moonbuggy

Not safe for work, though not as bad as that Mr. Hands thing from the other week.

`North American scientists have discovered the longest bird penis ever – a 42.5cm organ belonging to a duck.

Dr Kevin McCracken of the University of Alaska, Fairbanks, and colleagues, report in this week’s Nature that they have found a specimen of the Argentine lake duck (Oxyura vittata) that has a penis as long as its body – nearly half a metre long.

This has extended an earlier estimate of the length of the duck’s corkscrew-shaped penis, which was 20cm.’

`A sex assault trial that hung on claims of a large penis was turned into a “cheap joke” by media coverage, a superior court judge said yesterday as she found the accused guilty.

Justice Margaret Eberhard said she was disturbed after receiving calls “from afar” and was ribbed numerous times over the trial in which a man claimed he could not be guilty of rape because his penis is too big. [..]

A 22-year-old student, who can’t be identified, claimed his penis is too big to insert into an average vagina without special preparation or it causes bleeding and scarring.

A urologist brought to court a plastic model that depicted the size of the member at a semi-relaxed state, which measured 8 1/2 inches long and 6 1/2 inches in girth.’

Followup to Penis size used as defence in trial.

`Grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng, best known for his Iron Crotch, attached himself not once, but twice, to a rental moving truck and pulled it several yards across a parking lot in Fremont. In lace-up leather boots and a black tank top, the 50-year-old tied a strip of blue fabric around the base of his penis and testicles and tugged to make sure it was on tight. An assistant kicked him hard between the legs before he lashed himself to the vehicle.

He groaned, grunted and pressed against two men for resistance.

Then, slowly, the truck began to roll forward. ‘

`A fortysomething man in overalls sings about proper terminilogy for your anatomy. You don’t often see a song played on a miniature guitar that contains the word “vulva”.

This clip originally appeared in the 1984 video Strong Kids, Safe Kids, starring Henry Winkler.’

[sings] Our anus is a useful thing indeed, the anus gives relief in times of need..

`Deputies were called to the Holiday Inn on Fort Myers Beach Saturday night after several people reported spotting a naked man cavorting around the building.

Two women said Jeremy Miljour, 26, of Bonita Springs, approached them asking them to “touch him.” [..]

Despite the 50,000 volt shock to the sensitive area, deputies say Miljour continued to attack them. So they sent another 50,000 volts through the probe.

That was apparently too much for Miljour, and he surrendered. He was taken to the hospital to have the probe removed.’

`American president George W. Bush stunned the world yesterday by showing everyone that he has an extremely small penis. Though he never actually took off his clothes, the irrefutable evidence of his miniscule manhood was made official when he declared war on the nation of Iraq without any apparent justification.

First lady Laura Bush, who saw the president’s pecker once after a tractor pull in Austin, was on hand to confirm the diagnosis.

Speaking to reporters, she said it was ‘about the size of a hanging chad’, and ‘harder to find than Al Gore’s name on a Florida ballot’.

The historic announcement marks the first time the size of a presidential penis was not revealed by way of a White House intern.’

‘A Superior Court judge must decide whether to believe a 21-year-old accused who says he could not have committed a sexual assault because his penis is too big. [..]

Earlier in the trial, which has been in and out of court for months, a urologist testified that Beutling’s penis is in the top 5% range for size in comparison to the doctor’s other patients. [..]

The urologist showed the court a plastic model of a penis approximating the accused’s member at a semi-relaxed state, which measured 8 1/2 inches in length and 6 1/2 inches in girth.

He said a woman who has not given birth might have discomfort or tearing if she had intercourse with a penis that size, especially if she was not sexually aroused.’

‘The murder of a tramp was successfully solved in Russia’s southern port city of Novorossiisk after police discovered the victim’s penis on the person of the murderer. He had cut it off and kept it as a trophy, Russian news agency Regnum reported on Tuesday.

According to the agency, police discovered the dead body of a man in a garage block. The dead man was naked and his penis had been cut off. Investigators have found out that the dead man was a local tramp known as Sniper — a nickname he got for allegedly serving in the army in Chechnya. [..]

According to the investigators’ main theory, the murder was committed out of jealousy. The victim and his killer had been drinking in the company of a young homeless woman and started fighting. The young tramp strangled Sniper and then cut off his penis which he apparently kept as a trophy.’

Slightly amusing. Bob Saget has a small penis, apparently. [shrug] :)

(3.7meg Flash video)

see it here »

`Dr. Chopp is board certified by the American Board of Urology and joined The Urology Team in 1983. He attended medical school at The University of Minnesota. His internship and residency were both at the University of Southern California, where he served in various capacities, including adult service, general urology, and renal service. [..]

Dr. Richard (Dick) Chopp is well known in the Austin community for performing Vasectomies. [..]’

Dick Chopp. Get it? Ha ha.

[shrug] :)

Funnily enough, this one might just pass as safe for work because there’s really nothing in it that is both obscene and large enough to be visible. :)

(3.7meg Windows media)

see it here »

It’s a goatse sorta thing.

Now, if only I could find the biphallic version.. [chuckle] :)

Update: Now with a working picture.

see it here »

Side by side pictures of the model and the photographer in the same pose. Not safe for work.

