moonbuggy

An amusing song about train drivers..

(721kB Shockwave)

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‘Ahhh…I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again…

I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

How about never? Is never good for you?

I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.’

‘Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said on Thursday he has not decided whether to attend an international security conference next week in Germany, where he might be subject to arrest on a war-crimes complaint. [..]

He conceded in response to questions at a press conference that one problem was the jurisdiction of a German court over a 160-page criminal complaint filed Nov. 30 with the federal prosecutor’s office in Germany accusing him of war crimes in connection with detainee abuse at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq.’

I hope he goes, and I hope the Germans put him in jail and get prostitutes to menstruate on him. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, afterall.

`There’s no getting around it. At some point in your career, your patience will be tested with a stupid client who is so clueless that you’ll question your sanity, career choice, and the future of mankind.

You may have dealt with one already, one that just stuns you like a deer in headlights. Dumbfounded to utter anything but an “uhhh…”. Some clients have no concept of reality. They make up their mind, just to change it again to an even more hideous decision. And will end up blaming you for the mess. Can we honestly blame the client? Sure we can…’

`Fast payment and good communication. thanks
Reply by mizzelphug: Liar. I paid with paypal and EVERYTHING was automated. I didn’t even email you.

[..]

Cute items! Fast shipping! Thank you! AAA+++
Reply by mizzelphug: I got them out of a gumball machine. Thank USPS for the fast shipping, not me.’

(341kB Windows media)

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I’m not the man they think I am at home..
Oh no no no..
I’m a rock-et man.

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time..

Lalala. :)

(12.0meg Flash video)

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`Police in Germany are hunting pranksters who have been sticking miniature US flags into piles of dog poo in public parks.

Josef Oettl, parks administrator for Bayreuth, said: “This has been going on for about a year now, and there must be 2,000 to 3,000 piles of excrement that have been claimed during that time.”‘

‘A Serbian Bruce Willis lookalike who passed himself off as the star was caught out – because he thought anyone called Bruce must be Australian.

Goran Markovic successfully conned people into thinking he was the Hollywood actor until he was caught using a fake Australian passport and accent instead of an American one. [..]

“I thought he was Australian, all the rest in Hollywood seem to be from there,” he told police.’

`Students at a secondary school in Sprockhoevel can choose to use the old toilets for free or pay 10 cents to use a new luxury toilet with marble wash basins. [..]

[Some politician] described the toilet toll as “heartless” and said: “Second-class peeing should not be allowed.”‘

Links to some interesting web cams.

Follow-up to Google Search for ‘inurl:”ViewerFrame?Mode=”‘.

`During our research for “Don’t Cross the Memes” we encountered several potent memetic viruses. Six months later we have perfected a simple yet effective human virus detector. Scan yourself, or scan your friends.’

There’s a 60% chance I’m infected with Pokemon. :)

Laughing at things with strange names is the absolute pinnacle of comedy.

Yes it is.

‘More than 2,000 new and revised word entries have been added to the online edition of The Oxford English Dictionary and a small contingent of them come from the P. Diddy and Eminem arena.

For example, the word “benjamin,” meaning “a one-hundred dollar bill” and more generally, “large sums of money” made its way onto the list.

Other hip-hop words that were added:

— “Hoochie,” which means “a young woman who is promiscuous or who dresses or behaves in a sexually provocative or overtly seductive manner.”

— “Thugged out” is defined as “resembling a thug in dress or behavior, tough-looking.”

— And finally, the dictionary editors have added “crack ho,” which is defined as “a prostitute addicted to crack cocaine.”‘

`Mesylation of One’s Face.
Mesylation of human skin may be accomplished by the application of methanesulphonyl chloride, in a dichloromethane-aerosol. [..]

Upon Cleaning Glassware: Chromic Acid or “Smash-it-and-bin-it”?
Chromic acid is often the last resort for stubborn contamination on glassware. However, the option of smashing the apparatus, and disposing of it as waste glass, is often overlooked. The merits of both techniques are discussed in this communication.’

All you need is a cat and some sticky tape.

(1.9meg Flash video)

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Somewhere in Redfern, apparently.

‘The French manufacturer Renault is to go to the courts to protect its reputation after a motorist claimed to have been forced to drive at nearly 200 kilometres per hour (125 mph) because of a fault with his car’s speed regulator, the company said Thursday.’

followup to Runaway Car Races Along French Highways.

‘A motorist in France went a little faster than he wanted when he claimed his cruise control got stuck, leaving him barreling down a busy highway at 120 mph and forcing police to help clear a route.

[..] He couldn’t cut the ignition, he said, because his car has a magnetic card instead of a key.’

‘So you’ve got two penises – all guys should be so lucky. Life is good. Or so the other guys think. But being biphallic – i.e., having two cocks – isn’t a piece of cake. You never have a free hand when jacking off. You go through condoms and lube twice as fast. And you have to take twice as much Viagra to get them up.’

`Pie corrupts. Absolute pie corrupts absolutely.’

‘How can so many supposedly media-savvy operators – even members of the intelligence community – still be so easily fooled? Don’t these people have assistants with subscriptions to HBO or, at the very least, access to the outside world?’

The Russian Knight Rider.

(8meg mpeg)

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Recording of a man calling to ask for information on a Gay and Lesbian TV channel.

(1meg mp3)

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(3.7meg Windows media)

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`I received this stupid pen on my birthday years ago from my ex-wife, and even before I divorced her flabby body, I hated the pen. [..]

My current wife, who is way more beautiful and way more cool that this pig could ever choose to be, hates the pen too. [..]’

Hey love crusader, I want to be your space invader.

(9.6meg MPEG)

see it here »