moonbuggy

‘I guess the zoo isn’t feeding their gorillas as many fresh bananas as they used to. Right after this was filmed the gorilla got a call from a Dutch porn producer, he’s gonna be a star!’

(2.7meg Windows media)

see it here »

`The Te Uku-bred Barnevelder chick – hatched at Marlene Dickey’s property at the start of last month – has died.

But it wasn’t the extra legs that led to its death, more likely an extra anus, Mrs Dickey believes.

“He developed two bottoms and I think he got glugged up,” she said.’

`Tom Cruise has filed a $50-million lawsuit against Holesome Fun Incorporated, the world’s largest manufacturer of sex toys, over the company’s alleged unauthorized use of his image on its new Mission Insertable butt plug.

Mr. Cruise is also demanding “the immediate and complete withdrawal” of the Mission Insertable butt plug from Holesome Fun’s Dark Side of the Moon catalog and from any and all persons “currently harboring” this device.’

`A woman has suffered severe burning to her anus after being struck by lightning which hit her in the mouth and passed right through her body.

Natasha Timarovic, 27, was cleaning her teeth at in her home in the Croatian city of Zadar when lightning struck the building.

She said: “I had just put my mouth under the tap to rinse away the toothpaste when the lightning must have struck the building.

“I don’t remember much after that [..]’

`Angus MacDougall is a three-year-old terrier mix that has recently been blessed with the revered and holy image of Jesus Christ on his hindquarters. Is this manifestation of The Prince of Peace a coincidence or a bona fide miracle? One thing is for certain, this apparition of the Son of God is sure to inspire controversy. Not much if any true scientific or theological inquiry has been made into the nature of this sign to date, but “seeing is believing” as little Angus’ terrier-tush is obviously marked by the likeness of Christ.’

`Police in Poland have launched a nationwide hunt for a man who farted loudly when asked what he thought of the president.

Hubert Hoffman, 45, was charged with “contempt for the office of the head of state” for his actions after he was stopped by police in a routine check at a Warsaw railway station. [..]

When told to show more respect for the country’s rulers, he farted loudly and was promptly arrested.

Hoffmann was arrested and released on bail but failed to turn up at a Warsaw court early this week to be tried, and the judge in the case rejected an appeal by defence lawyers to throw the charges out. [..]

Instead the court ordered the police to start a nationwide hunt for the man, and interpol have been alerted.’

`Don’t even fucking say a word. I like potato chips, and can’t eat them very much or I’ll get fat.

I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fuck.

The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fucking tell you…

Except in tiny print you cant read without a fucking electron microscope

…is that the primary ingredient is something called “olean” which I have since learned is Latin for “Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease.”‘

`Don’t put your clothes on, put them IN! (In your anus, your vagina, whatever you’ve got to work with).

Inventor John Mott Goodman has patented an entirely new way to hang clothing–snap them into your genitals. Tired of that thong creeping up your bum? Your best solution might be to jam it in further. This invention holds your clothes in place by snapping them onto a bulb that is inserted into your vagina and/or rectum. Don’t just cover your orifices, fill them in as well!’

Mike Tyson is an idiot.

(21.4meg Windows media)

see it here »

`This page, like my arse, is still under construction. Despite hemorrhoid surgery, laser fissure closing and repeated anal tucks, Johnny’s arse is still not ready for public exposure. Once Johnny is happy with his arse we expect to be able to show it on this page. In the meantime here’s a picture of a bird trying to fine-tune her smile by twiddling her nips…..’

`A Swedish doctor who has previously been cautioned in Sweden for using a controversial ‘anal massage’ technique to cure various kinds of pain has been fired from his job in Norway – for the second time.

The man, who also runs a private clinic in Gothenburg, described his dismissal as part of a witch-hunt against him, and said that his technique is successful.

Several years ago, the man was warned by Sweden’s Medical Responsibility Board (HSAN) on at least three occasions, after treating an elderly woman’s headaches and back pain with his method. At the time he was working in the Stockholm area.’

`The Pleasure Periscope is a vibrator and a periscope! Enter into the anus or vagina and watch what’s inside from a 1-inch square window. The rounded clear plastic tip lights up. The 1-inch shaft is hollow with a mirror inside its base. Insertable to about 4.5 inches. It has separate on/off switches for both the vibrator and the light, so you can use either one independently of the other. Total height 8.5 inches.

Uses 2 AA batteries (not included).’

`A British teacher who says a noisy chair made classroom life a misery is suing her former employer for unfair dismissal.

Sue Storer, 48, told an employment tribunal Tuesday she was subjected to sexist and bullying behavior while working as deputy head teacher at Bedminster Down Secondary School in Bristol, southwest England.

Storer said the school failed to replace her chair, which made a “farting” noise whenever anyone sat on it, although other staff received new chairs.’