I know how much you guys reading my blog love this sorta stuff. :)

(830k Flash video)

see it here »

‘The “suspicious package” that caused Interstate 75 and Daniels Parkway to be shut for more than an hour Monday was not an explosive pipe bomb — but rather wrapped-up plastic foot-long penis.

“Someone took construction-grade plastic, molded it into a penis and wrapped it with duct tape,” said Lee County Sheriff’s Chief Deputy Charles Ferrante.

“They wrote ‘Happy Father’s Day’ on the duct tape.”‘

I’ll just say it’s not safe for work and leave it at that. :)

Best viewed with sound on.

You love biphallic sex. Go on, have a look.

Don’t worry, it’s safe for work.

Graaaagh!

`41. The Elephant
Walk around the office with your pockets out and your cock dangling from your open zipper. When confronted, make an elephant noise and then chase them around screaming, “STAMPEDE” and laughing hysterically. [..]

29. The Skeptic
Anytime you are in a meeting, raise your hand and and ask your boss, “What makes you so smart?” or “How’d you figure that Einstein?” or “You come up with that all by yourself, champ?” [..]

24. The Birthday Dick
For your boss’ birthday get him a cake that reads, “Happy Birthday Dick.” Explain that it was a mix up at the bakery. Then write “Happy Birthday Dick” on his card.

If his name is actually Dick, get a cake that says, “Happy Birthday Vagina.”‘

‘Russian doctors have conducted an 11-hour operation to replace a patient’s deformed penis with one grown on his forearm, the Moskovskiy Komsomolets daily reports.

The 30-year-old Russian man, whose name was changed in the article to protect his privacy, had a defect from birth — his penis was crooked, two-and-a-half-inches long and lacked a scrotum, the newspaper writes.

The doctors had the penis removed and attached to the man’s arm. Using his body tissue it grew to six-and-a-half inches and was sewn back on to his groin. Silicone tubes were inserted into the organ to ensure an erection was possible. Doctors also created a scrotum from the patient’s own skin and placed silicone testicles in it.’

`Raju Shetty’s (28) attempt to adopt an inventive method to enhance sexual pleasure landed him on the surgeon’s table yesterday.

Inspired by the fad of body piercing, the Pantnagar (Ghatkopar) resident substituted a ring with a metal nut and pushed it around his penis. Problem was, the metal stayed stubbornly stuck to his organ for over two hours.

After failing to remove the foreign body, an embarrassed Shetty decided to seek medical help and checked into the casualty ward of Rajawadi Hospital in the evening.’

`Research into medieval Icelandic gender and sexuality has found that even the heroes of Viking Age sagas were troubled by the thought that size really does matter.

Dr Carl Phelpstead of Cardiff University’s School of English, Communication and Philosophy presented a paper: ‘Size Matters: Penile Problems in Sagas of Icelanders’ to the International Medieval Congress, held in Leeds last week.’

This should generate a little bit of traffic. :)

Update: It’s attracting quite a bit of traffic actually. Several gay forums seem to have noticed and are sending people my way. Now if only someone would buy a dildo. :)

If you’ve come here for a double dose of cock, why don’t you have a bit of a look around the rest of the site? There’s more to life than duplicate deep dicking, you know.

`A Swedish woman said on Sunday that she had found a penis in a bottle of ketchup.

Viktoria Ed said she was lucky enough to discover the organ before putting the sauce on her bread rolls, unlike her husband Stefan and their children, Madeleine and Simon.

“It looked like a penis, of an adult if it’s human, and medium sized,” she said.’

`Rugged Randy is soft, lovable and has disproportionately large genitalia.

He is pretty much the greatest plush toy ever created, and one of a kind. He is one of the few dolls ever manufactured to escape the toy factory before being processed in the de-genitalizing machine. De-genitalizing is a final cleansing stage used in doll production to streamline all crotch regions of children’s dolls, helping parents everywhere avoid tough sex and gender based questioning.’

In a previous post I discussed the fact that, according to my web stats, people are really interested in biphallicism.

So, here you go. :) You know you love it.

Oh, also, I just found this.

The latter picture is significantly less safe for work than the former. :)

I’ve been wondering about this for a while. Ever since I linked to an article titled “How to Fuck With Two Cocks” a steady 5 to 10% of traffic to my site has originated from web searches for the phrase “biphallic”.

Now, I’d never even heard the word “biphallic” before I linked to that article, but it seems a good 5 to 10% of the people reading this post not only have heard the word but are actively seeking it out.

This has been going on for months. Seriously, I just don’t understand.

Is it a fetish of some sort? Do a lot of you have two cocks? Do you only have one cock and are looking for an upgrade?

Do you have three cocks and are looking for a downgrade?

Fuck only knows. If you got here by searching for two cocks, why don’t you add a comment to this post and tell me what you hoped to find..?

I really am curious.

Whilst I don’t deny that my own cock is a magnificent specimen, I’m sorry to say that I only have one of them. So I’m sorry if you are disappointed, and I’m sorry if you didn’t find a multi-phallic overfiend knocking down hospitals and killing nurses with penile-lazers in true hentai style [if that’s what you were looking for]..

But, thanks for visiting anyways. :)

Update: I am still getting lots of traffic for “biphallic” searches. So I’ve decided I’m going to try and sell some dildos. :) Like this..

see it here »