moonbuggy

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Court documents can be amusing. :)

‘[..] Anyway, one year there were these two guys who were taking Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, etc., such that going into the final they had a solid A.

These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem final was on Monday), they decided to go up to UVirginia and party with some friends up there. So they did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and everything, they overslept all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to Duke until early monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, what they did was to find Professor Bonk after the final and explain to him why they missed the final. [..]’

This guy climbs into a large balloon. Why? Who knows.

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‘A hero cabbie who took on the Glasgow Airport terror suspects told yesterday how he booted one of them in the privates.

Alex McIlveen, 45, kicked the man, whose body was in flames, so hard that he tore a tendon in his foot.

But he said last night: “He didn’t even flinch. I couldn’t believe he didn’t go down.’

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They’re on a wharf hitting golf balls into a lake. What could go wrong? :)

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‘Dear Co-Workers and Managers,

As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “Today is my last day.”

For nearly as long as I’ve worked here, I’ve hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express. [..]’

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‘These guys hijack their bosses chair so that he continues to break them but he thinks its because he is overweight.’

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What happens when you fill a box with photos from gay pr0n magazines and a dildo, write “Free Puppies” on the outside, and then leave it on the street?

Funnily enough, people open the box curiously and then seem surprised.

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Miriam has the answer. :)

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‘It’s not the first time the Polish weekly Wprost has gotten in trouble in Germany. This week, the cover depicts Chancellor Angela Merkel breast-feeding the Kaczynski twins. But it could have been worse, the editor-in-chief points out. At least they used a 21-year-old model.

“Europe’s Step-Mother:” Polish magazine Wprostdoes it again.
It’s not exactly how one expects to see German Chancellor Angela Merkel: The broad, friendly smile seems completely at odds with her open blouse, two bare breasts spilling out. On each breast, one of Poland’s governing Kaczynski twins is affixed — Prime Minister Jaroslaw is suckling on the left, President Lech has attached himself to the right. One of them is holding up the “victory” sign right in Merkel’s cleavage.’

‘John Stamos showed up drunk two days in a row while down in Australia promoting ER. After this interview with Kerri-Ann Kennerly Australia cancelled the rest of his interviews and sent him home.’

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‘Before voice overs on Deadliest Catch and before Dirty Jobs, Mike Rowe worked for QVC. And he was exactly the same. These are his a few of his greater moments, sorted by awesomeness.’

‘What the hell was that?’

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‘Who would’ve guessed that towing a guy face first on a skateboard would not out as well as they planned? These kids need to take a Physics class.’

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‘A teacher who forced a pupil to write ‘I am a retard’ 100 times has been acquitted of abuse charges by an Italian court.

The teacher, whose identity was withheld to protect her privacy, forced the punishment on the 12-year-old boy after he blocked a fellow pupil from going to the toilet and called him “gay” and “girly”.

The parents had sought 25,000 euros ($40,107) in damages and a public prosecutor had called for a two-month prison sentence, but the court cleared the teacher, a court source said.’

‘Germany has banned the makers of Tom Cruise’s new movie from filming at military sites in the country because the actor is a Scientologist.

The German defence ministry said Cruise has “publicly professed to being a member of the Scientology cult”.

Scientology masquerades as a religion to make money, Germany said, but leaders of the church reject this.

Cruise’s producing partner Paula Wagner said the star’s own convictions had no relation to the film’s content.’

Whatever, slut.

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A reporter asks a kid with zombie makeup on what he thinks..

Who doesn’t? :)

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Baltimore police are looking for a few good pairs of pants.

The police department has run out of two popular sizes of the custom-made navy blue uniform pants it provides to every officer, a department spokesman said Wednesday.

Officers who wear size 36 or 38 will have to wait for new pants until a special order comes through.

“We are officially out,” said Officer Troy Harris, a police spokesman. “We’re putting in an emergency order for those two sizes.” [..]

Cadets receive four pairs of pants when they leave the police academy. When officers need a new pair, they get them free but are required to turn in their old ones.’

That’ll teach her.

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I may have posted this video before, but never with the narration. :)

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‘Almost everything we think we know about the Bible and sex is wrong.

Instead of being a list of sexual shalt-nots, the Bible contains so much graphic eroticism that parents may want to keep the sacred text away from youth under age 18.

Indeed, that’s what 2,000 Hong Kong residents tried to do in May when they called on a Chinese decency commission to restrict the Bible to adults only because it contains passages that seem to give the okay to incest, rape, adultery and a father offering his daughters to strangers for sexual gratification.’

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