‘A chewbacca impersonator was arrested after being accused of head-butting a Hollywood tour guide who warned the furry brown Wookiee about harassing two Japanese tourists.
“Nobody tells this Wookiee what to do,” “Chewie” from the Star Wars movies said before slamming his head into the guide’s forehead, the Los Angeles Times newspaper reported today.
The two metre tall 44-year-old man was charged yesterday with misdemeanour battery and later released on $25,880 bail, the Los Angeles Police Department said.’
‘Guy uses computer to text his roommate a false message about drunk horny girls. Hilarious reaction from confused roommate when he comes back [..]’
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see it here »
‘Fiji’s military regime has banned Australian Prime Minister John Howard and New Zealand’s Helen Clark from entering the country.
The move against the two leaders – both vocal critics of coup leader Frank Bainimarama – follows Canberra’s decision to ban the military leader and his supporters from coming to Australia. [..]
Fiji TV has reported that Howard’s and Clark’s names appear on a Fiji Immigration Department list that bans some people from entry, and others from leaving.’
‘A rubber penis and fake severed head have been stolen from the set of new horror film ‘Hannibal Rising’.
The movie’s director Peter Webber revealed the theft and is convinced the guilty party is planning on selling them.
He said: “There’s a character called Dortlich whose head is severed during the course of the movie. It was stolen by someone. There’s also a scene with a body that Hannibal Lecter is working on. It’s a full-size replica human body, including the genitals. Somebody took the genitals – they had to cut them off. So someone somewhere has got a large rubber penis and a rubber head.”
Webber is going to check internet auction site eBay to see if they turn up.’
This little kid doesn’t seem to like donkeys.
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see it here »
‘The Best Toes on the net!’
People will rate anything. It’s fucken great. :) I should start a website called rateyourmothershairyanus.com. People with start submitting pictures of hairy arseholes within hours.
‘A group of Greek nuns abandoned their convent and went into hiding after running up debts of more than 600,000 euros ($A1.01 million) from a knitting business that went bust, authorities said. [..]
The nuns are believed to have taken refuge at another monastery in central Greece and the Greek press has reported that the Church of Greece has offered to help them pay their debts and come out of hiding.
The church’s representative was not available for comment.’
‘This is just another reason why Stephen Colbert rules. For those of you who don’t know, last week Stephen Colbert made a hockey game bet with Oshawa, Ontario Mayor John Gray. If Colbert’s team lost, he would have to wear the opposing team’s jersey. If Mr. Gray’s team lost, he would have to declare his own birthday, March 20, to be “Stephen Colbert Day” in his city of Oshawa, Ontario (that’s in Canada btw).
Colbert’s team won. March 20th is officially “Stephen Colbert Day” in Oshawa, Ontario. Here’s Colbert’s victory phone conversation with Mayor John Gray.’
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see it here »
‘A New Zealand postal worker who is in trouble for scrawling abusive comments on school exam results says it was all supposed to be a joke.
The arrival of final year exam results can be fraught enough without free and frank character analysis scrawled by a mischievous postie.
Daniel Zeigler recognised the names of students at his former Christchurch secondary school while he was sorting their exam results.
The 18-year-old offered a somewhat blunt critique of their leaving certificate efforts in blue marker pen.
New Zealand Post, embarrassed by the incident, is promising to review its procedures but apparently cannot charge the temporary worker because under the law, sorting and stuffing exam results in envelopes is not regarded as tampering with the mail.
Mr Zeigler says everyone should lighten up – it was just a joke.’
Ricky Gervais talking about the morals behind nursery rhymes. He’s pretty funny. :)
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see it here »
‘This is a pretty funny prank. The best part of it is what he asks the toll booth attendant at the very end of the video.’
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see it here »
‘A suspicious package alert that shut down downtown Boston Wednesday afternoon was actually part of an elaborate marketing campaign by the Cartoon Network to spark interest in its “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” show.
After state and local officials said they were launching an investigation into a series of “suspicious packages” found around the city, the Cartoon Network released a statement saying the packages were magnetic lights that pose no danger.
“They are part of an outdoor marketing campaign in 10 cities in support of Adult Swim’s animated television show Aqua Teen Hunger Force,” the statement said.’
‘A WDJT-TV (Channel 58) engineer told Muskego police Monday that the loss of the live transmitting van that broke through an iced-over channel on Big Muskego Lake would be up to $250,000.
Crews chipped away ice Monday from the submerged news van, which broke into the channel while the station was preparing a segment on snowmobiles and ice safety. [..]
“This story hits close to home for our cbs 58 family. While doing a story on thin ice yesterday one of our colleagues mistook a frozen channel for a road at Big Muskego Lake. One of our mobile live units wound up submerged in about 5 feet of water. Fortunately, nobody was hurt.”‘
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see it here »
It’s an ad for an insurance company, but it’s still funny. :)
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see it here »
.. and the real reason for his quick exit.
