary Campbell compiled evidence in 1999 that helped convict the director of an Ethiopian orphanage run by the Swiss charity Terre Des Hommes-Lausanne. The charity acknowledged the abuse took place, but brought a successful defamation case against the Campbells for their claims that the charity’s senior staff covered up the scandal.

Jill Campbell will be sentenced Friday.

“We asked them to stop defaming us and they said no,” said Colin Tucker, child protection manager for Terre Des Hommes in Switzerland. “Then the court asked them to stop defaming us and she said no again.”

The Campbells, who have lived in Ethiopia for more than a decade, have drawn wide support in Ethiopia. A group formed to support them, Stop Institutional Pedophilia in Ethiopia, said the charity is “forcing Gary and Jill to apologize for blowing the whistle.”‘


guidelines

How Not To Remove a Tree

(3.0meg Flash video)

see it here »


handbook

Man Fatally Stabs Himself While Cooking

‘man was killed Sunday when he accidentally stabbed himself while cooking.

Chief Deputy Coroner Charlie Boseman said that Michael Downing, 32, was cooking food for himself and his 8- and 10-year-old sons on Sunday afternoon while his fiance was at work.

Downing burned himself, jerked his hand away and accidentally stabbed himself with a steak knife that he was holding in his hand, Boseman said.

Downing was able to call 911 and explained what had happened. Downing’s 10-year-old son got on the phone with the dispatcher and followed instructions to try to save his father. [..]

Boseman said that the knife had pierced Downing’s heart, causing his death. He said that the knife went between Downing’s ribs, 2 to 3 inches into his chest.’


Sent home in shame, the British commandos who stripped naked for crass stunt in a foreign bar

‘Eight British Commandos have been flown home in disgrace for stripping naked and engaging in appalling behaviour in a Norwegian bar during an Arctic training exercise.

The men disgusted onlookers in the town of Harstad with a drunken game of “naked bar”.

After whipping off their clothes, they urinated on each other – splashing other customers and furniture – before slurring insults and abuse.

Furious senior officers ordered the soldiers, from the Army’s 59 Independent Commando Squadron Royal Engineers, back home to face disciplinary action.

“This is taken extremely seriously,” a Ministry of Defence official said. [..]

Harstad police spokesman Gair Pedersen said: “They were drunk and there was a problem in the bar but we are quite used to dealing with British soldiers like this.”‘


Vatican recants with a statue of Galileo

‘Four hundred years after it put Galileo on trial for heresy the Vatican is to complete its rehabilitation of the great scientist by erecting a statue of him inside the Vatican walls.

The planned statue is to stand in the Vatican gardens near the apartment in which Galileo was incarcerated while awaiting trial in 1633 for advocating heliocentrism, the Copernican doctrine that the Earth revolves around the Sun.

Nicola Cabibbo, head of the Pontifical Academy of Sciences and a nuclear physicist, said: “The Church wants to close the Galileo affair and reach a definitive understanding not only of his great legacy but also of the relationship between science and faith.”‘


How To Give Yourself A Playground Nutshot

‘You know you don’t have to do this, right?’

(1.2meg Flash video)

see it here »


marketing

Central Florida Woman Accused Of Chili Pepper Sex Assault On Teen

‘A 40-year-old Central Florida woman is accused of sexually abusing a 16-year-old girl with yellow chili peppers.

Investigators said the woman, who works at the Carnagie Gardens Nursing Home Center in Melbourne, beat the victim with an iron and iron cord after she arrived home.

She said she was also sexually abused with the peppers while she tried to shower.

The girl then reported the attack to a teacher the next day and a nurse’s exam confirmed the abuse, police said.’


help

School’s bizarre ploy to beat internet perverts

‘A primary school has been accused of being alarmist for covering up the faces of pupils on its website – apparently to protect them from paedophiles.

Bizarrely, the images have been altered with the type of smiley faces popular during the Acid House dance craze of the 1980s.

The decision was taken at Cann Hall Primary School in Clacton, Essex. [..]

Headmistress Clare Reece said yesterday: “The public nature of the internet is an issue we feel strongly about.

“Not all parents want their children’s picture on there.

“You can’t say what is going to happen with any of those pictures.”‘


10,000th post

This is the 10,000th post on this site. Another arbitrary milestone that amuses me for no real reason.

That is all.


e-mail

Pro Golfer Charged With Killing Protected Bird With Golf Ball

‘PGA tour golfer Tripp Isenhour has been charged in Orlando with intentionally killing a protected bird with a golf shot from about 75 yards away.

The incident happened in December at Grand Cypress Golf Club while Isenhour, 39, was filming a video segment for his television show “Shoot Like A Pro.”

Prosecutors said a red-shouldered hawk was making noise, forcing a video crew to film another take.

