moonbuggy

.. or not. :)

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`When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. [..]

I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. [..]

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said ‘No, six should be enough.’ [..]

If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat? [..]

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?’

This is apparently a short clip from The People’s Court.

What’s the hardest thing about being you? :)

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This woman has a few comments about pea salad and how much she likes it.

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The Daily Show made this little clip of some funny inventions over the past 10 years or so. The Gaydar guy seems a bit, well, gay. :)

(11.6meg Flash video)

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[sings] Bilbo.. Bilbo Baggins.. Only three feet tall.. Bilbo.. Bilbo Baggins.. Bravest little hobbit of them all..

HAHA!

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‘Find a big stranger, jump on their backs like a rodeo and hang on for as long as possible.’

I’ve seen a bunch of clips from this Balls Of Steel show floating around lately. They’re all very funny. If anyone finds anymore, let me know. :)

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`Pamela Anderson dumped husband Kid Rock after he flew into a rage over Borat, according to reports.

The busty ex-Baywatch star filed for divorce from the rock star just three months after they tied the knot in St Tropez.

And it appears Sacha Baron Cohen’s bungling Kazakh journalist’s advances may have been the last straw.

In the hit movie Borat turns his trip to the US into a quest to marry Pamela. Rock, real name Bob Richie, allegedly flew into a rage when he saw Borat’s advances during a screening of the film.’

Someone has taken Michael Richard’s racist outburst and turned it into a rap song. It’s pretty good. :)

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This is stupid, but funny. :)

(985kB Windows media)

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`Yes, Microsoft’s new Zune digital music player is just plain dreadful. I’ve spent a week setting this thing up and using it, and the overall experience is about as pleasant as having an airbag deploy in your face.

“Avoid,” is my general message. The Zune is a square wheel, a product that’s so absurd and so obviously immune to success that it evokes something akin to a sense of pity.

The setup process stands among the very worst experiences I’ve ever had with digital music players. The installer app failed, and an hour into the ordeal, I found myself asking my office goldfish, “Has it really come to this? Am I really about to manually create and install a .dll file?”

But there it was, right on the Zune’s tech support page. Is this really what parents want to be doing at 4 a.m. on Christmas morning?’

`Don Juan says…
You would not believe the pussy I pull in this thing.

Ol Tripod says…
This shirt is excellent for pulling in husky Native American bitches with diabetes. [..]

Tomash says…
My power has increased 100 fold with the addition of this shirt to my already vast aresenal of wolf shirts.’

‘The bikini bandits? Denmark has redeemed itself!!’

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‘All you need is your own security tag, you set off the security alarm and then you try to get away from the security guard. [..]

You ain’t nicked nothing, but they’ll still chase ya, so leg it.’

There’s something hilarious about a man running around a shopping center being chased by a security guard whilst yelling “C’mon fatty!”.

(13.2meg Flash video)

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`A botched kidnapping ended with one of the assailants shooting himself in the groin, Wichita police said.

The man had just stuck the gun back into his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle. He cringed, causing the gun to fire again and strike him in the left calf.

When the shooting ended, the 23-year-old man managed to walk himself into the hospital for treatment, police said. He and his two accomplices, ages 18 and 20, were arrested for aggravated attempted kidnapping and conspiracy to obstruct justice.

The men were attempting to kidnap a teen in a dispute over stereo speakers, police said.’

`We’re probably all guilty of the occasional Web slip-up. Instead of IM-ing your coworker to complain about your wife, you get mixed up and IM your wife herself. Or instead of forwarding that note from the boss–along with a snarky comment–to your friend, you hit reply. Or for a quick hit of mortification, just take a look at your MySpace page.

Those little missteps, alas, are trifles compared with the most embarrassing incidents on the Web.’

`Turkey’s Internet celebrity Mahir Cagri is so convinced he was the inspiration for the Kazakh journalist character Borat Sagdiyev that he plans to travel to London seeking ways he can benefit from the movie that has surprised Hollywood with a No. 1 debut.

Cagri, 44, became a cyber celebrity after he posted a personal Web site in 1999, which featured unintentionally amusing photos of himself playing pingpong or the accordion and sunbathing in a skimpy bathing suit.

Word of the site spread quickly and the Web site received more than a million hits from fans poking fun at, or endeared by his broken English and as well as a hilarious invitation to women: “Who is want to come TURKEY I can invitate … She can stay my home.”‘

followup to: WELCOME TO MY HOME PAGE !!!!!!!!! I KISS YOU !!!!!

`A constable who took a Taser to a central Auckland domestic dispute wound up shocking himself and a 16-year-old and later pepper-spraying an innocent 21-year-old woman.

The constable accidentally blasted himself with the Taser’s 50,000 volts as he reloaded the weapon while trying to stun a man at the centre of the domestic incident on October 1. One shot accidentally struck the man’s teenage son.

After five attempts to hit the man, the officer eventually used pepper spray. This hit the man’s 21-year-old daughter, also an unintended target.

The man eventually gave himself up. The constable, who had had Taser training, was not injured.’

‘Some dude tries to rob a store with a pretty big knife only to be trumped by the clerks friggin machete.’

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‘This is hilarious. This dude fails the sobriety test before it even begins. The cop asks him to hold a tape and place it on the ground and he [..]’

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`Prof: If we were in Germany, and it were 25 years ago, and I were your teacher, this piece of chalk would have ended up somewhere much closer to you.
Guy: Then I’m glad we’re not in Germany.
Prof: And I am very unhappy I cannot throw chalk at you.’

`Prof: I like knives. Black people are good with knives. They get up close and go, “Wassup!”, and then you dead. That is why black people conquered the West. “Wassup!”’

`Prof: This is not a trick question: What is the internet?
Dude: A series of tubes?’

`Lab Tech: Ugh, everything I touch is sulfuric acid! I hate this lab.’

‘A compilation of The Annoying Devil’s funniest moments from the British TV show Balls of Steel. They can only get away with this stuff in England cause in the US this guy would get shot. Still this guy does some really funny pranks.’

(21.2meg Flash video)

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‘I dont like Hot Tubs in general because I feel like I’m sitting in a cauldron of bacteria and disease. After seeing this I’ll probably never get in one again.’

(900kB Windows media)

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This guy doesn’t think his friend is any good at aiming a paintball gun, so he holds a clay pigeon above his head to see if his friend can hit it.

I think his aim is actually pretty good. :)

(5.2meg Windows media)

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`The crew of a large cargo ship headed for Sydney have been told to catch or kill a rogue monkey running loose aboard the vessel or they will not be allowed to dock.

A spokesman for the Australian Quarantine and Inspection Service (AQIS) said the container ship, said to be coming from China, was due in Australian waters within two days.

The ship’s crew have sent Australian authorities photos of the animal in a bid to have it identified, but the quarantine spokesman said the shots were of a poor quality and showed only a “small brown blur”.’

‘These guys invite their buddy over and tell him to come through the back door because the front is locked. When he gets below their window they drench him with a bucket of their urine. These are great friends to have.’

(10.7meg Windows media)

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`Welcome to the Official Australian Fuckwit Website !

This website is dedicated to the masses of bored shitless TV viewers around the nation, sick of the reality garbage that infests our screens nightly – fuck it’s worse enough watching corpses being cut up and examined on every other channel without being subject to the living ones as well !’

‘Dad is beaming because he just brought home his dream car, a 2007 Mustang price tag $50,000. After drooling over the car in the driveway for a few minutes his 14 year old son asks to park it in the garage. What could go wrong?’

(4.1meg Windows media)

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This is just very strange for many reasons.