Archive for May, 2008

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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

 

Taking the Piss

‘In homes, apartments, and shanties throughout Buenos Aires, thousands of graying women joyfully pee into plastic containers at all hours of the day.

It isn’t exactly the picture postcard image that Argentina’s Secretariat of Tourism wants spread around the globe.

Gauchos, mountain peaks, tango, Patagonia, steak – now that’s the stuff of travel brochures.

Yet at any given moment, there are thousands more 65-year-old matrons holding a piece of Tupperware between sagging thighs – silently praying that their hand is steady and aim direct – than tight-assed 20-year-olds twirling the Tango.

Properly aged piss, it turns out, is one of Argentina’s least-known but most-valued exports.

The liquid gold from the ripe bladders of postmenopausal women has been helping “float” the Argentine economy by tens of millions of dollars a year for the last decade. Somewhere deep within the pungent molecules of senescent whiz – we’re clearly running out of original ways to say pee – is a high-value hormone used to combat infertility in younger women with ripe, but unwilling eggs.’


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Saturday, May 10, 2008

 

Kids, mom lived with 90-year-old’s corpse for weeks in Wis.

‘Two children and their mother lived for about two months with the decaying body of a 90-year-old woman on the toilet of their home’s only bathroom, on the advice of a religious “superior” who claimed the corpse would come back to life, authorities said Friday.

The children—a 15-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy—cried hysterically Wednesday after a deputy who came to their Necedah home looking for Magdeline Alvina Middlesworth ordered them out because of the stench from her body.

The children were in foster care Friday. Their mother, Tammy Lewis, and self-described “bishop” Alan Bushey remained in custody on felony counts of being a party to causing mental harm to a child. [..]

Lewis told the deputy that Middlesworth had died about two months earlier, but that God told her Middlesworth would come to life if she prayed hard enough.

She said she couldn’t say anything more until she spoke with her “superior”—Bushey, 57, also known as Bishop John Peter Bushey.’


Guys jumping into jeans

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Man Busted For Manicuring Without License

‘A self-proclaimed manicurist decided to open for business in Concord on Monday without the state’s approval, attacking state licensing laws with a nail file. [..]

His first and only customer was Kat Dillon, of Frost, Texas, who said it was her first manicure. It was also Fisher’s first time giving one.

“I’m going to buff it and shine it with one of these, a buffer, basically,” he said.

The manicure performed without a license was undertaken right outside the state Board of Barbering, Cosmetology and Esthetics office.

“The reason I’m doing this is because it’s one of the harmless things I can do to prove that the law is unjust,” Fisher said. “Without the government’s permission, you can’t do nails, hair, lot of other things.”

Fisher said his manicure movement was inspired by the movie “Ghandi” [..]’


MRI Danger

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Afghanistan Firefight Heard On Voice Mail

‘An Oregon couple received a frightening phone call from their son in Afghanistan when he inadvertently called home during battle.

Stephen Phillips and other soldiers in his Army MP company were battling insurgents when his phone was pressed against his Humvee. It redialed and called his parents in the small Oregon town of Otis.

Sandie Petee, Phillips’ mother, and her husband, Jeff Petee, weren’t home at the time of the call. They returned home to find a three-minute voice mail on their answering machine. [..]

They heard shooting, swearing and shouted pleas for more ammunition on the phone call from their son.

“They were pinned down and apparently his barrel was overheating,” said Jeff Petee. “It’s something a parent really doesn’t want to hear. It’s a heck of a message to get from your son in Afghanistan.”‘

(1.8meg Flash video)

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Drunk Falls Off Bridge, Bounces Off Fire Truck

It looks like they were trying to move the truck under him to break the fall or something. Timing was a bit off tho.

(6.3meg Flash video)

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13 Year Old Steals Dad’s Credit Card to Buy Hookers

‘A 13 year old from Texas who stole his Dad’s credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order.

Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father’s existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing “Halo” on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel.

The credit card company involved said it was regular practice to send extra credit cards out as long as all security questions are answered.

The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business. [..]

Ralph’s ambition is to one day become a politician.’


See ya, Tom: Packer quits Cruise’s church

‘The Church of Scientology has lost its grip on James Packer.

The billionaire’s closest friends have revealed that he has quietly distanced himself from Scientology, labelled a cult by some former members, as it faces international controversy about its anti-psychiatry stance.

Members of Mr Packer’s inner circle have confirmed that the billionaire, who had ranked as Scientology’s wealthiest member in the world, was no longer undertaking Scientology courses and had slowly moved away from the religion, telling his closest friends he no longer “needs it”.’


