moonbuggy

These people have put a scary mask on a sheep. Every time it tries to join the herd they become terrified and run away.

(1.5meg Flash video)

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‘A massive wildfire that has already burned thousands of acres in the Pinelands and forced the evacuation of residents in two towns likely started this afternoon when an F-16 fighter jet dropped flares as part of a maneuver over a gunnery range, New Jersey National Guard officials said tonight.

The fire, fueled by dry conditions and gusty winds, has already consumed more than 12,000 acres, almost 19 square miles, along the border of Ocean and Burlington counties. Several highways were closed and as many as 2,000 homes in Stafford and Barnegat townships, including several retirement communities, had been evacuated.’

Some of the comments are quite amusing.

Not the sharpest tool in the shed.

(3.1meg Windows media)

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‘Media Rights Technologies and its digital radio subsidiary BlueBeat.com said in a press release Thursday that it had issued cease and desist letters to the high-tech titans. It argues that the companies have manufactured billions of copies of Windows Vista, Adobe Flash Player, Real Player and Apple’s iTunes and iPod “without regard for the DMCA or the rights of American intellectual property owners.” [..]

MRT, based in Santa Cruz, Calif., argues that its X1 SeCure Recording Control technology has been “proven effective” as such a protective measure by plugging the “digital hole” that allows even copy-protected music streams, when played back, to be captured and potentially copied. The company says that because the companies are avoiding use of its purportedly effective product, they are violating the DMCA.

“We’ve given these four companies 10 days to talk to us and work out a solution, or we will go into federal court and file action and seek an injunction to remove the infringing products from the marketplace,” CEO Hank Risan said in a phone interview Friday. [..]’

‘This guy was sick of his roommate slamming the door every morning at 6am so he buttered the tile floor and set up a camera to teach him a lesson. And if that wasnt enough, he got him again later that day.’

(3.0meg Windows media)

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‘A student told yesterday how he lost his mobile phone after being “mugged” by an angry flock of geese.

Sam Rozati, 23, was attacked by four birds as he walked past their nest.

They pecked so hard he dropped his phone.

Then one bird grabbed the mobile and disappeared into the undergrowth in Colchester, Essex.

Final-year law student Sam said: “They flew over and started biting my hand until I dropped the phone. I had to move away for my safety.”

His attempts to find his phone have failed — as it is set on silent.’

‘Police say traffic is returning to normal after a truck load of peanut butter spilled across a busy intersection in Melbourne’s north this morning.

Traffic had been disrupted by slippery conditions after the truck lost its load at the corner of Settlement Road and Dalton Road, Thomastown shortly before 6am.

Workers from the local council were called in with equipment to absorb the oil from the peanut butter.

Police spokesman Senior Constable Leigh Wadeson told ABC radio he did not know whether the peanut butter was crunchy or smooth.’

‘A police officer will avoid criminal charges despite admitting he took marijuana from criminal suspects and, with his wife, baked it into brownies.

The police department’s decision not to pursue a case against former Cpl. Edward Sanchez left a bad taste in the mouth of at least one city official, who vowed to investigate. [..]

The department’s investigation began with a 911 call from Sanchez’s home on April 21, 2006. On a 5-minute tape of the call, obtained by the Free Press, Sanchez told an emergency dispatcher he thought he and his wife were overdosing on marijuana.

“I think we’re dying,” he said. “We made brownies and I think we’re dead, I really do.”‘

Also, there’s a recording of the 911 call. :)

(13.2meg Windows media)

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‘I’ll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:

I got a vasectomy.

I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.

I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.

We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her – as I was to find out – it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully.

Four months into dating, I get the “I’m pregnant” talk. She’s going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married “for the baby”. She’s positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she’s gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.’

Historians agree..

Also, more of the ugly truth.

‘WENN is reporting that Mr. T, Dick Benedict, and Dwight Schultz will appear on British export ‘Most Haunted’ in a ghost-chasing attempt to contact the soul of George Peppard. Honestly, Mr. T., are you that desperate to get back on the air? This grizzly train-wreck makes ‘Celebrity Boxing’ seem classy.