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see it here »
`A high school lunch period was disrupted Monday by a greased, naked student who ran around screaming and flailing his arms until police twice used a stun gun on him, authorities said.
Taylor Killian, 18, had rubbed his body with grapeseed oil to keep from being caught, and got up after the first time he was shocked to continue running toward a group of frightened students huddled in a corner at Westerville North High School, Lt. Jeff Gaylor said.
“That prank went a little farther than he intended, I guess,” Gaylor said. [..]
Police said that an administrator ordered Killian to stop, but that the student made a sexual gesture and kept running.
Killian is in jail and charged with inducing panic, public indecency, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct.’
Little bit of a mishap. :)
(633kB Windows media)
see it here »
‘”It’s not like a milking cow. They’re huge – those horns – you don’t know if they’re going to attack or what they’re going to do,” said Sharri Matronic, adding that the cattle have destroyed a retaining wall in her yard and eaten her azaleas and ivy. [..]
“I can walk up and pet them,” Echard said.
That doesn’t impress police Officer Rich Michelsen, who recently had to use his patrol car, flashing lights turned on, to herd one of the cattle away from the police station in this town of 3,100 about 25 miles northeast of Seattle.
“People think it’s funny,” Michelsen said. “It’s tiring, is what it is.”‘
`According to authorities, the suspect entered the store at about 10:30 p.m. dressed in skin-tight black clothing and armed with a samurai-style sword.
The suspect stood in line before he demanded the cashier turn over the money in the register, reportedly waving his sword in the air.
The cashier and other customers inside thought the suspect was pulling a prank. The cashier refused to give the suspect the money and he fled the scene.
Richfield Police were called. They searched the neighborhood for the suspect but he managed to slip away into the night in the manner of a ninja.’
‘Damage to the frontal lobes has been historically related to changes in personality, with striking effects on a person’s ability to tell jokes and respond to humor. Such individuals often exhibit silly euphoric behavior, inappropriate laughter, and have an addiction to telling jokes that are usually inappropriate in content.’
An addiction to telling inappropriate jokes would be fucken hilarious, I reckon. :)
‘Great. The other thing, I’m a real clotheshound, and I gotta admit, I kind of like the uniforms, but I’m not into green for the most part.
Actually, we’re wearing a digital pattern now, and it’s blue and tan.
Can you spice it up with some yellows or reds?
No, you can’t.
Is your underwear also camouflage?
No, that’s pretty much up to you.
So you can go wild with underwear—and socks, maybe?
Yeah.
Good, ’cause I’ve got a lot of red and yellow stripes, I’m a huge yellow and red freak.’
Pictures of hot chicks with douchebags. And amusing descriptions to go with the pictures. For example:
‘I’ve seen ass chin before.
I’ve seen butt chin. I’ve seen chin pubes. I’ve even seen chin crack.
But this is beyond all of that. This is “Chin Ass.” One of the rarest forms of anus manifestation in the douche-face, Chin Ass conquers all previous ass chin aspirants. [..]’
`A man who was fed up with paying massive bank charges decided to give one of the high street giants a taste of its own medicine.
When Royal Bank of Scotland refused to refund £3,400 charges that Declan Purcell believed he was owed, he sent in the bailiffs.
Stunned customers at his branch of RBS watched as debt collectors seized four computers, two fax machines and a till filled with cash.
The branch manager was told that the items would be sold unless RBS came up with the money owed to Mr Purcell. [..]
Mr Purcell said: “I think the bank was pretty shocked when the bailiffs went in. But my view is that this is exactly what they would have done to me.”‘
`Madison lawyer Rick Petri says he hopes there’s a lesson for others in what happened to him early Thursday.
Petri found himself in the embarrassing position of going to the Madison Police Department to pick up a client who had been arrested for drunken driving, only to be arrested himself for the same offense.
“I did not think I was intoxicated, and I was wrong,” Petri said.’
‘Police said they arrested a South Charleston man for driving under the influence after he flipped his middle finger at Kanawha County Sheriff Mike Rutherford and then crashed his car. [..]
Rutherford said Vickers took the exit and as he did, he extended his middle finger toward the sheriff.
Vickers then crashed the right side of his station wagon along the exit’s guardrail, Rutherford said.
“He was looking directly at me, giving me the finger and just ran into the guardrail,” Rutherford said. “There’s no question in my mind he was not paying attention.”‘
Here’s some calls this guy has made to phone sex lines. Including:
“I’m into Jewish Mother Stereotypes…” and
“I’m into Old-Timey Barbers…”
`A tattoo artist from Argentina is facing a lawsuit after drawing a penis on the back of an Argentinean football fan instead of his favorite team’s official logo.
Reports said the teenager approached the tattoo artist and asked him to tattoo the logo of the Boca Junior football team on his back.
However, the tattooist was an avid supporter of the rival team and decided to play a prank on his young customer.
After reaching home, the victim proudly showed his parents his new tattoo and was surprised to learn that a penis was tattooed on his back.’
