moonbuggy

‘During a live TV cooking show some guy faints and slams his head against a blender.’

see it here »

This is from some Japanese TV show. People are selected randomly from a group to do unpleasant things, which are quite hilarious to watch. From `The Slapping Machine’ to ‘Bad Smell Air’, it’s all great. They’re doing it all in a library though, so the people who don’t get picked are struggling very hard not to laugh lest the librarian shush them.

Japanese TV is some of the best TV in the world. This is hilarious. :)

(23.3meg Flash video)

see it here »

`Staff at an Irish riding school were forced to postpone festivities after Gus the camel chomped his way through 200 mince pies and several cans of Guinness intended for their Christmas party.

Gus, starring in the riding school’s Santa’s Magical Animal Kingdom show, helped himself to the feast while staff were getting changed for the party. [..]

The 11-year-old camel, originally from Morocco, cracked open six cans of Ireland’s famous stout with his teeth after the door to his stall was left open.’

`Oprah Winfrey has morphed into a middle-aged white woman, says 50 Cent, and “caters” to their needs more than she does her black sisters.

The loose-tongued rapper accuses Oprah of being an Oreo – black outside, white inside – in an interview in the January issue of Elle (via Page Six), saying that the Queen of All Media “started out with black women’s views but has been catering to middle-aged white American women for so long that she’s become one herself.” [..]’

`A man who burned a dog to death in the oven of a house he was robbing has been sentenced to 15 years in prison, a prosecutor said.

Alexander Davis, 20, received a five-year sentence for aggravated animal cruelty and 10 years for burglary, Chatham County Assistant District Attorney Melanie Higgins said.

The dog’s owner, Angela DeLettre, came home in August 2005 to find an open back door, items missing and a kitchen sink overflowing with water. She found one of her dogs safe, but the other, a 1-year-old rat terrier, was missing.

Police later found the dead dog in the oven, which had been set to 400 degrees.

Police arrested Davis on an anonymous tip a few days later.’

`A factory manager in east China has been arrested for using grease from swill, sewage, pesticides and recycled industrial oil to make lard for human consumption, state media said Monday in the country’s latest food scare.

Ying Fuming, a manager at the Fanchang Grease Factory in Taizhou, a city in Zhejiang province, sold the lard at half the price of other wholesalers while promising that his product met safety standards, the Shanghai Daily said. [..]

The Taizhou factory, which opened in September 2005, was ordered shut down but continued operating at night, the Shanghai Daily said. It sold its product to retailers across the country, who sold it to clients, including hotels and restaurants, it said.’

`Police are searching for the driver of an SUV who chased and fatally shot a 14-year-old boy he thought had thrown an egg at his vehicle early yesterday.

Danny Crawford, of 3217 Valley View Dr., died of a single gunshot wound in the upper body, according to Franklin County Coroner Brad Lewis.

Danny’s body was found in an alley behind 28 N. Terrace Ave., on the city’s West Side. The shooting took place about 12:30 a.m.

He died at the scene, Lewis said.’

`Jackson and his 29-year-old wife, who have been separated since July, have five children ranging in age from 1 to 13 years old, Shupe said. Jackson apparently started fighting with his wife after she and the children returned to their Conyers home on Thanksgiving.

At one point during the fight, Jackson allegedly attempted to stuff his wife inside the kitchen oven, which had been left on to heat the house, Shupe said. The woman escaped and went to the sheriff’s office with visible head injuries, Shupe said.

Investigators found Jackson hiding under a bed at his mother’s house in Decatur, where he had been living since the separation, Shupe said.’

This woman has a few comments about pea salad and how much she likes it.

see it here »

`A three-year-old boy was eaten alive by a herd of pigs in a village on the outskirts of New Delhi after family members did not notice him wander outside his home, an Indian newspaper reported today.

Ajay, 3, was clutching a piece of bread when he was attacked by the pigs, the Hindustan Times said.

“We were all having lunch inside the house and did not realise that Ajay had walked out,” Lal Bahadur, Ajay’s uncle, was quoted as saying.

