moonbuggy

`U.S. and Mexican officials on Tuesday were investigating a bizarre encounter between Texas lawmen and heavily armed intruders who were wearing Mexican military uniforms while evidently escorting a caravan of sport utility vehicles that was smuggling marijuana into the United States. [..]

Although no shots were fired and no one was hurt, the episode — along with an incident in November — heightened fears that Mexican traffickers and U.S. border agents are headed for a potentially deadly confrontation. American officers, who have long complained about being outgunned along the border, point out that the armed men seen Monday were riding in a military-style Humvee equipped with what looked like .50-caliber machine guns.’

`Investigators want to know how a male inmate wound up in a female holding cell with 13 women.

It happened at the Cumberland County courthouse, where inmates were waiting to go before the judge. Deputies say Michael Harris was behind bars with the women for hours before anyone found out. They’re looking into whether anything sexual happened between them.’

`In the ongoing effort against movie piracy, top providers have become gleaming targets. Largely responsible for introducing highly sought after material, top providers are a highly competitive entity that prioritize public recognition over associated risks. Earlier this morning, several top warez providers found themselves shut down at the hands of local police and the entertainment industry. [..]

Rumors of the bust began circulating online today, as members attempted to warn each other. According to warning notices online, the following top providers have, for all intents and purposes, been eliminated; RELOADED, KNIGHTS, TFCiSO, Cinemaniacs, German-Friend, ParadieseBeach and Klapsmuehle. In addition, the leader of RELOADED was reported as arrested during the raids. It should be noted however, the GVU has not confirmed the closure or arrest of anyone associated with RELOADED.’

`Mexican police hunting the country’s most-wanted serial killer have arrested a female wrestler. [..]

Juana Barraza, 48, was held as she allegedly fled the scene where a woman in her 80s had been strangled with a stethoscope, police said. [..]

She reportedly admitted to Wednesday’s killing, but denied a murder spree in which at least 30 women may have died. [..]

After reports that a woman had carried out the killings, police suspected a man in woman’s clothes.

It meant months were spent detaining and questioning transvestites.’

`The operator of a group home for the mentally ill was sentenced to 30 years in federal prison for enslaving its residents, forcing them to work naked and perform sex acts, and his wife was sentenced to seven years.

Arlan Kaufman, 69, was convicted in November of 31 federal charges and Linda Kaufman of 30 counts, including health care fraud, Medicare fraud, forced labor and holding clients in involuntary servitude at their Kaufman House Residential Treatment Center.’

followup to Kansas couple on trial for enslaving mentally ill.

`An Oregon man hurled both of his prosthetic legs at a police officer, striking him with one, after his son was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving, police said today.

The incident began when the policeman stopped a vehicle going the wrong way on a highway in southern Oregon.

The officer at first detained only the driver, Adam Kackstetter, 26, after he became aggressive. But then his father, Joel Kackstetter, 53, a passenger in the vehicle, grew hostile, a police spokesman said.’

`A prison inmate who shed 31 pounds so he could escape through a narrow hole in a wall has been recaptured after three days on the run in Sydney, the prison department said Sunday.

Robert Cole, 36, who was serving time for sex offenses and armed robbery, escaped from a hospital wing of Sydney’s Long Bay Jail on Wednesday through 6-inch wide hole he had chiseled in the brickwork beside a window frame. He had been undergoing treatment for a psychiatric illness. [..]

He was recaptured in a Sydney shopping mall Saturday disguised with a beard drawn on his face with a pen, The Sunday Telegraph newspaper reported.’

`Dutch police have arrested a thief they dubbed the “salamander man” who talked his way into the homes of dozens of unsuspecting people by saying he was looking for his lost salamander, hamster or iguana.

Police said on Monday they had been hunting the 33-year-old homeless man for months and that he had admitted to about 60 thefts in towns across the country.

Once inside a house, the man stole wallets and loose cash. Police arrested him on Friday after a tip off and found nine empty wallets in his car, which had been stolen the day before.’

`A court has spared a Thai transsexual drug dealer from caning because Singaporean law does not allow women to be sentenced to that punishment, a newspaper reported Friday.

Thai prostitute Mongkon Pusuwan, who underwent a sex change from male to female a decade ago, was instead sentenced on Wednesday to six years in jail after a medical report concluded that she was a woman, the Straits Times reported.’

Caning undoubtably hurts like a motherfucker. But is it worth exchanging for six years in jail?

`After a burglar broke into caricaturist Bill “Weg” Green’s Heathmont home on Sunday, it took the 82-year-old just seconds to draw his attacker.

Fifteen minutes later, patrolling police caught a suspect — and Mr Green’s drawing proved they had the right man. [..]

Police soon arrived and were initially reluctant when Mr Green offered to draw the burglar.

“We were mainly concerned with catching the offender who was still in the area,” said Senior Constable Aaron Roche of Ringwood police.

