`A grandad stuck down a manhole had his cries for help ignored by passers-by for almost an hour.
Clive Colins, 65, was about to open the boot of his car in a busy shopping car park when he stepped back on to a loose manhole cover and tumbled down a 5ft hole.
About 30 people walked past him, even though he was yelling for help and his head, a leg and an arm were stuck above the surface.
One woman even parked her car next to him. But she ignored the retired garage owner’s cries as she put the roof up on her convertible.’
`After walking the Great Wall of China and making plans for a trip to Russia, Shirley Greening-Jackson thought signing up for a new internet service would be a doddle.
But the young man behind the counter had other ideas. He said she was barred – because she was too old.
The 75-year-old would only be allowed to sign the forms for the Carphone Warehouse’s TalkTalk phone and broadband package if she was accompanied by a younger member of her family who could explain the small print to her.’
`With tens of thousands of U.S. nuns over age 70, the Roman Catholic Church is facing a massive financial shortfall for the care of retirees in religious orders — a gap that over the long term dwarfs costs from the clergy abuse crisis.
Though billions of dollars have been salted away, there still remains an unfunded future liability of $8.7 billion for current nuns, priests and brothers in religious orders. The financial hole is projected by a consulting firm to exceed $20 billion by 2023.’
`With Australian outback hero Crocodile Dundee as her inspiration, an 80-year-old British pensioner foiled a knife-wielding burglar with an even bigger blade of her own.
When woken by a masked man holding a knife, Winifred Whelan screamed and ran downstairs to the kitchen.
Grabbing a giant carving knife, she told the startled intruder “You call that a knife? This is a knife” in an echo of the famous scene in the Crocodile Dundee film when actor Paul Hogan confronted a New York mugger.’
`A dog that was removed from an assisted-living home after it was found licking flesh off an elderly woman’s arm has been found suitable for adoption. [..]
Ninety-one-year-old Nina Borseth, died May 24, four days after Cosita caused the wounds that a Pima County Medical Examiner’s report said contributed to her death.
Borseth’s death was mainly due to Alzheimer’s disease. [..]
Investigators say Cosita was likely licking Borseth’s arm as a way of being sociable.’
`An 89-year-old New Zealand woman on a mobility scooter fled the scene after twice running down and injuring a pedestrian, the victim alleged.
June Bridgman pleaded guilty in a South Island court this week to carelessly operating a vehicle causing injury, but denied it was a hit and run, The Dominion Post reported.
Bridgman plans to continue using the scooter. [..]
Ellison told the newspaper she lay in agony with broken bones on a street in the town of Picton after being hit twice as Bridgman fled “like a bat out of hell”.’
`Miami’s South Beach is famously sexy. Everywhere you look there’s glistening, touchable skin, and every impulse that goes with it. But some of SoBe’s steamiest scenes aren’t in the clubs. Lots of images — naked celebrities, people doin’ it with game birds and women straddling airplanes — gather in a more discreet location, overseen by a 71-year-old grandmother.
On a corner building in the heart of South Beach, a small neon sign quietly advertises the “World Erotic Art Museum,” and inside is most of the $10 million erotic art collection of Naomi Wilzig, who has been hunting down images of our glorious sex lives for the past 15 years. She used to collect garden-variety antiques until that fateful day when her son asked her to find something a little more blue — not in color — for his apartment. She took up the challenge and found a new thrill in the world of sexy old things.’
‘A 75-year-old grandfather has become the newest star of Russia’s growing porn industry, after wandering on to a film set by mistake, thinking it was a muscle man show.
David Bozdoganov has since starred in the films The Old Neighbour and Handyman at Work.
Director Alexander Plahov said: “We were auditioning for a new film and had a number of couples on stage simulating sex when I saw an old guy standing at the back.
“I wandered over to ask him to leave when I saw this massive package straining against his trousers. [..]”‘
Also, lemons.
`Drinking your own urine? Orland Park police have no problem with that.
But drink it in a front-page newspaper article while wearing your crossing guard uniform complete with official police insignia, and there will be problems.
Ed Danis, the 84-year-old Orland Park “urine therapy” devotee featured in a Jan. 29 Southtown story, has been suspended from his job as a crossing guard, effective Wednesday.
Orland Park Police Chief Tim McCarthy, whose department oversees the part-time guards, said Danis had been warned in writing twice before that he was not allowed to espouse his beliefs while on duty or in his uniform.’
‘A small-town rumor that sparked world-wide interest about a mouse burning down a house has been found to be untrue.
After 81-year-old Chano Mares’s house burned down Saturday in Fort Sumner, news services picked up the quirky story. [..]
“It’s really humorous more than anything that a mouse burned down the house,” he told KOAT-TV in Albuquerque. The mouse was dead when it hit the burning leaves.
Mares said he trapped and killed the critter and tossed it on the fire.
The flames, he said, probably reached his house because they were driven by high winds.’
follow-up to Vengeful mouse sets house ablaze.
`Clarksville Police are searching for three men they say kidnapped, raped, robbed and held captive a 79-year-old woman for six hours after she attempted to walk into a Madison Street pharmacy.
The woman told police she was approached at about 3:30 p.m. Monday by a knife-wielding man and forced into the back seat of her bronze 1989 Ford Escort, according to an incident report by Detective Sean Averitt.
Two other men got into the back seat with her, and the first man drove away in her car. She was ordered to undress before being sexually assaulted and forced to smoke crack cocaine, Averitt wrote.’
`A 97-year-old woman was arrested Tuesday after police in Portland raided a suspected drug house located across the street from an elementary school [..]
Agents arrested the woman and 18 others in the raid.
Oregon police spokesman Brian Schmuatz said people were throwing crack out windows of the home during the raid.
Some neighbors said the woman did not know what was going on inside the house but detectives don’t believe it.’