Possibly the funniest/saddest portion of this pathetic cash grab is the extremely documented and extremely tumultuous relationship between George Peppard and Mr. T. Peppard, a surly and cantankerous old man, hated Mr. T. with the passion and vigor known only to Satan and Pastor Fred Phelps. I wonder how he feels about his over-the-hill arch nemesis using his soul for monetary reward.’

‘If you hadn’t heard, TechCrunch20, the conference which alleges to put a sense of merit back into startup conferences, has declared MC Hammer a Web2.0 “expert” and put him on the panel of judges. These judges will select amongst the bajillions of entries the rarified few who will present their wares to VC’s and industries insiders over a two day period.

Who are the other judges?

* Mark Andreeson, founder of Netscape.
* Chris Anderson, Editor-In-Chief of Wired.
* Dave Winer, grandfather of RSS, and author of one of the first blogs ever.’

Also, stop! It’s hammer time..

(10meg Flash video)

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‘*Anony-X has joined #mac*
sometimes when im masturbating i look at pictures of dogs. not dogs having sex or anything, just dogs. like chasing frisbees and shit. just the way they move and their bark gets me so hot. i can fit 3 more fingers in my pussy when theres a dog around.
mac users, i swear to god…
*Anony-X has left #mac*’

‘He has flippers instead of feet — and certainly no sneakers or hiking boots. But that didn’t stop a sea lion from joining schoolchildren on a walk-a-thon.

The marine mammal apparently noticed children doing laps Friday morning around a course they had set up at the Marin Country Day School next to the shores of the San Francisco Bay. The 185-pound Steller sea lion waddled ashore, shocking students and teachers.

“He did a whole lap,” said Kelly Watson, director of constituent relations and web communications at the private school.’

One of these kids is not like the other ..

(2.1meg Flash video)

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I didn’t read most of this page, ’cause I couldn’t be fucked. But, right at the top is the following quote, which suggests the rest of the page may also be amusing:

‘To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.’

It’s funny because it’s true. :)

‘The job posting was a head-scratcher: “We seek a newspaper journalist based in India to report on the city government and political scene of Pasadena, California, USA.”

A reporter half a world away covering local street-light contracts and sewer repairs? A reporter who has never gotten closer to Pasadena than the telecast of the Rose Bowl parade?

Outsourcing first claimed manufacturing jobs, then hit services such as technical support, airline reservations and tax preparation. Now comes the next frontier: local journalism.’

I thought he was going to smash it, but he didn’t. Still, unlucky. :)

(1.2meg Windows media)

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‘Newfoundland police had been searching extensively for an American fugitive, only to discover Thursday that he had already been arrested 10 days ago in Vermont. [..]

The Royal Newfoundland Constabulary, believing he was in St. John’s, called in a ground search team and the Canadian Coast Guard to help with the search. They released Estep’s photo and a description of his car in the hopes someone would provide a clue to his whereabouts.

It turned out Estep was arrested and jailed on May 1.’

‘This is a really funny prank call to a public access Christian TV show where a guy named TDawg reveals he just read the bible for the first time and loved it.’

(9.4meg Windows media)

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‘An 11-year-old student and two parents at Evergreen Elementary School got a scare this morning when a squirrel ran into the building and attacked them, drawing blood in two cases, school officials said.

All three victims were treated for bites and scratches at a local hospital, said district spokesman Will Ector, and all are undergoing rabies treatment as a precaution. They also were administered antibiotics, he said.

The attack occurred as a classroom of first-graders was preparing to go on a field trip, said Ector. Two parent chaperones were standing in the room when a squirrel ran in and then up the leg of one of the parents, he said. [..]

Finally, the squirrel jumped off the mom, did a loop around the classroom, then ran out the door and jumped on an 11-year-old student walking by. She was bitten on the arm as well, Ector said.’

‘A college degree is fast becoming a necessity for anyone looking to maintain a comfortable middle-class living. Unfortunately for many college students, just paying for this degree is a struggle. The cost of tuition is rising, and two-thirds of all college graduates leave college with debt averaging close to $20,000 (Herbert). In some cases this figure is much higher, and in countless others students can’t even afford to finish college in the first place. According to Tamara Draut, the director of the Economic Opportunity Program for public policy group Demos, the problem is “rooted in the reality that our government no longer really helps people pay for college” (qtd in Herbert). If college students truly want to reap the benefits of their education, they need another source of assistance in paying for college. [..]