“I thought (the drawing) might be a stick figure or something like that.”

Seconds later, Mr Green — who still works daily drawing private, AFL and other corporate caricatures, as well as running a gallery — provided a detailed drawing of the burglar’s face.’

`Two women have been raped then sodomised with umbrellas in separate incidents in Mpumalanga, police said.

A 27-year-old woman told police a man attacked her near the Delmas municipality buildings on Monday, said Inspector Graham Grimsdell.

“The man dragged her to an open veld and allegedly raped her. After that he took her umbrella and inserted it into her anus.”‘

`Police arrested a man accused of faking his death more than 25 years ago to avoid paying child support.

Johnny Sterling Martin, 58, had a relative call Family Court in 1979 and report that he died during a bar fight in Alabama, authorities said. That call came a few months after he escaped from a work detail while serving a one-year jail term for failing to pay $4,120 in support for two children.

He was captured Tuesday and jailed, and now owes more than $30,000 in child support and faces an escape charge, authorities said.’

‘An “incompetent” burglar who was tackled by elderly members of a petanque club would never again be able to hold his head up among his criminal peers, his lawyer told Christchurch District Court today.

Clinton Michael Dearman, 38, was in court for sentence after admitting charges of burglary and aggravated assault at Christchurch Petanque Club on December 11. [..]

At sentencing today, Dearman’s lawyer, Michael Knowles, urged Judge Michael Crosbie to regard the publicity and humiliation his client had suffered as a result of media attention as a mitigating factor.

Dearman had been pictured in media hog-tied and surrounded by elderly club members while they waited for police to arrive.’

follow-up to Pensioners ‘hog-tie’ burly intruder.

`An Ohio man has been sentenced to a year in prison for burying his 1997 BMW.

Prosecutors say he did it so he could report the car stolen and collect insurance money.

Matthew Mueller must repay $20,000 to Progressive Insurance and also reimburse more than $15,000 in costs to authorities who dug up the vehicle.’

Who knew it cost so much to dig a hole.

`A well-liked Chicago family dentist let pimps rent out his Marina Towers condos so hookers could turn tricks there and stayed after hours at his downtown dental office to fix the teeth of battered prostitutes for free, the feds charged Wednesday. [..]

The pimps Kimmel is charged with aiding allegedly used violence to draw in underage girls in some cases and in others to force girls to continue the work. On tape recordings, the pimps refer to Kimmel as “Doc.” Various wiretaps outlined in an FBI complaint indicate Kimmel knew who he was dealing with.

When a prostitute fails to return one of Kimmel’s cars, a pimp vows he’ll set her straight.

“When it comes to me and you, and take care of real business, I’ll cut all them legs off for you,” the pimp said.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Kimmel allegedly said on the wiretap.’

`A Central Florida man was arrested on charges he exposed himself to a child at a Wal-Mart store, according to a Local 6 News.

Brian Williams was supposed to face a judge on drug charges Tuesday from a previous arrest, but he is now being held on $30,000 bond for allegedly flashing a child at the Fruitland Park Wal-Mart.’

with an amusing mugshot.

`State investigators have stumbled onto a basement office in the West Virginia Capitol outfitted with computers, video and audio gear, and software used to pirate movies and music recordings, according to a document obtained by The Associated Press.

“Specifically, one hard drive contained approximately 40 full-length motion videos,” state Chief Technology Officer Kyle Schafer said in the Jan. 5 memo to Administration Secretary Robert Ferguson. “Two other hard drives contained over 3,500 MP3 music files consuming more than 14 [gigabytes] of hard drive space.”

Hundreds of blank DVDs, CDs and jacket covers were also found, as was software “commonly used to crack header codes on copyrighted materials such as movies and music to allow duplication,” Schafer’s memo said.’

`Investigators say a North Carolina woman instructed her two young children to stay on the bed as she fled the family’s burning home.

That woman is now charged with murder. Lisa Louise Greene, 40, is being held without bond. [..]

Addison Macemore, 8, and her 10-year-old brother, Daniel, died in the Jan. 10 fire.

Greene is also charged with arson, possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia.’

`A 53-year-old woman was so depressed and desperate to end her life that she agreed to pay a friend to arrange for a hitman to kill her, a court heard.

Christine Ryder ended up handing over a total of £20,000 to Kevin Reeves after he agreed to murder her himself.

But Reeves, 40, of Saltings Road, Snodland, near Rochester, failed to keep his side of the bargain and she shopped him to the police.

Now he has been jailed for 15 months after being convicted of deception.’

