moonbuggy

Some guys change the Windows shutdown sound on their friends lap top, then film him using the computer in a library.

Baa!

(3.0meg Windows media)

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This woman is driving through a gate, but doesn’t do a particularly good job. I bet she was surprised. :)

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`A determined 9-year-old runaway who managed to board flights from Seattle to Texas in efforts to rejoin his grandfather in Dallas was seeking a father figure, his mother said.

Sakinah Booker said her son dislikes his new neighborhood, is afraid of a sex offender who lives nearby and has been impatient with her efforts to move back to Dallas.

She said her son, Semaj Booker, misses having a father.

“He needs a male role model and he’s really seeking it,” she said Thursday morning in a report aired on CNN. [..]

Meanwhile, authorities scrambled to determine how Semaj, an 80-pound, 4-foot-9 fourth grader, managed to slip through airline and airport security.’

‘Put a thing of firecrackers in a tin and toss them at your mother lounging on the couch….See what happens.’

(3.0meg Windows media)

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`Teenager Jack Taylor was left looking like an "elephant boy" after trying to dye his hair black.

His head swelled up after he had a suspected allergic reaction to dye made by L’Oréal – whose slogan is "because you’re worth it".

The 15-year-old still has a rash on his face and body two weeks later – and is being treated with steroids and antihistamine tablets.

Jack, who has dyed his hair in the past without problems, said yesterday: "I did it for fashion but it wasn’t worth it."’

`A man boarded an aircraft at Heathrow and took his seat. As he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realized she was heading straight towards his seat and bingo! She took the seat right beside him.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, “Business trip or Holiday?” She turned, smiled enchantingly and said “Business. I’m going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States”.

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`A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The police man approaches the driver’s door.

“Is there a problem Officer?”

The policeman says, “Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?”

The driver responds, “I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.”

“You don’t have one?”

The man responds, “I lost it four times for drink driving.”

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`Winning bidder will take ownership of my:

– Name
– Phone number
– All my possessions which includes the following
– Clothes,
– Roughly 300 CDs
– Surfboard
– Laptop (minus certain information with my discretion),
– Pushbike (Has wonky handlebars, may need some work)
– Books,
– Bed
– CD player
– Backpack
– Tennis racquets
– Golf Clubs(which you will have no idea how to use)
– Childhood photos
– Skateboard
– Nice lamp which your ex-girlfriend bought you.’

`Forklifts move a lot of old crates … but can you count a $110,000 Maserati as an old crate?

A building worker in Elizabeth Bay’s exclusive Bilyard Avenue did this morning when he found the dark blue luxury car parked in a construction zone.

But things didn’t quite go according to plan.

As the unidentified worker from SMS Construction hoisted the car two metres into the air, it flipped off the forks and crashed on its roof.’

(5.3meg Windows media)

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For some reason this police officer is sure that this man has marijuana on him. :)

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`An escaped chimpanzee at the Little Rock Zoo raided a kitchen cupboard and did a little cleaning with a toilet brush before sedatives knocked her out on top of a refrigerator. [..]

Keeper Ann Rademacher says Judy went into the bathroom, picked up a toilet brush and cleaned the toilet. Rademacher says the 37-year-old Judy was a house pet before the zoo acquired her in 1988, so she may have been familiar with housekeeping chores. Judy wrung out a sponge and scrubbed down the fridge.

It took a couple of tries, but the zoo sedated the chimp, who fell asleep on top of the refrigerator with half a loaf of cinnamon-raisin bread she had pulled out of the freezer.’

The trick is getting over the lip. :)

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`A 46-year-old German motorist driving along a busy road suddenly veered to the left and ended up stuck on a railway track – because his satellite navigation system told him to, police said.

The motorist was heading into the north German city of Bremen “when the friendly voice from his satnav told him to turn left”, a spokesman said.

“He did what he was ordered to do and turned his Audi left up over the curb and onto the track of a local streetcar line. He tried to back up off the track but got completely stuck.”

The police spokesman said about a dozen trams were held up until a tow truck arrived to clear the car off the track.

Several German motorists have crashed their cars in recent months, later telling police they were only obeying orders from their satnavs.’

British Telecom uses the voice of Tom Baker aka Dr Who for the automated reading of SMS messages. This site has a compilation of lots of amusing sentences said by the synthetic Tom Baker. :)

‘Amazing amateur video from a rooftop of the icy road conditions in Portland. The cars are slipping around like a pinball game. Probably the one day a year you can drive wasted and no one would notice.’

(7.9meg Windows media)

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This involves tying a person to each end of a rope then getting the two people to run away from each other. Funny. :)

(6.4meg Windows media)

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An amusing little web comic.

Something about a cup of tea and Jesus Christ.

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Pitfall was a game you could play on your Atari or Amiga. It was great. :)

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This thing is pretty crazy. That’s a long way to fly through the air. :)

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The feedback suits the user name. :)

<superwoman> I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off while I had a mouthful of beer.
<GrandCow> HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
<superwoman> DANNY?!?!?!
<GrandCow> MOM?!?!?!?!

`A post office in upstate New York was evacuated as Secret Service agents and the local bomb squad responded to a suspicious package addressed to former U.S. president Bill Clinton. [..]

After the post office was evacuated, a member of the bomb squad, dressed in protective gear, approached the package and checked it with a portable X-ray device. When no bomb parts were seen, the package was opened, revealing the cookies.

The cookies were then turned over to the Secret Service and the post office reopened.’

American Congressman David Wu gets up and gives a speech about how the Whitehouse is full of Klingons, and how people shouldn’t let Klingons send real Americans to war. It’s wrong!

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`A taxi driver has been given a speeding ticket for allegedly driving at 420mph (676km/h) on a city street.

Tom Matthews was photographed while carrying a fare in his 12-year-old diesel Vauxhall Cavalier in Newport.

When a notice of the £60 fine and three penalty points arrived, it said he was clocked at 420mph in a 30mph zone. [..]

Mr Matthews, 38, of Newport, said: “I could not believe it. I was a bit shocked because there was no way I was going that fast.’

`A reader in New Zealand wrote to ask about the Playmate photos unwittingly taken to the moon in 1969 by Apollo 12 astronauts Al Bean and Pete Conrad. We described in the December 1994 issue how pranksters on the ground crew had reprinted Playmate photos on fireproof plastic paper and inserted them with captions into each of the astronauts’ cuff checklists. [..]

Conrad told us in 1994: “I had no idea they were with us. It wasn’t until we actually got out on the lunar surface and were well into our first moon walk that I found them.” Bean recalled: “It was about two and a half hours into the extravehicular activity. I flipped the page over and there she was. I hopped over to where Pete was and showed him mine, and he showed me his.”

Conrad: “We giggled and laughed so much that people accused us of being drunk or having ‘space rapture.'”‘

‘An Afghan army soldier is trying to demonstrate a very very old Russian RPG.’

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`Thank you for your letter rejecting my application for employment with your firm.

I have received rejections from an unusually large number of well qualified organizations. With such a varied and promising spectrum of rejections from which to select, it is impossible for me to consider them all. After careful deliberation, then, and because a number of firms have found me more unsuitable, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your rejection.’

They didn’t even seem to be going particularly fast.

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