`Two women have been raped then sodomised with umbrellas in separate incidents in Mpumalanga, police said.

A 27-year-old woman told police a man attacked her near the Delmas municipality buildings on Monday, said Inspector Graham Grimsdell.

“The man dragged her to an open veld and allegedly raped her. After that he took her umbrella and inserted it into her anus.”‘

`When a girl gets off the bed after intercourse and the guy puts his index and middle finger into her vagina and thumb into the anus and pulls her back to the bed.

When i got done with tito’s mom i through her back onto the bed with a new jersey meat hook.‘

‘When you woke up this morning you know that something was missin in your life. It wasn’t the new car, the new job, the boyfriend or the girlfriend.

But now you know: it’s the Baby Jesus Butt Plug.

Slap him on the dashboard. Use him as the ultimate pacifier or make Baby Jesus the centerpiece of your magnificent Dildo Creche.’

Tired of goatse, lemonparty and tubgirl?

This could be the next big fad.

Remember that guy died after sneaking onto a farm and being fucked by a horse?

This is apparently the video. Absolutely not safe for work.

(1.5meg Flash video)

see it here »

`The Teddy Bear with a BUTTHOLE!

Poke your finger in and listen to the antics

– 2 Modes of operation (Normal and Fart mode)’

`A fortysomething man in overalls sings about proper terminilogy for your anatomy. You don’t often see a song played on a miniature guitar that contains the word “vulva”.

This clip originally appeared in the 1984 video Strong Kids, Safe Kids, starring Henry Winkler.’

[sings] Our anus is a useful thing indeed, the anus gives relief in times of need..

`Lebianism ’bout to take over our comminuty .. I’m talkin’ about YOUNG GIRLS!

My son in high school last year, trying to go to the prom, he said “Dad, I ain’t got nobody to take to the prom because all the girls in my class are gay, and ain’t but two of them straight and both of dem ugly.”‘

And it gets so much better. 🙂

`Anytime somebody gotta slap some grease on your behind dere’s somethin’ wrong wid dat. YOUR BUTT AIN’T MADE FOR DAT! [..]

No wonder yo behind is bleedin’!’

(740k mp3)

see it here »

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`Fish can’t speak to each other underwater, but some of them seem to be keeping in touch by farting.

Dr Bob Batty spotted a group of herring swallowing air then releasing it from a small hole near their tail, although the air is nothing to do with food.’

`Notice to Customers:

Discontinuation of Anal Sex Toys

9/27/2005

Effective immediately, we will cease lending anal sex toys to customers. This includes butt plugs, anal beads, anal probes, and dual-penetration dildos. If you currently have one of these types of rental toys, you may keep it without charge as a courtesy accommodation.

We have taken this step due to concerns raised by health officials about the possible spread of fecal-borne disease. Please note, we are confident that our patent-pending cleaning process is sufficient to sterilize toys, even after extensive inter-anal use, and no infections have been reported by our customers. However, we have decided to err on the side of caution by eliminating anal toys from our rental inventory.’

It’s a goatse sorta thing.

Now, if only I could find the biphallic version.. [chuckle] 🙂

Update: Now with a working picture.

see it here »

Here’s a picture of your mother. She’s too sexy for work, so wait until you get home to have a look at her. 🙂

see it here »

`For some serious entertainment use the X-rated ring toss. The small 2 inch long .75 inch diameter silicone butt plug goes in their rear while others throw the the yellow rings at the anal stick. The one with the most ringers wins! Comes with 3 rings and anal plug with stick. Sounds like fun for the whole party.’

Labelling it “not safe for work” is probably redundant, given the title and description. 🙂

I’ll just say it’s not safe for work and leave it at that. 🙂

Best viewed with sound on.

`”This 25 year old man claimed he had gone to a bar and picked up a girl. They then went back to her place. After a short while, they started going at it on her bed. She reached over to her nightstand, picked up something, and inserted into his anus. He didn’t know what it was (hence the reason the xrays were done), but he was gonna kill her.’

With lots of x-ray images and a tally of different objects found. Oh, and a live artillery shell.

`”I did it about two years ago. All my race grid queen and model friends have done it, too,” Miho, a 23-year-old hostess at a posh Ginza club tells Asahi Geino (3/31).

Miho, the men’s weekly notes, is talking about permanent hair removal…from her anus. She’s apparently just one of the growing numbers of young Japanese women who’re tackling their complex over having hairy butts.

“Pubes are a real pain,” Miho says. “On the night before a date with my boyfriend, I have to pluck all the hairs sticking out one by one. I have to screw myself around in all these weird positions to get at them and it hurts my neck and my eyes.”‘

Laughing at things with strange names is the absolute pinnacle of comedy.

Yes it is.