moonbuggy

She gives some good advice.

(8.6meg Windows Media)

`Yo bitch, Ghettoman is here..’

(9.7meg Quicktime)

A compilation of all sorts of pinata silliness.

(2.4meg Windows Media)

`Abstract: The exponential dependence of resistivity on temperature in germanium is found to be a great big lie. My careful theoretical modeling and painstaking experimentation reveal 1) that my equipment is crap, as are all the available texts on the subject and 2) that this whole exercise was a complete waste of my time.’

‘A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his “wife”, after he was caught having sex with the animal.

The goat’s owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.

They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.

“We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together,” Mr Alifi said.’

‘This kid can’t wait a few minutes for his computer to warm up. He’s totally freaking out. Calm down kid, internet porn isnt going anywhere.’

Crazy Germans. This kid is gonna choke on his own tongue from screaming so much if he’s not careful.

(7.3meg Windows Media)

see it here »

Chewbacca now has a his own blog. Has some very interesting things to say..

Poor kid. :)

(2.1meg .flv)

`In this clip the Navy is test firing a missile. The way it stalls is really funny for some reason. This scene could be out of a cartoon.’

(540kB Windows Media)

see it here »

`Evah since I been a lil girl i always be thinkin that it would be nasty (in a good way) to have a couple of men act out that scene from Star Wars where Luke comes to rescue Princess Leah from Jabba the hut.

Here’s what i want: Four men (Luke, Jabba, Hans Solo, and Chewy) to come over to my house, tie me up by the neck and then beat me around for a while before reenacting the entire portion of the film that takes place at Jabba’s palace (i will provide copies of the script for you to memorize or read before we commence and i have created costumes from fabric and pieces of plastic i had lying around the house).’

With pictures. Hilarious. :)

`A prosecutor put on a black leather mask and re-enacted a bondage session Friday at a dominatrix’s manslaughter trial, telling the jury the woman did nothing to help her client when he suffered a heart attack. [..]

“After a gasp, his head went forward and she did nothing, nothing for five minutes,” Nelson said, his voice muffled as he spoke through the zippered mouth opening.

Lord’s attorney objected, and Judge Charles Grabau agreed.

“That’s enough, Mr. Nelson,” the judge said. “Thank you for your demonstration.”‘

`An Oregon man hurled both of his prosthetic legs at a police officer, striking him with one, after his son was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving, police said today.

The incident began when the policeman stopped a vehicle going the wrong way on a highway in southern Oregon.

The officer at first detained only the driver, Adam Kackstetter, 26, after he became aggressive. But then his father, Joel Kackstetter, 53, a passenger in the vehicle, grew hostile, a police spokesman said.’

`Maybe I’m childish, but Asse has got to be one of the worst and/or funniest names for chocolate candy that I have come across yet (though Crunky and “Must Be Sexy” are pretty funny too). Asse is a Japanese candy made by Morinaga. It comes in a pack of 18 pieces that are shaped like Andes mints only a little larger. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from the package because the picture on the package looks a bit like peanut butter in the center. It turns out it’s a nougat-like candy like a 3 Musketeers or Milky Way only a little drier. It’s got a faint flavor I can’t quite make out though – almost malty. The chocolate is a darker chocolate than most candies have so it’s just a little bitter (but tasty). I really liked the Asse a lot – it’s good stuff. My wife tried it too and didn’t like it at all. (Yeah, yeah – fill in your own joke here).’

A couple of amusing pictures.

`I decided this weekend to try and quiten my PC by following some other members lead and going down the water cooling road. The fans on my PC were really starting to drive me mad

The first thing that I did was to remove all the fans. The one on the processor and graphics card were no problem but the one in the power unit was a bugger to get out.

The most difficult part was sealing all the ventilitation openings in the PC case with silicon. I also put silicon all around the joints on the PC case. The smell of silicon was dreadful but when my wife complained I told her to be patent as it will be worth it when we have a completely silent PC.

Because I had completely sealed the PC case the only opening near top was the DVD drive. So I opened that and put the small hose I had purchased specially for the job into the DVD drive as far as it would go. With what I can only describe as great excitement and anticipation, I turned on the water. [..]’

Hilarious. :)

`Oval Office
You are standing inside a White House, having just been elected to the presidency of the United States. You knew Scalia would pull through for you.

There is a large desk here, along with a few chairs and couches. The presidential seal is in the middle of the room and there is a full-length mirror upon the wall.

What do you want to do now?

> INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.

> LOOK MIRROR
Self-reflection is not your strong suit.

> PET SEAL
It’s not that kind of seal.’

`Windows has encountered and unknown error.

The error is unknown because the guy who wrote this part of the code quit a while back and he was like really really smart and the rest of us are not really sure how this works or what to do.

BTW, if you are that guy, please give us a call and let us know what to do.’

`Nervous TV bosses have axed an episode of South Park which outs a fictional Tom Cruise character as gay — because they are scared the real actor will sue. [..]

His ex-wife Nicole Kidman and fellow Scientologist John Travolta are portrayed as trying to coax him out.

Nicole, 38, tells him: “Don’t you think this has gone on long enough?

“It’s time for you to come out of the closet. You’re not fooling anyone.”

