moonbuggy

‘After a dot-com merger completed a company had 82 extra computers lying around. A couple of guys lined them up like dominos around the office and knocked them over.’

(1.8meg Windows media)

see it here »

‘Alec Baldwin’s daughter got her Dad’s message. But she called back. And she left a nasty, nasty message, and got really, really mean.’

Followup to What Alec Baldwin Thinks Of His Daughter.

(1.6meg Flash video)

see it here »

‘An early-morning German bank customer had a bit of a shock when he found a horse in line at the automatic teller machine in front of him.

It seems the horse’s owner, identified only as Wolfgang H., had a bit too much to drink the night before and decided to sleep it off inside the bank’s heated foyer, police said Tuesday. [..]

“It was late, it was already dark and cold,” he was quoted as saying.

Confronted with the lack of a hitching-post, he brought the 6-year-old horse, named Sammy, in along with him.’

(3.7meg Windows media)

see it here »

‘This guys friends were sick of having to go outside to take a piss so he created a pressurized urinal that launches the piss directly into the neighbors garden.’

(4.3meg Windows media)

see it here »

see it here »

‘A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.’

Regular expressions always confuse me. I see now my problem all along has been not enough vine.

‘Police are searching for two would-be bandits after Postal Annex employees got the giggles and foiled an attempted armed robbery, reported television station KPTV in Portland, Ore. [..]

One of the men had a fold-up knife and was having problems opening it. The employees, thinking the attempted robbery was a hoax, laughed at the would-be robbers, KPTV reported.

The assistant manager, playing along with what she assumed was a joke, picked up the phone and threatened to call 911. As soon as she said the three numbers, the two would-be robbers were gone, the employees said.

“He didn’t have a serious voice to him,” said employee Shelley Martin. “We thought he was kidding, so we were laughing back at him.”

“We just didn’t take them seriously. It was like having your kid brother come up with his cowboy and Indian thing,” said employee Nicole Luedtke.’

(2.2meg avi)

see it here »

(433kB asf)

see it here »

(5.5meg Windows media)

see it here »

‘A fight at an Indiana high school turned into a medieval attack when a freshman girl hit another student and tried to hit a teacher with an uncommon weapon.

As CBS 2’s Suzanne Le Mignot reports, Gary police say the girl still has not said how she got the medieval weapon, which weighs about six pounds. The freshman, who has been charged with battery, told police she brought the weapon to school because she was tired of being picked on.

“She was aiming for my face,” said Shanique Ballard, the target of the attack.

Ballard said she bumped into one of the freshman’s friends in the hallway at Lew Wallace High School, and an argument started. Ballard said that’s when the young girl pulled out a flail – a sharp, spiked metal ball attached to a handle by a chain or short stick – and started swinging.’

I think it just likes the treadmill rubbing up against it.

(3.6meg Windows media)

see it here »

‘I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Pal at Big W and standing inline at the check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I’d been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid bitch…why else would I buy dog food??’

Hooray for country and western music. :)

(5.0meg Windows media)

see it here »

(1.9meg avi)

see it here »

‘Microsoft spent millions of dollars advertising its next generation OS ‘Windows Vista’ in China, in fact the IT juggernaut threw up the biggest Vista Ad on the 421 meter high Jin Mao tower in Shanghai China. However after 2 weeks (Jan 19 to Feb 2) from launch Microsoft managed to sell a mere 244 copies of Windows Vista. Software piracy is rampant in the middle kingdom and a pirated version of Vista sells for a mere $1 on the streets. The following numbers are quoted by Windows Vista chief distributor in Bejing.’

‘Singer Robbie Williams and neighbor Joe Pesci got into an argument when one of Robbie’s friends blocked Pesci’s driveway with his car. Pesci stormed over to Robbie and pals wielding a golf club. The “Goodfellas” actor shouted,

“Which one of you motherfuckers blocked my drive? If you don’t move in 30 seconds, I’m gonna smash your windscreen!”

“At first, Rob stood there smirking when Pesci bounded over waving a club. But he quickly realised the seriousness of the situation and ordered his pals to move their cars.”‘

‘The mural destroyed by ACT Liberal MP Steve Pratt was paid for under a government program to promote legal street art and was effective in discouraging vandalism.

The artwork was funded under an urban planning scheme and commissioned by a local sporting group, said Chris Kon of the Department of Territory and Municipal Services.

Legal artworks like the one Mr Pratt painted over as part of a publicity stunt to promote his anti-vandalism policies were “very successful” at discouraging illegal graffiti, said Mr Kon. [..]

“It’ll cost some money for (the artist) to re-do it again.” [..]

State Chief Minister Jon Stanhope said the matter would be referred to the police for investigation.’

‘”As you know, we have a test next Thursday…”
“Is it going to be multiple choice?

This was in Math 73, Multivariable Calculus. [..]

A girl in my Literary Criticism class, “I can’t believe Bush got re-elected, nobody I know voted for him.”

I go to school in Canada. [..]

In my college psychology class we were talking about the ethics of testing medicine on animals when some girl in the back busts out this gem.

Girl: “So like, instead of testing on mice and monkeys, why don’t we just test on the like starving people in Africa? I mean, they’re going to die anyways right?”

She was serious too.’

(6.4meg avi)

see it here »

What happens when you hit an aerosol can with a shovel?

(2.2meg Windows media)

see it here »

Ouch. :)

(5.6meg avi)

see it here »

‘This guy had a little too much too drink while playing some pool with a couple buddies. As he sizes up a shot he goes to lean on the side of the table and its lights out for the night.’

(965kB Windows media)

see it here »

Oops. :)

‘Having trouble with the ladies? Well Eugene the sexpert has some very useful advice that should improve your chances right away.’

(8.4meg Windows media)

see it here »

This is more brilliance from Bill Dance, who you may remember from: Bill Dance Fishing Illustrated

(8.1meg Windows media)

see it here »

(640kB Flash video)

see it here »

An excerpt of a recent conversation I had:

Anon says: Downloaded over a gig of porn last night on [friend]’s 500mb/month wireless internet quota and [the ISP seems] to think I downloaded 80mb…. they also seem to have credited her account $300…

Anon says: I should download porn more often. :)

moonbuggy says: That’s a bit crazy. You musta downloaded so much pr0n you broke them. :)

Anon says: Was only a few days into the quota too…

Anon says: Bloody pornfest 07

Anon says: Yeah… is quite strange..

moonbuggy says: [grin] She gonna be annoyed? :)

Anon says: Nah…

Anon says: What… that I wanked hard, downloaded shitloads of porn and made her $300?

Anon says: Would you be mad?

see it here »