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Friday, May 9, 2008

 

Senator to ISPs: “Think twice” about ‘Net neutrality… or else

‘Sen. Ron Wyden (D-OR) stepped in front of a group of tech executives in Washington this morning to deliver a caffeinated and surprisingly sharp defense of network neutrality. Pledging to use “every ounce of my energy to protect network neutrality,” Wyden had a message for ISPs who might be pondering new charges for various forms of access: “think twice.” If ISPs start down that road, they might soon find that they lose key legal protections including “safe harbors” and tax freedom.

Wyden delivered his ultimatum at a Computer & Communications Industry Association conference in DC, where he cast the entire network neutrality debate in terms of a legislative compromise. Years ago, Congress began protecting ISPs from the twin threats of regulation and taxation; in return, ISPs were expected to deliver an unimpeded connection to the Internet. A move away from a neutral ‘Net would undermine the “very philosophical underpinnings of what we fought for for the last 15 years,” according to Wyden. If that happens, he sees no reason for Congress to continue sheltering ISPs.’


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Which is worse?

Ignorance or Apathy?


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Thursday, May 8, 2008

 

I have news for you, little boy.

‘alright, i got a computer that used to be networked onto a server with classlinks in school or whatever., well i got it home thinking i could reformat the hard drive, yeah…no. they set up a password on the computer so when i go to the utility options or whatever, and it has a password as soon as it opens. and to let you know nothing boots. i tried installing XP but im almost 100% sure that that password is blockin the coputer from accessing it, bc when i go to install XP it says no mass storgae device found. So how do i over ride this password. i changed the RAM and switched out the hard drives, then i took out that little battery for 10 min or so..no luck, Somone please help me.’


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Conservatives Happier Than Liberals

‘Regardless of marital status, income or church attendance, right-wing individuals reported greater life satisfaction and well-being than left-wingers, the new study found. Conservatives also scored highest on measures of rationalization, which gauge a person’s tendency to justify, or explain away, inequalities. [..]

To justify economic inequalities, a person could support the idea of meritocracy, in which people supposedly move up their economic status in society based on hard work and good performance. In that way, one’s social class attainment, whether upper, middle or lower, would be perceived as totally fair and justified.

If your beliefs don’t justify gaps in status, you could be left frustrated and disheartened, according to the researchers, Jaime Napier and John Jost of New York University. They conducted a U.S.-centric survey and a more internationally focused one to arrive at the findings.’


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Wednesday, May 7, 2008

 

Unsatisfying Sex Life Leads to Silverdale Woman’s Meltdown

‘Highly intoxicated and dissatisfied with her sex life, a 28-year-old woman was arrested Tuesday for stealing her husband’s wallet and later assaulting the deputy who booked her into jail.

The meltdown, which deputies witnessed along with the couple’s 3- and 4-year-old children, started when the husband, 24, had told his wife they had three hours to quit smoking, drinking, swearing and engaging in some sex acts because “they were going to be good Christians now,” the woman said.

The man said she had woken him up to have relations, but then became disappointed and angry. [..]

When deputies arrived, the woman denied any assault had taken place, and repeatedly, without sparing a vulgar euphemism, told the deputies about how unsatisfied she was with her sex life — some of the time carrying around a half-gallon of whiskey while doing so.

During an argument with one of the deputies, the woman picked up the family’s 20-pound dog and threw it at the deputy, who caught it, the report said.’


Tuesday, May 6, 2008

 

Man arrested after police find 300 dead cats

‘A California man has been arrested after police say they found about 300 dead cats stuffed into freezers in his house.

Animal control officers also removed 30 live cats from 47-year-old Michael Louis Vondueren’s home over the weekend.

Vondueren was arrested on suspicion of possessing an automatic weapon and obstructing police officers. Animal control officers also are considering issuing citations.

Sgt Jim Hose says Vondueren interfered with officers when they tried to enter his house. The sergeant says they found three freezers crammed with dead cats and the house littered with cat faeces.’


Saturday, May 3, 2008

 

Oh Shiit


Friday, May 2, 2008

 

The Colleen Lopez battery fiasco

During an infomercial for some car jumper leads the women doing the presenting decides to switch the jumper cable connections to the battery. Intentionally, for no good reason.

Silly. 🙂

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Scientists Create First Memristor: Missing Fourth Electronic Circuit Element

‘Researchers at HP Labs have built the first working prototypes of an important new electronic component that may lead to instant-on PCs as well as analog computers that process information the way the human brain does.

The new component is called a memristor, or memory resistor. Up until today, the circuit element had only been described in a series of mathematical equations written by Leon Chua, who in 1971 was an engineering student studying non-linear circuits. Chua knew the circuit element should exist — he even accurately outlined its properties and how it would work. Unfortunately, neither he nor the rest of the engineering community could come up with a physical manifestation that matched his mathematical expression.

Thirty-seven years later, a group of scientists from HP Labs has finally built real working memristors, thus adding a fourth basic circuit element to electrical circuit theory, one that will join the three better-known ones: the capacitor, resistor and the inductor.’


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