The episode, called Trapped in the Closet, also features Scientology founder L Ron Hubbard criticising Cruise’s acting skills.’

‘Tony Danza reads some random Chuck Norris facts to Chuck Norris!! Sorry for the bad quality, it was a spur of the moment thing so it’s recorded on my digital camera. Oh, and sorry for the shakiness, it’s hard to hold still when you’re trying not to laugh!’

(3.4meg Flash video)

see it here »

`The best ten stories, according to HumorFeed, are as follows (in alphabetical order, by website):

* Avant News: President Bush Paints Self Into Corner
* BBspot: Microsoft’s Antispyware Tool Removes Internet Explorer
* Brainsnap:Christian Fundamentalists Suspected of Terrorist Bombings
* BSNews: President Bush Sells Louisiana Back to the French
* Confusion Road: Terri Schiavo Dies; Congress Orders Feeding Tube Reinserted
* Department of Social Scrutiny: Government Responds to Charles and Camilla’s Wedding with ID Card Follow-up
* The Fake News: One Hot White Chick Injured in Tsunami Disaster
* John Fanzine: Scientists Discover Most Boring Substance Ever
* Opinions You Should Have: Existence of Poor People A Surprise, Says Bush
* Studio 8 Entertainment: Popeless World Plunges Into Chaos’

`A Maori cultural performer who headbutted a Dutch tourist during a traditional welcome is unapologetic about the attack which left his victim with a broken nose and two black eyes.

Speaking after being sentenced in court yesterday, Richard Minarapa Mitai-Ngatai said the victim had laughed during the “sacred” ceremony.

“He was disrespecting my culture that I love, a culture I am proud to be a part of,” Mitai-Ngatai said.’

`Melbourne’s train temptress has struck again.

However police and rail officials have met to plan an end to her saucy crime spree.

The woman broke into a cabin on a peak-hour Frankston train on Tuesday night and broadcast X-rated praise of the driver to stunned commuters.

The husky-voiced intruder is believed to be the serial seductress behind a similar break-in and announcement on the Sandringham line last week.

The trespasser evaded capture by authorities on both occasions.’

Hilarious forum thread.

Everyone couple of pages this guy posts more pictures of him and his friends. As if the first one isn’t enough. You’ll see what I mean. :)

.. I’ve been reading the thread on and off for the past few hours now. It just gets funnier and funnier. These guys are the biggest tools ever. It’s amazing.

More at Lee Hotti’s website.

`Monday’s edition featured an article on Mehmet Ali Ağca, the person responsible for the creation of the bulletproof Popemobile. The editor obviously wasn’t paying too close attention to yesterday’s FRONT PAGE articles as they passed his eyes, as someone got sloppy with their cutting and pasting: [..]

Did you catch that last sentence?’

‘The Weishampel Exchange was created in 1996 on board of a ship patrolling the coast of California. The act, while disturbing, is catching on like fire through the homosexual and transgendered communities along the West Coast, as well as the DC area.

A Weishampel Exchange is a sexual practice in which two men stand, facing each other. Their phalli are connected by use of a water pipe from urethra to urethra. There are two variations: the traditional Weishampel Exchange refers to the act of one man ejaculating through the pipe, into the recipient’s urethra. Thus “exchanging” semen from the ejaculate traveling down the pipe. The DC Weishampel Exchange is a more recent variation, in which both men simultaneously ejaculate, creating an exciting battle of pressure.’

Update: seems wikipedia took the article away. Good thing I copied the bulk of the text before they did. :) Otherwise this important piece of knowledge would have invariably been lost to the ages..

`The US Secretary of State released a coarse anti-Russian statement. This is because she is a single woman who has no children [..]

“This is the only way to satisfy her needs of a female. She derives pleasure from it. If she has no man by her side at her age, he will never appear. Even if she had a whole selection of men to choose from she would stay single because her soul and heart have hardened. Like Napoleon, Genghis Khan, Tamerlane, or Alexander the Great of Macedon Ms. Rice needs to fight and release tough public statements in global scale. She needs to be on top of the world. [..]

“Condoleezza Rice needs a company of soldiers. She needs to be taken to barracks where she would be satisfied. On the other hand, she can hardly be satisfied because of her age. This is a complex. She needs to return to her university and teach students there. She could also deal with psychological analysis.

“The true reason of Ms. Rice’s attack against Russia is very simple. Condoleezza Rice is a very cruel, offended woman who lacks men’s attention. Releasing such stupid remarks gives her the feeling of being fulfilled. This is the only way for her to attract men’s attention,” Vladimir Zhirinovsky said.’

Pravda has to be about the best newspaper on the planet, I just decided. Russian journalism is a top-notch, quality operation. :)

`For the last couple of years, my friend Laszlo Toth has been conducting a cruel experiment. He shows his friends Goatse and then takes a photo of their reaction.’

You can read this site first, or go directly to the first goatse flickr page.

Is this Ron Jeremy? I woulda thought a world famous porn star would be able to deal with the revelation that is goatse.

If you’re somehow oblivious to the internet phenomenom thats taken the world by storm, then you can see it for yourself. You love it. [The original site was taken down years ago and it’s difficult to find a mirrored copy at the moment. This links to a smaller version of the image, but it’s large enough for you to get the idea. :)]