moonbuggy

`Police in Germany are hunting pranksters who have been sticking miniature US flags into piles of dog poo in public parks.

Josef Oettl, parks administrator for Bayreuth, said: “This has been going on for about a year now, and there must be 2,000 to 3,000 piles of excrement that have been claimed during that time.”‘

‘Australian Guantanamo Bay detainee Mamdouh Habib was tied to the ground while a prostitute menstruated on him after he failed to co-operate with interrogators, his lawyer said yesterday.

Interrogators also told the Sydney man they had killed his family and superimposed animals’ heads on photos of his wife and children, Mr Habib’s lawyer Steven Hopper said yesterday.’

I wonder how many menstrating prostitutes the US Government keeps on its payroll. Because you never know when you’ll need one.

[shrug] Cunts.

‘The Denver Police Department is investigating a sergeant who allegedly threatened to arrest the 26-year-old for displaying the bumper sticker.

Bates said she was told by the sergeant Tuesday that her bumper sticker was illegal because it was profane. She said he told her he’d arrest her if she didn’t remove it.

But City Attorney Cole Finegan said he doesn’t believe there’s any city ordinance against displaying a profane bumper sticker.’

You can’t let people get away with having bumper stickers. Next thing you know they’ll be wanting to smoke _and_ have jobs.

Updated. More here.

‘A Serbian Bruce Willis lookalike who passed himself off as the star was caught out – because he thought anyone called Bruce must be Australian.

Goran Markovic successfully conned people into thinking he was the Hollywood actor until he was caught using a fake Australian passport and accent instead of an American one. [..]

“I thought he was Australian, all the rest in Hollywood seem to be from there,” he told police.’

‘Sentencing will be Jan. 20 for a man who unintentionally killed a friend who had given him a beer can filled with urine as a practical joke. [..]

He punched Leonard Strong in the head last July on the Umatilla Indian Reservation, and Strong died two days later. [..]

Shippentower told federal judge Ancer Haggerty he did not mean to kill Strong but was upset at the prank.’

`Arkansas’ naked jogger has been zapped. For months, officers have been getting reports about a man making late-night runs in the buff. On Monday, police said they think they got their mystery jogger.

Fate Patterson, 39, of West Memphis, was arrested after he ran past a police car and failed to stop when he was ordered to do so by officers. Police chased him and were able to rein him in by using a Taser.’

‘A woman today admitted ripping off her ex-boyfriend’s testicle with her bare hands after he refused to have sex with her. [..]

In a statement read out by judge Charles James, Mr Jones continued: “I was left standing in my underpants. She was still lying on the floor.

“Suddenly she grabbed my genitals and pulled hard. That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain.”

Referring to his friend Danny McDonagh [..] Mr Jones said: “I believe Danny walked out shortly afterwards. He came into the kitchen and said to me, ‘That’s yours’, and I saw that he was holding one of my testicles in his hand.”‘

`A former Hampshire Regional High School substitute teacher yesterday pleaded guilty to stealing a student’s prosthetic arm. [..]

Assistant District Attorney Michael A. Cahillane said that in October 2003 a 13-year-old girl brought a prosthetic arm to Hampshire Regional while Bridges was a substitute teacher. After Bridges’ January 2004 arrest on weapons charges, police searched his car and home and seized weapons. Soon after that, his fiancee brought other items to Southampton police, including the prosthetic arm, Cahillane said.’

`And how to keep the neighbors from stealing yours.’

‘Town officials have restored a woman’s business license weeks after accusing her of trying to sell a sex toy – a vibrating yellow-ducky sponge – at a flea market. [..]

Town officials had threatened to cite Williams for violating the sexually oriented business ordinance after she set up a table at the flea market last month, but they could find no witnesses who would testify to seeing her display.’

follow-up to Woman Accused Of Selling Vibrator Disguised As Duck.

`The nuns were convicted by a federal jury in April sabotaging the national defense and damaging government property. The nuns cut a fence and walked onto a Minuteman III silo site in October, swinging hammers and using their blood to paint a cross on the structure.’

‘A man who believed he was a pirate at sea when he was actually a prisoner in the Dunedin police cells has been admitted to Dunedin Hospital after his drug-induced pyschosis failed to wear off. [..]

Police inquiries have revealed that on Saturday the man drank the juice of a garden plant [containing mescalin]’

followup to Naked ‘Pirate’ arrested in NZ.

‘A naked man standing on a roof looking through a rolled-up magazine thought he was a pirate, New Zealand police said. [..]

“He believed he was a pirate at sea and was using a rolled-up magazine as a telescope,” [police] said.’

`The bizarre episode began at 12:30 a.m. [..] as the manager was closing up for the night, police sources said.

The manager went up to Steven Scott, 33, and asked him to leave, but the stubborn customer refused, authorities said.

Scott became so enraged that he pulled down his pants and urinated on some merchandise in the store, sources said.

After swiping four DVDs and a blank tape, Scott fled the store, the sources said.’

`Mask, 74, was killed with a concrete block inside a motor home on property that he owned [..]

Mask’s body, nude but for a pair of socks, was found Thursday on a bed in the motor home, [policeman] Jordan said. He died sometime Sept. 7 after he was struck twice on the head with the concrete block, which was found on the bed under a pillow, Jordan noted.

Robbery is believed to be a possible motive for the killing, Jordan said. But that’s not the only possibility, Jordan added cryptically.

[..] Mask would use the motor home to “meet people,” Jordan said, declining to get into further details.

[..] sheriff’s department records indicate that Mask was twice accused of sexual crimes involving men who rented rooms from him.

[..] “I have suspected for some time that this may happen one day,” Jordan said. “Is it bizarre? Yes. Is it a surprise to me? No.”’

`A Sabine Parish man is accused of fowl play, authorities said.

Timothy Garner, 35, of the Florien area is suspected of having sex with a chicken. [..]

After being brought in for questioning [some policeman] said Garner admitted to having sex with the animal.

He also told investigators that it was not his first time in the chicken yard, police said.’

`When police raided a house in Teignmouth they found a home-made bomb making factory where Jeremy Britton had constructed six explosive devices.

[..] Britton, who was jailed, was to tell police that they were “little boys’ toys” and that it was like having “a chemistry set”. Britton said he liked war, guns and explosives and he liked the sound of the “boom” when he set off the bombs. He said it was something to do when he was bored and he used to explode the bombs on rubbish dumps.’

‘A man whose genitals were bitten off by a pit bull remained in serious condition Tuesday, and the dog remained on the loose. [..]

The man was naked when found at the park, but it was unclear at what point he had taken off his clothes. Neighbors had seen him playing with the dog earlier in the day.

Arbogast said investigators do not know why the man was naked, and remain uncertain about some circumstances surrounding the attack.’

also here:

‘Albuquerque police and animal control officers canvassed the area Monday evening and Tuesday morning looking for the dog and some of the man’s body parts.’