Isenhour, who earned nearly $500,000 on the PGA tour in 2007, initially attempted to hit the bird from about 300 yards away, according to a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission report obtained by Web site The Smoking Gun.

Those attempts failed, but the hawk flew to a tree closer to Isenhour and again began chirping, prompting Isenhour to say, “I’ll get him now,” according to the report.’


forum

Wobbling Truck Nearly Falls Over

A truck is on a trailer, being towed down the highway. Apparently such things wobble like maniacs if you change lanes too quickly.

(1.3meg Flash video)

see it here »


Who needs security when you have a robot?

‘Rufus Terrill has had it with the drug dealers, petty thieves and vandals he says roam the streets outside his downtown Atlanta bar, O’Terrills.

But instead of calling the police or hiring private security guards, Terrill reached for his toolbox.

He mounted an old meat smoker atop a three-wheel scooter and attached a spotlight, an infrared camera, water cannon and a loudspeaker. He covered the contraption with impact-resistant rubber and painted the whole thing jet black.

And so was born what surely must be Atlanta’s first remote-controlled, robotic vigilante. [..]

He flashes the robot’s spotlight and grabs a walkie-talkie, which he uses to boom his disembodied voice over the robot’s sound system.

“I tell them they are trespassing, it’s private property, and they have to leave,” he said. “They throw bottles and cans at it. That’s when I shoot the water cannon. They just scatter like roaches.” [..]

Terrill insists he’s not a kook, that he’s serious about using his robot to fight crime.’


service

Giant ‘chicken droppings catapult’ set up by businessman to protect premises from arsonists

‘Every night Joe Weston-Webb loads chicken droppings into a 30ft catapult and primes a cannon that used to fire his wife with a railway sleeper, all in the name of security.

The ex-showman wheeled out old props in a desperate bid to protect his business from arsonists. [..]

Mr Weston-Webb, 70, has rigged up Britain’s biggest anti-burglar device after being targeted by vandalism, break-ins and even an arson attack.

But police have told him he will be prosecuted if he unleashes the wrath of the 30ft-tall Roman catapult – filled with chicken poo collected from a nearby farm – on any yobs he catches on his property.

The businessman has even put up a sign outside his property reading: “WARNING. These premises are protected by Smart Poo and railway sleeper projectiles.”‘


guidelines

AFP raid homes of euthanasia planners

‘The Australian Federal Police (AFP) is under fire after raiding the homes of two Victorians suffering from terminal illnesses.

Controversial euthanasia campaigner Doctor Philip Nitschke says AFP officers executed search warrants on 78-year-old Don Flounders of Warragul, and 54-year-old Angie Belecciu of Hastings on Wednesday after the pair announced on television they planned to end their own lives.

Mr Flounders suffers from the asbestos-related disease mesothelioma and Ms Belecciu is terminally ill with breast cancer.

Dr Nitschke says he received a panicked phone call from Mr Flounders this morning as the AFP raids were taking place.

“He called me saying ‘there are people in my house, what do I do’,” Dr Nitschke said.’


handbook

Dumb Woman vs. Parking Gate

When you can’t reach the ticket machine at the parking garage, this is a good a way as any of getting closer. Getting out of the car is for losers. πŸ™‚

(794kB Flash video)

see it here »


Kids see mum raped on YouTube

‘Footage of a mother repeatedly raped in front of her screaming children posted on YouTube has sparked calls for the video sharing website to be moderated.

The 25-year-old woman, who said her glass of champagne was spiked by three teenage boys when they visited her London home in November, said the three-minute mobile phone footage of of her horrific ordeal was watched by 600 people.

The woman said she was unable to move, but fully aware during the hours-long attack.

“They just hurt me the whole way through. They had no respect,” she told Sky News.

“Afterwards one pissed on me, like I was nothing. [..]

“Putting (the video) on the internet was an abomination,” the mother said.

“I was raped on film and you could hear my daughter and four-year-old son crying. I cannot understand how any website could show such a thing.”‘


And the lesson is: Never tease a croc

‘A monster crocodile came within a metre of making a meal of a fisherman on a Northern Territory river.

The saltie came alongside the small boat – probably looking for a free feed of fish – and suddenly exploded out of the water.

It almost got its jaws around 27-year-old Israeli tourist Novon Mashiah, who was leaning over the back of a dinghy posing for a photo. [..]

“I was shocked – the animal clearly wanted to kill me,” Mr Mashiah told the Northern Territory News.

“One minute I was leaning over the boat teasing it for a picture. The next minute it burst out of the water with incredible speed … its jaws fully open. [..]

“I was pointing at it when it suddenly jumped up at me – I didn’t realise that crocs were so aggressive.”’