“A few minutes later, his mother noticed a few pigs chewing something.”‘

`Season Shot is made of tightly packed seasoning bound by a fully biodegradable food product. The seasoning is actually injected into the bird on impact seasoning the meat from the inside out. When the bird is cooked the seasoning pellets melt into the meat spreading the flavor to the entire bird. Forget worrying about shot breaking your teeth and start wondering about which flavor shot to use!’

`The family of four was enjoying a meal together at Pizza Piazza in the High Street at about 9.15pm on October 16 when they were approached at their table by the suspect, who was carrying a clear plastic bag containing what police believe to be urine.

He was heard to say “This is for you” and then threw the liquid over the family and their food. He then quickly walked out of the restaurant.

A waitress in the restaurant called the police who did not arrive immediately, leaving the family sitting in urine-soaked clothes for more than 30 minutes.’

`69-year-old Inga Walen’s refrigerator was top heavy and as she leaned in to open the fridge door, it fell forward, toppling her.

Inga tried calling for help any way she could. At first she grabbed some shattered glass pieces that fell on top of her during the accident, and she threw them at her kitchen window to draw attention and make noise. After that didn’t work, she then managed to grab a wooden spoon and a pressure cooker lid, and banged the two together as she called for help.

Luckily by the fourth day, Greg Allen, a politician running for the Placer County Water Board, heard Inga’s call for help while going door-to-door campaigning. He found an unlocked door and ran in to save Inga’s life.’

Four days banging on a pressure cooker with a wooden spoon. Heh.

I could go live in a cave and eat rabbits, or something.

`A diet containing curry may help protect the aging brain, according a study of elderly Asians in which increased curry consumption was associated with better cognitive performance on standard tests.

Curcumin, found in the curry spice turmeric, possesses potent antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties. [..]

After taking into account factors that could impact test results, they found that people who consumed curry “occasionally” and “often or very often” had significantly better MMSE scores than did those who “never or rarely” consumed curry.’

`The four customers left Peking Palace without paying for their meal.

Waiter Bobby Aru noticed; he would be stuck paying their $40 dinner tab Monday night at his mother’s restaurant, 1261 S. Rock Road.

He ran into the parking lot and hollered at the three men and one woman to stop. When they got into a red pickup, he impulsively jumped into the bed of the truck as they drove away. [..]

He said he yelled at them again to stop, but it didn’t matter. The driver swerved and made sharp turns in an effort to “shake me loose.”

But Aru hung on.

“It looked like a kung fu movie,” he said.’

‘I guess the zoo isn’t feeding their gorillas as many fresh bananas as they used to. Right after this was filmed the gorilla got a call from a Dutch porn producer, he’s gonna be a star!’

(2.7meg Windows media)

see it here »

`The US government today dismissed media reports it had banned Vegemite.

“There is no ban on Vegemite,” US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) spokesman Mike Herndon said.

Media reports at the weekend claimed American border officials were confiscating Vegemite from Australians as they entered the US.

The FDA, charged with policing America’s food supply, has not issued an “import alert” to border officials to halt the import of Vegemite’

followup to Happy Vegemites?.

`The Bexar County Sheriff’s Office Internal Affairs Unit is investigating a complaint of two deputies who allegedly forced two men to eat marijuana, KSAT 12 News reported. [..]

Martinez and Sandoval said the deputies were looking for a woman when they found their marijuana during an search of their apartment Sept. 29.

“They … put it on the counter and the cop came back up to me,” Martinez said. “(He) told me, ‘Well I’m going to watch you and your roommate eat it. And you all (expletive) better eat it or not …”

Martinez said the main deputy ordered them to wash the marijuana down with water.’

`The principal of one of Perth’s most exclusive schools has summoned parents to a meeting “of critical importance” following reports of booze-fuelled public sex romps, weekend drug binges and boys employing a stripper whose act involves the use of vegetables. [..]

Mr Syme was prompted to take action following reports of out-of-control weekend parties and a student rugby wind-up involving a vegetable-wielding stripper.

Text massaging was largely to blame for attracting swarms of teens to grand homes in some of Perth’s most expensive suburbs for under-age parties, where students from a number of schools took illicit drugs and engaged in “inappropriate sexual behaviour in parks and other public places”, he said. ‘

`The US has banned Vegemite, even to the point of searching Aussies for jars of the spread as they enter the country.