`The best ten stories, according to HumorFeed, are as follows (in alphabetical order, by website):

* Avant News: President Bush Paints Self Into Corner
* BBspot: Microsoft’s Antispyware Tool Removes Internet Explorer
* Brainsnap:Christian Fundamentalists Suspected of Terrorist Bombings
* BSNews: President Bush Sells Louisiana Back to the French
* Confusion Road: Terri Schiavo Dies; Congress Orders Feeding Tube Reinserted
* Department of Social Scrutiny: Government Responds to Charles and Camilla’s Wedding with ID Card Follow-up
* The Fake News: One Hot White Chick Injured in Tsunami Disaster
* John Fanzine: Scientists Discover Most Boring Substance Ever
* Opinions You Should Have: Existence of Poor People A Surprise, Says Bush
* Studio 8 Entertainment: Popeless World Plunges Into Chaos’

`A Maori cultural performer who headbutted a Dutch tourist during a traditional welcome is unapologetic about the attack which left his victim with a broken nose and two black eyes.

Speaking after being sentenced in court yesterday, Richard Minarapa Mitai-Ngatai said the victim had laughed during the “sacred” ceremony.

“He was disrespecting my culture that I love, a culture I am proud to be a part of,” Mitai-Ngatai said.’

`A poker game at a Casselberry home early Sunday morning came to an abrupt end when two men were shot by an off-duty Maitland police officer who was not allowed to join the game. [..]

The trouble began when Benjamin Simanton showed up with a friend — Metevier — wanting to join the game.

Simanton and Metevier were told that everyone had to put up $100. The pair refused. Instead they offered to come in with $20 each, reports said.

The disagreement led to an argument between Metevier and Granich, who is Webster’s cousin. Things escalated, and the off-duty officer ran out of the house with Granich chasing after him, according to reports. Next, the three men inside heard a popping sound, and came out to find Granich moaning on the ground and bleeding from a stomach wound.’

`Police directives about what could and could not be photographed were an abuse of power and should be ignored, Liberty Victoria said today.

The civil liberties body made the statement after a report in a Melbourne newspaper today said a member of the Geelong Camera Club received a visit from police after he photographed gas storage cylinders at the city’s Shell oil refinery.

Club member Hans Kawitski was told not to photograph industrial installations and was ordered to inform members of the camera club to follow his lead.

Liberty Victoria said its advice to photographers would be to ignore the directive.

“The police have got no place making such warnings,” president Brian Walters SC said.’

`Melbourne’s train temptress has struck again.

However police and rail officials have met to plan an end to her saucy crime spree.

The woman broke into a cabin on a peak-hour Frankston train on Tuesday night and broadcast X-rated praise of the driver to stunned commuters.

The husky-voiced intruder is believed to be the serial seductress behind a similar break-in and announcement on the Sandringham line last week.

The trespasser evaded capture by authorities on both occasions.’

`A woman accused of slashing her neighbor’s pregnant belly to steal the fetus will seek an insanity defense, her attorney said in court documents.

Attorney David DeFazio said his client Peggy Jo Conner suffers from “severe mental disorders, including but not limited to psychosis and schizophrenia” and that an insanity defense would be offered.’

You don’t say..

`You get in the cab, settle back and expect to reach your destination without hassle.

You would not expect to be:
Told off.
Stranded on the road shoulder of an expressway.
Made to feel trapped in the dark and in the rain.
Told about your impending death at the hands of the cabby.

This is allegedly what happened to a couple in their 50s. [..]

According to the couple, he used the auto-close door system to close the door on them when they tried opening it. This happened four times.

The couple claimed he then said: ‘If I step on the pedal, all three of us will die together.”

`By a margin of 52% to 43%, Americans want Congress to consider impeaching President Bush if he wiretapped American citizens without a judge’s approval, according to a new poll commissioned by AfterDowningStreet.org, a grassroots coalition that supports a Congressional investigation of President Bush’s decision to invade Iraq in 2003. [..]

The poll found that 52% agreed with the statement:

“If President Bush wiretapped American citizens without the approval of a judge, do you agree or disagree that Congress should consider holding him accountable through impeachment.”‘

`Marijuana, cocaine and narcotics began disappearing from the evidence room, and police say they’ve found the culprit — rats.

About a month ago, North Port Police Department evidence and property technician Pamela Schmidt picked up a bag and noticed that it looked like it had been chewed through, said Capt. Robert Estrada. [..]

Estrada said some narcotics and marijuana were eaten by the rats, but did not know how much was eaten.’

`A man who bit off part of his girlfriend’s face and spit it out on the sidewalk was convicted of assault.

Gareth Whyte’s lawyer contended prosecutors could not prove his girlfriend was seriously injured or disfigured. But the prosecutor argued Whyte should not get a break just because the woman had a talented plastic surgeon.

“I’ll agree the defendant is not guilty when he can put this back,” said prosecutor Heide Mason, holding up a jar containing the girlfriend’s flesh.’

`A secondary school has been shut while police hunt for a man believed to be hiding in the ceiling cavities. [..]

The south-east London school will be shut until next week. Year 11 students will study for their GCSEs in a building the man has not accessed. [..]

He added that the only description they have of the man is that he is black.’