‘The world is in shock as news sinks in.
“It’s only a matter of time before your mom kills you and everyone you know.” said Dr. Paul Rathburg, a University professor who is the spokesman for the World Health Organization.
Contact with, or even being in the proximity of your mom is known to trigger acute merman syndrome, sleeping sweats, and a deadly soup of bacteria called gumbo that shoots out of your nostrils.
“We know that your mom needs little time to reach sufficient levels to kill,” Rathburg said.
Rathburg said the first victim was a young man who had a web design job, and worked for a well respected university. “He was perfectly fine when he went to work,” Rathburg said in a telephone interview.
“After about 15 minutes, he had a case of nasal face and collapsed on the floor. The autopsy clearly indicates he died from exposure to your mom,” said Rathburg, who would not disclose the man’s name or the precise place and time of his death for privacy reasons.’