3 right feet wash up on Canadian islands

‘Three times in less than a year, three right feet inside running shoes have been found on separate islands in the Strait of Georgia.

Police don’t know if there are any links between them. Speculation in the region is rife, including that the feet were from slaying victims or they were the remains from drownings. Police haven’t reached any conclusions.

”It is very unusual,” Royal Canadian Mounted Police Constable Annie Linteau said Tuesday.

”We’re looking into all our missing person files,” Linteau said.’


marketing

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

 

Moses was high on drugs: Israeli researcher

‘High on Mount Sinai, Moses was on psychedelic drugs when he heard God deliver the Ten Commandments, an Israeli researcher claimed in a study published this week.

Such mind-altering substances formed an integral part of the religious rites of Israelites in biblical times, Benny Shanon, a professor of cognitive psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem wrote in the Time and Mind journal of philosophy.

“As far Moses on Mount Sinai is concerned, it was either a supernatural cosmic event, which I don’t believe, or a legend, which I don’t believe either, or finally, and this is very probable, an event that joined Moses and the people of Israel under the effect of narcotics,” Shanon told Israeli public radio on Tuesday.

Moses was probably also on drugs when he saw the “burning bush,” suggested Shanon, who said he himself has dabbled with such substances.”


help

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

 

Hitler – Where Brooklyn At?

Oh my God, I’m dropping shit like a pigeon. I hope you’re listenin’..

(5.0meg Flash video)

see it here »


Rotating Ring Of Fire

Mousse is cool stuff to burn, it seems. πŸ™‚

(3.9meg Flash video)

see it here »


e-mail

US government forces military secrets on Brit webmaster

‘A website promoting the town of Mildenhall has been shut down after it unintentionally became the recipient of hundreds of classified emails, including messages detailing the planned flight path of President Bush.

Over more than a decade, www.mildenhall.com received emails detailing all kinds of secret military information that were intended for official Air Force personnel. One detailed where Air Force One could be found in the air during a planned visit to the region by President Bush. Others included battlefield strategy and passwords.

“I was being sent everything from banal chat and jokes, to videos up to 15mb in size,” Gary Sinnott, owner of mildenhall.com, said in this article in EDP 24. “Some were classified, some were personal. A lot had some really sensitive information in them.” [..]

Sinnott says he brought the SNAFU to the attention of Air Force officials but was never able to get the problem fixed. At first, they didn’t seem to take the matter seriously, but eventually, they “went mental,” he said. Officials advised Sinnott to block unrecognizable addresses from his domain and set up an auto-reply reminding people of the address for the official air force base.’


forum

Monday, March 3, 2008

 

Kick her in the taco, Paco

My random image site has been doing quite nicely lately. Well fucken surprised am I. πŸ™‚ There’s a fair few images on it now. I should be passing 10,000 in the near future. I like arbitrary milestones and your mother will confirm that.

I’ve had more than 2.5 million people visit the image site since I started it last year. Well more than 10 million page loads.

Also, I have a cunning plan to show my testicles to tens of thousands of people, and then claim they aren’t mine. Or maybe I will put someone else’s testicles up there and claim they are mine. You never know. πŸ™‚ Never! [Anyone out there want their nuts on the web? Labia are fine too.] The point is, I would laugh heartily because I have a juvenile sense of humour.

In any case, this is the spot where I don’t love you anymore.


Whole Wide World

She probably lives in Tahiti.

(2.7 and 8.3meg Flash videos)

see it here »


service

Sunday, March 2, 2008

 

The teenage girl who is allergic to WATER

‘Teenager Ashleigh Morris can’t go swimming, soak in a hot bath or enjoy a shower after a stressful day’s work – she’s allergic to water.

Even sweating brings the 19-year-old out in a painful rash.

Ashleigh, from Melbourne, Australia, is allergic to water of any temperature, a condition she’s lived with since she was 14.

She suffers from an extremely rare skin disorder called Aquagenic Urticaria – so unusual that only a handful of cases are documented worldwide.

When Ashleigh gets wet her body explodes in sore, itchy red lumps that take about two hours to ease.

She has to wash. But showering is a painful experience and she can only do it for a minute at a time.’


guidelines

Saturday, March 1, 2008

 

Gay porn twins turn to burglary

‘Gay porn twin brothers have been arrested for a series of rooftop burglaries.

Keyontyli and Taleon Goffney, who starred together in hardcore internet videos, are suspected of raids in at least three US states over 18 months.

They were finally caught after being seen breaking into a beauty salon through the roof.

Police say the pair could be responsible for dozens of similar crimes.

The 25-year-olds have appeared in online gay porn using the names Teyon and Keyon.

Erik Schut, of gay DVDs firm TLA Entertainment Group, said: “They are incredibly good-looking and being identical twins, it’s a novelty.”‘


handbook