This is why I believe students should have the opportunity to sell their organs to the college they are attending in exchange for cash or financial credit.’

‘When you are walking through the park with your wife and newborn baby you must be very careful and subtle when you check out other women who pass by. Follow this guys lead and youll never get caught.’

(2.4meg Windows media)

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‘An odd-looking Canadian coin with a bright red flower was the culprit behind the U.S. Defence Department’s false espionage warning earlier this year, The Associated Press has learned.

The odd-looking — but harmless — “poppy coin” was so unfamiliar to suspicious U.S. Army contractors travelling in Canada that they filed confidential espionage accounts about them. The worried contractors described the coins as “anomalous” and “filled with something man-made that looked like nano-technology,” according to once-classified U.S. government reports and e-mails obtained by the AP. [..]

The supposed nano-technology actually was a conventional protective coating the Royal Canadian Mint applied to prevent the poppy’s red colour from rubbing off. The mint produced nearly 30 million such quarters in 2004 commemorating Canada’s 117,000 war dead.’

Followup to Canadian spy coins never existed.

This tortoise doesn’t like cats invading it’s territory, apparently. Determined little bastard. :)

(5.4meg Flash video)

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‘A Jewish girl away from home at college prank calls her parents and tells them she started dating an Italian guy. The father threatens to kill the guy and the mothers comments are priceless.’

(16meg Windows media)

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‘Two Canadian comedians have fooled France’s president-elect Nicolas Sarkozy with a crank phone call.

The ‘Masked Defenders’ – Marc-Antoine Audette and Sebastien Trudel – called Mr Sarkozy pretending to be Canada’s Prime Minister Stephen Harper.

The caller apologised for his poor French skills and invited Mr Sarkozy to visit Canada to eat a popular Quebec dish of fries, cheese curds and gravy.

Mr Sarkozy accepted, but hung up when the comedian suggested they invite the US President George W Bush and said he had always wanted to host a “dinner of fools”.’

‘Some reported asks a couple some various questions about their sex life. The clip kinda drags until the final answer given which shocks both the husband and the reporter.’

(2.8meg Windows media)

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‘Police are seeking the vandals who spray-painted the words “Go Home” on a Samoan Shepherd who enjoys wandering, unleashed, though its Idaho neighborhood. As seen in the below evidence photos, the dog, named Wiley, had one word painted on each side of his body. According to a Bannock County Sheriff’s Department report, Wiley’s owner called cops late last month after discovering her dog “had been spray painted with gang graffiti.” Actually, it appears that the ambulating animal wasn’t tagged by an Idaho Blood or Crip, but rather by some annoyed neighbor or juvenile delinquent. A sheriff’s deputy advised Wiley’s owner, Marilyn Hardenbrook, to keep the dog in her own yard (and under her control while the pooch was “out and about”).’

‘Would you like to be the exclusive owner of a number, with the right to sue other people for knowing your number or telling other people what it is? Now you can.

Last week, the AACS consortium made history by issuing legal threats against the 1.8 million web-pages (and counting) that mentioned its secret code for preventing HD-DVD discs from being copied.

In effect, AACS-LA (the AACS Licensing Authority) claimed that it owned a randomly chosen 128-bit number, and that anyone who possessed or transmitted that number was breaking the law. Moreover, it claimed to own millions more random numbers — claimed that the US Digital Millennium Copyright Act, which criminalises telling people how to break anti-copying software, gave it exclusive dominion over its many keys.

Why should the AACS get all the fun? Princeton prof Ed Felten has come up with a great way of giving out legally protected 128-bit numbers to anyone who wants them. If he gives out 2^128 of these, then all 128-bit numbers will be owned and no one will ever be able to use a 128-bit key without breaking the law. Good times.’

BTW, I now own the following numbers:

E5 30 A4 6C BF AF 7B 85 59 26 F6 75 32 B2 02 36
06 80 45 C8 3F 90 1D B6 FC DD AE 35 0B C0 2F 64
C7 7C B3 43 96 66 C6 69 0C 0F 9D DA CC B1 2D 5C

If you wish to use them, please email me and we can discuss licensing fees. :)