moonbuggy

`There is no need to go out in the drizzling rain to protest anymore. You can do it from the comfort of your own home.’

‘My goodness, Susy! We almost became Muslims! I want Jesus! [..]

Oh, those poor Muslims. They’ve been lied to.

Yes, because of Mohammed’s false teaching. We must pray for them.’

Not as good as it sounds. I think the world passed the “go fuck yourself” stage a few years ago. At this point people should just be walking upto him and kicking him in the nuts, rather than heckling.

Still, it’s an improvement. :)

see it here »

Prank phone call.

(1.8meg .mp3)

see it here »

‘These kids decide to pee down a slide in the middle of the night at a park. After they finish the one guy thinks he can still safely walk down the slide but he is wrong.’

(3.3meg Windows media)

see it here »

`The cone shaped nostril inserts were designed to allow one size to fit all. The slider provides a snug fit. The clitoral stimulator, with natural head movement, excites the receiver, in addition to the oral arousal. In short, it doubles the pleasure, and doubles the fun! With The Pussy Snorkel you won’t miss a lick!

WARNING: USPSA* Surgeon General has determined that continuous use of The Pussy Snorkel will cause multiple orgasms, which could result in temporary loss of energy. ‘

‘This is a great prank call made using clips from A Few Good Men. The lady being pranked really gets worked up.’

(1.1meg .mp3)

see it here »

A pretty good summary of all the major news stories at the moment.

‘Just started bustin’ rhymes, finally found my groove,
Now the SS on my jacket stands for super smooth..

And when I step into the clubs you know I’m steppin’ with style,
I raise my left hand, party people say heil..’

(7.7meg Flash video)

see it here »

Relatively large, but it is absolutely hilarious.

Worth the download. :)

(7.5meg .wmv)

‘A British TV prankster squirts water from a fake microphone into Tom’s face while he gives an interview on the red carpet. To his credit, Tom remains incredibly restrained.’

see it here »

‘Actually, he isn’t. The whole thing was one big joke, and people are buying it left and right. You probably didn’t, because you found this page, but lots of people are stupid enough to buy into this shit.

Someone made a thing about midgets getting killed by lions, I ripped that off, hosted it over here, and tried to have some fun while I was gone taking a class.

It worked. Check and mate.’

Followup to the Bruce Pastuer Murder Thread post. I finally bothered to look a bit more into it. Shoulda done it in the first place, but I’m lazy and I don’t really care that much. :)

Amusing video from WoW (I think).

Reminds me of a friend of mine. Every time we tried to start a new Diablo multiplayer game the first thing he would do is race down and let the Butcher out. Invariably, soon after the game started there’d be a cry of “Aah, fuck! Dave’s the the Butcher out again. Help me! Help! Oh, don’t worry, I’m dead”, followed by much laughter from Dave himself and moans from everyone else.

Those were the days. :)

(6.6meg Flash video)

see it here »

‘It was in late December 2004 when New York-based comedian Eugene Mirman first received a phone-call from a nonprofit organization called “Faith, Family and Freedom,” asking if he opposed gay marriage and then offering to switch his long-distance service to a “Christian-based telephone carrier” identified as United American Technologies out of Oklahoma. [..]

After the call reaches a person they are prompted to press “1” if they oppose gay marriage. A holding message says “Please do not hang up … This information will describe how the ACLU and gays are getting gay marriage in every state.” The operator then enters the conversation:

Operator: Did you press 1 to oppose same sex marriages?
Mr. Mirman: Oh, I pressed it, yes.
Operator: Okay, that’s great to hear. And are you against same sex marriages?
Mr. Mirman: Well, I want to destroy it, yes.
Operator: Okay. That’s great to hear… –
Mr. Mirman: Like the fist of God we will smash them!
Operator: Exactly.’

mp3s of the recorded conversations. Worth a listen.

`Due to the falling out between Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton, producers of Fox’s The Simple Life are continuing their search for the perfect spoiled, no-talent socialite cunt to step in for Richie. “It shouldn’t be too hard to find another vapid, muddied cum-dumpster perpetually drunk on the jizz of trust-fund himbos,” producer Jonathan Murray said. “Any million-dollar Bambi with a vast inheritance and no ambition will do, though gutter-sluts with coke-fueled pasts will be given special consideration.” Murray added that “it doesn’t matter if her pussy rattles when the wind blows—we can fix that in post.”‘

(300k .mp3)

see it here »

`41. The Elephant
Walk around the office with your pockets out and your cock dangling from your open zipper. When confronted, make an elephant noise and then chase them around screaming, “STAMPEDE” and laughing hysterically. [..]