The bizarre condiment crackdown was prompted because Vegemite has been deemed illegal under US food laws.

The great Aussie icon — faithfully carried around the world by travellers from Down Under — contains folate, which under a technicality, the US allows only to be added to breads and cereals.

Australian expatriates in the US said enforcement of the ban had been gradually stepped up and was now ruining lifelong Vegemite on toast breakfast traditions.’

`A sordid incident involving a carrot, a jar of Vaseline and “other food items” saw the owner of a local food outlet fined $350 in Griffith Local Court last week. [..]

The police statement said the carrot “appeared to have lubricant or some other liquid on it”. The man told police he was not able to get out of his car because he “was not wearing any clothing”, and officers noted he had an erection. An open jar of Vaseline and a number of food items, which police said had been used for “some purpose”, were visible in the front seat. [..]

Police noted the convicted man appeared to be affected by drugs and the court was told his actions could have caused “disgust” in the minds of a reasonable person.’

`Icebox Mélange
Ingredients:
Entire contents of refrigerator
1 Diet Snapple
5 mg. Ambien

Take Ambien, fall asleep.

Wait 2-3 hours, then sleepwalk to kitchen.

Devour everything in refrigerator (including all fancy mustards and jellies, iffy takeout leftovers, and plastic dial from thermostat).

Belch loud enough to wake wife or girlfriend. When she enters kitchen, bellow, “Can’t you see I’m working here?”

Fall asleep on kitchen floor.

After 4-5 more hours, wake up on subway, fully dressed from the waist up, drinking a Diet Snapple.’

`Two Canadians remained paralyzed Tuesday after drinking carrot juice contaminated with the botulism toxin, health officials said.

A week after Bolthouse Farms issued a continental recall of its carrot juice, at least 10 Toronto businesses still had the product on their shelves over the long holiday weekend, prompting health officials to call on the media to warn households and shopkeepers to throw away the juice.’

‘Three fast-food restaurant workers were taken into custody Sunday evening after two police officers discovered that the hamburgers they had ordered had been sprinkled with marijuana.

The Isleta Police Department officers had eaten about half of their burgers from a Burger King restaurant in Los Lunas before realizing that something was wrong. Opening the burgers, they discovered marijuana sprinkled on top of the meat.

“One of the officers, when he was eating his hamburger, he said, ‘This thing tastes like it has marijuana in it,'” said Lieutenant Joseph Sanchez of the Los Lunas Police Department. “And that’s when he opened it up to see what was inside.”‘

`There are many thousands of Chinese restaurants around in the UK and everyone has their favourite dish, but only in China itself do chefs specialise in a range of slightly more unusual delicacies.

A glass of deer penis juice amongst food on a table at the restaurant (Photo credit: Stefan Gates)
Many of the restaurant’s guests are wealthy businessmen

The dish in front of me is grey and shiny.

“Russian dog,” says my waitress Nancy.

“Big dog,” I reply.

“Yes,” she says. “Big dog’s penis…”‘

(1.5meg Windows media)

see it here »

`The suspect, Thomas Fatty, was milling around the 7-11 at 11 East 1700 South. Employees say they saw Fatty shoplifting the burritos and confronted him. Fatty threatened the employees, saying he had a weapon.

Police say Fatty then threw enough money on the counter for one burrito and took off. [..]

Lt. Dave Cracroft, Salt Lake City Police Dept.: “It’s strange that he would decide he needed to have the last bite of his burrito before he complied, when he had two officers pointing pistols at him.”

Fatty was booked into the Salt Lake County jail on suspicion of aggravated robbery.’

`A western Iowa woman is recovering from the shock of finding a drowned bat in her tea mug – after she sipped from the cup all day. The brown bat, about the size of two tea bags, was found a few weeks ago by a 60-year-old Woodbury County woman, said Chuck Cipperley, an environmental director for the Siouxland health office in Sioux City. [..]

Mike Pentella, program manager at University Hygienic Laboratory, said the bat was a first for the lab.

“We test many, many bats,” he said, “but none that have drowned in a cup of tea before.”‘