29. The Skeptic
Anytime you are in a meeting, raise your hand and and ask your boss, “What makes you so smart?” or “How’d you figure that Einstein?” or “You come up with that all by yourself, champ?” [..]

24. The Birthday Dick
For your boss’ birthday get him a cake that reads, “Happy Birthday Dick.” Explain that it was a mix up at the bakery. Then write “Happy Birthday Dick” on his card.

If his name is actually Dick, get a cake that says, “Happy Birthday Vagina.”‘

‘The waters comin’ through me fucken ceiling, you fucken arseholes!’

see it here »

These guys are idiots. They hurt themselves and roll around screaming in pain.

I don’t know what else they expected to happen. :)

(900k .wmv)

see it here »

who took my frog
who found my frog

Amusing clip from some game show.

(4.3meg shockwave)

`Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now what?”‘

`I love it when a plan for a plan coming together comes together.

It’s a B-grade show that’s been off the air for almost 20 years and lasted only five seasons, but people everywhere still hum its theme song before rolling into action. What does “The A-team” mean to people today? Stuffo set out to build our own A-team from scratch, and in the process find out if Faceman, B.A., Hannibal, and Murdock still live on in the hearts and minds of dreamers everywhere.

Phase 1: Recruiting. If you were looking for a band of misfit ex-military types with welding and stunt-driving experience, where would you look? The “real” A-team lived in LA. So we placed an ad on Craigslist’s LA site. There was no category for “crack commandoes” so we settled for “gigs>>crew.”‘

`When Johan Vande Lanotte, Belgium’s Vice Prime Minister, goes to the toilets today, he finds the urinals in the offices of his ministry decorated with stickers. They show an American flag and the head of George W. Bush. “Go ahead. Piss on me,” the caption says. Vande Lanotte is one of Bush’s hosts in Brussels. Is peeing on your guest’s head appropriate? In Belgium it is. After all, Brussels’ best known statue is that of “Manneken Pis,” a peeing boy.’

`The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide ‘play by play’ of the incident. After telling them the story, he promised to send them a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box, it crashed their voice mail server.’

(1.5meg .mp3)

`I stumbled across a web page that had tons of prank phone calls to the IP Relay service. The IP Relay Service is a service designed to help people that are deaf or hard of hearing. It allows them to send text messages to the service and have operators, place a call to the desired party and then read the message to them.

While a very handy service, some people take advantage of it and use it for pranks phone calls. Normally, I would say this is a bad thing. However, if it weren’t for these prank calls, we would never know about “Operator 7624”. Unfortunately, all we know is that she is female, has a good sense of humor, and has a very hot voice!’

`Every year we grow more and more dependent on the Internet. But would you know what to do if your connection suddenly went down?

No one knows when the Internet will fail. It could happen at any time, leaving you bereft of your e-mail, your sports scores, and your Blogs. Therefore, it’s important that you and your family have a contingency plan for just such an emergency. If your connection to Cyberspace were to ever get severed, you should at least be prepared. We have included a few key points that should assist you if that were to happen.’

‘Dracula 3000 is, supposedly, a sci-fi horror film. In practice, however, it appears to be the result of a collision of what little the director knew about those two genres, taken from what he could glean from his memory of 1970’s late night movies while his mother was out looking for a new daddy. Add in the extra challenge of trying to make a feature length film with a budget of fourteen dollars and a bag of black tar heroin, and the resulting mess is neither thought provoking, nor exciting, nor frightening, nor any other qualities that could distinguish it from ninety minutes spent looking at, say, a real-time map of local traffic conditions.’

The shockwave clips from the movie are fantastic. :) It’s not every day you hear the phrase “ejaculate all over your bazongas” in a movie.

`I honestly can’t understand why all women aren’t lesbians. There’s simply no excuse for why women are attracted to hairy, sweaty, stinky, men.

And yet I’m a straight male but I want a strong man to fuck me in the ass, lick my asshole and suck my cock and my balls, and I want to do the same thing to him.

Straight, though.’